Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Sorry - late on 16 & Pregnant Recap
I remembered the previews were boring so I wasn't jumping at the chance to watch and recap last night. But I will do it tonight. I heard it was boring so hopefully there is something of which I can make fun!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
The Real Housewives of New Jersey (from 5/30)
Kathy is telling her husband Rich about what happened at the fashion show. She doesn't think she did anything wrong by confronting Teresa. Well of course not, no one thinks they are wrong on this show. She wants to speak with Caroline about it...maybe she's afraid.
She sets a date and goes to Caroline's house with a godawful basket and giant bouquet flowers. She begins to basically apologize and explain herself. Caroline clearly doesn't give a shit but she does back Teresa up a little bit and says that she felt bad for Teresa when she heard what was going on (when Kathy attacked Teresa's parenting).
Kathy grows some balls right before our eyes and says that she was upset with Caroline with the way she came in and made a judgement call. Hello??? It was Caroline's family's place of business. Of course she is going to tell people to calm down and take it elsewhere.
In interview Kathy is saying that she is a grown woman and she doesn't need anyone's approval or to win a friendship. The giant bouquet of flowers says differently.
At home, Rich feels bad for the way that Teresa treated his wife so he buys her a brand new car.
Caroline's sons are moving into their new apartment. Jacqueline has given them a couch for their new place and also...a stripper pole. Why did Jacqueline have a stripper pole??
Caroline is carrying the pole into the apartment and she says "This thing is going to make me throw up, that's all I know. It's choking me and it's itchy."
TOTALLY thought she was talking about the pole...but it's the feather boa around her neck.
Teresa is writing her second cook book and is having photos taken of the food. She's talking to a couple of people at the shoot and asking how they like the recipes. One says she likes it because there aren't any fancy ingredients. This is when Teresa says that in lots of cookbooks she read there were so many "ingredientses".
Yeah, we know what's going in their heads here.
For some reason at the photo shoot Teresa talks to her husband on speakerphone. He ran into her brother at the gym and the two of them talk about it, making everyone in the room uncomfortable. The photographer is thinking "Get the fuck off the phone and pay attention!"
Another day, Teresa, Caroline (with strangely slicked back wet hair) and Jacqueline go to a friend of Kim D's (the Posche owner) place to look at her clothes and see what they want before the new season's stuff comes out. Teresa tells the friend (Cynthia) that she used to be in the fashion industry too. She worked at Macy's. Oooh oooh...I used to be an opthamologist. I was a receptionist at an eye doctor's office.
Kim points out that now Teresa's job is taking care of four kids and Teresa throws in "And I'm an author." Oooh oooh...I used to be a journalist. I wrote a letter to the editor once.
Kim says "That's right. Writing her lil' recipes." Where did this condescention come from? Maybe she's becoming BFFs with Melissa.
Caroline and her wet head also becomes condescending with Teresa when she brings up Kathy visiting her. I sort of don't blame her because Teresa won't let Caroline finish a thought and she keeps throwing out there what "happened" at the fashion show. Caroline just wants her to listen. She gets through one complete sentence and Teresa starts yapping again.
Teresa explains that she has tried to get in touch with her brother via his best friend but that she has four kids, she doesn't have TIME to be chasing her brother around. She says this as she's standing in a store with a glass of champagne in the afternoon with friends gossiping.
Caroline suggests that Teresa write a letter because there is obviously an issue with communication. Teresa says "Not on my end." She's not listening again. If anyone has an issue with communication it's Teresa. Caroline looks like she's ready to strangle her.
At the Gorga household Joe comes home and isn't really talking to Melissa because she hasn't given him sex for a few days. She was tired from the fashion show and Joe thinks she needs to wake up to have sex with him. After she cooks, cleans and irons his clothes.
As they are eating together (just the two of them), their daughter comes in the room to tell them that Gino (her brother) spilled some water. Are they not eating in the same room? The kids have to eat separately?
Joe calls their daughter a cock block - well, Melissa says "blocker" but we all know that's what he says. He says that not having sex basically builds up "poison" in his system. Great. Now all I can hear is the guy on Howard Stern saying "Release the poison" to the girl on the Sybian.
Jacqueline is visiting a psychic. The psychic tells her that Ashley is very emotional right now and it is like she has constant PMS. Well, damn...I watched last season too so can you call me a psychic? I predict that Ashley will act like a spoiled brat who wants everything handed to her. That will be $400.
She also brings up Teresa and her family issues. She's clearly in the NJ gossip ring.
Another day, Teresa goes to Jacqueline's house to go through the letter that she's written to her brother per Caroline's advice. She "wrote" a rough draft on her bedazzled phone. If Solid Gold was still on the air, the dancers would have that phone.
She doesn't mention Melissa at all in the letter. Teresa feels that she's up to this point with them BECAUSE of Melissa. Jacqueline thinks she needs to mention her and take some responsibility but we all know Teresa isn't going to do that. She isn't listening to Jacqueline, in fact - she's rummaging through her purse as Jacqueline tries to give her advice.
Oh...she's looking for her phone because apparently it was ringing. She doesn't say anything to Jacqueline and just answers it. Ironically enough, as she was looking for her phone Jacqueline had been saying something about Teresa being self absorbed.
Teresa says that none of this is her fault and that it is hard to write this letter with Jacqueline because it has nothing to do with her. Oh Teresa, Teresa, Teresa. There is nothing going on in that little head of yours, is there?
Eventually Jacqueline lays on the couch with her son and Teresa frantically writes on shitloads of paper on the table.
It seems like it has taken all day and I feel bad for Jacqueline. She tells her that she's made the same point several times but Teresa just keeps writing, ending her note with the ever so passive aggressive "Your only sister, Teresa."
On the way to deliver the letter she says "I hope my brother changes...yada yada yada...he can't try to change me. I don't want to change him." When Jacqueline points this out she just gets a dirty look.
She leaves the letter on the door.
When Melissa and Joe get home, Joe makes Melissa read the letter out loud to him. Melissa wants him to talk to her and work things out. Joe doesn't want to make peace with the "new Teresa".
Next week is Thanksgiving. Mmm...turkey...and apparently lasagna with not fancy ingredientses like "come-in".
She sets a date and goes to Caroline's house with a godawful basket and giant bouquet flowers. She begins to basically apologize and explain herself. Caroline clearly doesn't give a shit but she does back Teresa up a little bit and says that she felt bad for Teresa when she heard what was going on (when Kathy attacked Teresa's parenting).
