Nikki announces that they are playing dodgeball. Char brags that she was good at dodgeball in elementary school. Great resume.
The walk into the gym where they are playing and it looks brutal but at least they aren't playing other people. Nikki, Wilmarie and Lauren lose almost immediately and during the rematch the exact opposite happens. The third game Char, Jessica and Kori win.
What was the point in this?
On the ride home Lauren is talking about what she likes in guys and they get extra extra extra points of they wear girl jeans. Um...ew!!!
Wilmarie, Lauren and Nikki are going out together to a place called La Vida. Nikki wants to find a "guido". It is so annoying. Using Jersey Shore lingo when you are not joking or making fun of them is not cool.
Wilmarie is fighting with Nikki and Lauren because she wants to dance. Nikki calls her a replacement which is the equivalent to the devil at the Bad Girls Club.
At home, Char suggests they play charades. When she says "one syllable", Jessica says that she doesn't even know what the word syllable. Holy shit.
She also says that she didn't know that North Carolina wasn't a part of California. Holy shit.
Char doesn't know what an adverb is and Kori suggests that a noun is what describes the verb. Holy shit.
In the sentence "Jessica ran across the street" Jessica thinks that the noun is "ran". Holy shit.
Wilmarie goes home early and cries to the other girls. When Lauren and Nikki get home Nikki argues with Wilmarie about the replacement comment. She's only been here four days and she mentions that the originals have been there for 8 weeks. I would DIE if I had to live with these slobby nasty annoying bitches for 8 weeks.
The next day Lauren and Nikki head out together and Lauren's wearing another romper/jumper thing.
The other four go out together. Some random guy comes to their area and they pull his pants down. Then Kori gives him a lap dance, lifts up her shirt and puts his face between her boobs. I bet her mother is super proud.
At the house Nikki is taking apart Wilmarie's bed because that is obviously just as bad as being called a replacement. They then put the extra mattress in between Nikki and Lauren's beds. Wilmarie is moving into the "jinxed" room where all other occupants have gone home.
Kori talks to a friend on the phone and they both say "oh my gawd" and "yaaah" and "totally".
Nikki and Lauren go to a club to look for their next STD. Nikki wants to hook up with the valet guy because he does the Jersey Shore fist pumping thing where they start on the ground and go up in the air. I'm not from Jersey - but I would really like to believe that the stupid fist pumping from the ground up was kind of a Jersey Shore cast thing...not everyone in Jersey.
And you know what? Even if it was a Jersey thing - everyone should STOP doing that because they look fucking stupid for trying to be like a Jersey Shore cast member. Nikki calling guys guidos and her "snooki poof"?
L-O-S-E-R. That's a noun.
Char, Kori and Jessica go bowling. They all suck but I don't know how they are bowling with black lights everywhere and disco ball strobes. Char spills Jessica's drink and she's pissed but not for long.
Some large women come over to the girls and start yelling at them for being on the Bad Girls Club and that they are ho's. Char, Kori and Jessica get kicked out because of it.
Nikki makes a date with the valet parking guy and she calls him on the phone and invites him to go to a place called "Boho". She has to repeat the word "Boho" about 12 times so either there is some joke that I don't get or the guy was not listening or is just weird.
They go out to dinner and then meet up at a club later. She's yelling "You are SO Jersey bro!!!" Ugh. Someone needs to tape her mouth (and her legs) shut.
The other four girls have a feeling that Nikki wants to start something tonight. Ugly Wilmarie is going to take care of it.
They all get picked up in the limo so this is where the fight will happen. Nikki starts being really annoying with Jessica and Wilmarie is trying to tell her to stop. Now Wilmarie and Nikki are arguing and Nikki throws the "replacement" word at her again.
I understand that she's not one of the originals - but that isn't HER fault. It isn't like she signed up to be a replacement when someone left. It is a WEIRD insult.
I realize tonight that I HATE Nikki. She turns around and smacks Wilmarie and they start fighting. Of course, the episode ends so we don't see what happens after that.
In two weeks they go to Mexico and everyone is changing. Lauren's sick of Nikki so she's hanging out with Kori. Nikki's hanging out with Char. However, Nikki and Wilmarie still fight and the word replacement is still being used. PUKE.
This show needs to be DONE! How many episodes left?
Previous Bad Girls Club Recaps - click the episode to be linked to old recaps
Friday, April 1, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Survivor: Redemption Island (from 3/30)
David's pissed that Sarita didn't get voted out. He seems like a pouter. I don't like him.
On Redemption Island Matt is apparently planning to rob a bank because he has his orange "buff" around his mouth and nose. "This is a stick up!" Last week he had the nylon thing on his face. Seriously, is Redemption Island also a sewage plant island or something?
Stephanie is just blabbering on and on and on.
At the orange (yellow?) tribe Phillip is still in his pink undies and he and Rob decide that they are going to the duel today. Rob says that Phillip is probably the most unaware person he's ever met in his entire life. There is no way that this guy was a federal agent. I really do think this is like a Beautiful Mind thing where he thought he was working for the government but it was really just in his head.
The duel is like a giant game of Memory. Matt goes first and gets a match immediately, so does Stephanie. It is a close duel but Matt wins again. He can go back to his bank robbing plans.
Phillip babbles incoherently about samurai warriors or something.
Back at orange/yellow, Rob tells the tribe everything that happened on Raw Sewage Island while Phillip falls out of a tree.
Later on they are all eating rice and and Phillip chews it like its gum. He wants some of the crispy rice but that's Rob's portion. Why didn't Phillip just wait for his portion until the rice got crispy? I'm confused.
Phillip is super pissed and he tells the camera that he's sick of the girls basically worshipping Rob. He says that the girls are SHARING ROB'S UNDERWEAR and socks. What? Huh? What?
Challenge time. It involves a bag of balls and Jeff keeps saying "bag of balls". He he.
