Please don't let Char talk about being mature this week. I can't handle it. I would also wish that Lauren Lips to stop putting her hair in that ugly side braid but she's already on the screen with her side braid.
A new roommate is coming - Jennifer from Jersey. She does NOT look cute. In the confessional room her nose looks dark brown and the rest of her skin is somewhat orange.
Oh my god I'm so distracted by her orange skin. Her name is Tangerine from now on.
Anyway - Mature Full Grown Char has already explained to the new girl that Nikki and Lauren Lips are basically losers. I'm so glad she's grown up this week.
Nikki has a guy friend come to visit and he looks a little like Ashley. He definitely looks more girly than Nikki does.
Tangerine is explaining that she is obsessed with Playboy, she sleeps on silk sheets, she auditioned, was half naked at the Playboy mansion and basically just admitted she has some kind of STD because she has been in the Grotto.
Getting ready to go out we actually get to see Lauren Lips applying her lip stick/gloss all the way around her mouth. Why does she think she only has one giant lip. YOU HAVE TWO SEPARATE LIPS!
Tangerine has a dress on that actually should be a shirt because I can see her underwear. She meets up with a Playboy producer so now the girls are in the VIP section with a bunch of ugly Playmates. Ashley and Tangerine start making out with the ugly girls. Whatever happened to having good looking Playmates? Hef must be losing his eyesight.
In the limo on the way home, Char is representing her mature self by yelling and clapping at the same time. She continues yelling and clapping in the house and somehow Jessica gets involved and it looks like she punches Lauren Lips in the head. Char is by far the most childish of them all.
Kori shows the girls her modeling/Playboy photos. Someone says "They are so classy!" while looking at a shot of Kori in a red bra and underwear with her legs spread wide open. Where did these people learn what the words "mature" and "classy" mean?
Because someone lied to them.
Nikki and Lips head out to the bar with the red Jeep. They plan to leave it downtown and take a cab home. So the next morning Nikki and Lips take the black jeep downtown so the rest of the girls are left with no vehicles.
The Playboy guy calls the house to invite Ashley, Kori and Tangerine to do some test shots for Playboy. Char is jealous. Tangerine calls her boyfriend and tells him she's going to do an interview at Playboy...yeah, I'm pretty sure they don't give a shit what you say, Tangerine. And when they see your orange skin, they probably won't care how you look either.
Ok wait, they ARE interviewing them before they take their clothes off. I stand corrected. Ashley is clearly the best looking one and it looks like when they girls leave, the producers think the same thing. Tangerine and Kori are going to be pissed.
Back at the house Lips is instigating Char and she throws some kind if liquid at her. Char does nothing except say "Rotate". I think she's missing part of that insult, right? I mean, telling someone to rotate isn't really a "bad girl" thing. She's essentially telling them "Turn around!" That's not scary, Char.
Nikki and Lips are hanging out in the phone room. Char comes in to make a phone call and Lips hangs up the phone so Char is screaming about an inch from Lips' lips. She then throws an empty can directly at her head.
Lips' retaliation is to throw Char's mattress out the window. She must be on steroids because she does it all by herself. Char comes to yell at her and says not to touch her as she's pointing her finger in Lips' face and ends up smacking her in the forehead. Now they are sort of fighting with each other. I never know when the line is crossed on this show.
Char is crying and feels so wonderful about herself because she didn't fight back. For a reward, Tangerine and Jessica carry the mattress upstairs for her.
Char is happy to be going out with the "mature girls in the house" which includes the three that just auditioned for Playboy. Seriously, someone needs to get them a dictionary.
Tangerine is getting wasted in her shit-brown Member's Only jacket. Back at the house she is acting insane. I think she's now auditioning for a mental institution. She's got that in the bag!
She has taken off her top and is walking around in a bathing suit bottom and knee socks. She punches Nikki's light up picture (all the girls have one on the wall) and says she's happy she punched the picture so she doesn't have to stare at Nikki's picture all the time. Well, just avert your eyes, idiot. Why are you staring at a picture of Nikki all the time?
Char is in the kitchen with Jessica and says she has self control but she will use Tangerine as a pawn.
Tangerine is still screaming topless.
This episode was junk. This season has pretty much been junk. Thank goodness for Jersey Shore & Teen Mom.
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