Kathy grows some balls right before our eyes and says that she was upset with Caroline with the way she came in and made a judgement call. Hello??? It was Caroline's family's place of business. Of course she is going to tell people to calm down and take it elsewhere.
In interview Kathy is saying that she is a grown woman and she doesn't need anyone's approval or to win a friendship. The giant bouquet of flowers says differently.
At home, Rich feels bad for the way that Teresa treated his wife so he buys her a brand new car.
Caroline's sons are moving into their new apartment. Jacqueline has given them a couch for their new place and also...a stripper pole. Why did Jacqueline have a stripper pole??
Caroline is carrying the pole into the apartment and she says "This thing is going to make me throw up, that's all I know. It's choking me and it's itchy."
TOTALLY thought she was talking about the pole...but it's the feather boa around her neck.
Teresa is writing her second cook book and is having photos taken of the food. She's talking to a couple of people at the shoot and asking how they like the recipes. One says she likes it because there aren't any fancy ingredients. This is when Teresa says that in lots of cookbooks she read there were so many "ingredientses".
Yeah, we know what's going in their heads here.
For some reason at the photo shoot Teresa talks to her husband on speakerphone. He ran into her brother at the gym and the two of them talk about it, making everyone in the room uncomfortable. The photographer is thinking "Get the fuck off the phone and pay attention!"
Another day, Teresa, Caroline (with strangely slicked back wet hair) and Jacqueline go to a friend of Kim D's (the Posche owner) place to look at her clothes and see what they want before the new season's stuff comes out. Teresa tells the friend (Cynthia) that she used to be in the fashion industry too. She worked at Macy's. Oooh oooh...I used to be an opthamologist. I was a receptionist at an eye doctor's office.
Kim points out that now Teresa's job is taking care of four kids and Teresa throws in "And I'm an author." Oooh oooh...I used to be a journalist. I wrote a letter to the editor once.
Kim says "That's right. Writing her lil' recipes." Where did this condescention come from? Maybe she's becoming BFFs with Melissa.
Caroline and her wet head also becomes condescending with Teresa when she brings up Kathy visiting her. I sort of don't blame her because Teresa won't let Caroline finish a thought and she keeps throwing out there what "happened" at the fashion show. Caroline just wants her to listen. She gets through one complete sentence and Teresa starts yapping again.
Teresa explains that she has tried to get in touch with her brother via his best friend but that she has four kids, she doesn't have TIME to be chasing her brother around. She says this as she's standing in a store with a glass of champagne in the afternoon with friends gossiping.
Caroline suggests that Teresa write a letter because there is obviously an issue with communication. Teresa says "Not on my end." She's not listening again. If anyone has an issue with communication it's Teresa. Caroline looks like she's ready to strangle her.
At the Gorga household Joe comes home and isn't really talking to Melissa because she hasn't given him sex for a few days. She was tired from the fashion show and Joe thinks she needs to wake up to have sex with him. After she cooks, cleans and irons his clothes.
As they are eating together (just the two of them), their daughter comes in the room to tell them that Gino (her brother) spilled some water. Are they not eating in the same room? The kids have to eat separately?
Joe calls their daughter a cock block - well, Melissa says "blocker" but we all know that's what he says. He says that not having sex basically builds up "poison" in his system. Great. Now all I can hear is the guy on Howard Stern saying "Release the poison" to the girl on the Sybian.
Jacqueline is visiting a psychic. The psychic tells her that Ashley is very emotional right now and it is like she has constant PMS. Well, damn...I watched last season too so can you call me a psychic? I predict that Ashley will act like a spoiled brat who wants everything handed to her. That will be $400.
She also brings up Teresa and her family issues. She's clearly in the NJ gossip ring.
Another day, Teresa goes to Jacqueline's house to go through the letter that she's written to her brother per Caroline's advice. She "wrote" a rough draft on her bedazzled phone. If Solid Gold was still on the air, the dancers would have that phone.
She doesn't mention Melissa at all in the letter. Teresa feels that she's up to this point with them BECAUSE of Melissa. Jacqueline thinks she needs to mention her and take some responsibility but we all know Teresa isn't going to do that. She isn't listening to Jacqueline, in fact - she's rummaging through her purse as Jacqueline tries to give her advice.
Oh...she's looking for her phone because apparently it was ringing. She doesn't say anything to Jacqueline and just answers it. Ironically enough, as she was looking for her phone Jacqueline had been saying something about Teresa being self absorbed.
Teresa says that none of this is her fault and that it is hard to write this letter with Jacqueline because it has nothing to do with her. Oh Teresa, Teresa, Teresa. There is nothing going on in that little head of yours, is there?
Eventually Jacqueline lays on the couch with her son and Teresa frantically writes on shitloads of paper on the table.
It seems like it has taken all day and I feel bad for Jacqueline. She tells her that she's made the same point several times but Teresa just keeps writing, ending her note with the ever so passive aggressive "Your only sister, Teresa."
On the way to deliver the letter she says "I hope my brother changes...yada yada yada...he can't try to change me. I don't want to change him." When Jacqueline points this out she just gets a dirty look.
She leaves the letter on the door.
When Melissa and Joe get home, Joe makes Melissa read the letter out loud to him. Melissa wants him to talk to her and work things out. Joe doesn't want to make peace with the "new Teresa".
Next week is Thanksgiving. Mmm...turkey...and apparently lasagna with not fancy ingredientses like "come-in".
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Real Housewives of NYC: Stop Saying Hangers (from 5/26)
Kelly, Jill, Cindy and LuMann are on their way to Morocco and LuMann is teaching some Arabic words. She's so condescending "Darling.....darling....."
The place they are staying is AMAZING and looks so peaceful - too bad three of the most annoying voices in NYC are staying there. LuMann, Jill and Ramona.
Ramona, Sonja and Alex are flying separately and will show up the next day. Ramona is still afraid that she's going to be staying in some kind of hostel and she won't have white sheets and her Pinot Grigio at all times.
At the airport, Alex is pushing some sort of space station full of space age luggage.
On the way to their place, Ramona is freaking out a little because of the dust and you know...the poverty. She and Sonja are being so offensive talking to each other about how they are a bit scared. The van driver should just drop them off...at least Alex has the decency to tell us in interview that she was apalled by them.