"Rob's still struggling with those balls!"
This challenge actually seems pretty hard, like people can get hurt and they are probably tired and stinky.
At the end the balls have to go into a small net. First tribe who gets 6 balls wins. Orange/yellow team wins basically because Grant was awesome.
The reward is a helicopter trip to some giant volcano. Everyone is seriously standing WAY too close to the edge. I'm paranoid.
They have a picnic on the volcano with sandwiches, candy, wine and Phillip chews it all like gum again. Rob finds the clue to the hidden immunity idol (which he already has) so he just throws it into the volcano.
At the sad purple tribe there are a bunch of birds eating stuff off of a turtle on the beach. This is not cute like the mini baby turtle from a few weeks ago.
We know Sarita wants to vote Dave out and vice versa. Blah blah blah during tribal council.
Sarita ends up being voted to Raw Sewage Island.
Next week the winner of the duel gets to rejoin the tribe AND they are merging. How pissed would you be if you were Matt and you lost the last duel? I doubt it against Sarita, though.
On Redemption Island Matt is apparently planning to rob a bank because he has his orange "buff" around his mouth and nose. "This is a stick up!" Last week he had the nylon thing on his face. Seriously, is Redemption Island also a sewage plant island or something?
Stephanie is just blabbering on and on and on.
At the orange (yellow?) tribe Phillip is still in his pink undies and he and Rob decide that they are going to the duel today. Rob says that Phillip is probably the most unaware person he's ever met in his entire life. There is no way that this guy was a federal agent. I really do think this is like a Beautiful Mind thing where he thought he was working for the government but it was really just in his head.
The duel is like a giant game of Memory. Matt goes first and gets a match immediately, so does Stephanie. It is a close duel but Matt wins again. He can go back to his bank robbing plans.
Phillip babbles incoherently about samurai warriors or something.
Back at orange/yellow, Rob tells the tribe everything that happened on Raw Sewage Island while Phillip falls out of a tree.
Later on they are all eating rice and and Phillip chews it like its gum. He wants some of the crispy rice but that's Rob's portion. Why didn't Phillip just wait for his portion until the rice got crispy? I'm confused.
Phillip is super pissed and he tells the camera that he's sick of the girls basically worshipping Rob. He says that the girls are SHARING ROB'S UNDERWEAR and socks. What? Huh? What?
Challenge time. It involves a bag of balls and Jeff keeps saying "bag of balls". He he.
"Rob's still struggling with those balls!"
This challenge actually seems pretty hard, like people can get hurt and they are probably tired and stinky.
At the end the balls have to go into a small net. First tribe who gets 6 balls wins. Orange/yellow team wins basically because Grant was awesome.
The reward is a helicopter trip to some giant volcano. Everyone is seriously standing WAY too close to the edge. I'm paranoid.
They have a picnic on the volcano with sandwiches, candy, wine and Phillip chews it all like gum again. Rob finds the clue to the hidden immunity idol (which he already has) so he just throws it into the volcano.
At the sad purple tribe there are a bunch of birds eating stuff off of a turtle on the beach. This is not cute like the mini baby turtle from a few weeks ago.
We know Sarita wants to vote Dave out and vice versa. Blah blah blah during tribal council.
Sarita ends up being voted to Raw Sewage Island.
Next week the winner of the duel gets to rejoin the tribe AND they are merging. How pissed would you be if you were Matt and you lost the last duel? I doubt it against Sarita, though.
Teen Mom Season Finale: Worth Watching Just to See Chelsea's Hair in Previews for Next Week (from 3/29)
Leah is headed to the nail salon because she's getting married tomorrow. Her sister Victoria is orange.
Time for the rehearsal! They are doing the rehersal at a church even though they are getting married at Coonskin Park. Leah's sporting the raccoon look again.
Leah's staying at her mother's house the night before the wedding and her orange sister is laying in bed with her while she talks on the phone with Corey. They both have full makeup on and I feel the need to go wash my face and my pillowcases just looking at them.
I thought they were just hanging out to talk but Orange gets up to turn off the light. They are sleeping in full makeup! This is just gross. The sheets are going to be full of eyeliner and orange.
It is morning and Leah has no makeup on so she must have washed her face after the camera guys finished filming her cuddle with her orange sister. Can I just say that I know she tried to match her nails to her wedding colors but they are really ugly.
Corey's mom is a hair stylist at a place called "Head Hunters". Perfect. She's getting some extensions in, curls and lots of hairspray. The pictures in US Weekly made Leah look really pretty but after she gets ready I really hate her makeup and her fake tan. Maybe I should adjust the tint on my TV because Chelsea looks orange too.
The bridesmaids dresses are really pretty. I'm happily surprised. Well, technically I was happily surprised when US Weekly printed the pictures in last week's magazine.
The guys are getting dressed in a bathroom with their suits draped over the stall doors.
Corey's dad gives Corey a pocket knife that he carried with him during the Persian Gulf War. He also shows him a polaroid of him and Corey when he was about 3 or 4 years old. He tells Corey how he's so proud of him for stepping up and taking care of his girls and he's happy about the man he's become. I think Corey is almost crying under his sunglasses.
Leah gets dressed and she does look beautiful.
I'm nervous for them! I didn't have a big wedding because I did not want to stand in front of everyone like this.
Leah's mother looks like she's going to pass out from fear as she walks down the...dance floor.
Leah is waiting her turn to walk in and I think she's in some kind of sub zero refrigerator.
The twins are SO DAMN ADORABLE!!!
Corey cries as soon as he sees Leah walking down the dance floor. So sweet. These two redeem all of the other teen moms.
During the vows, Leah starts cracking up at the line "for richer or for poorer". Maybe she's imagining their non-mobile-mobile home.
When they kiss I think they almost break each other's noses. They are cute. One Teen Mom couple I'm proud of...as we move on to the others...
