What kind of prude is Vicki that she doesn't use the word 'vagina'?
GREAT...we get to see flashbacks of Tamra and Ugly Eddie making whoopie in the tub. I actually feel pretty nauseated because I just ate.
Andy asks Tamra if her kids know Eddie. Tamra says that they don't know him well and that she's really strict with the fact that when she has the kids, they are at her house and when the kids are with Simon, she's with Eddie.
Alexis says what we're all thinking "Well they know Eddie now if they turn on the TV screen...in a bubble bath." THANK YOU Alexis. Even though I hate you.
Tamra asks what her point was. Um...I think she just made her point idiot.
Tamra thinks Gretchen is jealous of her hot man. I think Slade is slimy as hell and he's hotter than Ugly Eddie. Tamra is delusional.
Vicki's turn. Failed marriage scenes. At the reunion Vicki's skin looks TERRIBLE. She has so much makeup on and it looks shiny and bumpy.
Don was interviewed by Bravo and I'm totally on his side. Vicki treated him badly, ignored him, never came home and then the way he found out that Vicki wanted a divorce was when the process server showed up at his work. Bitch. I think Karma gave her that bad skin.
Well, at least she's taking responsibility for being cold to him. She says her lawyer told her that she needed to throw him a surprise party for the divorce. Ok not a party. But Don had to be surprised by the process server.
Alexis' scenes show her making that little speech about being made from her husbands rib. PLEASE have someone confront her about that ignorant shit.
Andy asks if Alexis would discourage her daughters from running for president when they got older. Alexis says she would want them to do whatever they want but she feels safer having a man run the country.
Hey Gretchen - please take your stiletto and stab her in the eye. Thanks.
I'm distracted by everyone's EXTREMELY shiny legs. Maybe it is the lighting because Peggy, Vicki and Tamra look like they've been soaking their legs in olive oil and Gretchen and Alexis' are dry and normal.
Regarding Alexis' house situation - she says that they sold their house and they are paying cash for a new one. Vicki and Tamra call bullshit because the bank wouldn't allow them to do a short sale if they knew they had other assets or other money to pay the difference in the mortgage to the bank. Alexis is a moron for even answering these things on TV.
Tamra says that Jim put the house in a business' name, filed bankruptcy on the business which stopped the foreclosure and short sold the house all the while having other money to buy a new place. Suddenly Tamra seems smart. For a minute.
WHAT? Gretchen had a song? It's terrible. Why do the housewives think they can become singers?
Gretchen points out that it is obvious while watching the show that Tamra can't stop talking about her or Alexis. If you look at the two couches you can tell why Tamra hates those two...they are MUCH prettier than she is. She's fine with Vicki and Peggy because they are beasts.
Tamra says she's been neutral the whole season and hasn't talked about Gretchen at all.
Again...Tamra is delusional. She has lost it. Well, I don't think she ever had it.
Tamra continues to tell Gretchen that she was sleeping with another guy while she was engaged to Jeff. I can't believe she can still just make these comments based on what she "heard" after the whole thing with Jeana happened. Shut your ugly fucking mouth Tamra!
End of Part 1
*******
I'm getting this all over with in one night!
Peggy discusses her depression. Andy asks Alexis if she knew about Peggy's post partum depression and Alexis says "Yes, I suffered from it too."
IS SHE SERIOUSLY GOING TO BE IN A COMPETITION ABOUT FUCKING DEPRESSION?
Everyone stops and looks at each other. Peggy says that Alexis only had it with the twins whereas she had it with both of her kids. Alexis claims that when she was talking to Peggy one day she was the one who told Peggy that maybe she has depression.
Why hasn't Gretchen stabbed her in the eye yet? Maybe Tamra will. I'll go "like" her on FB if she does that. And I hate Tamra.
Alexis wanted to get Peggy on the RH but then changed her mind when she realized she would be in competition with her. Alexis doesn't admit this, she just says that she didn't want to ruin their friendship so she never ended up submitting her name for casting. Apparently someone else did...
We know that Peggy dated Jim many years ago, before Alexis and Jim got together. Jim didn't tell Alexis until a couple of months before the season started filming. Peggy says that Jim told her that she NEVER wanted Alexis to find out about it. Mr. and Mrs. Never Keeping Secrets have some skeletons in the closet. And Mr Jim's skeleton has ugly fake lips and giant fake boobs.
Alexis now claims that it was Peggy's responsibility as her friend to come to her and tell her that she dated Jim. WHAT? So she thinks that Peggy should have told her and NOT Jim? She needs some counseling.
She can't believe that Peggy could look her in the eyes every day and not tell her. Maybe Alexis and Jim don't look at each other in their eyes? Because how can she even say this? JIM should have told her. JIM looked at her every day and never said anything. But wait, Jim is a saint. And a topless model.
Clips of Gretchen from this season really show her as a huge bitch. But Vicki and Tamra are consistently hypocritical so Gretchen still looks like the best one on the show.
Vicki thinks that Gretchen shouldn't have done the show in the first place because her fiance was dying. She should have made her relationship a priority and left the show. Gretchen says the same back to Vicki - that if her marriage was a priority and was clearly failing, SHE should have left the show. Vicki thinks this comparison is outrageous but I agree with her. Yes, sickness/death and divorce are two different things - but they are both serious life issues that should be dealt with in private and be priority number 1.
Vicki can't say SHIT.
Jeff wanted Gretchen to continue with the show and this causes Vicki and Tamra to roll their eyes.
Now there is a lot of arguing about Alexis' fashion show extravaganza when Vicki was in the hospital and Tamra spent the time texting and announcing that Vicki's ass is bleeding. Every single person except Andy are talking over each other so we cannot hear a full sentence. I almost want to mute it.
Slade is getting his own section on the reunion. He's been on the show as long as Vicki since he dated a few past housewives.
Tamra announces that Slade's son's mother (Michelle) called her the day before the reunion. Slade says that Michelle told him Tamra called HER, basically fishing for information. Tamra claims that's a lie and then yells out that Slade doesn't pay his child support. She somehow thinks she knows everyone's personal and financial business.
Tamra doesn't want to listen to Slade say negative things about her so she walks off set. She thinks she knows what is going on in Slade's life because of his Twitter updates.
Backstage Tamra calls Michelle on her cell and puts her on speakerphone. It TOTALLY sounds like Bravo has chopped up this conversation to make Slade look worse.
Does anyone else think that Tamra called a fake "Michelle"?
Back on stage Tamra keeps insisting that Slade is broke and doesn't have a job even though he and Gretchen say he does. It's just not what it used to be. The sad thing here is that I believe Slade and Gretchen - but only because I hate Tamra so much that I want to disagree with her.
Jeana's here. She's living with her new boyfriend and she's still not officially divorced from her husband. Who cares?
We see the clips from the party when Tamra confronted Jeana. Of course - no where in those clips did they show Jeana pushing Tamra (like she claimed).
Jeana makes a good point about how Tamra made a big deal about putting Simon in jail because he threw something at her because her kids should know that it is NOT ok to throw things at people. Yet in the final episode she threw a piece of paper and a glass of wine at Jeana.
Tamra just meant to say "cease and desist" but she said "ciss and asseese".
During the wrap up "what did you learn from this season" Alexis decides to talk about how she just got a text from Jim because she sent him one asking about Peggy. Jim told her that Peggy was lying and that she went crazy and broke into his place. If that was truly the case, WHY would Jim "allow" Alexis to hang out with Peggy. Bullshit.
