Survivor: Redemption Island: Some Ugly Feet (from 4/6)

Everyone looks like a demon in the night vision shots.

And here we go on Raw Sewage Island...a snake in the first shot.

Sarita arrives at Matt's place but he's not wearing his face mask. Maybe he is used to the raw sewage smell or has decided against the bank robbery.

The orange/yellow tribe gets their tree mail that says the entire tribe is attending the duel so they are assuming they are merging. They pack up their things so they don't get stuck moving to the new beach and having to leave everything behind.

The morning of the duel, Matt shows us the bottom of his foot where he has a cut. Warning - here's the picture again. Gross.

Jeff doesn't say that they will merge - he just says that the winner of this duel will be returning to the game.

Luckily for Matt, this duel doesn't involve his feet...oh wait. It involves being barefoot standing on a teeny tiny foot hold so that edge with his cut is going to be scraped up right against the side. What are the odds? He should have kept his mouth shut about the cut, maybe the duel would have been different. Conspiracy????  Hope he has a bandaid.

And doesn't that look like a non-hairy hobbit foot?

It looks like he has a little ace bandage. Or maybe it is part of his bank robbing/sewage blocking mask. Either way, it will help him out.

Jeff asks Phillip about something and he blabs on and on about the samurai or something. 22 minutes has passed even though they were only supposed to be on the ledge for 15 minutes.

The foot holds get smaller as they go down. There is no time limit on the final bottom foot hold. It is about an 8th of an inch of wood. Matt's right pinky toe is actually BIGGER than the foot hold.

Matt is struggling. Sarita was looking good but suddenly she's feeling pain. She drops out. It had to go this way because if Matt had lost he would have probably sued Survivor for screwing him over with that challenge.

Sarita goes home burning her "buff" on the way. Ugh. When he says drop your buff in the fire on the way out my mind doesn't go to the little bandana.

Jeff tells them that they are merged and they are going to a new beach. Also, after the next tribal council, Raw Sewage Island begins again.

At the new beach there is a ton of food. I wonder if there is another clue for a new immunity idol since they are in a new place?

They talk about naming the new tribe and Rob says that Murlonio means "from the sea united". Everyone loves it and thinks it is so beautiful.  Rob tells the camera in interview that his wife (Amber) has a lot of stuffed animals and the ring leader is Murlonio. Awesome.

Everyone is working hard to build their shelter and I get to get some chills again when a spider is on the screen.

People are starting to scheme already to get Matt and Andrea on their team.

Matt and Andrea discuss strategy in the middle of the night so it is like two demons making secret plans.
Matt wants to blindside his old tribe and Andrea isn't too sure about it yet.

The pink bible is out the next day and some god talk is going on. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If there is a higher power and he or she is working on helping one of these assholes win a million dollars instead of helping sick and starving people in the world SOMETHING IS WRONG.

Time for the immunity challenge. It involves balancing balls on a platter while standing on a log. Phillip is already rocking back and forth. Standing on a log is hard, dude.

Julie falls first.

Now they add another ball. I'm sure anyone who has waited tables before would be good at this but how knows.

Ashley is out next, David's balls drop too. he he

Third ball now. The last person standing with all of their balls wins. Andrea is out. Grant is out next and I no longer have a crush on him because he has black toenails. No amount of dreads can make up for that.

Matt and Rob fall out of the challenge. Phillip drops his.

Mike, Steve, Natalie and Ralph are left.

Ralph's out. Steve's out.

Jeff says that Mike has no movement at all "It's like those balls are glued to his dick."

Ok he said "disc" but wouldn't that have been better if he said dick instead?  They all would have dropped their balls at that point.

Mike lost his balance so Natalie wins. I think she was one of the lazy armpit girls from the yellow/orange tribe.

Rob and Matt are sitting on some rocks and Matt is going on about his god again. This is a GAME SHOW!  Anyway, Matt tells Rob that he had been thinking about joining with the other team and getting rid of Rob. WHY DID HE DO THAT? Idiot. But, he does tell Rob that he changed his mind and is staying with his original tribe. Maybe his god whispered in his ear right before he headed off to a taping of the Price is Right.

As they are talking the camera pans to some of the girls coming out of the ocean. Obviously the girl is just adjusting her boobs and maybe squeezing some water out from the bathing suit top but it really looks like she's nude and playing with her own boobies.

Holy shit, a giant snake on the beach and a crazy looking frog - VOTE ME OUT NOW! But not to Raw Sewage Island where there are more snakes, frogs and spiders. HOME.

Mike slips Matt a note that says "Vote for Grant and I'll take you to the final three."

I can't keep track of who is voting for Matt and who is voting for Grant. I'd rather not hurt my brain since we'll find out within the next 12 minutes.

David complains that the other tribe slept under the tarps last night when the rest of them got soaked with the rain.  Ashley (boob grabbing girl I think) says that they were the ones who won the tarps so why wouldn't they use them? David says that they "won" in quotation marks...I guess that was the challenge that they threw to get rid of Russell.

Phillip says "Jeff, that's the distinction between the two tribes..." David interrupts with "Oh please!" I don't know if he's learned about Phillip's loony ways yet but we're in for another speech. I'm actually going to rewind and put it on closed captions so I can repeat his little speech.

"We would never not try and here's what I'd like to say about that, Jeff.  There are some in that tribe like deceipt. Which would be beautiful and glorious but as you know when it received outward it sometimes leave the stench so great that you know that its probably carrying something parasitic and therefore you don't want to approach it."

I'm with everyone else that just read that...HUH?

Everyone laughs.

Time for the voting which I fast forward through because I seriously don't need to see each person walk up to the podium and put their paper in.

After someone on the staff (or Jeff) fixes the papers in the bucket so as to build drama, Jeff comes back and asks if anyone wants to use their immunity idol. Hairy Ralph gets up and decides to play it for Mike? I have no idea why he just wasted that.  There is probably not one vote for Mike.

I honestly want Matt to go back to Raw Sewage Island.

Five votes immediately for Grant. One for Steve. Then Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt. Woo hoo the final vote is for Matt so he's going back to the island.

I'm assuming all of the orange/yellow tribe voted for Matt, the other team all voted for Grant and Matt voted for Steve.

On Sewage Island Matt is still talking about his god. Sorry dude, he must have been busy helping someone pick the right letters on Wheel of Fortune. Better luck next week.