Once they arrive, Sonja is scared that someone is going to steal her luggage from the van. While they are inside having snacks and drinks Sonja goes outside to double check on her luggage. She doesn't want her hats stolen.
Ramona needs help unpacking. I think she brought her entire wardrobe including some very inappropriate outfits. Inappropriate for Morocco but also for her age. She has a shitload of jewelry with her, on stands and everything. I think she plans to sell it to the staff.
She brought some specific shorts for "camel riding". I think she's confused with "camel toe".
While the woman that works there is helping to unpack, Ramona is talking to Sonja and lifting weights. Then they start pretending to belly dance. The woman is behind them working her ass off.
How is it that I like Kelly and LuMann better than Ramona and Sonja right now?
Cindy comes inside to her room and thinks that someone stole her hangers. Ramona "requested" 40 hangers...FORTY HANGERS??? You need 40 fucking hangers for a vacation?
Anyway, Cindy is pissed because she's assuming Ramona took them. LuMann gathers up like 15 of them to bring them to Ramona just in case.
Ramona and Sonja head out for a ride in the van to relax instead of joining the ladies for lunch. Good thing because LuMann, Kelly, Cindy and Jill need to gossip about them. Kelly says that Sonja lives in an awful place that is messy. LuMann is actually defending Sonja.
A bit later, the four of them head out shopping and Jill runs into her friend Brad and some woman that she knows. Who runs into friends in Morocco? It is Brad's birthday and they are having a party for him. How convenient! Also convenient - Brad hates Ramona.
Back at the resort, LuMann tries to invite Ramona and Sonja downstairs to let them in on the plan to go to Brad's party but they are busy acting drunk and trying on clothes with no underwear. Sonja says she didn't even pack any.
They eventually come downstairs and LuMann has a surprise for them. The most famous designer in Morocco is there. He designs kaftans, gowns, etc. Ramona announces that she needs something sexy because she doesn't like the "kaftan look"...as she insults most of the women in the room and in Morocco.
She's paranoid that the designer didn't write her name down on the photo of the dress she wants so she stalks him and makes sure even though he only speaks French.
Once he starts measuring Ramona she makes sure to tell him that she wants to show cleavage. You know who I feel bad for? Avery...her daughter.
When someone decides that a log needs to be put in the fire, Ramona suggests that the designer do it. Then she and Sonja say "We need one of those ding-dings"...um...a bell? Imagine if you worked at this place and Ramona and Sonja had a BELL to call for you when they needed you to do something?
DING DING DING "I need an extra pillow!"
DING DING DING "Pinio Grigio, NOW!"
DING DING DING "I just pooped, can you wipe my butt? I'm not used to having to do all of these things myself."
Party time. Brad supposedly hates Sonja but he gives her a kiss on the cheek and tells her how great she looks.
LuMann points out the buffet but she says it like Phoebe Buffet (Boo-fay).
Ramona is texting on her pink phone waiting for her Pinot. I'm surprised she didn't bring her own box full of Ramona kind to try sell to everyone and then drink it all.
A guy is about to make out with a rattlesnake.
Afterwards when it is slithering on the floor it has a big line of drool coming out of its mouth. Sonja wonders if it is venom or semen. How are these women going to last this whole vacation with Ramona and Sonja?
The ladies all sit with a psychic and she tells them that Ramona's husband has "another woman.
Apparently all of the good stuff we saw in the commercials happen in the next few episodes because tonight was pretty uneventful. But it sounds like this episode set the scene for Ramona/Sonja hijinks.
The place they are staying is AMAZING and looks so peaceful - too bad three of the most annoying voices in NYC are staying there. LuMann, Jill and Ramona.
Ramona, Sonja and Alex are flying separately and will show up the next day. Ramona is still afraid that she's going to be staying in some kind of hostel and she won't have white sheets and her Pinot Grigio at all times.
At the airport, Alex is pushing some sort of space station full of space age luggage.
On the way to their place, Ramona is freaking out a little because of the dust and you know...the poverty. She and Sonja are being so offensive talking to each other about how they are a bit scared. The van driver should just drop them off...at least Alex has the decency to tell us in interview that she was apalled by them.
Once they arrive, Sonja is scared that someone is going to steal her luggage from the van. While they are inside having snacks and drinks Sonja goes outside to double check on her luggage. She doesn't want her hats stolen.
Ramona needs help unpacking. I think she brought her entire wardrobe including some very inappropriate outfits. Inappropriate for Morocco but also for her age. She has a shitload of jewelry with her, on stands and everything. I think she plans to sell it to the staff.
She brought some specific shorts for "camel riding". I think she's confused with "camel toe".
While the woman that works there is helping to unpack, Ramona is talking to Sonja and lifting weights. Then they start pretending to belly dance. The woman is behind them working her ass off.
How is it that I like Kelly and LuMann better than Ramona and Sonja right now?
Cindy comes inside to her room and thinks that someone stole her hangers. Ramona "requested" 40 hangers...FORTY HANGERS??? You need 40 fucking hangers for a vacation?
Anyway, Cindy is pissed because she's assuming Ramona took them. LuMann gathers up like 15 of them to bring them to Ramona just in case.
Ramona and Sonja head out for a ride in the van to relax instead of joining the ladies for lunch. Good thing because LuMann, Kelly, Cindy and Jill need to gossip about them. Kelly says that Sonja lives in an awful place that is messy. LuMann is actually defending Sonja.
A bit later, the four of them head out shopping and Jill runs into her friend Brad and some woman that she knows. Who runs into friends in Morocco? It is Brad's birthday and they are having a party for him. How convenient! Also convenient - Brad hates Ramona.
Back at the resort, LuMann tries to invite Ramona and Sonja downstairs to let them in on the plan to go to Brad's party but they are busy acting drunk and trying on clothes with no underwear. Sonja says she didn't even pack any.
They eventually come downstairs and LuMann has a surprise for them. The most famous designer in Morocco is there. He designs kaftans, gowns, etc. Ramona announces that she needs something sexy because she doesn't like the "kaftan look"...as she insults most of the women in the room and in Morocco.
She's paranoid that the designer didn't write her name down on the photo of the dress she wants so she stalks him and makes sure even though he only speaks French.
Once he starts measuring Ramona she makes sure to tell him that she wants to show cleavage. You know who I feel bad for? Avery...her daughter.
