16 & Pregnant Season Premiere: Jordan (from 4/19)

Jordan is from St. Louis. She has an identical twin Jessica but Jordan is 6 minutes more mature. I guess that's why she's the one who got knocked up.

Their father left (recurring theme much?) and their grandparents adopted and raised them since their mother couldn't handle it. When the twins were 15 they left high school to become models.

Aleta is the grandmother and she's still lecturing Jordan 7 months into the pregnancy. Well, she's probably just doing it for the show. "Having sex...that's basically what it's for...to reproduce."

Jessica - the creepy clingy twin - wants Jordan to go into labor when Brian (the baby daddy) is not around. She thinks that he'll understand when he has a niece or nephew. WHAT? He's the dad. I think he's a little closer to the baby than an aunt.

Jordan was on the pill but she found out too late that she wasn't on it long enough for it to start working. I'm assuming she popped the pill and then Brian popped his penis into her.  This is what happens when there is no sex ed. But damn, girl...pick up a Cosmo or something. Every other month they have facts and myths about birth control.

It's Jordan's baby shower and since they are so young, most of the attendees are their friends...you know...children with braces and stuff.

I think at some point they may have even played pin the tail on the donkey.

Grandma Aleta points out to everyone that Creepy Twin is feeling left out. Way to make everyone feel comfortable Gram.

Brian seems to be somewhat normal in comparison to the other teen dads. Aleta is allowing him to move in with them despite her concern that Creepy will flip out.

Once he moves in and Creepy is eating Swedish Fish for dinner, Aleta asks how she's feeling since Brian moved in. She says that it will "probably never going to be the same." Yeah, probably.

The twins go to a place called "Glazed & Confused" to paint plates and mugs. Nothing important happens here but I like the name of the place.

Brian tells Jordan that he only wants it to be the two of them in the room when she gives birth - and that he doesn't want Creepy to be there. He better run and hide because Creepy is going to scratch his eyes out when she hears this.

Jessica (Creepy) doesn't slit Brian's throat in his sleep so they all discuss the delivery room situation with Aleta as the mediator. We don't know what the decision is yet so Brian's fate is still not sealed.

On the way to her doctor's appointment, Jordan throws up sour cream on the side of the road. Well, it isn't actual sour cream...it's because she's drinking a lot of milk and apparently milk+stomach acid=sour cream. I would have thought it would be more like a tangy cheese.

Thankfully, Jordan says Jessica can be in the delivery room.  A week or so later she goes into labor and at the hospital she's 3cm. For some reason they put her on pitocin right away. This annoys me. They have not said anything about her bag of water breaking so I assume she's just still in early labor - WHY give her drugs? They don't explain this and I have a feeling Jordan doesn't know any better than to just go along with it but who knows.

Jessica asks how many people poop when they are in labor and the nurse says quite a bit. (I didn't!)

The pitocin really sends her along because 6 hours into labor she's ready to push. She's in pain and Brian tears up a little - finally...a baby daddy that feels bad.

An hour later little Noah must be crowning because Jessica's face says it all.

It is very sweet that Brian starts crying and as soon as they put him on Jordan's stomach she says "I love you!" to the baby and I want to cry too. And Noah is so cute.

The first night home the baby wakes up every 45 minutes or so. No matter what they do for editing on the show it will never express the sheer exhaustion that those first few nights cause.

Jessica wants to learn how to change the baby's diaper so Jordan starts to show her. However, this appears to be too big of a task and she needs Brian's help so Jessica turns into Creepy again, lurks behind them and then leaves the room.

Creepy's eyes are all puffy and she looks even more tired than Jordan - but hers are puffy from curling up in a ball crying that her sister doesn't need her anymore. I just can't feel bad for her because most people don't get to live with their sister and baby nephew - she should be happy.

Jordan is feeling guilty because Noah is constantly crying and she doesn't feel like he's getting enough breastmilk. I think this is the first time they've shown a teen mom feel that helplessness of not being able to comfort her own baby.

When the baby is up in the middle of the night and the camera guy is in the room I wonder for the first time if they sleep or take shifts just sit there waiting with the camera.

Poor Noah has severe acid reflux which is why he's been crying for 6 weeks straight. I kind of feel like since MTV has been criticized for "glamorizing" teen pregnancy that they are showing a lot more stressful moments with a newborn than they have in the past. But maybe I'm just paying attention more since I'm recapping.

Jessica is less creepy by the end of the episode but at one point she does (jokingly?) ask for a knife so she can stab Brian.


Just as a final note: Does EVERY COMMERCIAL have the Katy Perry song Firework? I'm going to shove a firework in my ear so I don't have to hear it anymore.