Chelsea hasn't heard from Adam for a few days. Both Chelsea and Aubree have colds and Chelsea's mom offers to make her soup. Instead, she's going home to get some diapers and have her dad bring her sushi.
Adam's SUV has been parked in her driveway and he hasn't picked it up. Randalicious is having it towed the next day. Good.
Chelsea is picking out decorations for Aubree's birthday party and she wants to continue with the leopard print and pink theme. I hope she doesn't find any leopard print stuff.
Back at the house, Adam's vehicle is being towed. He was given fair warning by Randy. I love seeing people's cars get towed for some reason. Especially dicks like Adam.
It's Aubree's first birthday! I don't see any leopard print yet, just pink. Chelsea, her mom and sister discuss Adam and Chelsea actually says that she knows there is something wrong with her because she keeps going back to him. Acknowledging it is the first step.
Oh the cake, paper plates and the balloons have some leopard print.
Chelsea is in the bathroom getting ready with Megan and another friend. Not only is Chelsea wearing leopard print, the shower curtain is leopard print. The two friends look like they are dressed up for an 80's Halloween party. I really don't get this theme at all.
For some reason Adam is texting Chelsea's mother. He's not welcome at the party but he wants to get Aubree tomorrow.
The party is over and Adam is suddenly at the house. He opens the garage door and starts throwing carriages across the garage. He is looking for his motor. He gets in the house and asks where his car and motor are. Chelsea tells him that his car was towed and Adam says "Why?"
I wish there was something heavy and leopard print that would just fall from the sky and land on him right now. Chelsea won't call her dad for him to ask where his things are and Adam calls her a fucking bitch. They lock the door so he can't get back in. Outside he's swearing up a storm calling Chelsea a bitch.
Chelsea is nervous about it and she calls Randy to let him know what is going on. She calls him and says "Dad, guess what?!" It's like she's going to tell him that she won the lottery or invented a machine that turns everything into pink leopard print. Who starts a phone call like that when it involves something that may end up needing a 911 call?
Chelsea and her 80s dressed friends are sitting in her bed under the blanket talking. I don't understand this. This is her own house, why aren't they hanging out in the living room? The only reason you and your friends hang out in the bedroom is when you live with your parents. Maybe I'm just getting old.
Kailyn hasn't talked to Jo in a while and she's going to pick up Isaac while he's home. It looks like things might be ok with them and their custody agreement. There was no swearing or door slamming.
For some reason Kailyn feels bad about getting the custody agreement in writing simply because he was nice to her. She is even dumber than I thought. At least she has Suzi who is encouraging her.
While Kailyn is in the kitchen leaving Isaac unattended. He's eating dog food. Probably better for him than all the Gatorade or juice she gives him.
Kailyn goes out to eat with Jordan who pretends he knows Spanish and thinks he's a comedian all of the sudden. He's not funny at all so he can't make Kailyn laugh. I don't know what could make her laugh. She's too miserable.
Blah blah blah it is mediation day for Kailyn and Jo. No smiles from anyone so far. Not that it is a fun day for them, but holy crap these people make me tired.
Jo dressed up a bit for the mediation but Kailyn is in jeans. Jo actually smiles and I almost passed out.
Cameras aren't allowed in the mediation room so luckily Kailyn and Jo recap it for us afterwards. Jo wants a small change to their agreement and since Kailyn doesn't agree Jo says that they will have to see a judge about it because she's mentally ill.
While handing off Isaac to Jo, Kailyn tells Isaac "Your dad's a *beep*" and I can't tell what she says. Jo says "Your mom's a bitch." I truly hope that these kids use their Teen Mom income towards therapy for their children.
They argue all the way out to the car. Jo says "You think you're better than me? You ain't better than nobody. You're a piece of shit so shut the fuck up." Please someone cover Isaac's ears. I'm sad at the end of this story.
Jace is crying and I think it is because Jenelle is home. She goes outside and hides around the corner to call Reefer because she knows Barbara would be pissed if she knew she was calling him.
Reefer has been forbidden to stay at his friend Mike's parents' beach house where he was staying with Jenelle previously - but...he's staying there anyway. I had a feeling that this beach house would be the reason they get arrested for breaking and entering. Sure enough, Jenelle goes there to visit and when she wakes up at 2am, Reefer was gone and the cops were banging at the door.
Jenelle is arrested for breaking and entering and possession of marijuana. The police found Reefer down the street and arrested him as well. Good to know that he just took off on Jenelle and left her there alone.
It is 6am and Jenelle is calling Barbara to tell her that she's in jail. Barbara's response is a calm "What are you doing there?" as if Jenelle just told her "I'm down at the mall."
Jenelle tells Barbara that she is done with Reefer and she wants to come home. Poor little Jace. Little does he know that within the next year his mom will be arrested again for fighting.
Jenelle spends the night in jail and posts her own bond. Her friend picks her up. Jenelle tells her the story and supposedly Reefer was just going to park Jenelle's car elsewhere and she fell asleep - that's why he wasn't with her when the cops came.
The cops brought her to the place where Jenelle's car was supposed to be (Reefer's friend's house) and the cops find him in there drinking and snorting coke. Reefer got into the backseat of the cop car and says "I'm sorry. I love you." Thank goodness Jenelle seems to realize that he's bad news. But...we all know that he's not the end of her problems.
Jenelle heads off to school and Reefer calls her to ask if she's going to get him out of there. He doesn't know why she wants him to sit in jail and think about it. He says he loves her and she doesn't say it back. A whole new Jenelle today.
Later Barbara gets home with Jace and Jenelle looks like she still hasn't showered yet. What the fuck? You were in jail last night you dirty bitch!
She explains what happens with Barbara and they both yell at each other again in front of Jace.
Ok I know why they made this episode an hour and a half long - there is a commercial every 5 minutes.
