Bad Girls Club aka “Full Grown Mature Char” (from 2/14)

I didn’t even post a recap from the last episode because it was pretty lame but I put it up so that it makes sense going to this week’s episode.

Does anyone else bob their head along with the theme song? For some reason I love it.

Char says “Words cannot describe how much I could care less about Sydney being gone.”
HELLO??? It’s “couldn’t care less”. 

She’s now on the phone with her friend saying that she’s so mature – and I LOVE that Oxygen cuts in all the clips of her acting like a child. I love it.

I can’t stand looking at Nikki. Yes, it is pure shallowness but I can’t stand that she has no lashes and barely any eyebrows. It’s like they were burned off in a freak accident.

The “ladies” (using that term VERY loosely) go out to a bar to eat and drink. Char is too mature for Nikki and Lauren Lips so their burping is just upsetting her.

That night, Jessica is sick so she’s chugging some sort of medicine. She’s in the “confessional” room and saying that there are bugs all around and they are making her sweat…she jumps up on the seat. I think you took too much of that cough medicine, dear. Or maybe she just dropped some acid, I don’t know.

(from www.theopenend.com)

The skanks head out in some classy outfits. As one describes Nikki’s – it’s like a “under wear, a bra and then a dress in between.”  Believe me, no one wants to see Nikki’s crotch. Even though she has no eyelashes or eyebrows, I have a feeling there’s a jungle down there.

Char is jealous that Nikki is making out with some dude at the bar so she claims the guy is “shady” and it is embarrassing.

Suddenly, Natalie Nunn from Season 4 shows up. Talk about a reality TV whore. She shows up at the club on every season of the BGC. I cannot STAND this girl. She’s the one who always says “I run LA”. Ok no one besides me and the other 25 people that watch the Bad Girls Club know who you are.

(from http://www.zimbio.com/)

(I have to warn you – don’t Google images of Natalie Nunn because I saw what seems like a still from a sex tape and she has some ugly nipples).

Of course Lauren Lips is STARSTRUCK by Natalie. This doesn’t surprise me. Char is upset about this because she’s too cool for Natalie. I’m going to have to agree with that, actually.

Char doesn’t like people around her that do embarrassing things and she doesn’t like to be embarrassed…why the fuck did you audition for The Bad Girls Club? Next to Las Vegas Jailhouse or Cops this is the most embarrassing show to be on. Well and any VH1 reality show.

She also says she’s “too grown”. Why do people think that “grown” and “mature” are the same thing? We have a full grown dog who eats his own poop. Grown does not equal mature.

Full grown Char is walking around the house in tiny purple boy short underwear and a tank top that is pulled up so her stomach is revealed. She’s putting her fingers into an “L” on her forehead to explain that someone is a “loser”. Now all she needs is some Cheetos cheese on her fingers and she’s in Britney Spears territory.

Kori (blondie) pulls Char aside for some reason to tell her about her childhood. She was basically abducted and thrown into rehab by her parents when she was 12 because she ran away from home and was misbehaving. She wasn’t doing drugs or drinking at that time, just being “bad”. I am so distracted by the fact that she talks out of the right side of her mouth and I just keep wondering if she had a mini-stroke or something.  Oh – and we find out Kori wanted to tell Char this because she’s so “mature”. Seriously.

Anyway, Nikki invites the guy she met at the bar and his friends over. Char, viewing their entrance from the balcony upstairs says that the roommates “have men spending the night that don’t get up and go to work in the morning. I’m grown, like, I don’t want a man that does not have a job.” Ugh, enough with the grown!

Nikki changes from her mini dress and climbs into bed very asexually with a sports bra and what looks like boxer briefs. She claims (to the camera during interview time) that Char needs to pick up her game because she’s taken home more guys and gotten more numbers.

If picking up your game means picking up some herpes, I’m not sure people want to follow your lead Manly-no-eyebrows-Nikki. But damn, go to Victoria’s Secret if you’re going to have sexy time with strangers.

