Bad Girls Club: Classin' It Up (from 3/14)

I wonder if there is going to be some maturity, quiet ladies and awesome makeup in this episode?

Kori says that if Ashley walks back into the Bad Girls house she's going to "pretty much wang her". Wang? Like Everybody Wang Chung tonight?

No wanging is going to happen though because Ashley is going home.

Jessica is picking up her brother Aaron at the airport. He is married so why is he visiting his sister at the Bad Girls Club? Jessica shows him around the house, including the bathroom and the "bombay". Yeah, that's a bidet.

Orange Jenn is on the phone with her boyfriend saying that her biggest pet peeve is when people talk about people behind their back...as she's talking about people behind their back. Her boyfriend is not really listening and says he has to go so that he can go eat some Subway.

The girls and Aaron, "minus the dweebs" (Mature Char's words...who says dweeb??) are going out to dinner to a nice restaurant. Aaron's wearing a classy t-shirt for the occasion that says something like "No one can take a Mexican". Jenn is in a puffy dress and she swears and argues with everyone at the table. I really hope this isn't actually a nice restaurant.

Either the Bad Girls house has some super fast handymen or Oxygen fucked up on the editing. When Jenn was on the phone with her boyfriend earlier, they focused in on the broken door handles to the phone room that someone attempted to use packing tape to fix.  However, tonight Nicki is on the phone and when she closes the doors for privacy the handles are intact and no tape in sight.

Everyone goes out for the night...puffy dress, married classy shirt guy, Lauren Lips, the whole gang! There are some scrubby Chippendales there for some reason - Fauxpendales? GenericChippens? Whatever...some are missing teeth and others have some belly rolls. Lauren licks alcohol off of one of their chests and I imagine it tasted like sweat and cologne.

When dancing, Jenn starts making the "oooah? oooah?" sound (you know...like that squawk people make when they are raising the roof?) But she sounds like a pelican that has been harmed in some way.

Aaron is wasted and flirting with the girls. He also can barely walk. Back at the house he walks around in some tighty blue-ies and white sandals. He jumps into bed with Kori. Then in the middle of the night he gets up, takes his underwear off and lays on the floor. The next morning Kori said that he peed in Jessica's bed.

SHUT THE FUCK UP! He's an adult, a married man and gets so drunk while on TV that he pees in his sister's bed and then sleeps naked on the floor. I'm so mortified for his wife. I hope they don't have kids.

The next night or a couple nights later the girls take a limo to go out. The limo driver stops on the way to the bar and they are picking up the new roommate. Her name is Wilmarie, she's not good looking and she's wearing a hideous dress. Hideous. She also doesn't know how to disguse her cankles by wearing certain shoes.

Of course, no one is welcoming. She tells Jenn that where she's from in New Jersey is about 20 minutes away from where Jenn is from. Luckily Oxygen shows us a map to explain. Jenn says she lives in North Jersey and that South Jersey is dirty. However, on the map Wilmare is right, its about 20 minutes away from her...far from "south" Jersey.

At the bar Jenn suddenly looks like she has had a stroke and she's talking out of only one side of her mouth.

Nicki just said "haterade", did one of the armpit fart things with her hand and the new girl tells Lauren to remind her to pee because she WILL piss herself. Oooah! Oooah!

Back at the house we have a better view of Wilmarie's dress and it is even more hideous than I first thought.

While pouring four shots for the new girl, Char announces to her that she farted. On the way up the stairs Char tells her that she's glad that she's 27 like her and hopes she's not immature. Maybe she thinks that not admitting when you fart is immature?

Willy and Jenn are fighting and Jenn is calling her a replacement even though Jenn herself just replaced someone two weeks ago. Willy's dress is so damn ugly I can't get past it.

Jenn is one of those people who thinks that the louder she is, the tougher she is. She also says how she's got class. Anyone who has to tell people that they are classy is NOT classy. That's like how you know they aren't...when they say it.

Willy threatens to throw Jenn in the dumpster and Jenn's response is "Oh with my fuckin' Gucci and everything?" and Willy says it is fake. But wait, Jenn is classy...its real Gucci. We know this because she tells the other girls that she's classy and has real Gucci. Sure Jenn...and that isn't a Member's Only jacket you're wearing in the narrative interviews.

Willy takes off her underwear and pees in the bed. How is it that no one can control their bladder?

Jessica talks to her mother and she tells her that Aaron's wife isn't living at home anymore. GOOD! Who wants to be married to a man that goes on the Bad Girls Club and wets the bed? In the hot tub later Jessica tells the other girls that she hasn't been able to set foot in her brother's house for three years - apparently his wife didn't allow it.

The next day Nicki and Willy are at the Pink Taco discussing the fact that Jenn is their target to get out of the house. When they come back we see that Willy is wearing ugly ass skin tight pants. WTF? She has a plastic bag that says "Fucci" on it and she's talking with a valley girl voice in the confessional. This makes no sense since she and Jenn are both from Jersey and have Jersey accents.

Nicki thinks she's insulting Jenn by calling her "weak sauce". How old is she again?

Willy and her ugly pants are drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. Gross.

Nicki, Willy and Lauren hang up pieces of paper that say WEAK on it all over the house. Oh snap, burn!!