When someone decides that a log needs to be put in the fire, Ramona suggests that the designer do it. Then she and Sonja say "We need one of those ding-dings"...um...a bell? Imagine if you worked at this place and Ramona and Sonja had a BELL to call for you when they needed you to do something?
DING DING DING "I need an extra pillow!"
DING DING DING "Pinio Grigio, NOW!"
DING DING DING "I just pooped, can you wipe my butt? I'm not used to having to do all of these things myself."
Party time. Brad supposedly hates Sonja but he gives her a kiss on the cheek and tells her how great she looks.
LuMann points out the buffet but she says it like Phoebe Buffet (Boo-fay).
Ramona is texting on her pink phone waiting for her Pinot. I'm surprised she didn't bring her own box full of Ramona kind to try sell to everyone and then drink it all.
A guy is about to make out with a rattlesnake.
Afterwards when it is slithering on the floor it has a big line of drool coming out of its mouth. Sonja wonders if it is venom or semen. How are these women going to last this whole vacation with Ramona and Sonja?
The ladies all sit with a psychic and she tells them that Ramona's husband has "another woman.
Apparently all of the good stuff we saw in the commercials happen in the next few episodes because tonight was pretty uneventful. But it sounds like this episode set the scene for Ramona/Sonja hijinks.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
16 & Pregnant: Kayla (from 5/24)
In the opening scene 6 month pregnant Kayla and her friends are in bikinis and mini-shorts playing volleyball. Supposedly they are seniors in high school. I think maybe this girl got some implants for her Sweet 16.
If those are real - I'm jealous.
When Kayla was 13 she was diagnosed with anorexia and was hospitalized. She is having a hard time with gaining weight during her pregnancy.
Kayla's mom let her boyfriend Mike move in with them. Good thing because prior to that they were 'doing it' on his 101 Dalmation bed sheets. That's just creepy that a baby was conceived on top of some Disney dogs.
Kayla's mom is Deb and she was also a teen mom. Really? That never happens.
Deb takes off with her boyfriend a lot, leaving Kayla at home. Apparently she's only started doing this once Kayla got pregnant. Because you know...that's what you do when your daughter follows in your footsteps and needs you more than ever...abandon her.
Mike quit college to work at Aeropostale so he's gone a lot, too.
Kayla skips meals sometimes because she thinks she's getting fat. She had told her mother that she wanted to see a dietician to get a meal plan to follow (which is really smart) but her mother hasn't done a thing.
She and her friends go to the beach and Kayla doesn't want to take her shirt off because she doesn't want everyone looking at her. I think the MTV camera crew might have something to do with people staring.
Deb doesn't give Kayla any advice about getting prepared for the baby (nursery, necessities, etc.). Mike suggests that they go and price things out. Kayla doesn't seem to know anything about baby gear - I really wish that MTV would give them a complimentary copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting
before they start filming. Or call Rosie Pope...
Deb agrees to have dinner with her daughter. Kayla asks her to help her out a bit and just be there for her and give her advice since she knows nothing. Deb says she will try to be around more...but when they are putting together the crib one of her questions to her is "Are you worried about going back to school looking heavy?" WHO SAYS THAT? To anyone? Nevermind someone with an eating disorder!
Kayla has gained 12 pounds and she's 31 weeks pregnant so she's worried that she gained too much. She tells her mother that she looks at herself in the mirror and cries. Instead of showing concern, Deb asks "Do you just look at your stomach or do you look at everything?" This is the question you ask lady??? When Kayla says she looks at everything including her stretch marks Deb says "You have stretch marks?" almost like she's grossed out.
Deb does tell her that she will take the first week off from work to help take care of the baby.
I just realized that Kayla's baby daddy and Deb's boyfriend have the same name. Baby daddy Mike is taking off to visit his parents because Deb wants to have a "girls night out" with her daughter. An hour later, Deb tells Kayla that plans changed and she got some free tickets to go to a baseball game so she and her Mike are going.
Kayla is hurt that she didn't invite her and Deb's response is to walk away. Later Kayla calls her mother to let her know how hurt she is and Deb says "I have a life too" and that "You're 17 years old, you do not have to be occupied by your mom 24/7."
This fucking bitch basically abandons her daughter when she needs her most and tells Kayla that they both need to make changes as Kayla cries to her, basically pleading for her to be a mother.
This girl is alone most of the time and she's so afraid of gaining more weight that she doesn't eat all day and has to force herself to eat something. Her friends come over to do a belly cast and she starts getting dizzy and suddenly can't see. Her friends care much more about her than her mother does - they tell her they will make her food to eat and then one talks to her doctor for her.
When she tells the doctor that Kayla has pressure around her head and eyes the doctor tells her to get her to Labor & Delivery immediately. Her friend starts crying because she's scared and I want to cry because I am pissed that Deb isn't around.
Once in the hospital she's having some contractions and they are giving her fluids through an IV. They discharge her after she's doing better and they tell her she needs to eat and drink more. Luckily her friends care and they give her more advice at dinner than her mom has the entire pregnancy.
Deb (probably reluctantly) agrees to go to the nutritionist with her daughter and sits there looking bored.
When the nutritionist suggests that Kayla eat meals with her mother, Deb says that she thinks that Kayla will restrict food when people are around and that she'd do better eating alone. Yes because eating in secret is the best thing for a pregnant anorexic. Is she really THAT stupid or does she not give a shit at all about her daughter and grandson?
Two weeks after the nutritionist told Deb that she needs to be eating meals with Kayla but nothing has changed. We see a text message between the two of them:
If that picture is blurry, it says: Me: I'm hungry. Are we eating dinner? Mom: I'm not hungry so you're on your own."
I can't believe this woman. I imagine that this is what Jenelle will grow up to be. Baby daddy Mike tries to take care of Kayla by getting her to eat but he isn't all that successful.
I FUCKING HATE DEB. This girl needs a mother more than any pregnant teen in previous episodes and her mother basically has abandoned her.
Side note: I think Kayla is friends with a Lohan, a sober one:
No? Does she not look like a Lohan here?
Everyone on 16 & Pregnant has their baby shower like 3 days before their due date. I was due 5/22/10 and I had my shower on the last Sunday in March. I was paranoid about not being ready. Also - Kayla isn't the first one that I've seen painting the baby's room. Was I just making shit up to get out of painting when I told my husband that I couldn't inhale the paint fumes while I was pregnant?
