Bad Girls Club (from 4/11)

This show is becoming quite difficult to recap. The girls are more annoying than ANY other season in the past. But...I'm not giving up yet.

We ended last episode with Ugly Wilmarie and Nikki fighting in the limo so this is where the episode begins. Blurred out crotch shots of Nikki, Wilmarie trying to bite. Gross, I would NOT want to be bitten by Wilmarie.

Lauren does the "clap talking" even when she's not yelling. She's clapping with each of these words while she talks to Nikki "If you need my help..." It's like she's trying to count how many words she's saying...can't go over the limit.

Nikki gets sent to the hotel for the night to "cool off".  She calls her dad in the morning and thinks that none of the girls are on Wilmarie's side and that Lauren will never turn on her. Sounds like Oxygen put this conversation on the show to show how wrong she is later on.

The girls go for a hollywood bus ride and Jessica screams BAD GIRLS CLUB from the top of the bus and flashes everyone. They are going on a Mexican bar crawl.

Upon returning to the house the girls find out that they are going on a trip to Mexico. Prior to the trip Nikki and Lauren seem to be disagreeing. We know where this is going.

Smarty pants Char is explaining the hotel they are staying at and she says "It's white. It's Christine." Ummm...no, fucking idiot. She means "pristine." I hate her.

At dinner, Nikki is trying to have a conversation with Char about the first time they met. Char ignores her. She doesn't know when Nikki decided it was okay to speak to her.

Nikki and Lauren leave before dessert to go out drinking.

Char and Wilmarie go out dancing at a club that makes me almost have a seizure. Every guy that is dancing with Wilmarie is gay. I think they might think she's a man.

Jessica and Kori head to Senor Frogs (where Nikki and Lauren are) to get wasted. Kori lets some random guy lick whipped cream off her boobies. Again, her mom must be so proud.

Nikki runs into a friend of hers and is just talking talking talking talking...Lauren can't get a word in. As much as Lauren annoys the shit out of me, I am SUPER annoyed with Nikki right now too.

Lauren goes to the hotel early. She and Kori hang out on a trampoline at the beach. The beginning of the end of Nikki and Lauren's BFFness.

The next morning Nikki and Char are both sleeping in so the rest of the girls are hanging out on the beach. When Nikki and Char finally get up the rest of them head back to the hotel to get ready. Nikki keeps trying to have a conversation with Char. They say that Kori and Lauren are both followers.

Now suddenly Char and Nikki respect each other.  Ugh. Char goes up to the room and Nikki follows a little while later. She thinks she's being funny by having a guy wheel her in on a cart saying "room service". She needs to learn about what comedy means.

Kori thinks she can read people because she is a licensed massage therapist. ????

In the van on the way to dinner and the club Nikki is sitting in the way back and she's mumbling about everyone - calling people followers, who is young, who is old, boring, etc. Then she spits water on Lauren's back. 

Nikki is trying to poke Lauren in the face with one of those long balloons that people form into animals. She is seriously the most annoying person.  She leaves and goes outside by herself so of course everyone talks about her while she's gone. I love how they all say that they don't hide how they feel and they tell people what they think to their face but I really haven't seen any of that in this episode.

When Nikki heads back into the club, the girls are dancing and she's kind of on the outskirts and below them a bit and looks like an idiot because she's still dancing.

Back at the hotel Nikki walks way behind the rest of the pack like a lost little duckling.

Finally Lauren confronts Nikki the next day out at the pool. Of course Nikki covers her face up with a big sombrero. It was a lame argument and Oxygen decides to play clips of their "friendship" as if we're sad about this separation.

The girls are back at home and Nikki goes out alone. She makes out with some random guy and she comes home super drunk.

She walks into the house yelling "replacement" at Wilmarie. She then throws Wilmarie's bedding over the inside balcony into the lobby. Wilmarie keeps telling Nikki to punch her. She slaps her instead. Then Wilamarie grabs her hair and starts fighting with her.  This is where my DVD cut off but I'm sure they don't show the rest of the fight, they always do this.

I don't know how many episodes are left this season but I hope not too many more. These girls are getting on my LAST nerve.

