This says it all:
Caroline, Jacqueline, Teresa and some others are carving pumpkins because it is near Halloween. A family friend, Dolores, has heard rumors about the christening and wants to know what really happened. Not sure why she's asking Teresa, though.
Inside the men are gossiping about it too and Joe calls Joe Gorga (Melissa's Joe) a "little midget". Pot meet kettle!
Caroline thinks Teresa needs to talk to her brother to smooth things out, especially because there is a fashion show coming up and they will all be there. She's trying to give Teresa adult advice but you know Teresa isn't going to listen.
Teresa tells us in interview that she's the matriarch of her family. I actually scoffed at that...and I've never used the word "scoffed" in reference to myself before.
Melissa and Joe are going to Kathy and Rich's house for dinner to talk about the fiasco.
Is it cold in the house?
Melissa and Joe were upset that Teresa and Joe were acting fake at the christening by dancing with the baby on the dance floor, looking like they were a great and caring aunt and uncle. Normal human beings with a maturity level past the age of 18 would have just smiled and faked it too since this was a religious celebration and there were children around. But then how would they get on TV? They MUST pound on the tables, threaten to fight each other, swear and throw fits if they want to be famous.
While telling the story Joe says about Teresa: "I looked at her. I looked at her with my eyes..." That should have settled everything. If someone looks at you with their eyes you better back the fuck up! If they look with their elbows, you're safe.
Kathy and Rich hit the nail on the head (or the fist on the table...whatever analogy you're more comfortable with..lamb and tunafish?) when they said that Teresa used to put her brother Joe on this pedestal and just bragged about everything he did. Teresa's husband Joe obviously felt inferior and has since (in the last 9 years) felt like he had to tear Joe Gorga down. For some reason he does this via Teresa and Joe's father. Why does the father listen to his brother-in-law bad mouth his own son?
Apparently all of the RH of NJ are contractually obligated to shop at Posche, Kim D's teeny tiny boutique. This is the fashion show that Caroline mentioned earlier. Teresa and Jacqueline are walking in the show and now in a strangely bad voice over edit, Kim D asks Melissa to also walk in the show.
While at the shop, Kim G comes by because she would never miss out on an opportunity to be on the show even though she wasn't chosen to be a housewife. She meets Melissa for the first time and immediately asks her about what happened at the christening. Balls, Kim G...you got balls. Rude ones.
Kim G bad mouths Teresa and calls her an old lady. Isn't Kim G old enough to be Teresa's mom?
Caroline's daughter Lauren started a little makeup line/beauty bar type thing. She's doing the makeup for the Posche fashion show. Last year's Posche show was when Ashley pulled Danielle's hair out.
Its Halloween and Teresa is running around her bedroom in some kind of costume calling herself "Super T". This is the bedroom of someone who filed bankruptcy in the last year:
I think that mirror probably costs more than my entire house.
Three of her girls are dressing up as rock stars and Audriana is a lesbian.
Melissa thinks she's dressed as a cat but she's really just wearing tight black leather and some ears. Joe is dressing up as Teresa.
Ok maybe it is Snooki.
They arrive at Kathy and Rich's house before going to a party and they've also invited Kim D. Kim D has a blonde wig on and she announces that her costume is a "half a hooker". Ok what half? Kim G is tagging along (surprise, surprise) and she also thinks she's dressed as a cat except she has a tank top on and has drawn whiskers on her face.
They go to a club and I really feel like most of them are way too old to be at a club. *cough Kathy, Kim G cough*. WHAT is Kathy dressed as?
Teresa is talking to Jacqueline about how she's going to say hi to Melissa at the fashion show. As if she's the "bigger person". Neither of them are the bigger person.
Melissa is talking to Kathy about it and saying that Teresa ruined her child's party. How insane is that statement? Teresa was being fake nice - yes that sucks but Melissa and Joe's reaction to it was what ruined the party. Come on now.
Fashion show time. Melissa is getting her makeup done and as soon as Teresa walks in she goes over to her and says hi and kisses her on the cheek. Come on now.
While Caroline is making small talk with Melissa and Kathy, Teresa starts whining "CAROLIIINNE!" How is it that I used to not hate Teresa?
Kim G shows up and Teresa cannot stop staring at her while she talks to Melissa, Kathy and Melissa's sisters. She knows that the NJ Chapter of Teresa Haters has just been created. Teresa makes a comment that Kim G is like 77 years old. If that is the case, I've changed my mind on getting plastic surgery someday because she does NOT look 77. Of course - she's not 77, she's 54.
Kim D stands up to kick off the show. Is it still Halloween? Because I think she's still half a hooker.
When it is time for Melissa to walk the runway, she has all of her "fans" standing up, whistling, taking pictures. It looks like pervert row at a strip club.
Kim D has Melissa walk twice down the runway. Trying to get someone to make it rain?
When Teresa is introduced Kim G who is so mature for a 54 year old asks her new friends the Teresa Haters if they should boo Teresa. Does anyone else think that maturity goes backwards in NJ? I think Teresa's daughters are more mature than Kim G.
The show is over and Kathy pulls Teresa aside to talk to her. She asks her what is up with her, what happened at the christening. Teresa says she didn't do anything, her brother did. Kathy is obviously on Melissa's side in this whole thing so she's basically trying to convince Teresa that she needs to apologize.
Kathy says that she was worried about the children (I'm sure her 14 year old was find with his knife collection) and tells Teresa that she found Audriana alone in a stroller and pushed the stroller out of the room. I don't remember seeing this happen last week but Kathy seems to be pushing this fact over and over again.
Teresa starts pointing in her face "DO NOT go there with me!" I don't blame her...you don't "go there" to a mother about her kids/parenting skills.
Caroline is trying to corral the crazy. She confronts Kathy and said that the conversation shouldn't have happened now and they can kill each other in their own homes, not at the Brownstone.
Next week Teresa is talking about her cookbook and she says "ingrediences" and "cumin" (but pronounces is "come-in". She wrote a cookbook...and says ingrediences and come-in.
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