So we've made it to the end of another season. I can't believe it. Actually I can't believe that they are going to be filming in Italy. I'm frightened of that one.
So we leave off with Ronnie finding out from Arvin that he and Sammi have made out in the past. Ron runs outside to confront Sammi and she comes in to get on the phone with Arvin. She is still denying it and Arvin isn't backing down.
Mike is instigating it by saying Sammi is lying (which I agree with, she isn't a good liar) and then Ron ends up just hanging up the phone.
It is Sunday dinner time and it is awkward. Ronnie goes outside to smoke a butt and for some reason Sam follows him. Seriously? Oh my god. Stop talking to each other. Anyway, Sam admits that she hooked up with Arvin when she was 21 years old and now she's almost 24 so it was a long time ago. I'm not sure why she didn't just say this to begin with. If she did that back then it was before the first season of Jersey Shore so what's the big deal?
It is the next day and Ron, Snooki and Vinny are working. Well, not working. Ron is actually laying down on the shelf behind the counter.
Tonight is a BBQ with friends and family thrown by the Shore Store guy I think. Pauly D is DJing and Ronnie is doing his wooden puppet dancing. I'm so glad because I didn't think we'd get to see the puppet dancing again.
Deena's friend Lisa comes to the party and Vinny wants to flirt with her. Deena stops it because of Snooki. She ends up saying to Lisa right in front of Vinny that he just slept with some ugly chick and have slept with a ton of skanks. It is true but come on...if this Lisa doesn't know this about him she's a fucking moron.
Sam tells Ron that she is angry with Mike for getting into her business and she can't be ok with Ron if he's cool with Mike.
Everyone heads back to the shore house and Deena doesn't understand why Vinny is mad at her. He makes a comment that Deena is like Angelina - which to the Jersey Shore people is the WORST insult ever. Basically Deena is a cock block.
I hate Angelina and I think people who cock block are losers but I'm on Deena's side. That girl is her best friend, she was just warning her about Vinny's sexual history. Then again, the girl is an idiot if she wants to sleep with him anyway.
The next morning Mike apologizes to Sam. BORING.
The gang is going out to eat and it is a bit tense. Pauly D. tries to break the ice by asking how everyone's day was. Deena does a boring little toast.
It is the last night for partying so Snooki practices her cartwheel to make sure that people can't see her crotch. She bends over in front of the mirror to check it out and then shrugs.
They are at Karma for their last night. Roger and JWoww talk about what happens now...if they are going to be boyfriend/girlfriend after they leave the shore. It is kind of cute. Funny how from the outside, JWoww looks like a big slut but she's the one who is in a cute little relationship. Don't judge a girl by her tan boobies and lack of clothing!
Deena falls down again, the episode wouldn't be the same without that.
Snooki takes a guy home and makes him a grilled cheese. He is the guy that helped her with some bandaids when she fell before. He has really ugly hair. Especially in the night vision where it looks like a mushroom.
Sam is talking to some guy friends and she tries to call Ron over because she wants to hang out with her boyfriend. Huh? Did I miss something? They got back together? Of course Ron is jealous and upset so he walks away.
Everyone is walking home. Sam is slurring like crazy and is walking really slowly back to the house while Ron leaves her in the dust. In the house Ron goes up to bed and Sam follows. They start arguing in the bathroom and Ron says he's "done" for the 7 millionth time this season and then calls her a stubborn bitch and "fuck you". They are screaming at each other and Ron slams the door shut. Everyone in the house can hear them screaming at each other. What a great way to spend their last night in the house, listening to the most annoying couple in the world next to Heidi and Spencer yell loudly about the same shit they've been fighting about their entire relationship.
Ronnie is crying and he says he wants to go home and is "done". I thought they were already going home? They go to separate rooms. Vinny eats grilled cheese. Super exciting.
Why doesn't anyone have sheets on their bed?! I wonder if Mike ever found the cheese?
UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH Sam wants to talk to Ron again. I am SO GLAD this is the last episode and that there are only 10 minutes left. I cannot stand these two talking and talking and talking and talking and talking about the same shit. My mind has actually wandered and I'm not even paying attention anymore. There's even a boring song on in the background.
How disgusting must this house smell between the stinky vaginas, cheese, old food, puke, overflowing toilets and dogs shitting and pissing everywhere? Everyone must breathe a huge breath of fresh air when they walk out of the house.
This finale SUCKED. The end. I'm glad.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Survivor: Redemption Island: Spider & Armpit Hair (from 3/23)
Fuzzy spider in the dark in the opening scene. I'm watching this late so now I'm going to have nightmares. They make it look like the giant tarantula is right outside their little tent on Redemption Island.
Matt is wearing a cloth over his face so he looks like he's going to rob a bank with a nylon over his head.
Back at the purple camp, Steve asks Stephanie why she and Krista voted for him at tribal council. Steve was shocked because he was in the NFL for 14 years.
At the yellow tribe, Natalie and Ashley are having a little "spa day" which includes using scissors and fingernails to pull each other's armpit hair out. I really AM going ot have nightmares tonight.
The rest of the tribe is working around camp while this is going on.
Someone pointed out to me last week (I think it was Trish!) that when they show Phillip's occupation next to his name when he's talking to the camera, it says "Former Federal Agent?" with a question mark. I hadn't noticed it but I looked for it tonight and she was right! That is HILARIOUS CBS. I love it.
On Redemption Island, Krista gets her luxury item which is a bible in a hot pink cover. The two of them sit on the beach and pray which includes something like "We give this day to you and this duel to you lord and know that whatever the outcome is that it will bring honor to you..."
Ummm...seriously?? I think you'd be bringing more honor to your lord if you were out helping people that ACTUALLY SURVIVE out in the world without being able to do fun challenges for food and then possibly win a million dollars for "surviving".
Sorry - that just pisses me off. It is like when actors/actresses thank god during their Oscar speeches. Seriously you think that some kind of higher power has granted this special gift of playing make believe to make the world a better place? PUKE.
Sorry. Vent over.
