16 (well, 17) & Pregnant: Jamie (from 5/3)

So far all of the 16 & Pregnant moms have had names that start with "J".

Jamie is a straight A student who is also on the student council.  Her dad left when she was young so she and her sister were raised by a single mother. That's NEVER happened before on this show.

She is dating Ryan who is a party-type and has already lost his license for getting too many speeding tickets and a DUI - he's only 17 so basically he's done all this in probably under a year. Awesome guy to choose to knock you up. They didn't use any birth control. I guess she's one of those people who is "book smart" but doesn't have common sense.

Jamie admits that she's scared Ryan will slip up. I'm willing to bet he does.

She's having a girl and they will name her Maya. Thank goodness we haven't seen another Nevaeh - WORST NAME EVER.

Ryan can't come to Jamie's doctor's appointment because he has to meet with his lawyer. Luckily, Jamie doesn't seem to have any real questions about pregnancy, labor or the baby...when the doctor asks what she's concerned about at this point she is worried about stretch marks.

I was 31 when I was pregnant. I read every book possible, researched online, watched videos, took a birthing class, etc. but I STILL had questions every time I went to an appointment - and none of them had to do with stretch marks or vanity issues. 

Evidently people still use MySpace. This is news to me.  That is how Jamie's father found out that she was pregnant.

He hasn't wanted to talk to her since he found out but suddenly when she's got MTV cameras around he's all pumped about meeting her in a park. It's awkward and to make it even worse, Ryan, Jamie's stepmom and half-brother take a walk together to leave Jamie alone with her dad.

He basically tells her he will be in her life more. Sure.

One of Jamie's friend's name is Sybil. Who would do that to their daughter? "Who dat who say who dat who say who dat?"

Ryan's stepmother throws Jamie the baby shower at their house. Jamie's father didn't show up (oh wow, what a surprise!).

Ryan, Jamie and Jamie's mother discuss the living situation after Maya is born. Since Ryan and Jamie's mother don't get along (surprise!) the conversation doesn't go well.  After this, Ryan starts becoming more distant and when Jamie goes into labor she calls Ryan and he isn't picking up his phone. I imagine he's probably out drinking, like any teen dad-to-be should.

Jamie's explanation of how it feels to be in labor is that she feels like she has to pee and shit at the same time.

5 hours into her labor, Ryan shows up at the hospital saying that he's been staying up for three nights waiting for her phone call (suuuure) and the "one night" he knocks out is the night she goes into labor.  She can smell the alcohol on his breath.

6 hours into labor she can start to push. Damn, that was fast. Oh but she throws up in a little bucket. Since the heart rate is going down when Jamie is pushing, they say they may have to use forceps to get the baby out. She thinks they are like pliers.

Is anyone else annoyed that Ryan won't even STAND UP to hold her leg? Damn lazy piece of shit!

After Miah (yes, they spell it like that...ugh) was born, Jamie kicks him out of the hospital. She gets a lot of visitors the next day, including her own father.

On her second day home from the hospital, Ryan shows up seemingly hungover.  He thinks that he should be able to take Miah home with him to stay at his house. Ok, just start producing milk in your little man breasts and that will work out fine.  Plus, who wouldn't want to send their newborn home with this guy?

Ryan starts bawling when talking to Jamie and he's trying to talk and can't catch his breath. He thinks she should be able to pump enough so he can take Miah with him. No one in their right mind is going to give their newborn to this kid. "Oh she's asleep? Pass me that forty!"

He keeps calling to ask if he can just take Miah for a few hours. It's creepy.

He finally gets his license back and is taking Jamie and Miah to his parents' house for a Halloween party. He continues to bug her about taking the baby alone.

Time for Jamie to go back to school and she has to take Miah with her on the bus (there is a day care at school). She has to put her in a bus-baby-seat. I'm scared of that seat and I think Miah is too. 

Everyone is looking at Jamie strangely but I am looking at them strangely - why are the creeping around in hoodies?

Jamie avoids Ryan at school but then finds out that he has a new girlfriend and they've been dating for months. Everyone at school knew except her. Umm...hello? Where are her friends?! I guess Sybil's personality that is friends with Jamie didn't know about it, one of her others did.

Jamie confronts Ryan about him cheating on her and tells him that she's going to go through the court to figure out what is best for Miah.

I'm thinking that Jamie won't be picked for Teen Mom 3 because she actually wants to stay home and take care of her baby and doesn't seem to be the type to take back a shitty boyfriend.

Overall a boring episode but that usually means that the baby will probably have a better life.