Oh yes, we left off when the psychic told Ramona that there was another woman. Both Kelly and LuMann are translating for Ramona and I can't believe I actually like Kelly right now. LuMann keeps "shhsshhing" Kelly because she doesn't like that she's translating while LuMann is trying to interpret what the woman is saying.
Ramona is in denial of any kind of other woman. Of course she does because she's so full of herself. But also because this is a psychic. Who the hell is going to listen to some psychic in Morocco about your life at home in the NYC?
Brad's friend pulls Ramona aside and tells her not to take things personally. Ramona says she knows lots of women hit on Mario, even LuMann the first time she met him.
Over in another conversation Jill says that she's heard from her "crowd" that Mario is cheating on Ramona. And she only brings this up to the ladies after a psychic does? What a bitch!
While farting, Sonja is crying and making it sound like she knows about Mario cheating. She's worried that Ramona is going to be separating from Mario. Do people actually leave their spouses based on what a psychic says??
The next day (?) the ladies are taking a van to go shopping. LuMann needs to run to the bathroom so she tells Sonja to save her seat for her in the front of the van. When Cindy gets in 30 seconds or so later, Sonja tells her she's saving her seat for her and Cindy is just not having it. For some reason Kelly forfeits her seat and leaves the van. Looks like they are traveling separately.
Sonja is worried that her money will be stolen - but she's dressed like a "rich American" according to Jill. She should be wearing a fanny pack in order to look like someone from whom people won't steal.
Yes...Jill is wearing a fanny pack.
Cindy confronts Sonja about her saving the seat in the van. Sonja is appalled. I used to love Sonja but she's going downhill quickly. Cindy is overreacting a little and I seriously wish I could put some duct tape over everyone's mouth right now except Kelly. I'm SHOCKED at myself for saying that.
Camel toe time. I mean...camel riding time. Sonja is scared to ride because she fell off the horse with Kelly a few weeks ago. But Alex thinks that something else is going on with her. I have no idea what kind of clues she's getting from her refusal to ride a camel. Sonja walks next to them.
LuMann's camel tries to buck her off several times. In the previews they made it seem like she was thrown off but this unfortunately did not happen. LuMann gets off and one of the guides has to walk with it and it is almost throwing him on the ground.
At the end of the camel ride they all have dinner and drinks in a large tent in the middle of the desert. They are playing a "game" where they tell everyone something that they don't know about each other. Everyone's is pretty boring but somewhat upbeat. Alex decided to tell them that her father died when she was 11 years old. Sonja tells them about all of her hobbies like taking baths and yoga.
Sonja talks about her fears of traveling to Morocco and everyone just tries to talk over each other. Cindy is finally fed up and she walks out. Of course, then everyone except LuMann and Kelly follow her outside and they all talk over each other out there. Jill and Ramona start hugging for some reason.
The next day some of the ladies have diarrhea. This is more than I've ever needed to know about the Real Housewives. To make things worse, Sonja says that Ramona has blown up her room. Gross.
Everyone goes to some sort of spa. Kelly informs us that the scrub rub-down happens everywhere on the body. Gross.
I'm so bored with this Morocco trip, especially finding out that LuMann did NOT fall off a camel.
Jill and Ramona decide to have a talk about their fight later on at the resort. Ramona tells Jill that she's two-faced. Ramona brings up lots of little comments that Jill has said, stupid jokes that Ramona takes too seriously.
They continue to talk over each other. I want to rip the ears off my head but I'm afraid that I would still hear them.
Jill jumps up and starts screaming at Ramona. Ramona doesn't doesn't want to hear anything Jill is saying. Jill tells Ramona that unless she apologizes to her they can never be friends. This still has something to do with the St. John trip and Jill's falling out with Bethenny.
Jill asks where her nice friend Ramona is and tells her that she's changed. Ramona comes back with the very adult "You've changed...everyone says it." I think she's going to put her thumbs against her temples and start waving her fingers saying "Neener neener neener!"
They end the conversation and they both cry.
Next week looks a little more interesting...lets hope so.
Showing posts with label the countess. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the countess. Show all posts
Monday, June 6, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Real Housewives of NYC: Stop Saying Hangers (from 5/26)
Kelly, Jill, Cindy and LuMann are on their way to Morocco and LuMann is teaching some Arabic words. She's so condescending "Darling.....darling....."
The place they are staying is AMAZING and looks so peaceful - too bad three of the most annoying voices in NYC are staying there. LuMann, Jill and Ramona.
Ramona, Sonja and Alex are flying separately and will show up the next day. Ramona is still afraid that she's going to be staying in some kind of hostel and she won't have white sheets and her Pinot Grigio at all times.
At the airport, Alex is pushing some sort of space station full of space age luggage.
On the way to their place, Ramona is freaking out a little because of the dust and you know...the poverty. She and Sonja are being so offensive talking to each other about how they are a bit scared. The van driver should just drop them off...at least Alex has the decency to tell us in interview that she was apalled by them.