Jenelle calls the credit card company to see what she owes from what she stole from her mother. Almost $800. She tells Barbara that she's going to pay her back, stay in school and try to stay on the right path.
Poor Barbara looks like she's aged about 20 years just this season of Teen Mom.
She cries and says that she doesn't think Jenelle loves her and that she doesn't care. I agree with her. But Jenelle goes and gives her a hug.
Reefer calls Jenelle again and asks if she is going to bail him out. She says no and he asks if they are still together. She says that she doesn't know and that he has to change.
However, the more she thinks about it, she wonders if she's being too hard on him. Ugh. She talks to Barbara's boyfriend Mike about it. Because she's been in a relationship with Reefer for a whole five months straight it is hard to not be with him.
Mike, the voice of reason, tells Jenelle that she needs to drop everything and hang out with her kid. Mike is my favorite guy on the show.
But of course, Jenelle misses Reefer after TWO DAYS of him being in jail so she is going to bail him out. She has to keep it a secret from her mother. Doesn't she know Barbara finds out everything?
Jenelle goes to her friend Amber's house where there is a mattress in the lawn. C-L-A-S-S-Y.
Her plan is that she's not going to be with Reefer until he finds his own place and a job. She's giving him two weeks to change. Reefer's bail is $2,000 and the bondswoman can do it for $200 with a cosigner who is at least 21 years old. Luckily, Amber's boyfriend is there and he says he'll do it. Idiot.
Does it not look like Jenelle has a giant lump on her forehead in this scene? Also, I think she still hasn't showered.
NEXT WEEK on the finale special...breaking news:
Chelsea is incognito.
What...the...fuck?
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Bethenny Ever After: Ice Tourettes (from 3/28)
B's having a girls night in a hotel room and they are discussing about her turning 40. Oh and they are going out to the bar as well. At the bar the general manager comes and sits down. If I were B's husband I wouldn't like how she flirts with guys but at least she was trying to hook up her friends.
Oh my, the girls are dancing.
Julie tried to make a funny joke but I'm just embarrassed for her. Good, that's over.
The next day (or whenever) B get's the call about doing "Skating with the Stars". That was already on, right? I didn't watch it. I don't watch Dancing with the Stars either. Just doesn't interest me.
B talks to Jason about Skating with the Stars and he's worried that she can't skate on ice. They, with Julie discuss it to see if she can do it with her schedule. Of course, Jason is the best husband ever so he is super supportive.
Just the thought of stepping on ice with skates makes bruises appear on my butt.
B and her gay friend Jake go out and she's trying to hook him up with some guys. He's got no "gay-me" according to B. He's flustered at the cute guys. But he gets a number from a guy with big hands and some other guy. B says she will never bring Jason to a gay event because he would be attacked (he's cute and sweet and not homophobic). Jake says "He is gay street meat." Love it.
B meets with Sean, who planned her wedding about doing a 40th birthday party. Looks like he's going to plan it for her. The next day or so, B, Jake and B's friend who was the first awkward dancer on their girls night out check out the venue for the party.
There's a downstairs lounge that has different areas with silver couches and another with gold couches.
B's friend says "That's Snoop Dogg's area!"
I think B would rather have the party upstairs and not because the downstairs Raunch Hole isn't cool "this is where I could do some heroin if I wanted to with Snoop." (Get it right B, Snoop smokes the chronic). They decide they want the party upstairs because for a 40th birthday it is more appropriate.
B and Jason take a walk with Bryn and they discuss her birthday party. She says that she wants 35 maybe 40 people. Jason mentions that he has about 5 couples who he would want to go and B says that would mean she would have to cut people from her list and she feels weird about doing that for HER birthday party. I don't get it. You're rich. What's 10 more people???
She keeps saying she doesn't think it is right to not have some of "my friends at MY birthday party." This really pisses me off about her. Jason's friends were so incredibly nice to her when they went to visit his hometown. They told her she was like family to them now.
I'm glad Jason speaks up and tells B to stop using "I" and "my" all the time. B doesn't really get it. It is hard to really blame her since she didn't have a nice family who supported her or anything. So she really has been alone a lot and everything has always had to be "I" and "me".
GREAT...therapist time. I'm going to take a short nap.
Time to prepare for Skating with the Stars. Trying on skates and an ugly little skating dress. A little boy who is 10 years old is giving B pointers in the store.
B meets her ice skating partner and he says he's going to fling her on the ice today. B is a LOT better than I expected. I mean, I can't even stand in skates and she's already doing some real skating moves.
She starts talking to her partner about how she looked him up and that she saw that he fell and he could have made it to the olympics but because his partner was his girlfriend his head got in the way.
Silence.
B to the camera: "I have ice tourettes."
Awesome.
At the end of the week, B and Jason are going on a double date with Jake and a guy he met the other night, Barry. For some reason Jake is flirting with Jason instead.
They discuss tattoos and Prince Albert piercings (which B has never heard of for some reason). It looks like the date went well. I was bored but it's ok because I'm married.
The episode ends with B and Jason discussing her 40th birthday party. I'm having a hard time paying attention because I'm watching this right before the Teen Mom finale so I'm distracted. LOL. Sorry.
Oh my, the girls are dancing.
Julie tried to make a funny joke but I'm just embarrassed for her. Good, that's over.
The next day (or whenever) B get's the call about doing "Skating with the Stars". That was already on, right? I didn't watch it. I don't watch Dancing with the Stars either. Just doesn't interest me.
B talks to Jason about Skating with the Stars and he's worried that she can't skate on ice. They, with Julie discuss it to see if she can do it with her schedule. Of course, Jason is the best husband ever so he is super supportive.
Just the thought of stepping on ice with skates makes bruises appear on my butt.
B and her gay friend Jake go out and she's trying to hook him up with some guys. He's got no "gay-me" according to B. He's flustered at the cute guys. But he gets a number from a guy with big hands and some other guy. B says she will never bring Jason to a gay event because he would be attacked (he's cute and sweet and not homophobic). Jake says "He is gay street meat." Love it.