Time for the duel. Andrea and Natalie, Julie and Mike attend this one. Krista seems to be in the lead the whole time but Matt is catching up. The end of this involves a little maze with a ball and a bunch of holes. Krista loses and Jeff tells her to drop her "buff" in the fire on the way out. I hate that he calls it a buff, have I mentioned that before?
Before leaving Krista gives Matt her hot pink bible. It matches his long hairstyle.
Another baby turtle on the beach at purple tribe!!!!!!!! YEAH!
Sarita says her tooth hurts because she cleaned it too much and some bacteria got in there. How she knows this, I have no idea. Some people are thinking she's being a drama queen and kind of trying to go home.
David now wants to get Stephanie in on his alliance with the rest of the purple tribe so he can send Sarita home. Last week Sarita pissed David off by saying something about him not doing well under pressure.
Back at yellow tribe (are they yellow or orange, what have I been saying all along?) Phillip announces that a storm is coming and they need to start gathering wood. No one makes any move to help. He is dictating to them so I don't blame them but then again, they don't do anything. They would really fit in well with Chelsea on Teen Mom.
Phillip is hunting the girls down to annoy them into helping. It isn't working.
Boston Rob is the smartest guy I've ever seen play this game. Not only does he know the girls won't do anything just because they are young girls and they don't want to, but he WANTS them to do nothing. If they started helping out that gives people more reason to want them to win the million dollars at the end. If they keep being lazy who is going to think they deserve it? I declare Boston Rob the winner. The end.
Back at purple tribe, Stephanie "apologizes" to Steve for writing his name down at the last tribal council. She starts playing the game a little bit and says she thinks Sarita is a weak link - obviously because David told her this. She might be a little smarter than I thought but then when I think about her idiotic outbursts at previous tribal councils I change my mind.
Time for the challenge. People are launching balls and catching balls. Balls. Sarita sits out of this one since purple has more members than yellow.
Jeff keeps using the name of the tribes when he needs to be saying purple and yellow. Grant is catching them all and he's on yellow. Rob catches one of the purple balls so yellow is winning 4 to 0.
My favorite guy Grant rips off his shirt because Mike on the other team kept tearing it off. Woo hoo Grant!!!!! Although, it isn't his body that I like - it is his hair. I LOVE HIS HAIR.
Yellow teams wins immunity and a reward that involves a picnic up on a hill with a statue of Jesus (I guess). Rob sees the immunity idol clue and Grant grabs it and puts it in his pocket. They walk off to look at the clue and Phillip sneaks up out of nowhere and says he saw it!
He says (to us...the camera) that he's been in an alliance with Rob and Grant. "In fact, I called ourselves 'Stealth' because I'm the specialist. Rob is the mentalist and Grant is the assasin." He's crazy I tell you...CRAZY.
I have a feeling that Sarita is going to be sent home tonight from the purple team. Stephanie is doing well with campaigning for herself. She makes a good point. They need to have strong members and Sarita clearly isn't strong. However, they trust Sarita much more than Stephanie.
More spiders at tribal council. If someone starts pulling out armpit hair again I'm not going to sleep tonight.
I change my mind, Stephanie looks WAY too confident which usually means the end. And sure enough, Stephanie gets voted out. The only ones who voted for Sarita were Stephanie and David. I can see him blowing a gasket about this.
Matt is wearing a cloth over his face so he looks like he's going to rob a bank with a nylon over his head.
Back at the purple camp, Steve asks Stephanie why she and Krista voted for him at tribal council. Steve was shocked because he was in the NFL for 14 years.
At the yellow tribe, Natalie and Ashley are having a little "spa day" which includes using scissors and fingernails to pull each other's armpit hair out. I really AM going ot have nightmares tonight.
The rest of the tribe is working around camp while this is going on.
Someone pointed out to me last week (I think it was Trish!) that when they show Phillip's occupation next to his name when he's talking to the camera, it says "Former Federal Agent?" with a question mark. I hadn't noticed it but I looked for it tonight and she was right! That is HILARIOUS CBS. I love it.
On Redemption Island, Krista gets her luxury item which is a bible in a hot pink cover. The two of them sit on the beach and pray which includes something like "We give this day to you and this duel to you lord and know that whatever the outcome is that it will bring honor to you..."
Ummm...seriously?? I think you'd be bringing more honor to your lord if you were out helping people that ACTUALLY SURVIVE out in the world without being able to do fun challenges for food and then possibly win a million dollars for "surviving".
Sorry - that just pisses me off. It is like when actors/actresses thank god during their Oscar speeches. Seriously you think that some kind of higher power has granted this special gift of playing make believe to make the world a better place? PUKE.
Sorry. Vent over.
Time for the duel. Andrea and Natalie, Julie and Mike attend this one. Krista seems to be in the lead the whole time but Matt is catching up. The end of this involves a little maze with a ball and a bunch of holes. Krista loses and Jeff tells her to drop her "buff" in the fire on the way out. I hate that he calls it a buff, have I mentioned that before?
Before leaving Krista gives Matt her hot pink bible. It matches his long hairstyle.
Another baby turtle on the beach at purple tribe!!!!!!!! YEAH!
Sarita says her tooth hurts because she cleaned it too much and some bacteria got in there. How she knows this, I have no idea. Some people are thinking she's being a drama queen and kind of trying to go home.
David now wants to get Stephanie in on his alliance with the rest of the purple tribe so he can send Sarita home. Last week Sarita pissed David off by saying something about him not doing well under pressure.
Back at yellow tribe (are they yellow or orange, what have I been saying all along?) Phillip announces that a storm is coming and they need to start gathering wood. No one makes any move to help. He is dictating to them so I don't blame them but then again, they don't do anything. They would really fit in well with Chelsea on Teen Mom.
Phillip is hunting the girls down to annoy them into helping. It isn't working.
Boston Rob is the smartest guy I've ever seen play this game. Not only does he know the girls won't do anything just because they are young girls and they don't want to, but he WANTS them to do nothing. If they started helping out that gives people more reason to want them to win the million dollars at the end. If they keep being lazy who is going to think they deserve it? I declare Boston Rob the winner. The end.