Even though Kayla is in her 40th week, her mom is still spending most of her time with her boyfriend. One night Kayla wakes up because she feels "leaking" and cramping. She's scared so she goes to wake up her mother and her mother tells her to LAY DOWN AND SEE IF YOU FEEL BETTER. She thinks that maybe she's having cramping because she just got out of the shower.
There are no words.
Mike and Kayla leave to go to the hospital without telling her since she obviously doesn't care. On the way Mike tells Kayla that she could have 24 hours of pushing. I laughed out loud at that one. Imagine 24 hours of pushing? I did 2 1/2 hours and it felt like I had just ran a marathon and then pooped out a pumpkin.
Kayla says that you only push for the last second. I laughed out loud again.
At the hospital they confirm that her water broke so she's not leaving until she has the baby. She isn't dilating enough and after 23 hours she's only about 5 centimeters so she needs a C-section. I think this is the first time the camera crew was allowed in the room and they showed them pull the baby out. I hope that scared some teens that wanted to get pregnant to be on MTV.
Preston is really cute and weighed over 8 lbs which surprised me because of her eating disorder.
On the way home I'm left wondering if Mike decided to grow a "molestache" because he thinks that dads need to have facial hair. I hope he shaves soon because someone might think he's a sexual predator.
Once home, Deb actually cooks dinner for everyone. Her boyfriend is there and hasn't said a word.
Deb asks how Kayla feels about doing this all alone with no help. Kayla is surprised by this question since she was supposed to take time off to help out. But nope...Deb's going back to work and thinks that Kayla will be just fine.
Luckily this baby daddy Mike is actually helpful, even in the middle of the night. Kayla was breastfeeding/pumping but she's not producing a lot of milk because she's not eating enough so they have to supplement with formula.
For people that supposedly have no money, they go out to eat a lot and baby Preston is decked out in Adidas.
Surprisingly, they bring they actually acknowledge that they go out to eat a lot. And just in time because now Deb wants $300 a month from them for rent. She says that they probably feel like crap because they don't pay for anything.
Kayla mentions that Mike pays for everything for Preston and for her (I guess as far as food, groceries and diapers). But Deb thinks it is only fair that they contribute. I think that Deb is trying to make money off of her daughter.
Mike can't start working full time because then Kayla wouldn't be able to go back to school. But her daughter getting her diploma obviously means nothing to Deb and she repeats that they need to pay $300 a month. BITCH. Seriously, she didn't bring this up BEFORE so that they could come up with some sort of plan? No - she told them that as long as they took care of Preston then they didn't have to pay rent. But now that the baby is 2 weeks old she says "fuck them!!"
Even though they only have $60 left to buy baby supplies, they choose Pampers which are the most expensive diaper even though the Target brand is right there in front of them.
Kayla's very far behind in her homework. While out to eat with her friends (I hope they paid) her friend Cynthia says "It's kind of like dumb. We don't get to graduate together and stuff. How are you going to feel staying here with Preston, Mike and stuff while we're all off at college?"
Where is her other supportive friend? I don't like Cynthia.
The girls still have sleepovers until they go off to college. They are having a tough time opening up the pack and play even though the instructions are clearly written on the floor of the damn thing.
When Deb is around she brings up to Kayla that she (Deb) has gained weight and that in a few weeks she thinks that Kayla will want to lose weight so they should start watching what they eat together. I'm beginning to see why Kayla had the eating disorder in the first place.
Deb says she'll come home for dinner with Kayla only if she helps her to lose weight and THEN go to her boyfriend's house. Luckily Kayla is smart enough to tell her that they have a dysfunctional family and she seems genuinely apalled at her mother for even asking her to go on a diet with her.
One night the heat doesn't seem to be working and Deb isn't answering the phone. Kayla, Mike and Preston are forced to go stay at a hotel because it is so cold in the house. Awesome. Deb keeps getting better and better!
Kayla confronts Deb and says that she made a lot of promises that she haven't kept. Deb says "Well...I tried."
I think this might be the first teen mom on 16 & Pregnant that didn't piss me off. But her mother did.
If those are real - I'm jealous.
When Kayla was 13 she was diagnosed with anorexia and was hospitalized. She is having a hard time with gaining weight during her pregnancy.
Kayla's mom let her boyfriend Mike move in with them. Good thing because prior to that they were 'doing it' on his 101 Dalmation bed sheets. That's just creepy that a baby was conceived on top of some Disney dogs.
Kayla's mom is Deb and she was also a teen mom. Really? That never happens.
Deb takes off with her boyfriend a lot, leaving Kayla at home. Apparently she's only started doing this once Kayla got pregnant. Because you know...that's what you do when your daughter follows in your footsteps and needs you more than ever...abandon her.
Mike quit college to work at Aeropostale so he's gone a lot, too.
Kayla skips meals sometimes because she thinks she's getting fat. She had told her mother that she wanted to see a dietician to get a meal plan to follow (which is really smart) but her mother hasn't done a thing.
She and her friends go to the beach and Kayla doesn't want to take her shirt off because she doesn't want everyone looking at her. I think the MTV camera crew might have something to do with people staring.
Deb doesn't give Kayla any advice about getting prepared for the baby (nursery, necessities, etc.). Mike suggests that they go and price things out. Kayla doesn't seem to know anything about baby gear - I really wish that MTV would give them a complimentary copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting
before they start filming. Or call Rosie Pope...Deb agrees to have dinner with her daughter. Kayla asks her to help her out a bit and just be there for her and give her advice since she knows nothing. Deb says she will try to be around more...but when they are putting together the crib one of her questions to her is "Are you worried about going back to school looking heavy?" WHO SAYS THAT? To anyone? Nevermind someone with an eating disorder!
Kayla has gained 12 pounds and she's 31 weeks pregnant so she's worried that she gained too much. She tells her mother that she looks at herself in the mirror and cries. Instead of showing concern, Deb asks "Do you just look at your stomach or do you look at everything?" This is the question you ask lady??? When Kayla says she looks at everything including her stretch marks Deb says "You have stretch marks?" almost like she's grossed out.
Deb does tell her that she will take the first week off from work to help take care of the baby.