B meets with Sean, who planned her wedding about doing a 40th birthday party. Looks like he's going to plan it for her. The next day or so, B, Jake and B's friend who was the first awkward dancer on their girls night out check out the venue for the party.
There's a downstairs lounge that has different areas with silver couches and another with gold couches.
B's friend says "That's Snoop Dogg's area!"
I think B would rather have the party upstairs and not because the downstairs Raunch Hole isn't cool "this is where I could do some heroin if I wanted to with Snoop." (Get it right B, Snoop smokes the chronic). They decide they want the party upstairs because for a 40th birthday it is more appropriate.
B and Jason take a walk with Bryn and they discuss her birthday party. She says that she wants 35 maybe 40 people. Jason mentions that he has about 5 couples who he would want to go and B says that would mean she would have to cut people from her list and she feels weird about doing that for HER birthday party. I don't get it. You're rich. What's 10 more people???
She keeps saying she doesn't think it is right to not have some of "my friends at MY birthday party." This really pisses me off about her. Jason's friends were so incredibly nice to her when they went to visit his hometown. They told her she was like family to them now.
I'm glad Jason speaks up and tells B to stop using "I" and "my" all the time. B doesn't really get it. It is hard to really blame her since she didn't have a nice family who supported her or anything. So she really has been alone a lot and everything has always had to be "I" and "me".
GREAT...therapist time. I'm going to take a short nap.
Time to prepare for Skating with the Stars. Trying on skates and an ugly little skating dress. A little boy who is 10 years old is giving B pointers in the store.
B meets her ice skating partner and he says he's going to fling her on the ice today. B is a LOT better than I expected. I mean, I can't even stand in skates and she's already doing some real skating moves.
She starts talking to her partner about how she looked him up and that she saw that he fell and he could have made it to the olympics but because his partner was his girlfriend his head got in the way.
Silence.
B to the camera: "I have ice tourettes."
Awesome.
At the end of the week, B and Jason are going on a double date with Jake and a guy he met the other night, Barry. For some reason Jake is flirting with Jason instead.
They discuss tattoos and Prince Albert piercings (which B has never heard of for some reason). It looks like the date went well. I was bored but it's ok because I'm married.
The episode ends with B and Jason discussing her 40th birthday party. I'm having a hard time paying attention because I'm watching this right before the Teen Mom finale so I'm distracted. LOL. Sorry.
Bad Girls Club: Wanging in a Slophouse (from 3/21)
Sorry I'm so late with this recap but it is the least popular of all of the shows I recap so I figured it could wait.
I forgot how gross Wilmarie is. I feel like she's walking around in pee soaked shorts and hairy calves.
When they show the girls walking around the house - it is such a mess. How can anyone live like that? Pick up your shit!!!
Jessica's mom calls and Lauren answers the phone. Since Jessica isn't there Lauren asks if she could take a message. Jessica's mom (who sounds like she's a teenager) first wants to know who it is that she's talking to and isn't nice about it. Lauren ends up hanging up on her and I don't blame her.
Char finds out that there is some video online of her and people are making fun of her on the website.
Here is the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-50Vntuc21Y Nothing too exciting except she looks like an idiot and might have a smelly vagina.
Nikki, Lauren and Wilmarie pull the couch outside and watch everyone else leave the house. I don't really get it but I think it was supposed to be some kind of intimidation tactic.
Jenn, Kori, Char and Jessica go out to eat and I'm more annoyed with Jenn's voice than ever. How can anyone be near her?
The girls get home and throw water bottles from the car at the house (apparently aiming at the three girls who are still sitting on the couch outside).
Nikki says something to Jess like "I can't hear you, I don't speak hood rat." Awwwww snap. Nikki keeps saying something in Spanish and luckily Oxygen types it out for us on the screen.
Ya Tu Sabes
Spanish Slang
1. "You already know."
2. "Ya'll know how I do."
I still don't understand what any of that means.
The next day Jenn uses a plunger to rub the dry erase marker off of Wilmarie's picture. Since Wilmarie isn't there to see this, I don't know how it is an insult. In fact, Jenn is probably getting toilet poopie water on her hands from having to lift the plunger up in the air. She's only hurting herself.
Now she's hurting me by making this face:
Nikki's plan to get Jenn out of the house is apparently staring at her.
Kori, Jessica and Char go to a tattoo parlor so Kori can get her giant tramp stamp touched up. The camera does an unfortunate close up of Kori's face.
Back at the house, Nikki, Lauren and Wilmarie decide to gang up on Jenn who is alone. They block her from going up the stairs and walk really close to her. The camera does an unfortunate close up of Lauren's ass in a bright blue romper while picking her wedge.
The girls are telling Jenn that they are going to pack up her things. Jenn in her wailing nasal voice says "I'm not trash, I'm not trash. I was raised with class sweetie." Sure. I believe you. You're from Jersey.
Loud obnoxious yelling. Wilmarie basically dry humping Jenn and then Nikki pushing Jenn. The three bullies are packing all of Jenn's things and taking them down to the bottom of the driveway. Jenn packs up the rest of her things Angelina-style in trash bags and leaves. Not before Oxygen gives us a montage of her annoying voice.
Jessica thinks that Jenn is being weak by leaving without punching anyone because she thinks Italians are supposed to stand up for themselves.
Jessica found out about Lauren hanging up on her mother so she asks Lauren about it while less than a half inch from her face. I can smell the halitosis.
Char is going out on a date with Eric, a guy from the tattoo parlor. She talks and talks and talks and talks and throws in the middle "I don't like Hitler."
This is their first date and she asks "Do you believe in marriage?" His answer is "Mmm...I'd get married but I don't believe in it." He doesn't trust women. At least he spoke a few words during the dinner.