The next day full grown Char is laying on the couch, legs spread open while wearing cotton bikini underwear. She’s really showing her maturity here. At the bar later that night she sees a guy she thinks is cute, a “blasian” (black and Asian guy). Miss Maturity writes on a napkin “Do you like her, check yes or no?”

The guy has a girlfriend and her friend comes to say something to the “seventh grader” who wrote the note. Hilarious.

Back at the house, Char and Kori are making fun of Lauren Lips’ accent. Lauren pushes Char and now they are arguing by pointing their fingers into each others face. Char tells Lauren she’s “going to look like Oprah” (?????) and then throws water at her.

Somehow Lauren’s strapless dress comes down as she fights with Char and Kori. Kori just keeps throwing her body at Lauren as if her arms are stuck to her side. Lauren is actually throwing punches.

Char says she’s not a child, she’s 27 and she did that when she was 21 and 25. I guess at 22, 23 and 24 she kept her mouth shut.

I’m so sick of this mature, grown shit, especially coming from someone who is clearly the most immature in the house. The next day she’s AGAIN walking around in her underwear and making stupid comments to Lauren Lips. She goes over to the corner of the living room in her undies to workout.

When Kori walks in the room, Char says “The beluga whale has been quiet all morning, she must be sick or something!” talking about Lauren. OMG. PLEASE someone punch Char in the vagina. Please.

Bravo again to Oxygen for showing previous clips to prove the hypocrisy!!

That night at the club Natalie is there again (surprise, surprise). She introduces some singer who is wearing a black leather bathing suit, fishnets and a side ponytail.

I definitely think Char has won the honor of the most annoying “Bad Girl” ever. I’m actually embarrassed for her.  She’s repeating the insults she spewed in the limo to herself in the kitchen. Most of it doesn’t even make sense.

Next week there’s a call from Playboy, a new roommate who thinks having fun means getting naked and lots of fighting between Full Grown Char and Lauren Lips.

FEEDBACK!

Good morning my wonderfully awesome blog readers!!

I would like to ask you for a favor...I want to know what you like about my recaps. If you have a chance, either comment below the post you're reading or send me an email at whoopsiegirl@gmail.com.

These are things I'm interested in hearing:

1.  What particular parts made you laugh out loud, if any?

2.  Would you rather simple recaps or do you like when I add pictures?

3.  Do you like the new additions of me including Amazon.com products that relate to what I'm talking about for that particular show? (ie. Monistat 7 link when talking about Sammi's too tight shorts, Reality Bites DVD when talking about Jenelle & Reefer's hemp necklaces)

4. Are there other reality shows you watch that you would enjoy hearing me recap? And no, I will absolutely NOT watch American Idol so don't even mention it. :-)

5. Would you like an email sent to you when a new blog post is written?

6.  Any other comments are welcomed - help me to make my blog better and more exciting for you to read!

THANKS!!

(from http://www.timthethief.com/)



Upcoming Recaps

The Bad Girls Club - from 2/14

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - The Dinner Party From Hell - from 2/15

Survivor: Redemption Island - Season Premiere - from 2/16

Jersey Shore - from 2/17

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Parts 1 & 2 - from 2/13 and 2/20

The Bad Girls Club - from 2/21

Teen Mom 2 - from 2/22

The Real Housewives of Miami - Season Premiere - from 2/22

Survivor: Redemption Island - from 2/23

Jersey Shore - from 2/24

Teen Mom 2 (from 2/15)

We’re starting off with Chelsea. She’s worried that even though things are going smooth right now with the Three’s Company situation, (Chelsea is DEFINITELY Chrissy Snow) things might change because Mr. Furley is going to make Jack pay rent.

Whoops I mean Chelsea’s Dad is going to make Adam pay rent.

Adam is mumbling something about if he has to pay rent then he shouldn’t have to pay child support. Apparently being a father to him only means MAYBE paying rent, not actually buying things for the child. I mean, that’s what Chelsea’s dad is for, right?


Jack, Chrissy and Janet are hanging around discussing their absence of food. They have two Toaster Strudels left. Yum!

Jack is pissed at Chrissy because she asked him to pay rent but she hasn’t asked Janet to pay yet. I’m kinda with him on this one, but poor Janet is screwed in this deal. She was livin’ large for free since Jack came back.