Pregnant In Heels: Weird Awkwardness (from 4/13)

Rosie's strange looking assistant is asking to get out early for some kind of fashion posing thing. I'm confused and distracted by his hair.

I have to say I don't like Rosie's accent.

Today her first client is Tanya. She mentions that they live in a multi-million dollar apartment and has expensive taste. Ok braggart alert!

She's also vain because she is horrified by her pictures when she had her daughter so she wants Rosie to help her be "camera ready" for when the baby is born. NO ONE IS LOOKING AT YOU BITCH. LOL.

Most people look terrible after having their baby. I was sweaty, exhausted, swollen, fat...you name it. But I was holding the love of my life in my arms. I didn't care what I looked like. Here I am.

Back to the show...the mommy IQ test and the walk-through of the house is next. There aren't locks on the cabinets that are low to the ground with lots of glasses in them. Not exactly safe.

Tanya is two weeks away from her due date and she's worried about her makeup and having a baby shower (which I think is tacky for a second baby, especially when you're rich and can afford your own baby stuff).

She wants a gay assistant. To plan a pre-baby bash? Is that the shower? Or another party.

Anyway, they are interviewing for the assistant position and the first guy who has a bit of a lisp says his idea for the party would be like a circus.

They ask him to describe more and he says "kind of like...ducks."

Rosie's face here shows the confusion we all have with this response.

He then elaborates. "Like ducks, fish, turtle. Kind of like a petting zoo...but not really."  What kind of circus is this? And what kind of petting zoo would have ducks, fish and turtles? And why is it kind of like a petting zoo, but not really? Because those animals aren't "pet-able"? Or they will be fake like stuffed fish and turtles hanging from the ceiling?

The second guy is ok with picking up nursing bras and breast pumps because he's picked out people's vibrators before. Moving on...

This is a man.

Rosie asks if he has any entertaining skills and he starts singing a jazzed out version of the ABC's. It is quite awkward.  Then he does some runway walking with some vogueing.

The last interview, Dan blows them away. So she has her gay assistant, complete with the nerdy eyeglasses and pegged jeans.

She's very high maintenance and needs to pick out a perfect cocktail type dress for the party so she's running Rosie's assistants ragged.

Dan runs around the city wearing blue pants and suspenders. Tanya keeps calling him every 30 minutes to check to see where he is with everything. If she has time to call him, she has time to call some places to get some of the things she needs done. I don't like her. I do like her more than the mom last week who called her baby a life sucking parasite.

It is the day of he party and and there is no entertainment.

One thing that is annoying me is when someone new is on the screen, the TV show puts the person's name and who they are in the little box. But BRAVO keeps advertising for other TV shows and it covers up the name. HELLO?

Rosie calls in her assistant to be the entertainment. Ok this is what he does. Flock of Seagulls hair, sequined tops, singing and dancing. The dancing looks more like cheerleading.

Tanya gave birth and had a boy. Rosie comes with a dress, a hairstylist and a makeup artist.  Thankfully, it isn't as bad as I thought and it isn't like moments after she gives birth that she needs her makeover for photos. But still...a little vain.



Ali is the next client. Her belly is enormous so she must be close to the end. She isn't doing so bad with the baby poop IQ test.  Her issue for which she needs Rosie is that their sex life has taken a dive since she got pregnant. Of course, that is normal - there are those people who do it MORE when they are pregnant but I think most lose interest. Anyone who has been pregnant knows how uncomfortable you can be with a giant baby belly and all of the other things that come along with it.  I assume MOST people don't call on a Pregnancy Concierge for this issue. How about asking your OBGYN or midwife? Weirdos!

What is also weird is that they have a camera set up in their room so Rosie can see how they interact.

Rosie brings in a professional sex therapist to speak with them. She wants them to get rid of the TV from the bedroom. Who can fall asleep without watching TV?

The therapist asks Ali's husband how often he's masturbating and he doesn't want to answer that question (of course he doesn't - he's on TV how embarrassing is that?!) Rosie tells the camera that "for somebody who misses sex that much, Adam sure gets awkward discussing it." No I think he's awkward discussing playing with himself on television.