Once they arrive, Sonja is scared that someone is going to steal her luggage from the van. While they are inside having snacks and drinks Sonja goes outside to double check on her luggage. She doesn't want her hats stolen.
Ramona needs help unpacking. I think she brought her entire wardrobe including some very inappropriate outfits. Inappropriate for Morocco but also for her age. She has a shitload of jewelry with her, on stands and everything. I think she plans to sell it to the staff.
She brought some specific shorts for "camel riding". I think she's confused with "camel toe".
While the woman that works there is helping to unpack, Ramona is talking to Sonja and lifting weights. Then they start pretending to belly dance. The woman is behind them working her ass off.
How is it that I like Kelly and LuMann better than Ramona and Sonja right now?
Cindy comes inside to her room and thinks that someone stole her hangers. Ramona "requested" 40 hangers...FORTY HANGERS??? You need 40 fucking hangers for a vacation?
Anyway, Cindy is pissed because she's assuming Ramona took them. LuMann gathers up like 15 of them to bring them to Ramona just in case.
Ramona and Sonja head out for a ride in the van to relax instead of joining the ladies for lunch. Good thing because LuMann, Kelly, Cindy and Jill need to gossip about them. Kelly says that Sonja lives in an awful place that is messy. LuMann is actually defending Sonja.
A bit later, the four of them head out shopping and Jill runs into her friend Brad and some woman that she knows. Who runs into friends in Morocco? It is Brad's birthday and they are having a party for him. How convenient! Also convenient - Brad hates Ramona.
Back at the resort, LuMann tries to invite Ramona and Sonja downstairs to let them in on the plan to go to Brad's party but they are busy acting drunk and trying on clothes with no underwear. Sonja says she didn't even pack any.
They eventually come downstairs and LuMann has a surprise for them. The most famous designer in Morocco is there. He designs kaftans, gowns, etc. Ramona announces that she needs something sexy because she doesn't like the "kaftan look"...as she insults most of the women in the room and in Morocco.
She's paranoid that the designer didn't write her name down on the photo of the dress she wants so she stalks him and makes sure even though he only speaks French.
Once he starts measuring Ramona she makes sure to tell him that she wants to show cleavage. You know who I feel bad for? Avery...her daughter.
When someone decides that a log needs to be put in the fire, Ramona suggests that the designer do it. Then she and Sonja say "We need one of those ding-dings"...um...a bell? Imagine if you worked at this place and Ramona and Sonja had a BELL to call for you when they needed you to do something?
DING DING DING "I need an extra pillow!"
DING DING DING "Pinio Grigio, NOW!"
DING DING DING "I just pooped, can you wipe my butt? I'm not used to having to do all of these things myself."
Party time. Brad supposedly hates Sonja but he gives her a kiss on the cheek and tells her how great she looks.
LuMann points out the buffet but she says it like Phoebe Buffet (Boo-fay).
Ramona is texting on her pink phone waiting for her Pinot. I'm surprised she didn't bring her own box full of Ramona kind to try sell to everyone and then drink it all.
A guy is about to make out with a rattlesnake.
Afterwards when it is slithering on the floor it has a big line of drool coming out of its mouth. Sonja wonders if it is venom or semen. How are these women going to last this whole vacation with Ramona and Sonja?
The ladies all sit with a psychic and she tells them that Ramona's husband has "another woman.
Apparently all of the good stuff we saw in the commercials happen in the next few episodes because tonight was pretty uneventful. But it sounds like this episode set the scene for Ramona/Sonja hijinks.
The place they are staying is AMAZING and looks so peaceful - too bad three of the most annoying voices in NYC are staying there. LuMann, Jill and Ramona.
Ramona, Sonja and Alex are flying separately and will show up the next day. Ramona is still afraid that she's going to be staying in some kind of hostel and she won't have white sheets and her Pinot Grigio at all times.
At the airport, Alex is pushing some sort of space station full of space age luggage.
On the way to their place, Ramona is freaking out a little because of the dust and you know...the poverty. She and Sonja are being so offensive talking to each other about how they are a bit scared. The van driver should just drop them off...at least Alex has the decency to tell us in interview that she was apalled by them.
Once they arrive, Sonja is scared that someone is going to steal her luggage from the van. While they are inside having snacks and drinks Sonja goes outside to double check on her luggage. She doesn't want her hats stolen.
Ramona needs help unpacking. I think she brought her entire wardrobe including some very inappropriate outfits. Inappropriate for Morocco but also for her age. She has a shitload of jewelry with her, on stands and everything. I think she plans to sell it to the staff.
She brought some specific shorts for "camel riding". I think she's confused with "camel toe".
While the woman that works there is helping to unpack, Ramona is talking to Sonja and lifting weights. Then they start pretending to belly dance. The woman is behind them working her ass off.
How is it that I like Kelly and LuMann better than Ramona and Sonja right now?
Cindy comes inside to her room and thinks that someone stole her hangers. Ramona "requested" 40 hangers...FORTY HANGERS??? You need 40 fucking hangers for a vacation?
