Survivor: Redemption Island "You Can't Stand the Truth" (from 4/27)

Back at camp after Tribal Council, Steve extends the olive branch to Phillip and explains that he's not a racist and he just thought he was crazy.

Phillip tells the camera (in interview) that he doesn't feel like it was "genuous". Making up words now, I guess.

Rob is smart - he says as long as Phillip keeps up with these antics, he's taking him with him to the finals - because who in their right mind would vote Phillip to win - unless he gets the sympathy vote and people think he could use a million dollars for some psychotherapy.

While it was funny that Julie hid Phillip's shorts...now we have to watch him walk around in his saggy-pinkies.  Lucky for Phillip (and us) his great great grandfather came to him in a vision last night and told him he was going to find his shorts.  Julie had mentioned that she buried them under a rock so Phillip started digging under movable rocks. He found them. He starts trying to quote Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men but fails both times. "You can't stand the truth. You can't take the truth."

Mike, Julie and Jesus are on Raw Sewage Island. Jesus is depressed. He's crying while talking to the camera and saying that god wants him to be there. I hope he gets a visit from this guy and he tells him to "GIVE UP and go home! No one wants to hear you talk about me day in and day out. You're on a TV game show - I have nothing to do with this."

Upon arrival at the duel Jesus says that he's ready to go home. He will try in the challenge but he'll be ok with going home.

The duel is like shuffleboard. Jesus looks like he's giving up. Mike gets his first two "pucks" in the endzone so he's winning. Jesus catches up. Julie only has one.

Jesus gets three pucks in the endzone first so he's staying.  Then Mike gets three.  Julie is going home but will be part of the jury.  She says that she came on Survivor because her house is in foreclosure.  Maybe some Phillip hater will donate some money to her.

She mentions that it's been 28 days without brushing your teeth. What luxury item did she bring? I would have though toothbrush and paste would be the most popular luxury item.  I suppose they aren't eating sugar or anything but still...the film that must be on their teeth gives me the shivers.

Grant and Rob discuss possibly getting rid of Andrea before Steve and Hairy Ralph because she could still be in cahoots with Jesus.  While Grant is talking in interview he's wearing some weird looking girly sandals. At least they are covering his scary feet but I still can't get the image out of my head. His dreads are awesome but they aren't enough to make up for that black toenail.

Challenge time. Forget what I said about not having sugar. The prize in today's challenge is chocolate cake.

Grant wins and he gets to invite two people to eat with him - because this cake is enormous. I actually want to throw up just looking at it. He picks Rob (expected) and Andrea (apparently to make her feel like she might not be going home). They only have two minutes to eat as much as they can so it is pretty nasty.

The tribe has a mystery package from Jeff. They can't open it until Tribal Council.

Hairy Ralph is talking to Steve and not only can Steve not understand him but we can't either. And they aren't using many subtitles for him.

Steve approached two of the girls and asked them to vote along with him and Ralph and get rid of Rob. Personally, I think they are stupid if they don't get rid of Rob right now. He can win immunities and he's smart.

Voting time. Ralph is voted out. No big surprise there. Him and his hairy back are headed to Raw Sewage Island.

Steve gets to now open up the "twist" package. They are going to compete in an immunity challenge right away and then immediately vote out another member. What are they going to do at the Tribal Council area? Play Duck, Duck, Goose? There isn't a lot of room there.

Ok it's just a memory game. Rob wins immunity but Steve was SO close!  Now right into the next vote. Of course, Steve is the one to go. If someone doesn't get rid of Rob soon they deserve to lose.

Pregnant In Heels (from 4/26)

Rosie's first client is Michelle. She's pregnant with her first child and is having religious issues with her husband.  She's catholic, her husband is Jewish.  I'm wondering why this didn't come up when they got married...or when they started dating.

Michelle is scared of a breast pump. She should be scared of pushing a baby out of her vag but to each their own.

They take a tour of the house. They have four strollers. FOUR. One is for "everyday NYC", one is an "Active" stroller and I'm not sure of the other two. Rosie tells her to fold up the strollers and Michelle has no clue.