Now, I’m going to stop referring to Three’s Company because I actually love Jack Tripper and I do not like Baby Daddy Adam.

Chelsea, Aubree and her dad, Randy, meet up for lunch so she can give her dad an update on her schooling.  Randy suggests that maybe she get a job at a tanning salon and who knows? She might meet a nice guy there. Evidently, Randy has not seen the Jersey Shore.

Adam and Megan are fighting back at the house. Megan texts Chelsea that she’s staying at her parents’ house for the night.


Adam finds out Megan’s cell number and sends her the following text:

“hey if u cant pay rent or nething u have to move out”

I hope she responds with “If you can’t spell correctly you need to be kicked in the nuts.”









Sometime in the future, Chelsea is having a conversation with Megan on her cell and I’m pretty sure both of them only heard about 2 words they said because they are both talking at the same time.  I HATE that about cell phones.

Megan is moving out and all of the sudden she starts screaming and swearing at Adam. Megan makes a great point as she leaves the house – that she was there for Chelsea when Adam treated her like shit. I may dislike Chelsea more than I dislike Adam.

Chelsea and Megan must’ve bought some furniture together and now have to split it up because there is a giant wicker basket chair in the living room with no cushion. Somewhere at Megan's parents' house is a big cushion on the floor.


Jenelle has been kicked out of her mother’s home. She and a random dog are crashing on a tacky couch at her friend’s house. This couch is that “hotel pastel” color.  You know what I’m talking about. The kind of couch you don’t want to sit on.

Barbara still hasn’t submitted her information for Jenelle’s financial aid yet somehow Jenelle went into the financial aid office looking TOTALLY sober thinking there would be some magical solution.

Jenelle’s mom finally fills out the paperwork. Jenelle decides to stop by the house to see Jace and thank Barbara for the paperwork. Barbara invites Jenelle to Jace’s birthday party.

Jace pretty much sprints out of the room after a toy truck and Jenelle is surprised that he’s walking. Clearly he’s been doing it for a while because he’s a pro. Barbara says he’s been doing it for a week now. Jenelle still doesn’t interact with him like a mother should with a son. No laughing, smiling, tickling. It is quite sad.

Jenelle bought some sort of Spiderman toy for Jace’s first birthday.  Barbara tries to convince her to return it and buy Jace a silver cup with his name on it because he doesn’t even know what presents are. I’m not sure what the silver cup is either. I guess she’s planning on him chewing tobacco and needs a monogrammed spit cup in the future.

It’s the day of the party and we know this because of the balloons out front, some random man outside the sliding glass door and three family members that stop by.

The Spiderman toy is actually a little four wheeler and even Jenelle’s 12 year old family member knows that he’s too little for it.

While sitting at the table during cake time, there is a tweaker sitting next to Jenelle who is also wearing a hemp necklace. Ok, if it weren’t for the modern day cell phones and the fact that Jenelle is wearing “Silly Bandz” I would seriously think this was being filmed in 1994.

Next week, it looks like Jenelle and Reefer are no longer eligible to stay on the pastel couch. Maybe they should move onto those couches that were outside on the lawn that one time.







Kailyn and Isaac are still homeless since Jo’s parents kicked them out. Kim, Kailyn’s friend who wears the side ponytails and painted on shorts on trips to Staples is being uber supportive by driving Kailyn somewhere and telling her “Your life just sucks.”

She reveals to Kim and the cameramen that she doesn’t want to be with Jo. I guess two people that have no personality at all aren’t a good match after all. Maybe one of them has to be funny or smart for the relationship to last.

Kailyn is telling her mother about the situation. For some reason her mom keeps referring to Jo by his full first name, Jonathan and doesn’t use “he” or “him”.

Kailyn’s mother wants her to reconsider not wanting to be with Jo because of the financial aspect.  Awesome advice.  Clearly she doesn’t want Kailyn to move in and I think the whole purpose of this visit was a big “hint hint” from Kailyn.

So not only does Jo have long fingernails, he also wears socks with sandals.