Back at purple tribe, Stephanie "apologizes" to Steve for writing his name down at the last tribal council. She starts playing the game a little bit and says she thinks Sarita is a weak link - obviously because David told her this. She might be a little smarter than I thought but then when I think about her idiotic outbursts at previous tribal councils I change my mind.
Time for the challenge. People are launching balls and catching balls. Balls. Sarita sits out of this one since purple has more members than yellow.
Jeff keeps using the name of the tribes when he needs to be saying purple and yellow. Grant is catching them all and he's on yellow. Rob catches one of the purple balls so yellow is winning 4 to 0.
My favorite guy Grant rips off his shirt because Mike on the other team kept tearing it off. Woo hoo Grant!!!!! Although, it isn't his body that I like - it is his hair. I LOVE HIS HAIR.
Yellow teams wins immunity and a reward that involves a picnic up on a hill with a statue of Jesus (I guess). Rob sees the immunity idol clue and Grant grabs it and puts it in his pocket. They walk off to look at the clue and Phillip sneaks up out of nowhere and says he saw it!
He says (to us...the camera) that he's been in an alliance with Rob and Grant. "In fact, I called ourselves 'Stealth' because I'm the specialist. Rob is the mentalist and Grant is the assasin." He's crazy I tell you...CRAZY.
I have a feeling that Sarita is going to be sent home tonight from the purple team. Stephanie is doing well with campaigning for herself. She makes a good point. They need to have strong members and Sarita clearly isn't strong. However, they trust Sarita much more than Stephanie.
More spiders at tribal council. If someone starts pulling out armpit hair again I'm not going to sleep tonight.
I change my mind, Stephanie looks WAY too confident which usually means the end. And sure enough, Stephanie gets voted out. The only ones who voted for Sarita were Stephanie and David. I can see him blowing a gasket about this.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Bethenny Ever After: Baptisms and Pandas (from 3/21)
B's baby nurse Gina keeps things like pig feet and chicken knuckles in the fridge. She's been in the bathroom forever so B calls out to her to ask what she's doing. Gina says "I have got to poop." Jason asks why it takes 20 to 30 minutes and it is because she needs to sit in there because B & Jason are too loud.
Bryn is going to get blessed (not baptized according to Gina) at Gina's church where there are red carpets and drums. There is a Marky Markowicz at the church and B asks who that is, is it the Jewish Marky Mark to which Gina replies Yes. LOL.
When Gina shows B what kind of dancing goes on there it looks like she's either having a slight seizure or she's been possessed. B doesn't want to go now because she doesn't want to dance involuntarily.
B has a woman come over to help with baby proofing the house. Do people honestly need help in doing this? Read a book or use some common sense, who hires a specialist to baby proof your house? I guess when you have shitloads of money you can pay for anything to be done so you don't have to do it.
They crawl all over the floor to find the hazards. The DVR is one of them because Bryn could start recording porn.
My favorite Bethenny line of the episode so far:
B: "I'm thinking I have a really nice and safe nurturing environment for my baby...and now all of the sudden I'm in 'nam."
Time for the ceremony at Gina's church. I thought they were actually walking into a bodega or a Chinese food restaurant but no, it is the church. B says it looks like a place one would get bail bonds from. I'm scared already.
I'm an atheist so religion scares me a bit to begin with but the only religion I know anything remotely about is Catholic...and I know the bare minimum. So all of this is foreign to me.
Everyone is dressed in very colorful clothing and the women have turbans on their head. Is that the right word? Headdress? B has to wear one that is orange with a little fringe. There are drums and I almost feel like I'm a Phish show.
All of the sudden one of the women says that Bryn is going to be baptized. Jason is freaking out a bit since he and his family are catholic. They thought they were just going there for her to get a blessing. Gina assures them that it is not a baptism as a man yanks Bryn out of B's hands.
That's it, I don't care who I would offend, no one would be grabbing my kid like that from me. I'm scared shitless right now. I feel like they are going to do some kind of Weekend at Bernie's 2 stuff.
NO OFFENSE to anyone who is Baptist or from Trinidad or has this kind of church...I'm just saying, what you don't know can scare you and I'm extremely protective over my son.
Bryn is getting passed around and then a woman is holding her and bouncing her around while people sing loudly and chant and play drums. B is very uncomfortable and thankfully just takes Bryn and basically runs out of there.
This is like a NIGHTMARE to me. I can't believe Gina did this. This isn't funny or cool in any way at all. Motherly instinct is a very VERY strong thing that one doesn't really understand until she is a mother.
It is near Halloween and B & Jason are picking out costumes. They try on clown costumes. I like B's socks but not for Halloween, just for regular use.
Because of US Weekly I know that they end up with the Panda costumes.
B and Jason confront Gina about the church situation. Gina apologizes, as she should for not explaining what the whole blessing ceremony was about.
Oh no, B is at her therapist again. They need to cut this portion out of the show. She just reiterates everything that has happened and tells her feelings that she has already told to the camera except the therapist turns it back to her own mother and her lack of protectiveness.
A shot taken of regular New York people walking shows a woman with a Coach purse and matching Coach boots. Ding ding ding! Winner of the ugliest outfit of the day!
B & Jason are now at a church to talk to the priest and get B comfortable with the baptism situation. I understand a lot more of what is going on in this church but it still scares me.
B asks Julie, her assistant to be Bryn's godmother. It is actually a very touching moment and I tear up a little bit.
It is Halloween and the Hoppy family, including Cookie the dog are dressed up as pandas. Their friends are dressed up as Jersey Shore people. They go trick or treating in the suburbs.
It is the day of the Catholic christening and Bryn looks adorable. That's all I have to say about this religious stuff.
Everyone heads out to eat to celebrate and Bryn looks even cuter. I just want to smoosh her.
Bryn is going to get blessed (not baptized according to Gina) at Gina's church where there are red carpets and drums. There is a Marky Markowicz at the church and B asks who that is, is it the Jewish Marky Mark to which Gina replies Yes. LOL.
When Gina shows B what kind of dancing goes on there it looks like she's either having a slight seizure or she's been possessed. B doesn't want to go now because she doesn't want to dance involuntarily.