Back to the issue at hand - religion. Michelle will NOT give in and the baby will be catholic.  She has gotten her way with everyone in her life so she's expecting to get her way this time as well.

Rosie and LT come back to the apartment to do some "shock therapy" regarding cleaning. They come in the house and put baby toys, dirty bottles and dirty clothes all over the place while Michelle's not home. She comes in and is shocked.

While Michelle is cleaning up, Rosie uses a little machine that has a baby cry so that she can get used to having to go and check on her while she's cleaning. She's doing this all in heels.

It's another day and I'm bored with this couple. Rosie brings a couples therapist in to discuss the issues with the religion.

Michelle thinks that because she's catholic, her daughter is catholic. Great...give no choice to your own child. It makes me crazy.

Michelle finally decides that she will compromise. They will baptize the baby and then afterwards they will have a "naming party".  Great we can move on now.

Later on (days, weeks?) she's in labor. Rosie ceremoniously rides with them to the hospital but then leaves and comes back the next day after the baby is born.



The second client is Mina Jaqueline Oh and she's due in less than a week. She has never even touched a baby. She's spoiled by her rich husband. This should be interesting.

They haven't taken any infant care courses but they're hiring a nanny so I guess she thinks she doesn't need to know how to care for her child.  They are hiring a nanny even though Mina does NOT WORK.

Mommy IQ test: FAIL. This woman has not read a THING about pregnancy or babies. I want to strangle her.  She's SHOCKED that Rosie is making her change a diaper on a doll. She doesn't want to touch the baby's penis because "he's dirty."  OH MY GOD. I can feel my blood boiling already.

There is a room that is a combination of the baby's room and Mina's office. But Mina doesn't work so it is unclear of what she does in there.

She has no idea about the suffocation risk with bumpers and that the baby can't have blankets in the crib. She thinks that in the hospital the nurses will take care of the baby and she can just sleep for five days. I think Rosie is going to shit on the floor.

It's another day and Rosie has arrived 3 days before Mina's scheduled c-section. She wants to check to be sure that the home is baby proofed and the baby room is ready. Nothing is done in the office/nursery.

The changing table pad is still not secured to the changing table. Mina had said before that a "guy" comes in and does all this stuff for her. Apparently using a hammer is too much work for her, she's never held a hammer before.  Rosie is appalled. Mina tells her "Why don't you do this for me, that's why I had you here" and walks out of the room.

What a spoiled piece of shit brat. I hate this woman!  Rosie is pissed!

We also find out that Mina has chosen to have a c-section so she knows when the baby is coming. I'm pretty sure it is also because she doesn't want to have to go through labor and there's no way she can pass the buck on that one.

Mina thinks that the nanny will be doing the "dirty work" and she will just be dressing the baby up. She doesn't think she will change diapers.

Rosie brings in a REAL live 3 month old baby. She has no idea how to hold him. She says her arms can't hold him because he's heavy and she'll need to go to the gym.  I'm SCARED for this child and so mad at this woman.

Mina says that she doesn't have a diaper pail and asks if they need one.

Rosie visits after Tyler is born and she still looks strange holding the baby but at least the nanny isn't there during the visit.

16 & Pregnant: Jennifer & I Hate Josh (from 4/26)

Jennifer has a goofy looking boyfriend, Josh.

She's pregnant with twins and is upset that she may not have a baby shower. Her parents don't think she should have one.

Jennifer is pregnant because Josh finds it awkward to go and buy condoms. Seriously. That's his excuse. It's a little less awkward than watching two babies come out of your girlfriend's uterus. He should have thought of that.

They are naming the twins Noah and Joshua Jr. How can they do that? Won't Joshua Jr. always feel like the favorite because he was named after his father? Or maybe he'll feel like Noah stands out because he gets to have a different name? I don't like it.

Jennifer's parents don't want her to give the boys Joshua's last name because according to her father, that will give Josh more "jurisdiction" when it comes to them. Sure. So if they have to go to court to fight for custody the judge is going to say "Well...Josh gets them because they have the same last name as him."

Josh tells Jennifer that she's going to have to make a choice between him or her parents. Great job Josh.


Jennifer and her parents are on the porch having popsicles together.

Her dad wants to tell a riddle.