Anyway, Cindy is pissed because she's assuming Ramona took them. LuMann gathers up like 15 of them to bring them to Ramona just in case.
Ramona and Sonja head out for a ride in the van to relax instead of joining the ladies for lunch. Good thing because LuMann, Kelly, Cindy and Jill need to gossip about them. Kelly says that Sonja lives in an awful place that is messy. LuMann is actually defending Sonja.
A bit later, the four of them head out shopping and Jill runs into her friend Brad and some woman that she knows. Who runs into friends in Morocco? It is Brad's birthday and they are having a party for him. How convenient! Also convenient - Brad hates Ramona.
Back at the resort, LuMann tries to invite Ramona and Sonja downstairs to let them in on the plan to go to Brad's party but they are busy acting drunk and trying on clothes with no underwear. Sonja says she didn't even pack any.
They eventually come downstairs and LuMann has a surprise for them. The most famous designer in Morocco is there. He designs kaftans, gowns, etc. Ramona announces that she needs something sexy because she doesn't like the "kaftan look"...as she insults most of the women in the room and in Morocco.
She's paranoid that the designer didn't write her name down on the photo of the dress she wants so she stalks him and makes sure even though he only speaks French.
Once he starts measuring Ramona she makes sure to tell him that she wants to show cleavage. You know who I feel bad for? Avery...her daughter.
When someone decides that a log needs to be put in the fire, Ramona suggests that the designer do it. Then she and Sonja say "We need one of those ding-dings"...um...a bell? Imagine if you worked at this place and Ramona and Sonja had a BELL to call for you when they needed you to do something?
DING DING DING "I need an extra pillow!"
DING DING DING "Pinio Grigio, NOW!"
DING DING DING "I just pooped, can you wipe my butt? I'm not used to having to do all of these things myself."
Party time. Brad supposedly hates Sonja but he gives her a kiss on the cheek and tells her how great she looks.
LuMann points out the buffet but she says it like Phoebe Buffet (Boo-fay).
Ramona is texting on her pink phone waiting for her Pinot. I'm surprised she didn't bring her own box full of Ramona kind to try sell to everyone and then drink it all.
A guy is about to make out with a rattlesnake.
Afterwards when it is slithering on the floor it has a big line of drool coming out of its mouth. Sonja wonders if it is venom or semen. How are these women going to last this whole vacation with Ramona and Sonja?
The ladies all sit with a psychic and she tells them that Ramona's husband has "another woman.
Apparently all of the good stuff we saw in the commercials happen in the next few episodes because tonight was pretty uneventful. But it sounds like this episode set the scene for Ramona/Sonja hijinks.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
The Real Housewives of NYC (from 5/12)
The STAR Ramona is up first tonight. She's doing a photo shoot so she can put photos of herself on her product a la Alexis from Real Housewives of OC. She's stiff and bug-eyed but did we expect anything else?
This was actually one of the shots taken:
Jill is visiting Cindy. Cindy has a ton of nannies, assistants, etc. One of the twins starts crying and woooppp hand her to a nanny.
Cindy says how it is crazy and she can't sleep because she hears the babies cry in the night...and the nannies wake up with them. Cindy gets to lay in her bed, I guess.
They gossip about Ramona. Apparently Cindy is the only one who will "stand up" to Ramona. Everyone else accepts her for who she is but Cindy is all set. What's wrong with everyone? Tell her to shut the fuck up? Oh wait...she's a star!!!!!!! The thing that pisses me off is that you KNOW Cindy will be inviting her to some event again. Pussies!!
Another day Kevin is the twins father and he is visiting. I didn't realize that he was the father until Cindy said it because I immediately thought he was gay. I don't have a good gaydar.
Sonja is throwing a masquerade party so she has a "costumist" over to help her out. He doesn't seem very excited about Sonja's choices and this awful wig she has.
LuMann is out looking for a costume and Jill comes by to join her. The woman that works there says that period costumes are very glamorous and sexy and Jill chimes in "That's me!" Since when? She says that the last time she was there she needed to wear a bra but now she doesn't because she's gotten a breast reduction.
LuMann and Jill might be the two most annoying people in NYC at the moment.
Sonja has friends' kids staying with her and helping her out because she's struggling a little bit with money since her divorce. Why is she throwing this lavish party? She doesn't know the meaning of struggling with money, I think.
The costumist guy fixed up the awful wig and her costume. While Sonja is in the limo on the way to the party, LuMann calls to tell her she can't make it becuase she's sick. Way to wait until the last minute Countess. Money can't buy you class.
Alex and Simon are there dressed up. Ramona walks in and I swear she can't see through her mask because she's bumping into things and Mario is holding her arm. Jill comes with "three male escorts". (Her husband and two other people). Kelly has bedazzled her face and Cindy looks like Barbarella.
Jill was expecting a giant lavish party of 200 people and is quite snobby when she realizes that there are like 15 people in what almost looks like a church basement. Jill, Miss Passive Agressive says to Sonja how honered she was to be invited when she only invited 30 people.