For some reason this sex therapist has a handy little bag of dildos.

This makes everyone feel uncomfortable.  Well me and the couple are uncomfortable. Rosie and the sex therapist think this is a totally appropriate conversation.

This is ridiculous. This guy can't wait until a month or so after having the baby to have sex? They are going through all of this so they can work on doing it for what...a couple more weeks? Dude - just let her relax for fuck's sake.

On another day, Rosie takes Adam to a driving range to discuss the sex because he'll feel more comfortable talking about it in a "manly" place. No offense to any golfers (my husband golfs) but golf doesn't scream manly to me. An ice hockey rink? Yes. Some nice lawn with nerdy clothes and tapping balls? No.

He says that he thinks Ali should FORCE HERSELF to have sex with him. I wish Rosie would whack him in the nuts with that golf club.

She decides to give Adam one of those pregnancy suits to wear so he can see what his wife feels like. He seems to be understanding that sex is the furthest thing from her mind right now.

Rosie sends Ali and Adam on a "babymoon" to a nice hotel.  They are very awkward. I am sure it is because the camera but it they are making me uncomfortable.

A week later Ali is having contractions so instead of a doula, midwife or a doctor...they call Rosie! She rushes over and they head to the hospital in a cab. I think Ali may have learned hypnobirthing because she is as calm as hell. Once they get to the hospital, Rosie takes off. So...she rushed over to their place to ride in the cab with them to the hospital.  Again. Weirdos.

Bethenny Ever After (from 4/11)

I totally forgot that I was mad at Bethenny for her reaction to her party last week. Hopefully she redeems herself tonight.

Ugh...the fucking skating. Boring. There is some kind of move called a "Death Spiral".  It didn't look deadly but who am I to talk...I can't even STAND on ice.

She's actually a lot better than I expected her to be.

B is very excited that today is the day that Jason gets new jeans. Jason didn't see any problem with his jeans until he sees the jeans she's picking out. He thinks he's been wearing like a burlap sack for all these years.

$245 for jeans???? Holy shit. I think paying $60 for jeans is too much. The first pair he tries on are definitely too tight. Aimless Small Potatoes does not approve of tight jeans on a man. Nope.

I guess they closed the store for B & Jason because a shot at the window shows a bunch of vulture paparazzi taking pictures.

Despite B's annoyance at Jason's family, she decides to have Thanksgiving dinner at their apartment.  Their table isn't big enough and Jason suggests they put a folding table next to the big one. B thinks that's tacky. LOL. I think every family event I've ever been to has had a folding table or two.

Both Julie and Gina suggest a folding table as well so I'm glad I'm not alone in my tackiness. Gina even suggests renting one. I wouldn't go that far.

The next big ordeal is trying to carry the gigantic glass table top out into the hallway. Luckily, some guy rings the doorbell and helps him.

While getting ready to go to Montreal to visit the Skinny Girl Margarita bottling plant, Julia checks her Google Alerts and finds something about B's mom bad mouthing her. Her mom thinks she's on Skating with the Stars for another reason than fun.

B and Jason get in the tub with Bryn to give her a bath. Bryn clutches B like she never wants to let go and I know that exact feeling when my son holds onto me. It really is the best feeling.

They are taking a private plane to Montreal and Jason is pumped. He wants to become a member of the Mile High Club...and it sounds like B is already a member.  I could never, ever do that. With my luck, while getting my "membership" I just know the plane would go down and I would survive but be naked from the waist down on a deserted island. All set.

They are walking around Montreal and it looks nothing like I remember it when I went in 1997. However, I was drunk most of the time and really didn't see it during the daytime.

They head to the bottling plant and have to wear plastic half-crocs, crossing guard vests, safety glasses and hair nets. I feel like we're watching the episode of Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers when they go to the crayon factory and show us how they are made. I LOVED those episodes.

I love that they do the Laverne & Shirley poses.

All-in-all a boring episode. Next week it looks like B is pissed at Julie for something. That looks interesting.