B has a woman come over to help with baby proofing the house. Do people honestly need help in doing this? Read a book or use some common sense, who hires a specialist to baby proof your house? I guess when you have shitloads of money you can pay for anything to be done so you don't have to do it.
They crawl all over the floor to find the hazards. The DVR is one of them because Bryn could start recording porn.
My favorite Bethenny line of the episode so far:
B: "I'm thinking I have a really nice and safe nurturing environment for my baby...and now all of the sudden I'm in 'nam."
Time for the ceremony at Gina's church. I thought they were actually walking into a bodega or a Chinese food restaurant but no, it is the church. B says it looks like a place one would get bail bonds from. I'm scared already.
I'm an atheist so religion scares me a bit to begin with but the only religion I know anything remotely about is Catholic...and I know the bare minimum. So all of this is foreign to me.
Everyone is dressed in very colorful clothing and the women have turbans on their head. Is that the right word? Headdress? B has to wear one that is orange with a little fringe. There are drums and I almost feel like I'm a Phish show.
All of the sudden one of the women says that Bryn is going to be baptized. Jason is freaking out a bit since he and his family are catholic. They thought they were just going there for her to get a blessing. Gina assures them that it is not a baptism as a man yanks Bryn out of B's hands.
That's it, I don't care who I would offend, no one would be grabbing my kid like that from me. I'm scared shitless right now. I feel like they are going to do some kind of Weekend at Bernie's 2 stuff.
NO OFFENSE to anyone who is Baptist or from Trinidad or has this kind of church...I'm just saying, what you don't know can scare you and I'm extremely protective over my son.
Bryn is getting passed around and then a woman is holding her and bouncing her around while people sing loudly and chant and play drums. B is very uncomfortable and thankfully just takes Bryn and basically runs out of there.
This is like a NIGHTMARE to me. I can't believe Gina did this. This isn't funny or cool in any way at all. Motherly instinct is a very VERY strong thing that one doesn't really understand until she is a mother.
It is near Halloween and B & Jason are picking out costumes. They try on clown costumes. I like B's socks but not for Halloween, just for regular use.
Because of US Weekly I know that they end up with the Panda costumes.
B and Jason confront Gina about the church situation. Gina apologizes, as she should for not explaining what the whole blessing ceremony was about.
Oh no, B is at her therapist again. They need to cut this portion out of the show. She just reiterates everything that has happened and tells her feelings that she has already told to the camera except the therapist turns it back to her own mother and her lack of protectiveness.
A shot taken of regular New York people walking shows a woman with a Coach purse and matching Coach boots. Ding ding ding! Winner of the ugliest outfit of the day!
B & Jason are now at a church to talk to the priest and get B comfortable with the baptism situation. I understand a lot more of what is going on in this church but it still scares me.
B asks Julie, her assistant to be Bryn's godmother. It is actually a very touching moment and I tear up a little bit.
It is Halloween and the Hoppy family, including Cookie the dog are dressed up as pandas. Their friends are dressed up as Jersey Shore people. They go trick or treating in the suburbs.
It is the day of the Catholic christening and Bryn looks adorable. That's all I have to say about this religious stuff.
Everyone heads out to eat to celebrate and Bryn looks even cuter. I just want to smoosh her.
Teen Mom: How to Blend In At Your Wedding (from 3/22)
Chelsea and Adam have now been broken up for a couple weeks. His car is parked in her driveway, junk is in the garage and he hasn't come to see Aubree or pay child support. She should sell his car and his stuff.
A letter comes from social services that says they will be serving Adam with a notice to appear in court because he hasn't paid child support since June 22nd. Chelsea doesn't know how this happened, she guesses they just automatically do this. Why hasn't she been taking care of this and aggresively pursuing it? I don't care of Randy takes care of all of her bills, Adam is the father. I HATE ADAM!
Chelsea and Randy are meeting for lunch AGAIN to catch up on her life so she drops Aubree off at her mom's house. She says studying for the GED test isn't going well because Aubree is distracting because she's soooo cute. How about you drop Aubree off at your mom's house so you can study for the GED instead of going to lunch for the 80th time this season.
Instead, Chelsea thinks it is a good idea to bring Aubree to a coffee shop with her so she can study there and let Aubree drink juice that doesn't look watered down (someone told me Randy is a dentist so why doesn't she know about all of the sugar??)
Why isn't she studying while Aubree is sleeping or with her dad or mom or just playing at home quietly? Oh, because Chelsea is lazy as hell and she's just trying to look smart and not lazy by "reading" at a coffee shop. Notice she opened the GIANT book to page one? Guess she hasn't read anything yet.
Adam calls suddenly and wants to see Aubree tomorrow. He complains that he hasn't seen her in forever and that it is dumb that Chelsea has plans and he can't take her. He just keeps getting better and better! He can just stay away and pretend that he doesn't have a daughter until it is convenient for him or he misses the cameras being around.
Thankfully Chelsea doesn't give in.
At home she decides to Facebook stalk him. There are some new photos and it looks like Adam is living with a new girlfriend who looks like a mix between a "bulldog and a mouse" who smokes butts.
Chelsea and her friend Megan go out to get pedicures instead of studying for her GED test. For some reason the cameras are at Adam's place with his girlfriend (or I guess I should say HER place). In the Facebook pictures that Chelsea was looking at, the faces were blurred out, but here she is on TV. She has the "Rachel" hair cut. Seriously.
She says that it sucks that Chelsea won't let Adam see Aubree. Yeah and it sucks that Adam doesn't want to see her until he thinks it will impress a girl or get him on television. It sucks that Adam thinks he can choose when he can be a dad. What is this girl doing with him? Oh yeah, getting on TV.
I wonder if Adam picked her up at the county fair. Fair whore.
Chelsea calls Adam to tell him that she's not comfortable with him taking Aubree. He tells Chelsea that Aubree isn't hers, she's their child together. Of course he wasn't saying this when he lived with Chelsea and she was doing everything for the baby and he played XBox or went out with friends. Clearly she was HER child then.
Also, during her 16 and Pregnant Episode he said he wanted to sign away all parental rights to her. Should've taken him up on that Chelsea. But since she's the human equivalent of a sloth that never happened.
Oh and Aubree is now drinking what can only be that gross orange drink from McDonald's.