Ummm...this is Sonja's ass. She's bending over everywhere and suddenly realizes "Whoops, I forgot half of my costume!" I mean, no one in the limo told her that they could see her vag?
Jill goes with Cindy to a cosmetic dentist. Jill thinks that Cindy should get something done to bring attention away from her teeth since she has so many. Don't we all have the same amount of teeth?? Well, unless you lost one in a fight, a hockey game or you're a redneck.
Cindy is so lucky to have Jill with her because Jill and her family are like doctors...without the degree or license. Run...run away fast Cindy.
Ramona is standing around a bunch of her Pinot Grigio bottles. Her friend that got married in one of the earlier episodes arrives. She tells Ramona that during her wedding reception, someone told her that Jill wanted to congratulate her so she (the bride) went to see her. Immediately Jill grills her and asked "What are Alex and Simon doing here?!" She also asked why she's friends with Ramona. Way to make the day about the bride and groom, bitch!
Someone needs to take Jill on a long car ride into the countryside and just let her out.
LuMann is grilling Ramona about how the wine is made because now that LuMann is going out with Jacques she's automatically a wine conossieuor. LuMann also says "Pinot Greegio"...using the "g" sound instead of the "j" sound.
Ramona, Miss Ill-Timed-Confrontation-Woman pulls Jill aside to confront her about what the bride (Jennifer) told her just a little while ago. Of course, Jill blames it on someone else who is not part of the show and they beep out the name.
Jill wants Jennifer to join in the conversation because she claims none of it is true. They start yelling at each other. Jill is angry that Ramona attacked her and Ramona says that she didn't attack her and that she was just trying to have a conversation with her. Yeah...that's it.
Jill runs outside and talks to Jennifer about it. She still doesn't want to admit that she did anything wrong but goes back inside to tell Ramona that she worked it out. Ramona is not having it. "If you have a problem with me you tell me to my face!" so Jill invites her to lunch.
Is that the rich people term for "You wanna step outside?"
Ramona looks like a loon and she and Jill just start saying "You need to...." "You need to...." and then Ramona walks away.
Ramona is inside hysterically talking to Jennifer, the Bride. Ramona REALLY needs to get her bangs trimmed.
I also think Ramona should quit drinking and maybe pop some sedatives.
Jill is in a car outside crying to LuMann. LuMann doesn't make it any better and says that Ramona's never been her friend. Jill hands her the little koala she bought at the airport that she meant to give to Ramona and tells LuMann to give it to her. That will show her who's boss...a tacky gift. BURN!
This was actually one of the shots taken:
Jill is visiting Cindy. Cindy has a ton of nannies, assistants, etc. One of the twins starts crying and woooppp hand her to a nanny.
Cindy says how it is crazy and she can't sleep because she hears the babies cry in the night...and the nannies wake up with them. Cindy gets to lay in her bed, I guess.
They gossip about Ramona. Apparently Cindy is the only one who will "stand up" to Ramona. Everyone else accepts her for who she is but Cindy is all set. What's wrong with everyone? Tell her to shut the fuck up? Oh wait...she's a star!!!!!!! The thing that pisses me off is that you KNOW Cindy will be inviting her to some event again. Pussies!!
Another day Kevin is the twins father and he is visiting. I didn't realize that he was the father until Cindy said it because I immediately thought he was gay. I don't have a good gaydar.
Sonja is throwing a masquerade party so she has a "costumist" over to help her out. He doesn't seem very excited about Sonja's choices and this awful wig she has.
LuMann is out looking for a costume and Jill comes by to join her. The woman that works there says that period costumes are very glamorous and sexy and Jill chimes in "That's me!" Since when? She says that the last time she was there she needed to wear a bra but now she doesn't because she's gotten a breast reduction.
LuMann and Jill might be the two most annoying people in NYC at the moment.
Sonja has friends' kids staying with her and helping her out because she's struggling a little bit with money since her divorce. Why is she throwing this lavish party? She doesn't know the meaning of struggling with money, I think.
The costumist guy fixed up the awful wig and her costume. While Sonja is in the limo on the way to the party, LuMann calls to tell her she can't make it becuase she's sick. Way to wait until the last minute Countess. Money can't buy you class.
Alex and Simon are there dressed up. Ramona walks in and I swear she can't see through her mask because she's bumping into things and Mario is holding her arm. Jill comes with "three male escorts". (Her husband and two other people). Kelly has bedazzled her face and Cindy looks like Barbarella.
Jill was expecting a giant lavish party of 200 people and is quite snobby when she realizes that there are like 15 people in what almost looks like a church basement. Jill, Miss Passive Agressive says to Sonja how honered she was to be invited when she only invited 30 people.
Ummm...this is Sonja's ass. She's bending over everywhere and suddenly realizes "Whoops, I forgot half of my costume!" I mean, no one in the limo told her that they could see her vag?
Jill goes with Cindy to a cosmetic dentist. Jill thinks that Cindy should get something done to bring attention away from her teeth since she has so many. Don't we all have the same amount of teeth?? Well, unless you lost one in a fight, a hockey game or you're a redneck.