Dad: "Why did the dog sweat?"

Jennifer: "Because it had fur."

Dad: "Because it was a hot dog."

The fillers. Maybe they should just make the episode a half hour if they need to fill up space with this shit. I'm pissed at myself for even repeating it in this recap.


The ultrasound tech makes Jennifer feel worse about not having a shower. Josh's parents decide that they are going to throw a baby shower.  Jennifer's parents are probably not going to go because her dad thinks there will be a brawl if they do. Woo hoo!  That would liven up a boring baby shower. And trust me, this one looks like it needs some livening up.

Jennifer texts her mother to tell her how fun it is. She still calls her "mommy".

Evidently the shower was held at a location with no parking lot because Josh and Jennifer are driving through a field when they leave.

It is the first day of Jennifer's SOPHOMORE YEAR. Is she even 16 yet?  Holy shit. Sophomore year I was not having sex. I was more concerned with what I was going to wear to the football game on Friday night or which friend could sleep over.

And how old is Josh, did they say? He has his license so I think he's like a pedophile. 

He and Jennifer are out to dinner for their one year anniversary. Just a few days ago Jennifer was laughing at the thought of being engaged to Josh. So imagine the horror when he gets a plate sent over with another plate on top and inside is a ring.

He makes her stand up, gets on one knee and proposes.

She says "Of course I will." Great plan.

Josh waits in the car while Jennifer tells her mother - who just about shits the couch. She wants to talk to Josh so he comes in and she asks him to walk her through it. He just thought it was the right time. Yup. I guess he wasn't embarrassed to buy an engagement ring for a little girl but condoms - NO WAY!

Jennifer's mom is terrified to tell her husband the news. She doesn't say this but I can see it in her face. He's going to be PISSED! She says that she also cannot say congratulations to them. Was this really a surprise to Jennifer & Joshua?

Jennifer's dad confronts her in the morning. He says that Jennifer is 16 so I guess she's just an old sophomore.  He didn't freak out like I expected.

One of the reasons Jennifer said yes to Josh was that when she left the hospital with her twins she didn't want to say "He's my boyfriend" or "He's my baby daddy." Awesome reasons to get engaged. Awesome.

I'm bored. She needs to have the babies NOW.

Ok good. C-section time. Jennifer says that she saw Josh cut the cord - I thought that the dads couldn't cut the cord during a c-section? I had a vaginal birth so I have no idea.

Jennifer decides that the babies will have Josh's last name.

I just realized that Jennifer's mom's name is Jenny. WTF?

I hate Josh. While Jennifer is on the phone with her mother discussing Josh coming to their house when they leave the hospital, he's basically talking back to her (because Jenny's on speaker for the show). He needs to shut is ugly mouth.

Josh yells that they are HIS kids, not hers. I wonder who is paying for everything, they haven't talked about this yet.

They end up allowing Josh to come home with them. Jennifer cries the entire way home and can barely make it up the walkway to her house. How is she going to care for twins?

Of course, everyone stops by to be on tv see the babies on the first day home. I want to punch everyone in the head.

Josh heads to Dairy Queen in his hubcapless car to bitch about the situation to his friend. The next day he tells Jennifer that he won't come home while her parents are there. Smart. GREAT fiance she's got there. He also wears mom jeans. Gross.

Of course Jennifer decides that it is ok to bring the babies to Josh's house. While he's driving them, Jenny calls and Josh starts complaining. "Hang up please." "How disrespectful." He is so irritating.

When she gets off the phone he starts basically making fun of her that she still relies on her parents. HELLO? SHE'S 16 YEARS OLD! She's SUPPOSED to rely on her parents. Also, doesn't he live at home and rely on his parents???? I really want to punch him in his ugly face.

They argue and she says "Take me home". Josh's reply "Stupid ass bitch."

For some reason Jennifer keeps saying "Excuse you? Excuse you?"  The term is "excuse me."

He gets mad so he starts speeding. Yes, with the twins in the car. Then he starts putting his hand in Jennifer's face saying "Shut your mouth." He thinks he's going to drop her off and take the twins with him.  Didn't we all see this coming from the beginning?