Kailyn brings Isaac to Jo's parents' house and his brother Junior actually meets her at the front door instead of through the garage like he normally does. Must be a special occasion.
Suzi meets Kailyn for lunch to discuss that they need to get some custody agreement in writing. Duh.
Kailyn goes to pick up Isaac from Jo's house and Jo doesn't even let her inside. Back at her mom's she calls the courthouse to get information about a custody agreement.
Her studying for school isn't working very well because she got an F on a test. She talks to her college friends outside during lunch about Isaac and Jo. It really does seem like these two friends are set up, maybe paid by MTV just so Kailyn isn't always talking to the camera, Jo, her mom or her side ponytail-skintight-shorts girl.
Kailyn drops a class in school because she feels she is doing too much with her other classes, work, Isaac and the custody situation. She heads to the place to file the paperwork for custody. Suzi pays the money to get the forms started.
Leah and Corey are discussing their fight about the wedding. Well, Leah is discussing it. Corey is mumbling incoherently. They decide they do want to get married after all.
Today Corey and Leah are going to pick out their cake. There is a camoflauge cake and they say that their wedding IS in camo. Did she just say that??? Because I joked about that when they chose their location but if that's actually true...holy shit.
Leah and Corey go ice skating with some friends. It looks like Leah's been sharing her eyeliner because her friend is all raccooned up too.
Ali's second opinion appointment is today. These doctors seem much more friendly. I hope they can find out what is going on and that it is good news.
There are some growth restrictions in one of her hips. They suggest a geneticist as well. When Leah says how no doctor can tell if Ali will ever be able to walk, I feel sick to my stomach and sad.
Corey and his wedding party are trying on their suits. They really are camo accented. Oh...my...god.
Back at home Leah's eyeliner is at risk of smudging because she's tearing up a bit talking to Corey about Ali. I'm lucky that I do not have eyeliner on. And even if I did, there wouldn't be enough that it would come off with tears.
Jenelle is staying with Reefer at his cousin's house. Evidently Reefer can't drive because Jenelle is talking him through it from the passenger seat. He probably should've waited to smoke until after they drove.
Jenelle is taking a break from Reefer and she goes to her friend Amber's house. Amber has a blow up dolphin hanging from the ceiling.
Jenelle doesn't know if she should be honest with her mother about stealing her credit cards because then she might use it against her with the cops. But if she lies, her mom is going to start an investigation. Hmmm...I think the truth just MIGHT come out when the show airs.
Since Jenelle no longer has money to support Reefer, he's going to stay with friends two hours away. Well, she says it is because they are arguing a lot but we all know that he's really just taking a break while she's broke and plans to turn up again when she gets her Teen Mom money.
Jenelle goes to her mother's house and doesn't even look happy to see Jace, she doesn't pick him up.
Barbara shows Jenelle the $700 credit card bill that includes purchases and cash advances! Cash advances! Why didn't I think of that? That's how they bought their weed...uummm...gas and food.
Barbara wants her to pay her in one lump sum or she's going to file a police report. Jenelle refuses to do so because she doesn't even know how much it is. Seems simple you moron. Look at the dates. Look at the locations of the gas & food & cash advances.
After their argument she leaves without hugging, saying goodbye or even looking at Jace.
Jenelle gets her financial aid check reissued to her and it will take a week or so. She thinks she has lost her job because her boss has been calling her because she's missed a few days of work. Duh. She explains that she's had a lot of family issues but didn't say why she didn't call him before missing work. Yup, she's fired.
Jenelle has no where to stay since Reefer isn't around and Amber isn't answering her phone. Maybe that blow up dolphin popped and she's out shopping for a new one. So Jenelle is planning to sleep in her car. Barbara calls her and tells her she can come home for the night and they will talk in the morning.
The next morning while Jace is drinking something purple, Barbara and Jenelle talk about the situation. Every time either of them say "Kieffer" I get confused. I've been calling him Reefer for so long that I think that is REALLY his name. Barbara wishes Jenelle would stop seeing him and take responsiblity and go to school. We all know this isn't going to happen anytime soon thanks to US Weekly. I kind of think that the magazines shouldn't do articles about the girls while the show is on so we don't already know how things turn out after the season is done.
Next week is the season finale! To prepare, put on something that will allow you to blend into your couch so you can feel right at home at the camo wedding. Also, if you're doing anything illegal, stop and get rid of it because cops are involved next week!
A letter comes from social services that says they will be serving Adam with a notice to appear in court because he hasn't paid child support since June 22nd. Chelsea doesn't know how this happened, she guesses they just automatically do this. Why hasn't she been taking care of this and aggresively pursuing it? I don't care of Randy takes care of all of her bills, Adam is the father. I HATE ADAM!
Chelsea and Randy are meeting for lunch AGAIN to catch up on her life so she drops Aubree off at her mom's house. She says studying for the GED test isn't going well because Aubree is distracting because she's soooo cute. How about you drop Aubree off at your mom's house so you can study for the GED instead of going to lunch for the 80th time this season.
Instead, Chelsea thinks it is a good idea to bring Aubree to a coffee shop with her so she can study there and let Aubree drink juice that doesn't look watered down (someone told me Randy is a dentist so why doesn't she know about all of the sugar??)
Why isn't she studying while Aubree is sleeping or with her dad or mom or just playing at home quietly? Oh, because Chelsea is lazy as hell and she's just trying to look smart and not lazy by "reading" at a coffee shop. Notice she opened the GIANT book to page one? Guess she hasn't read anything yet.
Adam calls suddenly and wants to see Aubree tomorrow. He complains that he hasn't seen her in forever and that it is dumb that Chelsea has plans and he can't take her. He just keeps getting better and better! He can just stay away and pretend that he doesn't have a daughter until it is convenient for him or he misses the cameras being around.
Thankfully Chelsea doesn't give in.
At home she decides to Facebook stalk him. There are some new photos and it looks like Adam is living with a new girlfriend who looks like a mix between a "bulldog and a mouse" who smokes butts.