Cindy is so lucky to have Jill with her because Jill and her family are like doctors...without the degree or license. Run...run away fast Cindy.
Ramona is standing around a bunch of her Pinot Grigio bottles. Her friend that got married in one of the earlier episodes arrives. She tells Ramona that during her wedding reception, someone told her that Jill wanted to congratulate her so she (the bride) went to see her. Immediately Jill grills her and asked "What are Alex and Simon doing here?!" She also asked why she's friends with Ramona. Way to make the day about the bride and groom, bitch!
Someone needs to take Jill on a long car ride into the countryside and just let her out.
LuMann is grilling Ramona about how the wine is made because now that LuMann is going out with Jacques she's automatically a wine conossieuor. LuMann also says "Pinot Greegio"...using the "g" sound instead of the "j" sound.
Ramona, Miss Ill-Timed-Confrontation-Woman pulls Jill aside to confront her about what the bride (Jennifer) told her just a little while ago. Of course, Jill blames it on someone else who is not part of the show and they beep out the name.
Jill wants Jennifer to join in the conversation because she claims none of it is true. They start yelling at each other. Jill is angry that Ramona attacked her and Ramona says that she didn't attack her and that she was just trying to have a conversation with her. Yeah...that's it.
Jill runs outside and talks to Jennifer about it. She still doesn't want to admit that she did anything wrong but goes back inside to tell Ramona that she worked it out. Ramona is not having it. "If you have a problem with me you tell me to my face!" so Jill invites her to lunch.
Is that the rich people term for "You wanna step outside?"
Ramona looks like a loon and she and Jill just start saying "You need to...." "You need to...." and then Ramona walks away.
Ramona is inside hysterically talking to Jennifer, the Bride. Ramona REALLY needs to get her bangs trimmed.
I also think Ramona should quit drinking and maybe pop some sedatives.
Jill is in a car outside crying to LuMann. LuMann doesn't make it any better and says that Ramona's never been her friend. Jill hands her the little koala she bought at the airport that she meant to give to Ramona and tells LuMann to give it to her. That will show her who's boss...a tacky gift. BURN!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
The Real Housewives of NYC (from 4/21)
LuMann and Kelly go get manicures/pedicures together and the Countess is wearing a hideous vest and awful necklace.
Kelly is laughing WAY too much - there is no way that LuMann is that funny. Maybe she's laughing at her furry vest. No that can't be because Kelly dresses terribly as well.
Kelly wants a boyfriend/husband. Someone may have to be quite sedated to be interested. We'll see.
Alex and Sonja go out to lunch to discuss their issues they had last week. Sonja has a giant winter hat on. Am I that out of touch that this stuff looks good and I think it just looks crazy?
It seems like everyone on the Real Housewives go out to eat with their enemies and people with whom they have just had a big argument. Anyway, Alex keeps talking, talking, talking and Sonja is just eating in her giant hat. Alex is getting hives and Sonja is chewing.
Sonja says she was afraid that Simon was going to pop up from behind Alex at her art show. You can see Alex imagining a knife going into Sonja's chest.
Cindy and Kelly go out to eat and Cindy is all upset when she walks in. She's shaking. She had to fire one of the nannies. Oh my goodness. Come to find out - she didn't even do it, she had her brother fire her. I think Cindy's lacking on the storylines. She isn't crazy enough.
Kelly is having a hard time typing out an email on her phone to Ramona that she can't attend some event. Then they watch each other bite into lettuce. This is the most boring dinner in NYC.
Ramona and Sonja go to David Meister's place - he is a designer who Ramona will be modeling in a runway show. We are reminded about her scary eyes from the last show.
Ramona tells Sonja about Kelly's well thought out email and tells us that her response was "Kelly, if you can't support me, don't expect me to support you." Ugh.
LuMann is out with her boyfriend Jacques about this "Wine Connection" event for singles. I guess it is like speed dating but at each table they try a different wine. I imagine this ending in some vomit.
Sonja, Kelly and Cindy are the singles who attend. Kelly doesn't drink wine so she's hunched over asking her first "date" why they swirl the wine around. Sonja is talking about how much makeup she wears (or doesn't wear) as her "date" stares at her cleavage. The best thing about Sonja is that she acknowledges his gaze instead of ignoring it or getting angry. Cindy's first "date" is 23 years old and he agrees with her that she could've given birth to him.
When the 23 year old has Kelly as a date he tells her that he attends Juilliard and she assumes he's a dancer. No...he's an actor, he tells her. She then asks what instrument he plays. He says that he's an actor. She then tells him a scenario to act out - tell her that he has cancer and to ask her to marry him. It is quite awkward.
Cindy is with the boob man now and asking if he likes kids. But I'm pretty sure he is one.
Although I see no bikes around, Alex's son is wearing a bike helmet as he walks around. Talk about overprotective.
It's Alex's birthday party on Governor's Island and everyone is freezing. After Simon toasts Alex, their son jumps up and knocks her champagne glass right onto his head.