Nikki is drunk and confronts Jessica about how she walked Jenn to the car and said she was her friend but then when she left, she drew all over Jenn's photo on the wall.
Jessica keeps using the word "wang" to mean "punch" or "fight" I think. Kori used this word too, last week. Where I come from wang is either a part of a name in an Asian restaurant or a penis.
Nikki starts a verbal fight with Jessica but on their way upstairs to get in this "wang" Lauren is yelling at the top of her lungs so Jessica confronts her first. Jessica pushes Lauren first and then they start fighting. Oh wait, wanging. Jessica throws Lauren down by her hair and starts punching her while she's down.
A crew member pulls Jessica away and Nikki comes over and punches Jessica in the face while she's being held back. WEAK!
Nikki goes downstairs and basically apologizes to Jessica. Lauren overhears it and is crying about it.
The next night everyone heads out to a place called The Parlor. Nikki and Jessica are looking like BFFs.
There is a live band playing and Char thinks one of the member is cute. He and his twin brother come to the girls' table and give their phone numbers. Back at the house Lauren found the piece of paper with the number on it and she hides it. Suddenly Wilmarie seems to be BFFs with Char and is trying to help her find it.
Looks like Wilmarie's turning to Char's side next week and for some reason they are playing dodgeball.
I forgot how gross Wilmarie is. I feel like she's walking around in pee soaked shorts and hairy calves.
When they show the girls walking around the house - it is such a mess. How can anyone live like that? Pick up your shit!!!
Jessica's mom calls and Lauren answers the phone. Since Jessica isn't there Lauren asks if she could take a message. Jessica's mom (who sounds like she's a teenager) first wants to know who it is that she's talking to and isn't nice about it. Lauren ends up hanging up on her and I don't blame her.
Char finds out that there is some video online of her and people are making fun of her on the website.
Here is the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-50Vntuc21Y Nothing too exciting except she looks like an idiot and might have a smelly vagina.
Nikki, Lauren and Wilmarie pull the couch outside and watch everyone else leave the house. I don't really get it but I think it was supposed to be some kind of intimidation tactic.
Jenn, Kori, Char and Jessica go out to eat and I'm more annoyed with Jenn's voice than ever. How can anyone be near her?
The girls get home and throw water bottles from the car at the house (apparently aiming at the three girls who are still sitting on the couch outside).
Nikki says something to Jess like "I can't hear you, I don't speak hood rat." Awwwww snap. Nikki keeps saying something in Spanish and luckily Oxygen types it out for us on the screen.
Ya Tu Sabes
Spanish Slang
1. "You already know."
2. "Ya'll know how I do."
I still don't understand what any of that means.
The next day Jenn uses a plunger to rub the dry erase marker off of Wilmarie's picture. Since Wilmarie isn't there to see this, I don't know how it is an insult. In fact, Jenn is probably getting toilet poopie water on her hands from having to lift the plunger up in the air. She's only hurting herself.
Now she's hurting me by making this face:
Nikki's plan to get Jenn out of the house is apparently staring at her.
Kori, Jessica and Char go to a tattoo parlor so Kori can get her giant tramp stamp touched up. The camera does an unfortunate close up of Kori's face.
Back at the house, Nikki, Lauren and Wilmarie decide to gang up on Jenn who is alone. They block her from going up the stairs and walk really close to her. The camera does an unfortunate close up of Lauren's ass in a bright blue romper while picking her wedge.
The girls are telling Jenn that they are going to pack up her things. Jenn in her wailing nasal voice says "I'm not trash, I'm not trash. I was raised with class sweetie." Sure. I believe you. You're from Jersey.
Loud obnoxious yelling. Wilmarie basically dry humping Jenn and then Nikki pushing Jenn. The three bullies are packing all of Jenn's things and taking them down to the bottom of the driveway. Jenn packs up the rest of her things Angelina-style in trash bags and leaves. Not before Oxygen gives us a montage of her annoying voice.
Jessica thinks that Jenn is being weak by leaving without punching anyone because she thinks Italians are supposed to stand up for themselves.
Jessica found out about Lauren hanging up on her mother so she asks Lauren about it while less than a half inch from her face. I can smell the halitosis.
Char is going out on a date with Eric, a guy from the tattoo parlor. She talks and talks and talks and talks and throws in the middle "I don't like Hitler."
This is their first date and she asks "Do you believe in marriage?" His answer is "Mmm...I'd get married but I don't believe in it." He doesn't trust women. At least he spoke a few words during the dinner.
Nikki is drunk and confronts Jessica about how she walked Jenn to the car and said she was her friend but then when she left, she drew all over Jenn's photo on the wall.
Jessica keeps using the word "wang" to mean "punch" or "fight" I think. Kori used this word too, last week. Where I come from wang is either a part of a name in an Asian restaurant or a penis.
Nikki starts a verbal fight with Jessica but on their way upstairs to get in this "wang" Lauren is yelling at the top of her lungs so Jessica confronts her first. Jessica pushes Lauren first and then they start fighting. Oh wait, wanging. Jessica throws Lauren down by her hair and starts punching her while she's down.
A crew member pulls Jessica away and Nikki comes over and punches Jessica in the face while she's being held back. WEAK!
Nikki goes downstairs and basically apologizes to Jessica. Lauren overhears it and is crying about it.
The next night everyone heads out to a place called The Parlor. Nikki and Jessica are looking like BFFs.
There is a live band playing and Char thinks one of the member is cute. He and his twin brother come to the girls' table and give their phone numbers. Back at the house Lauren found the piece of paper with the number on it and she hides it. Suddenly Wilmarie seems to be BFFs with Char and is trying to help her find it.
Looks like Wilmarie's turning to Char's side next week and for some reason they are playing dodgeball.