Kailyn always looks miserable. She’s miserably sitting in her car waiting for Jo to get in and she’s pouting. Jo miserable mug gets in the car so they can have a talk. They have a miserable conversation and say their miserable goodbyes.

They are back at Jo’s parents since they have no place to go and they want to talk to Kailyn and Jo about their situation. It is another miserable conversation where no one looks at each other in their eyes.  I don’t know where Kailyn thinks she’s going to go but she’s refusing to move in with Jo anywhere.


Leah and Corey still have to wait another month before Ali’s MRI. In the meantime, a development specialist is at the house to assess the situation.

I would comment on the ugly couches in the background but I feel so bad for Leah. I can’t imagine what she’s going through.

Ok, it is a new scene and I see a completely different couch. How many damn couches to they have? They probably could have afforded a nicer house if they just stopped buying couches.

MTV has not taken my request for Corey subtitles into consideration so I’m a little lost.  I can tell because of Leah’s end of the conversation that they are talking about their daughter.

Another day, Leah and Corey go to get their pictures taken with the twins. Thank goodness Corey isn’t wearing a hat. When the babies smile, they look JUST like Leah! They are too cute.

Oh no, I spoke too soon. Not only is Corey wearing a hat, but so is Leah and they are in camouflage for their next photos. Is it terrible that I suspect they also posed with beer cans and rifles but MTV just didn’t show those shots?

The two lovebirds leave the girls with the grandparents and they go on a date to the county fair. Leah tells Corey she’s getting on birth control and Corey says he wants another baby – a boy. He then says they could go to the courthouse tomorrow and get married. What a romantic!

I take that back because he’s now in a fancy jewelry shop buying Leah an engagement ring. And by fancy, I mean there are paintings on the wall that would go awesome with the hotel-pastel colored couch that Jenelle’s sleeping on.

Bad Girls Club (from 2/7)

DISCLAIMER: I never posted this one from last week because nothing happened but I’m posting it anyway just in case I recap the one from 2/14. I apologize if it isn’t funny or doesn’t make sense, I didn’t even re-read it like I normally do before posting.

We left off last week with the fight between new girl, Ashley and Lauren Lips. Ashley had Lauren by the neck.

I don’t even remember what the fight was about at this point.

Suddenly blondie has Ashley’s hair and will not let go and vice versa.  I can’t imagine how much it would hurt if these girls didn’t have extensions!

People keep separating everyone but they are all running and escaping! Looks like Ashley is leaving in a van as the rest of the girls in Bad Girls Club fashion, throw all of her belongings out in the yard.

Cops came again…no one is arrested.

The next morning, Ashley’s things are in a pile in the yard and that includes a big curly black wig…if I didn’t know any better, I’d think someone was actually passed out underneath the pile of stuff. It was a little creepy.

For some reason, one mattress is lifted up against the wall and there is a towel and a bucket in the middle of the boxspring. I hope someone explains this because it makes no sense at all. Is the ceiling leaking? Did someone use that to puke and if so, why is the bucket in the middle of the boxspring and not on the floor?  Is there some sort of animal sacrifice going on? Is there a human head in there? Perhaps the head that belongs to the hair in the driveway? It could be anything.

The girls go out to the bar in hopes of picking up some guys. Manly Nikki makes out with a guy and her tongue is lapping him up like a dog with his head in the toilet. Gross. Who taught her to kiss like that?

Nothing crazy happens.

The next morning, Ashley walks up – apparently she wasn’t kicked off, she just stayed in a hotel for a day.

For some reason lots of these girls when they are excusing their fighting behavior, they say “I’m from __________” fill in the blank “and we don’t put up with that” or something along those lines. I want to hear one of them say something like “I’m from Fart, Virginia and we know how to fight.”

Real city name…seriously. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1590659/top_50_cities_with_funny_names_from.html

Lauren calls Ashley “an extra” as an insult. She’s SUCH a bad girl. Next she’s going to whip out the “nitwit” or “geekburger” a la Kimmy Gibler.

Jem calls from her on location video shoot with the Holograms. She’s coming back, Ashley picks her up from the airport.

