Pregnant In Heels

This is a new show on Bravo. I wasn't planning to recap it but I started watching and right away there was someone I could make fun of - so I'm going to give it a try.

Premise: Rosie Pope is a maternity concierge, fashion designer and all around pregnancy guru. She caters to rich people who don't mind spending thousands and thousands of dollars on maternity clothes or who have no idea what to do with a baby.

Rosie has one baby but apparently he was sort of a miracle. Her uterus is shaped strangely so she is now having a very difficult time getting pregnant herself. She's using IVF.



She's on her way to meet some clients, Sarah and Jon. It is their first baby and they need help designing a nursery.  She's due in four weeks and have not planned for their nursery yet?

Sarah says that when she first found out she was pregnant she "thought of it as this like life force sucking parasite." Lovely.

They live in Tribeca and have their loft designed "sleek" and not cluttered. They don't want to change things too much with the nursery. They basically think that all baby toys are ugly.  They want Rosie to help them create a nursery that won't cramp their style.

They think the baby stuff is too "babified". Basically, what the place looks like matters more than the baby's happiness and development. No noisy, colorful toys. Awesome.

Rosie gives all of her clients a Baby IQ test to see how prepared they are. We only get to hear two questions. The couple is surprised that a baby can projectile vomit and projectile poop.

When Rosie gets to see the house, we see the "baby stuff" that they've collected so far.

A changing table - looks so inviting and soft to a baby right??

And the crib.

Yes, they are due in 4 weeks. Not only could anything happen and the baby could come at any time - but how can you not be excited to get the baby's room ready? I had mine decorated and ready 2 months before my due date!

They don't have a carseat, stoller or clothes.

The expectant father Jon says that when he was a kid, it was made known that he was NOT the center of the universe, that he was just there for the ride.  Rosie asks them if that's how they want to make their baby feel and Sarah says "The world doesn't revolve around them."

Wow.

Sarah doesn't talk to her belly and has no connection to the baby in there. She says she's not going to be the type to do baby talk and whatnot. I feel bad for this kid and he hasn't been born yet.

Rosie is taking them shopping since they are completely unprepared. The strollers are so overwhelming to Sarah that she wants to run out. I want to punch her in the face, pregnant or not.

Sarah wants the baby to only have two little blocks to play with. Nothing big or gaudy like a stuffed animal.  The blocks are "perfect" because the baby can just "knock them together."  Oh and the guy in the lavender V-neck tee in this photo is not a gay assistant. That's Sarah's husband Jon.

On another day, Rosie is bringing a therapist to Sarah and Jon's house because Rosie is concerned about their negative attitude towards children. This should go over well.

The guy in the pink V-neck tee in this photo is not a gay assistant. That's again Sarah's husband Jon.

Sarah is offended that Rosie brought a therapist, as is pink V-neck.  They NEED this therapist. Just from her comment about the baby being a "life force sucking parasite" alone, nevermind the fact that they don't think babies care about having colors and things to look at and listen to.

Sarah has lots of anxiety regularly and since she doesn't want to add baby anxiety to that she just doesn't think about it (which means she doesn't prepare for the baby and probably why they don't have any clothes, diapers, etc. even though she's four weeks away from her due date).

Another problem is that the couple thinks that their life is virtually ending with the birth of this baby. I'm sad for them.

My life began with my son's birth so I'm the exact opposite of these people. I do not like them

It is now two weeks away from the estimated due date and you would still never know it by walking into their loft. The nursery is still called "the guest room".  Rosie and her assistant send Sarah and Jon out of the building while they decorate.

The room turns out slightly boring but at least there is SOME color in there.

Sarah is appalled with the baby gym (mat). I guess they don't want their child to be stimulated in any way and maybe not learn any hand eye coordination.

Rosie visits the couple after the baby is born.  And no, the guy in the baby blue v-neck tee is not the gay nanny, that's Jon - the father.

Unfortunately, their baby is named Fox. I think. Oh boy. I see some v-neck tees in his future.




Next couple - Samantha and her husband Mitch are pregnant with their third child. They are having trouble naming the baby so I guess they are paying Rosie to help name their son. Samantha is a personal branding expert. Whatever that is.

For their first child they gathered up all their alma mater's magazines (Harvard and Dartmouth) because they publish baby names. They put all the names into a spreadsheet.  Then they bought a book that was something like the 12,000 most popular baby names and they read through every single baby name to see what each of their reaction would be. WHAT? 

The two names of their daughters are Ella and Ruby. Beautiful names but they used all of that time and research to come up with them? Scary.

Rosie has gathered a group of people together to help on the name - businessmen, poets, baby name bloggers, etc. 

Some rules on the naming per Samantha and Mitch:

1. Easy to spell
2. Not too popular
3. No decorative names
4. No J in the first name
5. No E in the first name
6. No R in the first name
7. Don't want the first name to end in "S"

One guy suggests "Porter" and Samantha response is "But Porter doesn't remind you of someone who helps you with your bag?" So...a bellhop?

Miles, Holden, Tucker, Bode, Bowen, Asher. Some of the names thrown out there.

Now that there is a list of baby names - Rosie has a focus group put together to see what they can decide.  Samantha and Mitch watch the focus group through a window where the group cannot see them.  They are going to review a list of ten names - 5 that the couple liked and 5 that the couple hated.

Bode  (pronounced Bow-dee)
Asher
Holden
Miles
Clifford
Jayden
Tucker
Bowen
Bronx
Steven

First going into this, the couple figured they would be naming their baby based on this focus group. But now that some of the members have disagreed with some of the names the couple liked, they feel like they need to get their friends' opinions. Holy shit people.

Now Rosie has to put together a dinner party with their friends to go over the three names that the focus group comes up with. I hope they are paying her a lot.

I'm annoyed with them but not as much as the first couple.

The top three names from the focus group: Miles, Holden, Asher. Since the friends don't seem to like these very much, Samantha throws out there that they still want to consider Bode, Bowen and Tucker - basically the ones that got the worst reaction from the focus group. And let's face it...they are the worst three.

Thankfully, none of their friends like Bowen.

Tucker reminds one friend of Tucks medicated pads and Samantha doesn't even know what those are.  She probably will know what they are after giving birth.

The consensus with the friends is that they like the name Asher. Why do I have a feeling that they are going to end up naming the baby Bowen or Tucker? UGH!!

Rosie is going to visit Samantha and Mitch after the baby is born. She will be finding out the name they chose.

Bowen Asher.

Asher is cute, in fact I know someone who named her son Asher and I love it. But Bowen? BOWEN? I keep thinking of Boeing, like a Boeing 747. Poor kid.

However, at least they chose a name they liked instead of letting random people choose it.

I don't know if I'll recap every single one of these episodes so I'm going to play it by ear. I absolutely love pregnancy and babies and I absolutely love making fun of people who are clueless, crazy or full of themselves - so it is fair to say I'll be at least watching it.