Jenni “What is it called, drunken indecency?”
Deena “Intoxication in the public?”
Jenni “Drunken public intoxication?”
Then apparently Snooki’s father picks and she says “Hi is this Snook’s dad?” When he says yes she’s suddenly formal with him “Hi Mr. Palozzi.” She tells Mr. Snooki Palozzi about the arrest for public intoxication. I wish she would’ve said “the public” like Deena suggested.
Totally off topic but JWoww has a nice body but she walks with a waddle like I did when I was 9 months pregnant. I wonder if those jean shorts are giving her chub rub?
The boys return home with lots of laundry. Do Ed Hardy shirts really need to be dry cleaned, pressed and hung under plastic as if they are wedding attire? And it was clearly laundry day because Pauly is wearing a laundry day outfit - fluorescent green shorts and a black tank top with a giant matching fluorescent green star on it. I’ve never seen anything like it, even in 1986. I hope he doesn’t wear that again.
So some woman calls the house from the police station and says that they can come pick “her up”. Obviously the phone call was re-enacted and the caller didn’t feel like playing along.
Now, I’ve never been arrested but I think if I spent any kind of time in a jail setting, the first thing I would do upon returning home is shower. Not sit on my bed eating eggs while the sand is creating some sort of coral reef in my cleavage.
Snooki calls her father and says that jail was a phenomenon. Oh wait, scratch that…a train wreck. Technically a phenomenon is defined as “an observable occurrence” and her arrest was clearly observed by everyone on the beach that had gathered around and now the nation of MTV viewers. However, I found this definition that seemed more fitting:
phenomenon phe·nom·e·non (fĭ-nŏm'ə-nŏn', -nən)
n. pl. phe·nom·e·na (-nə)
- An occurrence, a circumstance, or a fact that is perceptible by the senses, especially one in relation to a disease.
Another observation: Deena walks like JWoww too. Maybe its a “shore” thing or they just need to get shorts that do not require walking with legs apart so the denim doesn’t irritate the vag.
These clubs they go into are like my worst nightmares. Awful music, STDs flying about and tons of people. Mike, Vinnie and Pauly have gone out with Deena. So they are now MVPD.
MVPD = Most Venomous Penis Disease
MVPD = Many Vigorous People Dancing
MVPD = Musky Vapors Preserve Dead
Ok I give up. I thought I would be able to come up with something with “venereal”. I’m still new at this blogging thing. Give me time.
Oh my god Ronnie’s doppelganger Dean aka scrubby Ronnie. Now, that’s not really fair because the real Ronnie is scrubby too. But he’s famous. So Dean is just Scrubbier Ronnie. His hair in the back looks like a clipped dog’s tail. And I think Deena just got pregnant from the way they were dancing.
Scrubbier Ronnie also has a girlfriend named Sam. But he’s telling Deena that he’s as single as they come which is really making him more like the real Ronnie. I’m just waiting for him to look at the camera and say he uses Xenadrine.
Vinnie and Pauly are talking about Scrubbier Ronnie hooking up with Deena in the hot tub and that they should write a “politically correct” letter to Sam to let her know, so bring the thesaurus!
“Dear Sam, Ronnie hooked up with Deena in the hot tub, in lieu of, resulting in, ending up in the bed with you for the most part to the third party. You know what I mean.”
The hypothetical letter was funny but I’m really wondering if Pauly & Vinnie know that “politically correct” is different than “grammatically correct”.
How is fist pumping a dance? What happened to actual dancing like the Running Man or the Roger Rabbit? They actually required some effort and learning.
Speaking of Roger, the girl last week thought that Roger (JWoww’s friend, not Rabbit) had a girlfriend came back saying she was mistaken and it was someone who looks just like him.
I wonder how many girls get phone calls telling them their man is cheating on them at da club at da shore but it ends up just being someone who had the same orangey-brown glow, sticky hair, wet armpits and steroidy muscles?
Snooki says doesn’t want to drink anymore. What? Cancel the show. Oh wait, she can have Pinot because pregnant people do. Wine doesn’t count I guess.
Snooki just said she was going to “double panty it” on her date with the tan Irish guy, Nick who she thinks is SO hot. I think I know what that means but I’m so grossed out by it that I can’t even type it. Also, in reference to a different hole, Snooki says she shits her pants when she’s excited. “I just had a baby in the toilet”. Fist pump that!!!
I wonder if they - “they” being New Jersey - hire someone who’s main job is to clean up puke on the Jersey Shore. All that drinking, tanning, fried food, fist pumping and rollercoasters? There’s got to be a whole lot of vomit there.
Back from her date with Roger, JWoww talks to her boyfriend Tom on the phone. For someone who likes beefy guys, Tom sure sounds a little like he is a makeup artist in Beverly Hills. In fact, I think he sounds like the guy last night who did Kim’s makeup with the strange toupee looking hair on The Real Housewives.
Somehow JWoww’s tears go down her face and meet up in the center of her chin and make a line straight down her neck and chest in between her boobs. I thought she was wearing one of those lariat necklaces for a second.
Note to criminals in Jersey: if you want to break into someone’s home, check under the mailbox and in the grill for the keys.
In JWoww’s case back at home, no one needed to break-in…her live-in boyfriend stole her graduation watch, hard drive and her bed. That must’ve been an awkward getaway.
It also looks like he paid himself money from JWoww’s Paypal. Good thinking, Tom…there will never be a trail, no one will ever figure out who stole JWoww’s money. Especially if your username is JWowwfromtheJerseyShoresboyfriendTom because you know that's it.
No physical fights in this episode so that really grinds my gears. Two recaps in a row without any punching or bleeding. We do have next week’s episode to look forward to when Sammi punches Ronnie in the head but I’m looking forward to the Bad Girls Club on Monday. There will surely be some hair pulling, kicking, punching, bleeding, etc. The BGC doesn’t let me down.
As a side note – I usually forward through the commercials during Jersey Shore but since I was typing this I let it go. Someone at MTV took marketing 101. These are the commercials I remember
- Trailer for a horrible Ashton Kutcher movie about friends with benefits
- A TV show called Skins which is a remake of a British show of the same name. If you are older than 20 and watch it you just might be a pedophile.
- The morning after pill
- Basically every commercial revolves around sex.
Side note 2 - When is Jennifer Aniston going to stop making stupid shitty movies and realize that the only thing she was good at was playing Rachael Greene? Brad Pitt’s women sure pick awful movies to star in because all of Angelina’s are crap except Girl Interrupted. Maybe Brad’s next partner will be Hugh Grant because he makes shitty movies too.