Chelsea and her friend Megan go out to get pedicures instead of studying for her GED test. For some reason the cameras are at Adam's place with his girlfriend (or I guess I should say HER place). In the Facebook pictures that Chelsea was looking at, the faces were blurred out, but here she is on TV. She has the "Rachel" hair cut. Seriously.
She says that it sucks that Chelsea won't let Adam see Aubree. Yeah and it sucks that Adam doesn't want to see her until he thinks it will impress a girl or get him on television. It sucks that Adam thinks he can choose when he can be a dad. What is this girl doing with him? Oh yeah, getting on TV.
I wonder if Adam picked her up at the county fair. Fair whore.
Chelsea calls Adam to tell him that she's not comfortable with him taking Aubree. He tells Chelsea that Aubree isn't hers, she's their child together. Of course he wasn't saying this when he lived with Chelsea and she was doing everything for the baby and he played XBox or went out with friends. Clearly she was HER child then.
Also, during her 16 and Pregnant Episode he said he wanted to sign away all parental rights to her. Should've taken him up on that Chelsea. But since she's the human equivalent of a sloth that never happened.
Oh and Aubree is now drinking what can only be that gross orange drink from McDonald's.
Kailyn brings Isaac to Jo's parents' house and his brother Junior actually meets her at the front door instead of through the garage like he normally does. Must be a special occasion.
Suzi meets Kailyn for lunch to discuss that they need to get some custody agreement in writing. Duh.
Kailyn goes to pick up Isaac from Jo's house and Jo doesn't even let her inside. Back at her mom's she calls the courthouse to get information about a custody agreement.
Her studying for school isn't working very well because she got an F on a test. She talks to her college friends outside during lunch about Isaac and Jo. It really does seem like these two friends are set up, maybe paid by MTV just so Kailyn isn't always talking to the camera, Jo, her mom or her side ponytail-skintight-shorts girl.
Kailyn drops a class in school because she feels she is doing too much with her other classes, work, Isaac and the custody situation. She heads to the place to file the paperwork for custody. Suzi pays the money to get the forms started.
Leah and Corey are discussing their fight about the wedding. Well, Leah is discussing it. Corey is mumbling incoherently. They decide they do want to get married after all.
Today Corey and Leah are going to pick out their cake. There is a camoflauge cake and they say that their wedding IS in camo. Did she just say that??? Because I joked about that when they chose their location but if that's actually true...holy shit.
Leah and Corey go ice skating with some friends. It looks like Leah's been sharing her eyeliner because her friend is all raccooned up too.
There are some growth restrictions in one of her hips. They suggest a geneticist as well. When Leah says how no doctor can tell if Ali will ever be able to walk, I feel sick to my stomach and sad.
Corey and his wedding party are trying on their suits. They really are camo accented. Oh...my...god.
Back at home Leah's eyeliner is at risk of smudging because she's tearing up a bit talking to Corey about Ali. I'm lucky that I do not have eyeliner on. And even if I did, there wouldn't be enough that it would come off with tears.
Jenelle is staying with Reefer at his cousin's house. Evidently Reefer can't drive because Jenelle is talking him through it from the passenger seat. He probably should've waited to smoke until after they drove.
Jenelle is taking a break from Reefer and she goes to her friend Amber's house. Amber has a blow up dolphin hanging from the ceiling.
Jenelle doesn't know if she should be honest with her mother about stealing her credit cards because then she might use it against her with the cops. But if she lies, her mom is going to start an investigation. Hmmm...I think the truth just MIGHT come out when the show airs.
Since Jenelle no longer has money to support Reefer, he's going to stay with friends two hours away. Well, she says it is because they are arguing a lot but we all know that he's really just taking a break while she's broke and plans to turn up again when she gets her Teen Mom money.
Jenelle goes to her mother's house and doesn't even look happy to see Jace, she doesn't pick him up.
Barbara shows Jenelle the $700 credit card bill that includes purchases and cash advances! Cash advances! Why didn't I think of that? That's how they bought their weed...uummm...gas and food.
Barbara wants her to pay her in one lump sum or she's going to file a police report. Jenelle refuses to do so because she doesn't even know how much it is. Seems simple you moron. Look at the dates. Look at the locations of the gas & food & cash advances.
After their argument she leaves without hugging, saying goodbye or even looking at Jace.
Jenelle gets her financial aid check reissued to her and it will take a week or so. She thinks she has lost her job because her boss has been calling her because she's missed a few days of work. Duh. She explains that she's had a lot of family issues but didn't say why she didn't call him before missing work. Yup, she's fired.
Jenelle has no where to stay since Reefer isn't around and Amber isn't answering her phone. Maybe that blow up dolphin popped and she's out shopping for a new one. So Jenelle is planning to sleep in her car. Barbara calls her and tells her she can come home for the night and they will talk in the morning.
The next morning while Jace is drinking something purple, Barbara and Jenelle talk about the situation. Every time either of them say "Kieffer" I get confused. I've been calling him Reefer for so long that I think that is REALLY his name. Barbara wishes Jenelle would stop seeing him and take responsiblity and go to school. We all know this isn't going to happen anytime soon thanks to US Weekly. I kind of think that the magazines shouldn't do articles about the girls while the show is on so we don't already know how things turn out after the season is done.
Next week is the season finale! To prepare, put on something that will allow you to blend into your couch so you can feel right at home at the camo wedding. Also, if you're doing anything illegal, stop and get rid of it because cops are involved next week!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The Real Housewives of OC: Gross Romance & Smarmy Leases (from 3/20)
Gretchen answers her door wearing a crown when Alexis comes over to visit. Seriously? This is going to continue? Is this the extent of this season? Stretching the same silly arguments out? What's next, the Bedazzled Evil Eye Hat? UGH.
Gretchen continues to say how she hates to be called a princess, blah blah blah. On their way out she says she will drive because she has a new car. Instead of a license plate it says "This is What a Newport Coast PRINCESS Looks Like!"
Two things: #1 How can you drive around not having a real license plate on the back of the car? Is that something the editing just added in as joke?
#2 If she hates being called a princess, and the plate is real why does she have that license plate? And why does she wear a tiara at home? And why does she OWN a tiara?