He then pulls over on the side of the road in the rain and tells her to get out. She doesn't even have time to shut the door and he takes off...with the babies in the car.  This is not going to turn out well.

Josh comes back for some reason and she goes to try to get the babies out of the car - he manhandles her.

She calls the police. Josh takes the babies out of his car and places them on the side of the road.

Jenny shows up to save the day and Josh says "What are you looking at?" and then calls her a stupid bitch.  I'm so angry right now.

Luckily the police arrive and arrest Josh.

He's only in jail overnight and Jennifer is not pressing charges. At least she isn't answering his calls.  If she is with him during the wrap up special with Dr. Drew at the end of this season, I won't be surprised.

This was the saddest episode of 16 & Pregnant for me.

A lesson for anyone watching: Don't sleep with anyone who is embarrassed to buy condoms. It will NOT turn out well.  Also, when you still call your mother "mommy", you're too young to be having sex.

The Real Housewives of OC: Jesus Wants Me to Make Couture Dresses (from 4/24)

(My friend Cate suggested the title so the credit goes to her for that! Perfect!)

If Gretchen says Tubba Wubba in the first segment I'm going to stop watching this show forever.

Slade Slimey is taking Gretchen to a surprise location for her birthday.

Gretchen reminds him that he's not making any money and she's basically supporting him. Apparently he paints...like paintings and Gretchen thinks he should sell them so that he's bringing SOMETHING in for income.

She really knows how to kick her men in the balls. Not that I don't think Slade deserves it but come on...break up with him if you agree that he's a loser.

Slade takes Gretchen to his friend's art studio where they are eating a gourmet meal take-out from styrofoam containers. At least he remembered the dressing.

He says that they are going to create something together after they eat. He hands her a present wrapped up and she says "What did you get me?" Total side note: I HATE when people do this. Someone hands them a wrapped present and they have every intention of you opening it RIGHT THEN...and they ask "what is it???" Open the fucking thing and you'll find out.

Slade bought her white painter's paints.

The thing is, this gift would be a cute and fun for most people. Obviously Gretchen wants something that she needs to insure so she's not grateful.

However, another surprise is that Slade's painter friend has painted a portrait of Gretchen. She's happy about that gift. She probably thinks she can sell it because of her Real Housewives fame.

When it comes time for Slade to bring the painting home, Gretchen is annoyed with it. He's carrying it in and she says "Really?? Where are we going to put this?" Slade wants to hang it in the bathroom. GREAT spot!



Alexis is over at Vicki's house for some wine to make amends. Alexis says she wants to do what Jesus would do. I didn't realize he got plastic surgery and "designed" dresses.

Speaking of the dresses, Alexis tells Vicki how she's starting her own dress line and she's designing. Vicki is questioning the whole thing, of course. You can't just wake up one day and say "I'm going to design couture clothing."  Even the woman she's working with isn't a designer - she did hair and makeup. This sounds promising.

Vicki points out that Alexis is young (because Alexis was saying "I'm not stupid under all this."). Alexis says "Well, I have a 48 year old husband with lots of life experience."

Cut to Vicki in interview...making the "jerk off" motion. Suddenly I love Vicki. That won't last.

Peggy, her boobs and Micah go to a restaurant (Border Grille) where they want to hire the owner/chef for a dinner party. They were surprised that the specialty was Mexican food. Apparently the word "border" was lost on them.

They completely insult the chef by saying they would like to lean more to a steakhouse type cuisine because Mexican would be good if they had like a pool party or something.

Peggy laughs but then pretends to be frowning. Pretentious snobs.

Then they try all this food that looks delicious but Micah basically hates everything. Why did they choose this restaurant? I hate Micah right now.



Vicki's daughter Briana is going to Vegas for vacation and she's telling her about how she should never leave her drink alone and be careful.  Uncle Bill got "roofied" in Vegas. He was drinking with some lady and the next thing he knew he woke up nude. Why did Uncle Bill tell this story to the family?

When Briana arrives in Vegas she must call Vicki immediately to check in. Vicki wants her to text her when she gets in that night. This girl is 23 years old...not 16. For some reason the cameras are with Briana in Vegas. Not that I don't like Briana...she's probably the most sane and normal person on this show but this seems like quite a filler.