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Real Housewives of OC: Where's the Beef? I mean...Where's the Salad? (from 3/27)
Tamra is headed to Cabo with Vicki for a vacation. This should be fun. Watching Tamra's face not move and listening to Vicki say "woo hoo" or raving about insurance.
The place where they are staying is beautiful. They do tequila shots in the wrong order. It takes them three tries to get it correctly.
They go out for dinner and I feel bad for the waiter because they are just talking to him way too much. Vicki is giving Tamra a homework assignment to do about friendship. She must have been talking to the Atlanta ladies about their friendship contracts.
Ok they order salads for dinner and what is brought to them are NOT salads. One is a terra cotta cup that is smaller than a coffee mug and has lettuce stuffed in it. The other is a stack of tomatoes and mozzarella. They need to talk to Elaine Benes about ordering a "big salad".
Even worse, we find out that there are raw fish on Vicki's Caesar salad.
Sunbathing time the next day and discussions about last season's fighting. Didn't I say last week that they need to stop talking about LAST season and come up with some new drama?
Tamra talks about how she's having "fun sex" because Eddie is so hot. No. He's gross. And it is gross thinking about her having sex. She says that they had sex for five hours to Lady Gaga. Ok he's gay and pretending that she's a man I think. And who has sex for five hours? Dry vag much? Charlie horses? All set.
And with Lady Gaga in the background? I'd rather have Vicki stand behind a curtain and yell "Woo hoo".
Now Tamra contemplates getting vaginal rejuvenation and she calls it a va-jay-jay. She needs to stop using catch phrases that are not only overused but from a few years ago! Earlier she said "Hell to the no". Tamra STOP.
Oh no, now Tamra is requesting that people do body shots off of her. GROW UP TAMRA! 18 year old girls who need attention and really drunk bachelorette party attendees do this. Not someone in your 40s. She's really, really annoying. She says (in interview) that "While in Cabo, do as the Cabonians do." Someone please muzzle this woman immediately.
Vicki is embarrassed and rightfully so - telling Tamra that she's a mother of four. THAT thought didn't even cross my mind. I would have to move to another country where Bravo doesn't come in if that were my mother.
Tamra is hungover at night and they are talking on the balcony. Tamra's wearing a bedazzled hat but it isn't the one with the evil eye. She looks super manly tonight.
They discuss their friendship and Tamra says the phrase "you're so boss." Did she pick up a book called "Overused Catch Phrases"? All she has to do is say "What happens in Cabo, stays in Cabo" and this week will be complete.
Gretchen is meeting with Alexis for drinks and they both have so much makeup on that I feel like I need to go wash my own face right now.
They discuss marriage and how Gretchen is afraid of it since her first marriage failed and then her fiance died.
Alexis says that she was married before Jim and even though that is biblically wrong, her god is forgiving. So it is ok to break the rules because all is forgiven no matter what? Sounds crazy to me. To each their own.
Anyway, Gretchen mentions how she wants to have kids someday. Alexis says "I know you'll get pregnant out of wedlock." Why would she say that? Judgemental much?
Alexis is starting a dress line like every other housewife. All you have to do is find a designer and tell her what you like. And this designer has a face that is even more frozen than Tamra's so I guess Alexis doesn't have to worry about her giving her dirty looks when she doesn't agree.
Peggy is helping out with a documentary about post-partum depression. I have depression (unrelated to having a baby) so I actually felt proud of Peggy for talking about all of it. Some of the things she said are really difficult to admit and she's doing this on television. She went the holistic route because she tries to stay away from prescription drugs so I can't relate there, but this was actually a refreshingly truthful segment of this show. I can't say anything bad about her. Right now anyway.
Peggy and her family are going to Palm Springs for a little vacation. I'm sure the babies love lounging on a bed in the sun. The dad takes the older daughter, London in the pool while Peggy eats something really gross shaped like Vicki's salad in Cabo. She casually says to her other daughter Capri (who is like 1) something about making sure she takes the knife away.
All of the sudden there is blood all over the baby. I'm not talking prom night for Carrie White, but there are big drops of blood on her. Peggy just keeps saying "Oh my god, oh my god, where are you bleeding from? Are you ok? Oh my god." The baby isn't noticing a thing but Peggy making such a big deal about this is going to teach this little girl to be terrified at the sight of blood!
Apparently it wasn't the knife, it was a frame of some sort. Peggy is flipping out and insists that they need to go to the hospital because Capri cut her finger slightly. Is this how hypochondria starts?
At the hospital Capri doesn't even get a band aid. Peggy's husband (in interview) says how with Peggy's post-partum anxiety and depression, she doesn't just pop a pill and say I'm fine, it's a gradual process. Hey fuckhead - those of us who "pop pills" don't immediately feel fine either and it is a lifelong process. Moving on...
Gretchen takes her dad out to lunch and the waitress introduces herself as "Sam". Somehow, Gretchen's father thinks it is appropriate to say "S & M?" Gross dude. You're old, you're married, you're sitting with your daughter, you're embarrassing the waitress and you're on television. So many things wrong.
Her dad doesn't seem to like Slade but Gretchen wants kids so apparently she's willing to be with Slade Smiley just so she can have kids. Awesome decision making.
The place where they are staying is beautiful. They do tequila shots in the wrong order. It takes them three tries to get it correctly.
They go out for dinner and I feel bad for the waiter because they are just talking to him way too much. Vicki is giving Tamra a homework assignment to do about friendship. She must have been talking to the Atlanta ladies about their friendship contracts.
Ok they order salads for dinner and what is brought to them are NOT salads. One is a terra cotta cup that is smaller than a coffee mug and has lettuce stuffed in it. The other is a stack of tomatoes and mozzarella. They need to talk to Elaine Benes about ordering a "big salad".
Even worse, we find out that there are raw fish on Vicki's Caesar salad.
Sunbathing time the next day and discussions about last season's fighting. Didn't I say last week that they need to stop talking about LAST season and come up with some new drama?