Char is upset that Jem isn’t picking sides upon her return.

Nikki and Lauren go to a tattoo parlor. Lauren gets “GTL” tattooed inside her bottom lip. We have a Jersey shore crossover! Fucking loser.

Lauren gets “fuck you” tattooed in HER bottom lip. Fucking loser.

Char – the person who has thrown clothes, cameras and other’s belongings over the balcony into the yard and the pool – claims that because she is 27, she and her friends are much more mature than the other girls. However, she is angry at Jem for writing on Ashley’s picture that she’s her “best friend”.  Someone get Char a dictionary please! She does not know what the word “mature” means.

We’re now a 1/2 hour in and nothing has happened. BORING. Miami was much more exciting.

The girls get a package the next morning that says “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to San Francisco!” Since when is San Francisco a “bad girls” place?  It just didn’t sound right.

Shouldn’t it have been Vegas or Miami or something?

Jessica is excited for the “safe deposit box” in the hotel room’s closet.

While preparing to go out in San Fran, Nikki uses a “bump it” in her hair so she has a poof in front like Snooki. (Jersey Shore crossover!) Char says that people are going to be like “I want to climb Mount Everest, can I climb you?”

Crickets…at least on our end. Lauren thinks this is hilarious and probably pees a little. I hope there was something cut out that was actually funny because otherwise this is just sad.

Nikki asks a guy at the bar how old he is and he says “It starts with twenty and rhymes with ‘ive’”.

Crickets.

Seriously Oxygen? This is the shit you’re giving us?

Jem is trying to pick up a guy by talking about her bisexuality. Is she 21 and is this 1999?  It works because she’s making out with him despite the fact that she has a boyfriend. This is the second time she’s cheated.

Suddenly a man in a sailor suit is sitting next to Lauren, trying to get her to talk. I’m so confused.

Nikki is wasted, laying on the floor of the limo, her dress is riding up and down at the same time.

The next day the girls go sailing, complete with a “king of the world” Titanic reference. What’s next a trip to the library to sit through a reading of The Grapes of Wrath? BORING!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m seriously considering just erasing this entire recap because it is just not worth talking about. All of the girls seem miserable and annoying.

Jersey Shore (from 2/10) aka Worst Relationship on TV: The Ron & Sam Saga

Last week, Sammi and Ron broke up again. Hopefully it lasts this time because she is the MOST ANNOYING GIRLFRIEND EVER.

I don’t know why The Situation doesn’t sleep on the couch. Damn, I’d sleep in the STD laden jacuzzi before being in the same room as those two for more than a minute.  He’s talking to Sam about Ron not realizing that Ron is in the next room washing what looks like a condom in the sink. 

I love Pauly D. but his hair is starting to look like Kid from Kid N Play.

(from allstarpics.net)

While I was looking for pictures of Kid, I saw this tee and I wish I had it.

(from 80stees.com)

To take his mind off Sammi, Pauly D and Ron go on some rides. Sammi and Deena go and have some shots on the boardwalk. While sitting at the bar, they see the two boys walk by (I’m sure there was a crowd following them with the cameras) and Psycho Sammi says “I think he was with a girl!” PUKE. 

So, she starts chatting it up with the first penis she sees. She even talks to a shirtless man who is wearing his backpack.

Back at the house, Sam wants to talk to Ron again. STOP SAYING YOU NEED TO TALK. Can’t it just be over? Can I sue MTV for annoying the shit out of me? Better yet, can I sue Sammi for pain and suffering? Well, I’m putting myself through this but people sue for all kinds of things nowadays.

Ron is confronting The Situation about talking about him earlier that day.  Ron says it is none of Mike’s business what goes on with him and Sam yet Ron and Sam argue in front of all of them constantly.

I don’t really know what this conversation is about, Ron keeps saying “girl code” and “guy code” while the rest of the roommates sit around and stare at them. See, this is why saying it isn’t someone’s business is out of the question.