While smoking (hookah) two lesbians come over and act as though Briana and her friend are getting baked. One even says "You just got a really huge hit!" ?????

Tamra, Peggy and Peggy's boobs are going to walk in a fashion show.  They go to the designer's place to try things on.  Tamra looks weird, short and dowdy in her outfit. Peggy and her boobs come out in a dress and the designer is not happy that her boobs are going to beat the rest of Peggy's body to the end of the runway because they are so enormous.

Suddenly Jeana walks in looking really stoned. Tamra looks like she's going to poop her pants. She doesn't say hi to her. I guess Jeana is friends with Simon. Jeana feels bad for Simon. As much as I hate Tamra I do NOT feel bad for Simon.

Jeana is giving Tamra the third degree about her new boyfriend, Ugly-Maybe-Gay-Eddie. I think that's what it says on his driver's license.



Alexis thinks that because she gets compliments on her clothes that she should just "launch a successful dress line".  Jumping the gun there with the "successful" comment.

She's meeting with her dressmaker to go over what they have.  She explains to us (the viewers) what "couture" means.

"Couture is.....a term put on a design...a dress.....if its um....I guess....super....rich."

Ummm...no.

cou·ture  (k-tr, -tür)

n.

1. The business of designing, making, and selling highly fashionable, usually custom-made clothing for women.

2. Dressmakers and fashion designers considered as a group.

3. The high-fashion clothing created by designers.

The second dress that Alexis tries on is hideous. It has wings, basically. Alexis goes to get scissors and just starts CUTTING this dress that her partner slaved over. She cuts a sleeve off. The woman is horrified.

Peggy and some subdued boobs go to the place where the fashion show will be held. Tamra doesn't show up for practice. Peggy is going to host the fashion show. I'm not sure if her boobs have a part in that. We'll see.

It is time for the show and Tamra is freaking out. She doesn't think she can walk in the fashion show because there are so many people out there.  She was nervous to practice walk in the store so I don't know why she thought she could do this.

Peggy's boobs do not have a speaking part for the hosting.

Peggy walks the runway and for some reason one arm comes up like she's a pimp.

When Tamra walks out she does some duck lips and throws up a peace sign. Class...all class.

They go out to sit with Micah and Ugly Eddie.



Fernanda is at her gym and Lynn, the ex-OC Real Housewife is there working out. Tamra was supposed to go but she cancelled at the last minute. This leads Fernanda to tell Lynn about how she and Tamra kissed at Tamra's birthday party last year. Fernanda's ex-girlfriend owns the gym with her and she's finding out about this kiss now (it happened when they were together AND when Tamra was married to Simon).

BORING.

I have been waiting ALL episode for Tamra to throw a piece of paper or a napkin in Jeana's face...I thought that was this week? Am I crazy? I did bump my head today pretty hard but I didn't think it affected my reality TV section of the brain.

***NEED YOUR HELP IN PRIORITIZING***

Life has gotten in the way of blogging lately. I need your help to prioritize my recaps this week.

I will be doing the Real Housewives of the OC FIRST, that's for sure...but after that - I'm behind a little and there are two shows on tonight.

PLEASE tell me what order you would like me to recap these in...which ones are you looking forward to reading the most.

You can just give me the numbers in order in a comment below.

1. The Bad Girls Club from LAST week 4/18
2. Mob Wives from 4/24
3. Bethenny Ever After from 4/25
4. The Bad Girls Club from 4/25
5. 16 & Pregnant (its on tonight)
6. Pregnant in Heels (its on tonight)
7. Survivor (on tomorrow)
8. The Real Housewives of NYC (on Thursday)

Basically - help me catch up by telling me what you want to see first.

Also - I would like to know which shows you would like me to recap the NIGHT they are on. I always did this for Teen Mom and Jersey Shore since those are definitely my most popular. But since those seasons ended - please tell me which ones you want to read right away.

YOU can make a difference so COMMENT!! Either here or on the FB fan page
https://www.facebook.com/Aimless.Small.Potatoes.Page

And for all of your help, here is my thank you.