Alex thinks it is the most wonderful birthday party ever...but it looks boring and cold.
It is time for the fashion show and Ramona is practicing so as to not bug her eyes out on the runway again. Backstage no one knows when Ramona is supposed to go out. When she does, her eyes weren't as big as last year but she still looks like a weirdo.
LuMann and Sonja go to Cindy's spa and they close it down just for them. Kelly comes late of course. LuMann is apalled to be talking about hair removal. I think she's worried that they are going to find her penis.
Alex is at a photo shoot. This is what she looks like pre-makeup/hair. I think Kelly is right - being a model doesn't necessarily mean that you're pretty.
She's quite scary even after the makeup.
There's another event. All these people do is have events and go to lunch. This one is about women in business and Ramona was asked to be a guest speaker.
I think my favorite NYC Housewife is Sonja. How cute is she?
Oh no...Alex shows up and she kept her hair and makeup from the photo shoot. What is she doing? I'm so embarrassed. I think she just did this so that she could say "I literally just came from a shoot." She is in the biz now so she can call it a "shoot" and not a photo shoot.
There are about 8,000 glasses at the table. I think someone is going to play music with them.
During Ramona's speech, Sonja just keeps talking and nodding. I think all of those glasses may be hers.
Next week Kelly falls off a horse. I can't wait!!!
Kelly is laughing WAY too much - there is no way that LuMann is that funny. Maybe she's laughing at her furry vest. No that can't be because Kelly dresses terribly as well.
Kelly wants a boyfriend/husband. Someone may have to be quite sedated to be interested. We'll see.
Alex and Sonja go out to lunch to discuss their issues they had last week. Sonja has a giant winter hat on. Am I that out of touch that this stuff looks good and I think it just looks crazy?
It seems like everyone on the Real Housewives go out to eat with their enemies and people with whom they have just had a big argument. Anyway, Alex keeps talking, talking, talking and Sonja is just eating in her giant hat. Alex is getting hives and Sonja is chewing.
Sonja says she was afraid that Simon was going to pop up from behind Alex at her art show. You can see Alex imagining a knife going into Sonja's chest.
Cindy and Kelly go out to eat and Cindy is all upset when she walks in. She's shaking. She had to fire one of the nannies. Oh my goodness. Come to find out - she didn't even do it, she had her brother fire her. I think Cindy's lacking on the storylines. She isn't crazy enough.
Kelly is having a hard time typing out an email on her phone to Ramona that she can't attend some event. Then they watch each other bite into lettuce. This is the most boring dinner in NYC.
Ramona and Sonja go to David Meister's place - he is a designer who Ramona will be modeling in a runway show. We are reminded about her scary eyes from the last show.
Ramona tells Sonja about Kelly's well thought out email and tells us that her response was "Kelly, if you can't support me, don't expect me to support you." Ugh.
LuMann is out with her boyfriend Jacques about this "Wine Connection" event for singles. I guess it is like speed dating but at each table they try a different wine. I imagine this ending in some vomit.
Sonja, Kelly and Cindy are the singles who attend. Kelly doesn't drink wine so she's hunched over asking her first "date" why they swirl the wine around. Sonja is talking about how much makeup she wears (or doesn't wear) as her "date" stares at her cleavage. The best thing about Sonja is that she acknowledges his gaze instead of ignoring it or getting angry. Cindy's first "date" is 23 years old and he agrees with her that she could've given birth to him.
When the 23 year old has Kelly as a date he tells her that he attends Juilliard and she assumes he's a dancer. No...he's an actor, he tells her. She then asks what instrument he plays. He says that he's an actor. She then tells him a scenario to act out - tell her that he has cancer and to ask her to marry him. It is quite awkward.
Cindy is with the boob man now and asking if he likes kids. But I'm pretty sure he is one.
Although I see no bikes around, Alex's son is wearing a bike helmet as he walks around. Talk about overprotective.
It's Alex's birthday party on Governor's Island and everyone is freezing. After Simon toasts Alex, their son jumps up and knocks her champagne glass right onto his head.
Alex thinks it is the most wonderful birthday party ever...but it looks boring and cold.
It is time for the fashion show and Ramona is practicing so as to not bug her eyes out on the runway again. Backstage no one knows when Ramona is supposed to go out. When she does, her eyes weren't as big as last year but she still looks like a weirdo.
LuMann and Sonja go to Cindy's spa and they close it down just for them. Kelly comes late of course. LuMann is apalled to be talking about hair removal. I think she's worried that they are going to find her penis.
Alex is at a photo shoot. This is what she looks like pre-makeup/hair. I think Kelly is right - being a model doesn't necessarily mean that you're pretty.
She's quite scary even after the makeup.
There's another event. All these people do is have events and go to lunch. This one is about women in business and Ramona was asked to be a guest speaker.
I think my favorite NYC Housewife is Sonja. How cute is she?
Oh no...Alex shows up and she kept her hair and makeup from the photo shoot. What is she doing? I'm so embarrassed. I think she just did this so that she could say "I literally just came from a shoot." She is in the biz now so she can call it a "shoot" and not a photo shoot.