Of course now I have the theme song to Laverne & Shirley in my head.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.
We're gonna do it!

Give us any chance, we'll take it.
Give us any rule, we'll break it.
We're gonna make our dreams come true.
Doin' it our way.

Nothin's gonna turn us back now,
Straight ahead and on the track now.
We're gonna make our dreams come true,
Doin' it our way.

There is nothing we won't try,
Never heard the word impossible.
This time there's no stopping us.
We're gonna do it.

On your mark, get set, and go now,
Got a dream and we just know now,
We're gonna make our dream come true.

And we'll do it our way, yes our way.
Make all our dreams come true,
And do it our way, yes our way,
Make all our dreams come true
For me and you.



Survivor: Redemption Island (from 4/13)

Matt is on Raw Sewage Island talking to his god again. Not sure why he isn't pissed at him for getting him sent back to this place AGAIN, but I don't pretend to understand this kind of thing.

Back at the camp, David is comparing Rob to a mobster because of the move from last week voting Matt out again.

Hairy Ralph is already trying to get in with the girls from Rob's alliance. He tells Ashley that he will vote for her to win over Rob at the end. Natalie is there so she hears this.

Rob is keeping the "us versus them" mentality and wants the tribes to hate each other but he's going to try to play nice so he gets their votes at the end. I really can't see how Rob is going to win. Why would someone let him get to the end with them? He already played this game!

Natalie told Rob what Ralph said to Ashley and that Ashley didn't want to tell him about it. Sounds like Rob is a little pissed about that and will be working on getting rid of Ashley after he gets rid of the other tribe. I don't know. This whole first part of the recap is too convoluted and he said, she said stuff.

Ok here we go. Crazy Phillip is wearing a dirty feather on his head at the immunity challenge.

When Jeff asks him if he collided with a bird, Phillip said that while meditating he asked for a sign and this feather came out of "thin air". He knows that it will bring luck to his alliance (the former Omitepe tribe).

The challenge involves digging, spitting and puzzles. Woo hoo! There are three rounds.

Everyone looks like my dog when he's trying to find a bone he buried last spring.

The first six to make it to the spitting round are Grant, Rob, Ralph, Mike, David and Julie.

These six have to suck water into their mouths, crawl under the trough of water and spit it out in their tube.  Julie is basically just spitting spit into hers, not water. She sucks.

Grant, Mike and David are in the final round with the puzzle.

Grant wins immunity. I love his dreads and his smile but last week's shot of his feet were so gross it ruined everything.

On the way back to camp Mike notices that the tribe flag has been moved so they think maybe there is a hidden immunity idol under it. They start digging but as soon as Rob and Phillip see them doing so, they run over to join in. Mike and David watch as the two dig for what is actually nothing.

Rob has some idol paranoia and pulls his alliance in to discuss who their vote will be for tonight.

Suddenly it looks like maybe Grant got his wisdom teeth pulled or something. I'm not sure why he's wrapped his head up with a buff. I can't believe I just called it a buff. It's a fucking bandana!

At tribal council, Super Secret Agent Phillip is still wearing his feather. Jeff teases him by saying that he knew one of his alliance members was going to win immunity prior to the challenge. Of course Phillip doesn't see this as a tease and answers seriously.  He says his great great grandfather who was a full blooded Cherokee came to him in a meditation and told him that was going to happen. He also said that his group will live long in Survivor lore.

The "others" say that they believe Phillip is on the bottom of the alliance. We find out that Phillip enjoys being a bottom...or...on the bottom because he can look up and see what is going on.

When Ralph says that if he's here tomorrow, he's going to keep pushing and trying and who knows, maybe he'll find a feather.

Phillip sounds pissed and says "It takes COURAGE and determination and to know when to hold your tongue to get a feather."

Ralph: "Oh."

Jeff ask Mike what he thinks of the feather and he says he thinks it is an insecurity thing and that he's struggling to find himself and doesn't really know who he is.

Phillip interrupts: "You're right. I got a college degree, became a special agent, working for three separate agencies. I served the United States army and had the second highest medal they give during peace time."

David: "Just give it up, you sound like a lunatic."  FINALLY someone says it.