Peggy meets up with Alexis and Gretchen at a shoe store. The store owner or clerk tells Peggy that they are having a "Big Boot Sale" and I could have sworn she said "Big BOOB Sale" but I guess not.
They get champagne. I was just at the Reebok outlet this past weekend and I didn't get anything to drink.
The "big boots" on sale are actually "hooker boots". Yes, like the ones Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman. Wear them over pants but wearing them with a dress or a skirt - you're a hooker.
The three blondes go out for dinner and drinks. They are bashing Vicki and Tamra to Peggy and then start talking about Slade's penis. Yuck.
Peggy said that she and her husband were so horny one day that when their daughter came in the room they didn't want to kick her out so they went into the closet to have sex. Come on. GAG.
Of course, Alexis says "Oh we've done the closet like I can't tell you how many times!" She is still in the competition with Peggy and now it isn't just about her kids, it is about where they have sex while the kids are in the room. Awesome.
Can we now have a contest to see who can shut up the longest?
Alexis talks about tying her ugly husband up to a chair with silk scarves. Ew. No one wants that image in their head. Plus, what would Jesus think Alexis?
Vicki's doing some remodeling in the house. She's annoying. Moving on.
Tamra is meeting up with Vicki for lunch. I hope Tamra tells her whether she's happy, sad or angry because there is no way that Vicki can tell by her frozen face.
They talk about Tamra's divorce (zzzz) and Tamra mentions that she and her new boyfriend Eddie are going to Italy.
Vicki says how hurt she was LAST YEAR. Ok this was clearly directed by Bravo to bring this up again. Find some new drama ladies!!!!!! Don't recycle the old shit. They end up deciding that they want to go to Cabo together for a girls trip.
Tamra is making plans with Eddie for the night. She says that he's five years younger but he looks 25. No wonder she's getting all this work done on her face.
We finally get to see Eddie and...drum roll....Eddie wears cowboy boots and jeans that are tight. He doesn't look 25 so Tamra shouldn't worry. He is NOT cute and he has a girly mouth. They are so gross because they keep holding hands and kissing.
They are having dinner with a friend of theirs and still keep making out in front of him. I'm so grossed out by his girly lips and her frozen face touching.
OH GROSS, Tamra is lighting candles with her wrinkly old hands and running a bath. Great. This means they are getting into the tub together. I've never been mnore turned off in my life.
Tamra gets into the tub and calls Eddie in there. I think he's uncomfortable with either getting in the tub in front of the cameras or getting into the tub with Tamra because he isn't moving quick and he literally CHUGS his wine.
Tamra tells him she loves him, he says "You love me?" and never says he loves her back and then they make out in the tub like they are in some kind of cheesy soft core porn.
Does anyone else feel like she's doing this as sort of a "fuck you" to Simon? Going on and on about how much love there is and how he's younger and handsome, blah blah blah. Its too much.
Alexis and the kids are being blessed by their husband on their way out the door to go to San Diego. The son wants to ride with his dad but of course he can't be bothered so all the kids ride with the nanny in one car, while Jim drives by himself and some luggage.
When the two pull up next to each other on the highway, Jim basically ignores them and starts going faster to get away. HA!
They've arrived in San Diego. There are 10 bags for a 3 day trip. They have all of the bags except the poor nanny's bag.
I repeat, they are there for three days. Now they are asking the people who work there to remove furniture.
At breakfast the next morning Jim does his prayers and Alexis tells us that it helps to make him feel like the head of the household. However, I disagree. Him asking HER to get up and get him ketchup and then toast, and then toast and water for the kids while he sits on his ass and eats makes him feel like the head of the household and it makes Alexis look like a little maid.
For some reason the nanny isn't eating with them. Is she forced to eat with the help at the hotel? Ugh!
I think Jim is an awful husband in my opinion but Alexis keeps reiterating to the camera that she is so incredibly blessed and lucky to have such a wonderful husband. It seems that if you need to keep saying it, it probably isn't true.
They go shopping and Jim buys two very expensive watches. One was $22k. WHY WHY WHY? Alexis wants a giant diamond but it looks like she doesn't get it.
A quick scene during the commercial shows the family and the nanny go to the zoo. They are told that in the lion family the male lion sleeps up to 20 hours a day while the female does all the work. Alexis tells the camera that the animal world isn't all that different from the real world. (Speak for yourself, weirdo!) She then AGAIN says that she loves how her family works and they are all good. Sure.
Peggy raises her family holistic and doesn't believe in anti-biotics unless they are absolutely necessary. They take vitamins and fish oil every day. I hope when they start going to school and whatnot she realizes that kids get things like strep throat and bronchitis.
Peggy's mother-in-law is a homeopathist. She announces that she's using stem cells from an apple in Switzerland on her face. Seriously? Go buy some Cetaphil.
They are going to test Peggy to see how well she is aging which includes peeing in a cup. Apparently she's "rusting" from the inside. Her MIL's solution is these glittery bracelets that she's "programming hormones into by using a hologram generator". What? The? Fuck?
Gretchen is wearing Daisy Dukes and one of those half shirts that basically just tie in the middle. She's got a great body but isn't there an age when you should stop wearing teenage outfits? Maybe those rules don't apply on the West Coast.
She and Slade are heading to Palm Springs. Upon arrival they join Gretchen's friends on a bike ride. I love Gretchen's bike, it is really cute but I wouldn't be caught dead riding it. Slade's is even worse and they both have a dog in their little baskets.
At dinner Gretchen basically yells at Slade for buying a big meal that will make him fat. Why doesn't she tell him to change his name from Slade Smiley to something else that isn't smarmy?
Instead of getting married, Gretchen wants to have a "lease" with Slade. She tells the camera that she has said this before, she doesn't believe in marriages, she believes in leases. Except when the "car" has millions of dollars I guess because she was engaged to be MARRIED to Jeff before he died.
I'm literally yawning as I'm finishing typing this up. STEP IT UP OC BITCHES!
Gretchen continues to say how she hates to be called a princess, blah blah blah. On their way out she says she will drive because she has a new car. Instead of a license plate it says "This is What a Newport Coast PRINCESS Looks Like!"