JWoww and her new ugly boyfriend Roger are going on a date to a Mexican restaurant.  On their way out, Snooki reminds them not to eat the beans so they don’t fart it up in the “smoosh room” aka “The Bed of Crabs”. I love that Snooki talks about poop almost as much as I do.

At the Spicy Cantina restaurant, people keep coming up to Roger acting like they haven’t seen him in a while. Who else thinks he told his friends “I’ll be with the MTV camera crew tonight so come on down and wear your best wife beater.”?

Oh no, back at the house you know who are having ANOTHER conversation. Ron says “Be a woman and man up…”. He’s so smart.

Deena, Snooki and Sam are chillin’ at the picnic table on the porch and I swear I thought they were using a pie as an ashtray. I think I can smell them through the TV.

Sammi acts like she’s 14 years old and says she wants to find a hot guy to hook up with that night, literally 5 minutes after her “final” break up conversation with Ron. Holy insecure codependent mess!?!? Geez, the herpes aren’t even cold yet and she’s already moving onto another STD.

Ron claims that “Single Ronnie’s coming back to play”. Oh yeah, we can see him dancing like a little wooden puppet again!! I can’t wait.

I just realized what the Windex on the floor from last week is from. Pauly D. is spraying and cleaning his sneakers with it! They shine like the top of the Chrysler Building! He says he can’t even concentrate with all the fighting! “They’re talking about relationships…my sneakers are dirty!” He should really use sneaker cleaner but I suppose Windex does the trick.

Have I said how much I love Pauly D.?

Now Ron is taking Sam’s stuff from the closet and throwing it out on the porch. The Situation is trying to dissolve the situation but no one is paying any attention. He calls for backup so the boys come up. Ron is seriously picking up Sam’s bed while she’s on it! This is definitely their biggest fight yet. Yesssss!!

No matter how annoying I find Sammi, I’m actually kind of scared of Ron and his ‘roid rage right now. He’s telling Sam that she never cooked for him. One of the many reasons he cheated on her in Miami, I suppose. Those skanks probably probably promised him lasagna every Sunday and maybe even offered to toss a salad. Eww…sorry. I couldn’t help it.

He’s back in the bedroom throwing all of Sam’s stuff onto the porch, including her bed. Psycho!!!!

Deena and Snooki are both shorter than 5 feet tall and while wearing heels. they are trying unsuccessfully to move Sam’s bed downstairs. Snooki compares it to Vinny’s penis not fitting into her “pinhole”.

Everyone is headed out to get drunk. Because alcohol is going to make everything much less volatile. Of course, the girls go to the same club as the boys and Sam immediately stands on the stage and says “HOT GUYS COME HERE!” Her bra is hanging out already and she’s rubbing her butt up on some guy. He’s not even cute.

The Situation takes Ron back to the house and he throws the rest of Sam’s things outside onto the porch, steps on things, breaks them…all the mature things you do after a breakup.  I’m just waiting for him to set her hair on fire when she gets back from the bar.

Oh man, they’re talking again. Blah, blah, **beep**, blah, **beeping beep**, blah. **Beep**. Fuck. *Beep*.

JWoww and Roger are back at the house and she dresses in her leather hooker outfit from the sex shop and you can practically hear Roger getting a boner.

Yup, that’s right, I said boner. RIP, Boner…RIP.

(from parcbench.com)

The next day Deena and Snooks head to the boardwalk. A guy delivers two shots on a cafeteria tray and when he walks away to get his own shot, the girls notice he’s wearing tight neon green bathing suit shorts. He claims they are retro.  When do the 80’s officially become “retro”? Are we there already?

Snooki tells him that she can see his wiener through the shorts. Deena calls it a “camel toe”.

Sam decides that she needs to go home. This is the smartest thing she’s done on this show. There’s no way it could be her idea.

She tells Vinny that she’s leaving and asks him not to tell anyone because she wants to tell them. When Ron asks what they were talking about upstairs, Vinny says “It has to do with packing and something that rhymes with weaving.” Slick.

I wonder if anyone cried while watching Ron and Sam hug, cry and say goodbye? If you did please tell me where you live so I can smack you.