All of the former Zapatera tribe vote for Phillip of course. However, one of them spells it "Philite". Did someone think his name was pronounced Phil-lit?

Mike is who is being sent to Raw Sewage Island with Matt.

Back at the camp, Rob tells Phillip that he's not at the bottom, he's at the top with him.  And suddenly, everyone is preparing to rob a bank in their sleep.

The next day Ralph tries to talk to the alliance but they are having none of it.

Today's challenge involves hanging from a pole for 20 minutes with your arms and legs, and then hanging only by the legs.

They can choose to skip the challenge and eat cheeseburgers which is what Phillip and Steve do. Everyone else is fighting for the immunity necklace.

Rob falls first. Everyone else makes it to the next round where they are hanging with just their legs. Julie falls next. Grant and then Ralph next.  David is against three of Rob's girls.

This looks so painful. I have cramps in my legs just from having my laptop on it at night never mind hanging upside down from a bamboo stick.

David falls, then Ashley, Natalie and Andrea wins. 

Ralph finds the net on the shore full of dead fish. They cook and eat it but Rob tells his people that they shouldn't eat the fish because they are dead. Grant goes over to have a piece and Rob calls him back like his little bitch.

At tribal council Phillip rambles again and says that there is for the first time in 22 seasons, a highly effective and beauteous and glorious operation in effect right now."

Jeff: "Which is what?"

Phillip: "It's called STEALTH!"

Rob: "R"

Grant: "Us"

They have a little cheer. This is new. And lame.

Phillip explains: "I am known as the specialist. My principle responsibilities: infiltrate and subplant (?) inceptions into the former Zaparra...Zapotera tribe. We have here Boston Rob, the mineralist. Principle responsibilities to develop strategies for challenges and develop strategic alliances that are impervious. There's Grant. The destroyer of aspirations, better known as the Assassin. Principle responsibilities to go out and compete, destroying any competitor. And I forgot to mention the three degrees who are highly effective, formidable, agile and have supreme abilities to focus their mind like they did today."

Phillip also brings up the effective "buddy system" that Rob put into place. Basically, none of them are alone at any time so they aren't vulnerable to an approach from someone from the other alliance. Julie comments that Rob has complete control and that it is cult-like.

David is next to go. It sounds ridiculous because Jeff says "Tenth person voted OUT of Survivor: Redemption Island - David."  But he's not voted OUT of Redemption Island, he's voted TO Redemption Island.

Teen Mom Unseen Moments (from 4/12)

Leah's first unseen moment is all about math. It was back when her hair was 2/3 curly, 1/3 straight, 3/4 brown, 1/4 blonde. I wonder if she actually used those fractions when explaining to the hairdresser what she wanted done.

Her eyeliner is about 90% of what it came to be by the end of the season.

I don't really care what the actual scene was about because it doesn't matter.

In her next clip she asks her sister to be her maid of honor. Her sister says that she will need to get a tan because she's so white. Um...too bad that didn't work out. You got an orange instead. (The photo below is from the finale)

Leah and Corey are arguing about something that I feel like almost every mom and dad must fight about at some point. Leah says she's tired (because she gets up all night with the babies) and Corey says he is too (he slept in until 11am). She cries (because she can't help it) and he is annoyed by it. This sounds so familiar. Except I only have one baby and my husband doesn't need subtitles.  Well, and a lot of other things...like we're in our 30s and I don't wear magic marker for eyeliner.




Kailyn's clip shows her feeding Isaac some juice (shocker!) and Suzi has a strange bruise on her arm.

Suzi says "We opened our home to you."  Who is we?

Kailyn has a strange bruise on her arm, too! Are they getting abducted by aliens at night?

Holy shit she has an even bigger one!

They are arguing about her living there and Isaac starts crying. I think it is because he wants formula or breast milk and Kailyn is feeding him straight up apple juice.

Kailyn on a date with Jordan with Isaac along = AWKWARD and BORING.

Oh no, Jo is rapping. Oh no. I'm embarrassed. Maybe he thought he would get a record deal. I'm embarrassed. Oh no.