I just realized that Kayla's baby daddy and Deb's boyfriend have the same name. Baby daddy Mike is taking off to visit his parents because Deb wants to have a "girls night out" with her daughter. An hour later, Deb tells Kayla that plans changed and she got some free tickets to go to a baseball game so she and her Mike are going.
Kayla is hurt that she didn't invite her and Deb's response is to walk away. Later Kayla calls her mother to let her know how hurt she is and Deb says "I have a life too" and that "You're 17 years old, you do not have to be occupied by your mom 24/7."
This fucking bitch basically abandons her daughter when she needs her most and tells Kayla that they both need to make changes as Kayla cries to her, basically pleading for her to be a mother.
This girl is alone most of the time and she's so afraid of gaining more weight that she doesn't eat all day and has to force herself to eat something. Her friends come over to do a belly cast and she starts getting dizzy and suddenly can't see. Her friends care much more about her than her mother does - they tell her they will make her food to eat and then one talks to her doctor for her.
When she tells the doctor that Kayla has pressure around her head and eyes the doctor tells her to get her to Labor & Delivery immediately. Her friend starts crying because she's scared and I want to cry because I am pissed that Deb isn't around.
Once in the hospital she's having some contractions and they are giving her fluids through an IV. They discharge her after she's doing better and they tell her she needs to eat and drink more. Luckily her friends care and they give her more advice at dinner than her mom has the entire pregnancy.
Deb (probably reluctantly) agrees to go to the nutritionist with her daughter and sits there looking bored.
When the nutritionist suggests that Kayla eat meals with her mother, Deb says that she thinks that Kayla will restrict food when people are around and that she'd do better eating alone. Yes because eating in secret is the best thing for a pregnant anorexic. Is she really THAT stupid or does she not give a shit at all about her daughter and grandson?
Two weeks after the nutritionist told Deb that she needs to be eating meals with Kayla but nothing has changed. We see a text message between the two of them:
If that picture is blurry, it says: Me: I'm hungry. Are we eating dinner? Mom: I'm not hungry so you're on your own."
I can't believe this woman. I imagine that this is what Jenelle will grow up to be. Baby daddy Mike tries to take care of Kayla by getting her to eat but he isn't all that successful.
I FUCKING HATE DEB. This girl needs a mother more than any pregnant teen in previous episodes and her mother basically has abandoned her.
Side note: I think Kayla is friends with a Lohan, a sober one:
No? Does she not look like a Lohan here?
Everyone on 16 & Pregnant has their baby shower like 3 days before their due date. I was due 5/22/10 and I had my shower on the last Sunday in March. I was paranoid about not being ready. Also - Kayla isn't the first one that I've seen painting the baby's room. Was I just making shit up to get out of painting when I told my husband that I couldn't inhale the paint fumes while I was pregnant?
Even though Kayla is in her 40th week, her mom is still spending most of her time with her boyfriend. One night Kayla wakes up because she feels "leaking" and cramping. She's scared so she goes to wake up her mother and her mother tells her to LAY DOWN AND SEE IF YOU FEEL BETTER. She thinks that maybe she's having cramping because she just got out of the shower.
There are no words.
Mike and Kayla leave to go to the hospital without telling her since she obviously doesn't care. On the way Mike tells Kayla that she could have 24 hours of pushing. I laughed out loud at that one. Imagine 24 hours of pushing? I did 2 1/2 hours and it felt like I had just ran a marathon and then pooped out a pumpkin.
Kayla says that you only push for the last second. I laughed out loud again.
At the hospital they confirm that her water broke so she's not leaving until she has the baby. She isn't dilating enough and after 23 hours she's only about 5 centimeters so she needs a C-section. I think this is the first time the camera crew was allowed in the room and they showed them pull the baby out. I hope that scared some teens that wanted to get pregnant to be on MTV.
Preston is really cute and weighed over 8 lbs which surprised me because of her eating disorder.
On the way home I'm left wondering if Mike decided to grow a "molestache" because he thinks that dads need to have facial hair. I hope he shaves soon because someone might think he's a sexual predator.
Once home, Deb actually cooks dinner for everyone. Her boyfriend is there and hasn't said a word.
Deb asks how Kayla feels about doing this all alone with no help. Kayla is surprised by this question since she was supposed to take time off to help out. But nope...Deb's going back to work and thinks that Kayla will be just fine.
Luckily this baby daddy Mike is actually helpful, even in the middle of the night. Kayla was breastfeeding/pumping but she's not producing a lot of milk because she's not eating enough so they have to supplement with formula.
For people that supposedly have no money, they go out to eat a lot and baby Preston is decked out in Adidas.
Surprisingly, they bring they actually acknowledge that they go out to eat a lot. And just in time because now Deb wants $300 a month from them for rent. She says that they probably feel like crap because they don't pay for anything.
Kayla mentions that Mike pays for everything for Preston and for her (I guess as far as food, groceries and diapers). But Deb thinks it is only fair that they contribute. I think that Deb is trying to make money off of her daughter.
Mike can't start working full time because then Kayla wouldn't be able to go back to school. But her daughter getting her diploma obviously means nothing to Deb and she repeats that they need to pay $300 a month. BITCH. Seriously, she didn't bring this up BEFORE so that they could come up with some sort of plan? No - she told them that as long as they took care of Preston then they didn't have to pay rent. But now that the baby is 2 weeks old she says "fuck them!!"
Even though they only have $60 left to buy baby supplies, they choose Pampers which are the most expensive diaper even though the Target brand is right there in front of them.
Kayla's very far behind in her homework. While out to eat with her friends (I hope they paid) her friend Cynthia says "It's kind of like dumb. We don't get to graduate together and stuff. How are you going to feel staying here with Preston, Mike and stuff while we're all off at college?"
Where is her other supportive friend? I don't like Cynthia.
The girls still have sleepovers until they go off to college. They are having a tough time opening up the pack and play even though the instructions are clearly written on the floor of the damn thing.
When Deb is around she brings up to Kayla that she (Deb) has gained weight and that in a few weeks she thinks that Kayla will want to lose weight so they should start watching what they eat together. I'm beginning to see why Kayla had the eating disorder in the first place.
Deb says she'll come home for dinner with Kayla only if she helps her to lose weight and THEN go to her boyfriend's house. Luckily Kayla is smart enough to tell her that they have a dysfunctional family and she seems genuinely apalled at her mother for even asking her to go on a diet with her.