There are about 8,000 glasses at the table. I think someone is going to play music with them.
During Ramona's speech, Sonja just keeps talking and nodding. I think all of those glasses may be hers.
Next week Kelly falls off a horse. I can't wait!!!
Friday, April 8, 2011
The Real Housewives of NYC Season Premiere (from 4/7)
YEAH! NYC is back! This is my favorite of all of the franchises. This is where we got Bethenny from, crazy Kelly Kiloren-Bensimon, bug-eyed Ramona, the man-voiced Countess LuAnn (I'd rather listen to Tardy for the Party than LuAnn's song Money Can't Buy You Class), strange Alex and Simon, the oh-so-annoying-and-needy Jill Zarin and even last season's new edition of Sonja was great.
Ramona is hosting a party tonight. She is serving "Ramona" wine. I don't want to know what that tastes like. Alex and Simon are there.
Jill shows up to make everyone feel uncomfortable and Alex starts chugging wine. She is excusing herself but before she does she announces that she and Simon are on a committee for a march for gay marriage and that the women should wear wedding dresses. I don't understand what happens here but everyone is laughing and Alex looks like she's being boxed out and she's annoyed. Whatever.
Jill is planning to go to Austrailia and Kelly is at her house wearing spandex. Like shiny black spandex pants.
Apparently Jill is a "real friend" to Kelly now. Jill needed someone when Bethenny smartened up.
Of course they sit and gossip about Ramona, Alex and Bethenny.
Simon is wearing pink shoes. He and Alex are working together from home now because Simon has left the hotel business to start a media company.
Alex is now a model! That is out of left field. It seems to have gone to her head a bit because she's talking about how lucky she got with the gene pool because her parents were good looking.
Cindy is the new NYC housewife. She owns "Completely Bare", a hair removal company. She didn't have a husband so she did IVF to have babies and ended up with twins. She's co-hosting an art show/auction/charity event that all the housewives are attending tonight.
Kelly steps out of a town car with LuAnn and her legs look especially manly. Alex and Simon show up - Alex in a turquoise dress and Simon in a blad jacket, red shirt, black leather pants with a red stripe down them.
The artist is taking photos of Jill, Ramona and Sonja and isn't asking Alex to be in the photo with them. She starts chugging champagne again and I think in her head she's saying "I'm the model here!!!"
The guests have to take their shoes off and dip them in paint to make the art. Gross.
Cindy's twins are at the event with their nannies. Jill starts gossiping to Kelly about Cindy and how she wants her doctor's number because she's got to be in her mid to late 40s (looks great after having twins) and she assumes there is no daddy. Of course when Cindy comes up to them and Jill asks her personal questions about if there is a baby daddy and if she carried the twins herself.
Everyone's feet are disgusting with paint and pieces of paper towel stuck to them.
So far I'm 30 minutes in and I'm bored. However, most of the premieres for the RH are this way...they need to ease into the drama.
Ramona is interviewing people to get a second assistant. I'm uncomfortable for every single applicant.
One is nervous because it is her first interview out of college. Ramona tells her that her outfit and her look is all wrong. Then she tells her that she is going to give her some of her skincare stuff because it looks like she could use some help with her skin.
Shut the fuck up Ramona you did NOT just say that. This poor girl.
The Man LuAnn is out to dinner with her boyfriend Jacques, Sonja and Sonja's friend Brian. Everyone seems to be ignoring Jacques or maybe they just can't understand him with his accent. He seems nice enough.
Ramona, Mario, Alex and Simon are at Ramona's house in The Hamptons. Ramona is pissed that Alex is taking so long putting on makeup for breakfast. I told you - this modeling thing has gone to Alex's head.
The four of them and Jill and Bobby are going to a wedding in The Hamptons. Ramona didn't tell Jill that Alex was also attending.
The gay marriage march is the next day and Jill used the excuse that she was going to a wedding out of town as the reason she couldn't march. Drama.
Jill is shocked that Alex and Simon are there. Alex thinks she's a movie star and is wearing giant sunglasses and is making Jill feel uncomfortable because when Jill said that she was going to an "out of town wedding" she assumed she meant Florida, not The Hamptons. Basically telling her that staying in the Hamptons for the weekend is no excuse for not gay marching.
Alex and Ramona are both wearing white - I thought that was a major faux pas but what do I know?
After the ceremony Ramona is gossiping to Mario, Alex and Simon. I don't really understand the story - something about some dead guy's cigars in someone's mouth? Anyway, the guy she's talking has a ister who ends up RIGHT behind her and hears the whole thing. Hilarious.
Jill spends the time at the reception bitching about Alex and actually calls her a "fucking bitch" and that she's here socializing at a party that is "so above her". What a snob!?
HOLY SHIT! I was right. Jill's friend says that "traditionally it's improper to wear cream and white to a wedding." I know stuff.
Alex and Ramona go and sit with Jill and her friends and Alex confronts her about the fact that she knew she was coming to this wedding but pretended not to? Something like that. These women have nothing else to fight about because this is just stupid.