He's complaining to his brother about Kailyn and money.

In the scene after Kailyn picks up her things from Jo's house, Kailyn confronts Jo's father who is sitting in the garage. He says that all Kailyn does is cause aggravation. They are arguing with each other like he's a teenager too. Where is Janet??!




Chelsea and Adam take Aubree to adopt a pet. Yup, add more responsibility to your plate. GREAT idea.

They look at a giant cat and Aubree starts sneezing while the cat almost scratches her eyes out. 

Another scene, Chelsea is going to get her wisdom teeth out. Afterwards she has an ice pack around her entire head and with her hair in her eyes she looks like she is in costume as a ghost with a Zorro eye mask.

Adam won't kiss her because she has drool and crusty blood on her mouth.  She's taken out of the building in a wheelchair. Huh?

Adam heads into the pharmacy to pick up Chelsea's prescription and he doesn't know if she has insurance or not so he calls her (she's outside in the car). Chelsea can't speak because she's swollen and has gauze in her mouth. FINALLY she says she'll just text him.

In an effort to sound interested in Adam's hobby (cars) Chelsea takes Aubree, clad in a pink top and leopard pants (of course) out to the garage to see Adam's latest purchase. She asks questions but he is clearly annoyed.

He spent $500 for a car and plans to spend about $5k to $6k fixing it up (it doesn't have a motor). He plans to find the money "on the street".

In another scene Chelsea practically has to beg Adam to watch a movie with her. She lists off a bunch of movies they have so he can pick one and most of them are horrible.

She wants to watch The Notebook and he chooses Joe Dirt. She wants to hold his hand and he just steals the blanket from her. Ah, true love.  




Jenelle's first clip starts with her handing a bottle to Jace while saying "here"...like she's handing a buck to a homeless man.

She has a conversation with Jace's father, Andrew about signing temporary custody of Jace to Barbara. He thinks it is a good idea because Jenelle is irresponsible. She, of course, disagrees and says that she's changed and is a pretty good mom to Jace.

If it wasn't so sad that this child has Jenelle for a mother, the cameraman would probably be snickering behind the lens.

The next scene shows Jenelle's friend Amber coming to visit and buying her "Silly Bandz". I had to look them up. These are basically just like what we called "Jelly Bracelets" when I was a kid except Silly Bandz when not on the arm form a shape of an animal or something. They are for children. Not teen moms.

I am trying to figure out what Jenelle's wrist tattoo says. I took a photo of it upside down but I still can't tell what it is. Anyone?

EDIT: Thank you to one of my readers, Sarah for explaining - this says "Vahn" which is Jace's middle name. Good lookin' out!

They discuss Jenelle dating someone now that she's a mom (this was all pre-Reefer). She says that she wants to find someone who has goals and isn't some low-life that isn't doing shit with their life. Oh so THAT'S why she went out with Reefer...all of his goals and ambitions.

Jenelle and Reefer go to a food pantry since she can't afford groceries. The only meat they have available is pig's tail. People eat pig's tail?

I'm unsure as to how they allow the two of them to get all of this free food. There are cameras following them around and Jenelle is clutching her cell phone.  I'm actually PISSED off right now.

Barb and her boyfriend Mike are at the beach with Jace discussing how wonderful and quiet it is at home now that Jenelle doesn't live there. We find out that Barb was a "party girl" when she was younger. Woo hoo Barb!

A wave comes up and gets their stuff wet and Barb blames Mike for it. Guess it isn't just Jenelle she blames for everything.

Jenelle's piece of shit car is falling apart. Her tire pops as she's driving with Reefer and makes a loud noise. She pulls over and is scared that it just happened. She's upset and says "What am I supposed to do?" Reefer just says..."huh...ummm...".  She doesn't have a spare tire so she has to get it towed.

The two abandon the car while Reefer carries his ghetto looking skateboard. Ah, true love. I think that's how The Notebook ended too.

The Real Housewives of OC (from 4/10)

Vicki and the fam (plus the kids' friends) are headed out on a boat. She actually took a day off of work and everyone is drinking.