Tamra talks about how she's having "fun sex" because Eddie is so hot. No. He's gross. And it is gross thinking about her having sex. She says that they had sex for five hours to Lady Gaga. Ok he's gay and pretending that she's a man I think. And who has sex for five hours? Dry vag much? Charlie horses? All set.
And with Lady Gaga in the background? I'd rather have Vicki stand behind a curtain and yell "Woo hoo".
Now Tamra contemplates getting vaginal rejuvenation and she calls it a va-jay-jay. She needs to stop using catch phrases that are not only overused but from a few years ago! Earlier she said "Hell to the no". Tamra STOP.
Oh no, now Tamra is requesting that people do body shots off of her. GROW UP TAMRA! 18 year old girls who need attention and really drunk bachelorette party attendees do this. Not someone in your 40s. She's really, really annoying. She says (in interview) that "While in Cabo, do as the Cabonians do." Someone please muzzle this woman immediately.
Vicki is embarrassed and rightfully so - telling Tamra that she's a mother of four. THAT thought didn't even cross my mind. I would have to move to another country where Bravo doesn't come in if that were my mother.
Tamra is hungover at night and they are talking on the balcony. Tamra's wearing a bedazzled hat but it isn't the one with the evil eye. She looks super manly tonight.
They discuss their friendship and Tamra says the phrase "you're so boss." Did she pick up a book called "Overused Catch Phrases"? All she has to do is say "What happens in Cabo, stays in Cabo" and this week will be complete.
Gretchen is meeting with Alexis for drinks and they both have so much makeup on that I feel like I need to go wash my own face right now.
They discuss marriage and how Gretchen is afraid of it since her first marriage failed and then her fiance died.
Alexis says that she was married before Jim and even though that is biblically wrong, her god is forgiving. So it is ok to break the rules because all is forgiven no matter what? Sounds crazy to me. To each their own.
Anyway, Gretchen mentions how she wants to have kids someday. Alexis says "I know you'll get pregnant out of wedlock." Why would she say that? Judgemental much?
Alexis is starting a dress line like every other housewife. All you have to do is find a designer and tell her what you like. And this designer has a face that is even more frozen than Tamra's so I guess Alexis doesn't have to worry about her giving her dirty looks when she doesn't agree.
Peggy is helping out with a documentary about post-partum depression. I have depression (unrelated to having a baby) so I actually felt proud of Peggy for talking about all of it. Some of the things she said are really difficult to admit and she's doing this on television. She went the holistic route because she tries to stay away from prescription drugs so I can't relate there, but this was actually a refreshingly truthful segment of this show. I can't say anything bad about her. Right now anyway.
Peggy and her family are going to Palm Springs for a little vacation. I'm sure the babies love lounging on a bed in the sun. The dad takes the older daughter, London in the pool while Peggy eats something really gross shaped like Vicki's salad in Cabo. She casually says to her other daughter Capri (who is like 1) something about making sure she takes the knife away.
All of the sudden there is blood all over the baby. I'm not talking prom night for Carrie White, but there are big drops of blood on her. Peggy just keeps saying "Oh my god, oh my god, where are you bleeding from? Are you ok? Oh my god." The baby isn't noticing a thing but Peggy making such a big deal about this is going to teach this little girl to be terrified at the sight of blood!
Apparently it wasn't the knife, it was a frame of some sort. Peggy is flipping out and insists that they need to go to the hospital because Capri cut her finger slightly. Is this how hypochondria starts?
At the hospital Capri doesn't even get a band aid. Peggy's husband (in interview) says how with Peggy's post-partum anxiety and depression, she doesn't just pop a pill and say I'm fine, it's a gradual process. Hey fuckhead - those of us who "pop pills" don't immediately feel fine either and it is a lifelong process. Moving on...
Gretchen takes her dad out to lunch and the waitress introduces herself as "Sam". Somehow, Gretchen's father thinks it is appropriate to say "S & M?" Gross dude. You're old, you're married, you're sitting with your daughter, you're embarrassing the waitress and you're on television. So many things wrong.
Her dad doesn't seem to like Slade but Gretchen wants kids so apparently she's willing to be with Slade Smiley just so she can have kids. Awesome decision making.
Jenelle from Teen Mom in a Fight - Another Reason to Hate Her
What a wonderful influence this girl is on her son?
WATCH THE VIDEO ON THIS LINK
http://www.tmz.com/2011/03/25/teen-mom-2-jenelle-evans-catfight-video-footage-britany-truett-fist-brawl/
WATCH THE VIDEO ON THIS LINK
http://www.tmz.com/2011/03/25/teen-mom-2-jenelle-evans-catfight-video-footage-britany-truett-fist-brawl/
All 3 Girls In 'Teen Mom' Brawl Charged
All three girls involved in the crazy "Teen Mom" fight TMZ first posted last week have been officially charged with crimes ... TMZ has learned.
Jenelle Evans, Britany Truett and Brittany Maggard have been charged with misdemeanor affray -- disorderly conduct by fighting in a public place.
TMZ posted the story earlier that the girls were arrested, but now the Brunswick County D.A.'s Office has officially charged all 3.
If convicted, all 3 face a maximum of 60 days in jail.
Jenelle Evans, Britany Truett and Brittany Maggard have been charged with misdemeanor affray -- disorderly conduct by fighting in a public place.
TMZ posted the story earlier that the girls were arrested, but now the Brunswick County D.A.'s Office has officially charged all 3.
If convicted, all 3 face a maximum of 60 days in jail.
Upcoming Recaps
The Bad Girls Club (from 3/21 and 3/28)
The Real Housewives of Orange County (from 3/27)
Bethenny Ever After (from 3/28)
Teen Mom 2 Season Finale (from 3/29)
Survivor Redemption Island (from 3/30)
Jersey Shore Reunion Special (from 3/31)
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