One night the heat doesn't seem to be working and Deb isn't answering the phone. Kayla, Mike and Preston are forced to go stay at a hotel because it is so cold in the house. Awesome. Deb keeps getting better and better!
Kayla confronts Deb and says that she made a lot of promises that she haven't kept. Deb says "Well...I tried."
I think this might be the first teen mom on 16 & Pregnant that didn't piss me off. But her mother did.
16 & Pregnant Recap to Come Wednesday Night!
I didn't get a chance to watch it tonight but I'll be on the ball Wednesday. Stay tuned!
Monday, May 23, 2011
The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Maturity Goes Backwards in NJ (from 5/23)
The name Monday should officially be changed to Craz-o during the RHofNJ season. Sunday, Craz-o, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.
This says it all:
Caroline, Jacqueline, Teresa and some others are carving pumpkins because it is near Halloween. A family friend, Dolores, has heard rumors about the christening and wants to know what really happened. Not sure why she's asking Teresa, though.
Inside the men are gossiping about it too and Joe calls Joe Gorga (Melissa's Joe) a "little midget". Pot meet kettle!
Caroline thinks Teresa needs to talk to her brother to smooth things out, especially because there is a fashion show coming up and they will all be there. She's trying to give Teresa adult advice but you know Teresa isn't going to listen.
Teresa tells us in interview that she's the matriarch of her family. I actually scoffed at that...and I've never used the word "scoffed" in reference to myself before.
Melissa and Joe are going to Kathy and Rich's house for dinner to talk about the fiasco.
Is it cold in the house?
Melissa and Joe were upset that Teresa and Joe were acting fake at the christening by dancing with the baby on the dance floor, looking like they were a great and caring aunt and uncle. Normal human beings with a maturity level past the age of 18 would have just smiled and faked it too since this was a religious celebration and there were children around. But then how would they get on TV? They MUST pound on the tables, threaten to fight each other, swear and throw fits if they want to be famous.
While telling the story Joe says about Teresa: "I looked at her. I looked at her with my eyes..." That should have settled everything. If someone looks at you with their eyes you better back the fuck up! If they look with their elbows, you're safe.
Kathy and Rich hit the nail on the head (or the fist on the table...whatever analogy you're more comfortable with..lamb and tunafish?) when they said that Teresa used to put her brother Joe on this pedestal and just bragged about everything he did. Teresa's husband Joe obviously felt inferior and has since (in the last 9 years) felt like he had to tear Joe Gorga down. For some reason he does this via Teresa and Joe's father. Why does the father listen to his brother-in-law bad mouth his own son?
Apparently all of the RH of NJ are contractually obligated to shop at Posche, Kim D's teeny tiny boutique. This is the fashion show that Caroline mentioned earlier. Teresa and Jacqueline are walking in the show and now in a strangely bad voice over edit, Kim D asks Melissa to also walk in the show.
While at the shop, Kim G comes by because she would never miss out on an opportunity to be on the show even though she wasn't chosen to be a housewife. She meets Melissa for the first time and immediately asks her about what happened at the christening. Balls, Kim G...you got balls. Rude ones.
Kim G bad mouths Teresa and calls her an old lady. Isn't Kim G old enough to be Teresa's mom?
Caroline's daughter Lauren started a little makeup line/beauty bar type thing. She's doing the makeup for the Posche fashion show. Last year's Posche show was when Ashley pulled Danielle's hair out.
Its Halloween and Teresa is running around her bedroom in some kind of costume calling herself "Super T". This is the bedroom of someone who filed bankruptcy in the last year:
I think that mirror probably costs more than my entire house.
Three of her girls are dressing up as rock stars and Audriana is a lesbian.
Melissa thinks she's dressed as a cat but she's really just wearing tight black leather and some ears. Joe is dressing up as Teresa.
Ok maybe it is Snooki.
They arrive at Kathy and Rich's house before going to a party and they've also invited Kim D. Kim D has a blonde wig on and she announces that her costume is a "half a hooker". Ok what half? Kim G is tagging along (surprise, surprise) and she also thinks she's dressed as a cat except she has a tank top on and has drawn whiskers on her face.
They go to a club and I really feel like most of them are way too old to be at a club. *cough Kathy, Kim G cough*. WHAT is Kathy dressed as?
Teresa is talking to Jacqueline about how she's going to say hi to Melissa at the fashion show. As if she's the "bigger person". Neither of them are the bigger person.
Melissa is talking to Kathy about it and saying that Teresa ruined her child's party. How insane is that statement? Teresa was being fake nice - yes that sucks but Melissa and Joe's reaction to it was what ruined the party. Come on now.
Fashion show time. Melissa is getting her makeup done and as soon as Teresa walks in she goes over to her and says hi and kisses her on the cheek. Come on now.
While Caroline is making small talk with Melissa and Kathy, Teresa starts whining "CAROLIIINNE!" How is it that I used to not hate Teresa?
Kim G shows up and Teresa cannot stop staring at her while she talks to Melissa, Kathy and Melissa's sisters. She knows that the NJ Chapter of Teresa Haters has just been created. Teresa makes a comment that Kim G is like 77 years old. If that is the case, I've changed my mind on getting plastic surgery someday because she does NOT look 77. Of course - she's not 77, she's 54.
Kim D stands up to kick off the show. Is it still Halloween? Because I think she's still half a hooker.
When it is time for Melissa to walk the runway, she has all of her "fans" standing up, whistling, taking pictures. It looks like pervert row at a strip club.
Kim D has Melissa walk twice down the runway. Trying to get someone to make it rain?
When Teresa is introduced Kim G who is so mature for a 54 year old asks her new friends the Teresa Haters if they should boo Teresa. Does anyone else think that maturity goes backwards in NJ? I think Teresa's daughters are more mature than Kim G.
The show is over and Kathy pulls Teresa aside to talk to her. She asks her what is up with her, what happened at the christening. Teresa says she didn't do anything, her brother did. Kathy is obviously on Melissa's side in this whole thing so she's basically trying to convince Teresa that she needs to apologize.
Kathy says that she was worried about the children (I'm sure her 14 year old was find with his knife collection) and tells Teresa that she found Audriana alone in a stroller and pushed the stroller out of the room. I don't remember seeing this happen last week but Kathy seems to be pushing this fact over and over again.
Teresa starts pointing in her face "DO NOT go there with me!" I don't blame her...you don't "go there" to a mother about her kids/parenting skills.