They see a guy sitting in what is basically a tube with a motor and he's fishing. Vicki doesn't understand how someone can do this. She doesn't have hobbies anymore. She just works. Fun.

She thinks Donn is being rude to her so she's all pissy. She starts to discuss insurance (one of the kids' friends works for her). Someone please throw her off the boat. At least everyone is getting drunk so they can block her out.

Vicki thinks that if she doesn't work so much that her home is going to go into foreclosure. Ok. I'm so sick of her talking about work and insurance and how her employees are like her family. Donn comes by to the office to pick up his dog Walter and Vicki is mean to him.  She's much nicer to her employees than her family.

Why can't they leave the dog at home? 


Ugly Eddie is picking up Tamra for her trip to Spain. She tells Eddie the story about how Alexis is upset that Tamra brought mase to the party. He couldn't be less interested. Shut up Tamra. Everyone hates you.

Once at their hotel they are making out on the balcony and as much as I HATE the overused term "I just threw up in my mouth a little bit"...I just threw up in my mout a little bit.

Eddie takes tons of photos in Spain and it is unfortunate that a year from now when he looks at them there will be this scary looking old lady with a lot of plastic surgery.

They are out to lunch and Tamra asks Ugly Eddie for the first time if he wants kids - because she has four of them and clearly doesn't want anymore.  However, she can see Eddie's brain going a mile a minute when he says "Are you telling me you don't want anymore kids?" She decides to "reel him in" by saying they would have beautiful children. Awesome.

They are sitting on a beach eating what looks like raw meat. Are we going to see some vomit Spain-style later on?

Alexis and Gretchen are hanging out in workout clothes but in full hair and makeup. No wonder Gretchen has such horrible skin, you shouldn't workout in makeup...all those pores opening up and your makeup just seeping into them? Gross.

They are discussing the bedazzled evil eye hat and the mase and they keep referring to them as jokes. Jokes are funny. Those were not jokes. They are lame. They need to watch some Chris Rock stand up or Tosh.0.



Gretchen is still planning the vow renewals for her parents. I hope this event happens this episode because I'm sick of hearing about it. Obviously Gretchen didn't really have any storylines this season so it is all about the party.

Slade needs to also watch some comedy shows because he thinks buying tissue boxes and decorating them with the words "Happy 40th Crybabies" is hilarious for Gretchen's parents.

Oh good, the day is here. Gretchen rents a Mustang for her parents for the day.  They head to the church where they got married 40 years ago. Even though Gretchen's shorts are smaller than the underwear I have on right now, she does not burst into flames.

A limo is taking her parents to a secret location. It is their favorite winery and this is where they are rewnewing their vows. While mom gets ready, Slade Smarmy takes dad down to the dock to have a glass of wine. For some reason his hair is out of control. And why hasn't he shaved? He's so disgusting.

He brings up that he wants to be married and Gretchen's dad says that the "lease option" sounds good instead.

Gretchen's parents are cute renewing their vows. It is nice to see people actually in love on television. It is also nice to see that Gretchen doesn't seem to want to marry Slade Smarmy.



Peggy is going to get her boobs done again. It has been 19 years since she had her first implants. She also thinks that getting new implants is going to help her get through her post partum depression. Smart.

Post-surgery, Peggy looks a little bit like Zelda from the movie Pet Sematary. Too. Much. Vomit. In. My. Mouth.

Alexis goes to visit Zelda with some food because after getting boobs you can't cook or they might melt. Zelda shows her the new boobs and Alexis tells the camera in interview that she should have gone to HER plastic surgeon instead. Yikes. I don't want to know what is under that blouse.

Just in Case You Need To Be Reminded About Trashy Amber...

Click the link below to see the story.

After seeing this I'm still 100% sure that Jenelle is the WORST Teen Mom (MTV ones anyway) but this just reminds me that Amber isn't so far behind.




Every girl dreams that their mother tattoos their face on her belly and then poses nude!
I hope someone somewhere has started a fund for Leah's future therapy.


http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/02/exclusive-photos-teen-mom-star-amber-portwood-poses-nude-see-pics-radar