Alex is really driving me nuts.
During this last commercial break I am seeing the preview for Watch What Happens Live (which I did not DVR) and I'm seriously frightened at what Jill looks like. What. The. Fuck.
Scenes for the season look great...Kelly's crazy is back, Alex is loving herself, Jill is fighting with everyone and Ramona is inappropriate. Just like old times!
Ramona is hosting a party tonight. She is serving "Ramona" wine. I don't want to know what that tastes like. Alex and Simon are there.
Jill shows up to make everyone feel uncomfortable and Alex starts chugging wine. She is excusing herself but before she does she announces that she and Simon are on a committee for a march for gay marriage and that the women should wear wedding dresses. I don't understand what happens here but everyone is laughing and Alex looks like she's being boxed out and she's annoyed. Whatever.
Jill is planning to go to Austrailia and Kelly is at her house wearing spandex. Like shiny black spandex pants.
Apparently Jill is a "real friend" to Kelly now. Jill needed someone when Bethenny smartened up.
Of course they sit and gossip about Ramona, Alex and Bethenny.
Simon is wearing pink shoes. He and Alex are working together from home now because Simon has left the hotel business to start a media company.
Alex is now a model! That is out of left field. It seems to have gone to her head a bit because she's talking about how lucky she got with the gene pool because her parents were good looking.
Cindy is the new NYC housewife. She owns "Completely Bare", a hair removal company. She didn't have a husband so she did IVF to have babies and ended up with twins. She's co-hosting an art show/auction/charity event that all the housewives are attending tonight.
Kelly steps out of a town car with LuAnn and her legs look especially manly. Alex and Simon show up - Alex in a turquoise dress and Simon in a blad jacket, red shirt, black leather pants with a red stripe down them.
The artist is taking photos of Jill, Ramona and Sonja and isn't asking Alex to be in the photo with them. She starts chugging champagne again and I think in her head she's saying "I'm the model here!!!"
The guests have to take their shoes off and dip them in paint to make the art. Gross.
Cindy's twins are at the event with their nannies. Jill starts gossiping to Kelly about Cindy and how she wants her doctor's number because she's got to be in her mid to late 40s (looks great after having twins) and she assumes there is no daddy. Of course when Cindy comes up to them and Jill asks her personal questions about if there is a baby daddy and if she carried the twins herself.
Everyone's feet are disgusting with paint and pieces of paper towel stuck to them.
So far I'm 30 minutes in and I'm bored. However, most of the premieres for the RH are this way...they need to ease into the drama.
Ramona is interviewing people to get a second assistant. I'm uncomfortable for every single applicant.
One is nervous because it is her first interview out of college. Ramona tells her that her outfit and her look is all wrong. Then she tells her that she is going to give her some of her skincare stuff because it looks like she could use some help with her skin.
Shut the fuck up Ramona you did NOT just say that. This poor girl.
The Man LuAnn is out to dinner with her boyfriend Jacques, Sonja and Sonja's friend Brian. Everyone seems to be ignoring Jacques or maybe they just can't understand him with his accent. He seems nice enough.
Ramona, Mario, Alex and Simon are at Ramona's house in The Hamptons. Ramona is pissed that Alex is taking so long putting on makeup for breakfast. I told you - this modeling thing has gone to Alex's head.
The four of them and Jill and Bobby are going to a wedding in The Hamptons. Ramona didn't tell Jill that Alex was also attending.
The gay marriage march is the next day and Jill used the excuse that she was going to a wedding out of town as the reason she couldn't march. Drama.
Jill is shocked that Alex and Simon are there. Alex thinks she's a movie star and is wearing giant sunglasses and is making Jill feel uncomfortable because when Jill said that she was going to an "out of town wedding" she assumed she meant Florida, not The Hamptons. Basically telling her that staying in the Hamptons for the weekend is no excuse for not gay marching.
Alex and Ramona are both wearing white - I thought that was a major faux pas but what do I know?
After the ceremony Ramona is gossiping to Mario, Alex and Simon. I don't really understand the story - something about some dead guy's cigars in someone's mouth? Anyway, the guy she's talking has a ister who ends up RIGHT behind her and hears the whole thing. Hilarious.
Jill spends the time at the reception bitching about Alex and actually calls her a "fucking bitch" and that she's here socializing at a party that is "so above her". What a snob!?
HOLY SHIT! I was right. Jill's friend says that "traditionally it's improper to wear cream and white to a wedding." I know stuff.
Alex and Ramona go and sit with Jill and her friends and Alex confronts her about the fact that she knew she was coming to this wedding but pretended not to? Something like that. These women have nothing else to fight about because this is just stupid.
Alex is really driving me nuts.
During this last commercial break I am seeing the preview for Watch What Happens Live (which I did not DVR) and I'm seriously frightened at what Jill looks like. What. The. Fuck.
Scenes for the season look great...Kelly's crazy is back, Alex is loving herself, Jill is fighting with everyone and Ramona is inappropriate. Just like old times!
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