Caroline is trying to corral the crazy. She confronts Kathy and said that the conversation shouldn't have happened now and they can kill each other in their own homes, not at the Brownstone.
Next week Teresa is talking about her cookbook and she says "ingrediences" and "cumin" (but pronounces is "come-in". She wrote a cookbook...and says ingrediences and come-in.
This says it all:
Caroline, Jacqueline, Teresa and some others are carving pumpkins because it is near Halloween. A family friend, Dolores, has heard rumors about the christening and wants to know what really happened. Not sure why she's asking Teresa, though.
Inside the men are gossiping about it too and Joe calls Joe Gorga (Melissa's Joe) a "little midget". Pot meet kettle!
Caroline thinks Teresa needs to talk to her brother to smooth things out, especially because there is a fashion show coming up and they will all be there. She's trying to give Teresa adult advice but you know Teresa isn't going to listen.
Teresa tells us in interview that she's the matriarch of her family. I actually scoffed at that...and I've never used the word "scoffed" in reference to myself before.
Melissa and Joe are going to Kathy and Rich's house for dinner to talk about the fiasco.
Is it cold in the house?
Melissa and Joe were upset that Teresa and Joe were acting fake at the christening by dancing with the baby on the dance floor, looking like they were a great and caring aunt and uncle. Normal human beings with a maturity level past the age of 18 would have just smiled and faked it too since this was a religious celebration and there were children around. But then how would they get on TV? They MUST pound on the tables, threaten to fight each other, swear and throw fits if they want to be famous.
While telling the story Joe says about Teresa: "I looked at her. I looked at her with my eyes..." That should have settled everything. If someone looks at you with their eyes you better back the fuck up! If they look with their elbows, you're safe.
Kathy and Rich hit the nail on the head (or the fist on the table...whatever analogy you're more comfortable with..lamb and tunafish?) when they said that Teresa used to put her brother Joe on this pedestal and just bragged about everything he did. Teresa's husband Joe obviously felt inferior and has since (in the last 9 years) felt like he had to tear Joe Gorga down. For some reason he does this via Teresa and Joe's father. Why does the father listen to his brother-in-law bad mouth his own son?
Apparently all of the RH of NJ are contractually obligated to shop at Posche, Kim D's teeny tiny boutique. This is the fashion show that Caroline mentioned earlier. Teresa and Jacqueline are walking in the show and now in a strangely bad voice over edit, Kim D asks Melissa to also walk in the show.
While at the shop, Kim G comes by because she would never miss out on an opportunity to be on the show even though she wasn't chosen to be a housewife. She meets Melissa for the first time and immediately asks her about what happened at the christening. Balls, Kim G...you got balls. Rude ones.
Kim G bad mouths Teresa and calls her an old lady. Isn't Kim G old enough to be Teresa's mom?
Caroline's daughter Lauren started a little makeup line/beauty bar type thing. She's doing the makeup for the Posche fashion show. Last year's Posche show was when Ashley pulled Danielle's hair out.
Its Halloween and Teresa is running around her bedroom in some kind of costume calling herself "Super T". This is the bedroom of someone who filed bankruptcy in the last year:
I think that mirror probably costs more than my entire house.
Three of her girls are dressing up as rock stars and Audriana is a lesbian.
Melissa thinks she's dressed as a cat but she's really just wearing tight black leather and some ears. Joe is dressing up as Teresa.
Ok maybe it is Snooki.
They arrive at Kathy and Rich's house before going to a party and they've also invited Kim D. Kim D has a blonde wig on and she announces that her costume is a "half a hooker". Ok what half? Kim G is tagging along (surprise, surprise) and she also thinks she's dressed as a cat except she has a tank top on and has drawn whiskers on her face.
They go to a club and I really feel like most of them are way too old to be at a club. *cough Kathy, Kim G cough*. WHAT is Kathy dressed as?
Teresa is talking to Jacqueline about how she's going to say hi to Melissa at the fashion show. As if she's the "bigger person". Neither of them are the bigger person.
Melissa is talking to Kathy about it and saying that Teresa ruined her child's party. How insane is that statement? Teresa was being fake nice - yes that sucks but Melissa and Joe's reaction to it was what ruined the party. Come on now.
Fashion show time. Melissa is getting her makeup done and as soon as Teresa walks in she goes over to her and says hi and kisses her on the cheek. Come on now.
While Caroline is making small talk with Melissa and Kathy, Teresa starts whining "CAROLIIINNE!" How is it that I used to not hate Teresa?
Kim G shows up and Teresa cannot stop staring at her while she talks to Melissa, Kathy and Melissa's sisters. She knows that the NJ Chapter of Teresa Haters has just been created. Teresa makes a comment that Kim G is like 77 years old. If that is the case, I've changed my mind on getting plastic surgery someday because she does NOT look 77. Of course - she's not 77, she's 54.
Kim D stands up to kick off the show. Is it still Halloween? Because I think she's still half a hooker.
When it is time for Melissa to walk the runway, she has all of her "fans" standing up, whistling, taking pictures. It looks like pervert row at a strip club.
Kim D has Melissa walk twice down the runway. Trying to get someone to make it rain?
When Teresa is introduced Kim G who is so mature for a 54 year old asks her new friends the Teresa Haters if they should boo Teresa. Does anyone else think that maturity goes backwards in NJ? I think Teresa's daughters are more mature than Kim G.
The show is over and Kathy pulls Teresa aside to talk to her. She asks her what is up with her, what happened at the christening. Teresa says she didn't do anything, her brother did. Kathy is obviously on Melissa's side in this whole thing so she's basically trying to convince Teresa that she needs to apologize.
Kathy says that she was worried about the children (I'm sure her 14 year old was find with his knife collection) and tells Teresa that she found Audriana alone in a stroller and pushed the stroller out of the room. I don't remember seeing this happen last week but Kathy seems to be pushing this fact over and over again.
Teresa starts pointing in her face "DO NOT go there with me!" I don't blame her...you don't "go there" to a mother about her kids/parenting skills.
Caroline is trying to corral the crazy. She confronts Kathy and said that the conversation shouldn't have happened now and they can kill each other in their own homes, not at the Brownstone.
Next week Teresa is talking about her cookbook and she says "ingrediences" and "cumin" (but pronounces is "come-in". She wrote a cookbook...and says ingrediences and come-in.
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