Two things: #1 How can you drive around not having a real license plate on the back of the car? Is that something the editing just added in as joke?
#2 If she hates being called a princess, and the plate is real why does she have that license plate? And why does she wear a tiara at home? And why does she OWN a tiara?
Peggy meets up with Alexis and Gretchen at a shoe store. The store owner or clerk tells Peggy that they are having a "Big Boot Sale" and I could have sworn she said "Big BOOB Sale" but I guess not.
They get champagne. I was just at the Reebok outlet this past weekend and I didn't get anything to drink.
The "big boots" on sale are actually "hooker boots". Yes, like the ones Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman. Wear them over pants but wearing them with a dress or a skirt - you're a hooker.
The three blondes go out for dinner and drinks. They are bashing Vicki and Tamra to Peggy and then start talking about Slade's penis. Yuck.
Peggy said that she and her husband were so horny one day that when their daughter came in the room they didn't want to kick her out so they went into the closet to have sex. Come on. GAG.
Of course, Alexis says "Oh we've done the closet like I can't tell you how many times!" She is still in the competition with Peggy and now it isn't just about her kids, it is about where they have sex while the kids are in the room. Awesome.
Can we now have a contest to see who can shut up the longest?
Alexis talks about tying her ugly husband up to a chair with silk scarves. Ew. No one wants that image in their head. Plus, what would Jesus think Alexis?
Vicki's doing some remodeling in the house. She's annoying. Moving on.
Tamra is meeting up with Vicki for lunch. I hope Tamra tells her whether she's happy, sad or angry because there is no way that Vicki can tell by her frozen face.
They talk about Tamra's divorce (zzzz) and Tamra mentions that she and her new boyfriend Eddie are going to Italy.
Vicki says how hurt she was LAST YEAR. Ok this was clearly directed by Bravo to bring this up again. Find some new drama ladies!!!!!! Don't recycle the old shit. They end up deciding that they want to go to Cabo together for a girls trip.
Tamra is making plans with Eddie for the night. She says that he's five years younger but he looks 25. No wonder she's getting all this work done on her face.
We finally get to see Eddie and...drum roll....Eddie wears cowboy boots and jeans that are tight. He doesn't look 25 so Tamra shouldn't worry. He is NOT cute and he has a girly mouth. They are so gross because they keep holding hands and kissing.
They are having dinner with a friend of theirs and still keep making out in front of him. I'm so grossed out by his girly lips and her frozen face touching.
OH GROSS, Tamra is lighting candles with her wrinkly old hands and running a bath. Great. This means they are getting into the tub together. I've never been mnore turned off in my life.
Tamra gets into the tub and calls Eddie in there. I think he's uncomfortable with either getting in the tub in front of the cameras or getting into the tub with Tamra because he isn't moving quick and he literally CHUGS his wine.
Tamra tells him she loves him, he says "You love me?" and never says he loves her back and then they make out in the tub like they are in some kind of cheesy soft core porn.
Does anyone else feel like she's doing this as sort of a "fuck you" to Simon? Going on and on about how much love there is and how he's younger and handsome, blah blah blah. Its too much.
Alexis and the kids are being blessed by their husband on their way out the door to go to San Diego. The son wants to ride with his dad but of course he can't be bothered so all the kids ride with the nanny in one car, while Jim drives by himself and some luggage.
When the two pull up next to each other on the highway, Jim basically ignores them and starts going faster to get away. HA!
They've arrived in San Diego. There are 10 bags for a 3 day trip. They have all of the bags except the poor nanny's bag.
I repeat, they are there for three days. Now they are asking the people who work there to remove furniture.
At breakfast the next morning Jim does his prayers and Alexis tells us that it helps to make him feel like the head of the household. However, I disagree. Him asking HER to get up and get him ketchup and then toast, and then toast and water for the kids while he sits on his ass and eats makes him feel like the head of the household and it makes Alexis look like a little maid.
For some reason the nanny isn't eating with them. Is she forced to eat with the help at the hotel? Ugh!
I think Jim is an awful husband in my opinion but Alexis keeps reiterating to the camera that she is so incredibly blessed and lucky to have such a wonderful husband. It seems that if you need to keep saying it, it probably isn't true.
They go shopping and Jim buys two very expensive watches. One was $22k. WHY WHY WHY? Alexis wants a giant diamond but it looks like she doesn't get it.
A quick scene during the commercial shows the family and the nanny go to the zoo. They are told that in the lion family the male lion sleeps up to 20 hours a day while the female does all the work. Alexis tells the camera that the animal world isn't all that different from the real world. (Speak for yourself, weirdo!) She then AGAIN says that she loves how her family works and they are all good. Sure.
Peggy raises her family holistic and doesn't believe in anti-biotics unless they are absolutely necessary. They take vitamins and fish oil every day. I hope when they start going to school and whatnot she realizes that kids get things like strep throat and bronchitis.
Peggy's mother-in-law is a homeopathist. She announces that she's using stem cells from an apple in Switzerland on her face. Seriously? Go buy some Cetaphil.
They are going to test Peggy to see how well she is aging which includes peeing in a cup. Apparently she's "rusting" from the inside. Her MIL's solution is these glittery bracelets that she's "programming hormones into by using a hologram generator". What? The? Fuck?
Gretchen is wearing Daisy Dukes and one of those half shirts that basically just tie in the middle. She's got a great body but isn't there an age when you should stop wearing teenage outfits? Maybe those rules don't apply on the West Coast.
She and Slade are heading to Palm Springs. Upon arrival they join Gretchen's friends on a bike ride. I love Gretchen's bike, it is really cute but I wouldn't be caught dead riding it. Slade's is even worse and they both have a dog in their little baskets.
At dinner Gretchen basically yells at Slade for buying a big meal that will make him fat. Why doesn't she tell him to change his name from Slade Smiley to something else that isn't smarmy?
Instead of getting married, Gretchen wants to have a "lease" with Slade. She tells the camera that she has said this before, she doesn't believe in marriages, she believes in leases. Except when the "car" has millions of dollars I guess because she was engaged to be MARRIED to Jeff before he died.
I'm literally yawning as I'm finishing typing this up. STEP IT UP OC BITCHES!
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