She’s really leaving! Ding dong the crazy’s gone!! I’m actually surprised at how much Ronnie is crying about this. Do ‘roids make you sad, too?

This entire episode was about Sam & Ron.  Final thought in honor of Sammi’s departure: she must get a lot of yeast infections from those airtight shorts she wears. I wonder if Monistat 7 has reached out to her to be their spokesperson?

Until next week boys and girls, let your junk breathe whether it is internal or external.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Lost Footage

I wasn’t even going to recap this episode because it is just “lost footage” so I didn’t think I’d have much to say.

Then Camille made the comment about how even though they are rich, they still have problems like everyone else…money problems. “Yes they’re different, they’re just on a larger scale.”

I want to punch this woman in the face! A LARGER SCALE problem would be people who can’t afford to pay for electricity, heat, food or their rent/mortgage. The LARGE SCALE problem would be people being homeless due to their money issues.

Yes, Camille, you might have a problem picking out the color for your LARGE house or deciding which airline to take to Hawaii. Just because the house and the plane are big, it doesn’t make them LARGE SCALE problems.

The rich ladies have “cut corners” by not taking private jets when they travel.

Camille is just “so generous”!!

I was going to say she needs to have a piece of humble pie but that’s just not severe enough. There should be a humble stick.

Now we move onto a collective group of clips to showcase Kim’s…tweaky nature, for lack of a better term. We have a scene where Kim heads to the same psychic that Kyle sees.

We find out that Kim was dating a man named John. She was on the phone with him and he was murdered while on the phone. So the medium told Kim that he’s trying to call her from the beyond so she needs to give him her phone number. The dead guy. Her phone number. So he can call her.

Moving on….

The conversation at the reunion turns to plastic surgery. Of course they’ve all had some.  In a clip it is revealed by Taylor that she LIKES for her forehead NOT to move. Basically she’s saying she wants to look plastic and fake. I don’t get these women.

Jiggy is Lisa Vanderpump’s tiny dog who has alopecia and wears clothes. He is so cute and he goes everywhere with Lisa.

(from newsodrome.com)

The poor thing only has fur on his head, front legs and back legs. His body is bare like a Siamese cat. The breeder sends an email to Lisa and tells her that Jiggy needs to be put down. WHAT? Because he is losing fur and itches?  I almost cried.

Of course, they call the vet to talk to him about it. There is actually an animal hospital for “small animals” in Beverly Hills. I guess there are a lot of people carrying around little puppies.  They are going to use a different medication so hopefully Jiggy’s itching will stop. Poor little Gigolo.

Adrienne and Paul seem to be the most normal couple to me. She doesn’t cook (just like me) and they bust each other’s balls a lot (just like me and my husband). Except we don’t own any hotels or basketball teams.

At Kyle’s “White Party” her daughter Portia falls asleep in her arms so she goes to lay her in the crib and she immediately wakes up. For some reason, Kyle just slides right into the crib with her. It looked very strange.

Back down in the dancing area, Kyle’s husband Mauricio is dancing and some blonde woman is whispering in his ear. Apparently saying something along the lines of “Does your wife take care of you?”

Kyle comes over and rips the woman away from Mauricio, it was AWESOME. She screamed at her and made her leave.

Camille attended the Tony’s with Kelsey even though he had already told her that he wanted a divorce.  At dinner after, Camille says “I miss you” and Kelsey says “Thanks.” Walk away…just walk away…one of you walk away…

Soooooooo awkward.

Seriously, someone come and sit down next to them to stop the awkwardness. Thank goodness, people came. But it is still awkward because Camille is showing off some big black diamond ring and saying she wants to go into the “mines in South Africa to find Tanzania”.

It could only be more awkward if Kelsey’s new girlfriend showed up.

Oh wait it can be more awkward. Camille is standing alone outside near the fountain and saying “I lost all my friends.” Kelsey’s probably already long gone humping his new fiancé.

This lost footage special wasn’t as exciting as I first expected. Oh well.

YEAH Next week there is a special about the dinner party from hell (the one with the bitch, Allison Dubois!) YEAH! More lost footage. They are really just stretching out the premiere of the Miami Housewives.