So - if you watch the Bad Girls Club and enjoy reading my recaps - you've noticed that I am behind by two episodes...and a new one will be on Monday night.
I just haven't been able to bring myself to watch them anymore. I can pretty much guess what is going to happen in each episode:
Jessica will use the word "wang" or "wanging" about 76 times.
Kori will talk about her boobs out of the side of her mouth.
Wilmarie will look ugly and fight.
Nikki will call people "replacements" and walk like a man.
Char will continue to believe that she's actually mature.
Lauren will continue to put her hair in a side ponytail/braid and put lipstick all around her mouth instead of just on her lips.
If anyone sees an actual exciting event that I should watch...let me know. Otherwise...poo poo on this season!
Showing posts with label bad girls club. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad girls club. Show all posts
Monday, May 2, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
COMING SOON
Sorry - I've had a lot going on this week so I'm a little behind.
Upcoming recaps: They will be done in this order
The Real Housewives of New York City from 4/21
The Real Housewives of OC from 4/24
Upcoming recaps: They will be done in this order
The Real Housewives of New York City from 4/21
The Bad Girls Club from 4/18
Mob Wives from 4/24
Bethenny Ever After from 4/25
The Bad Girls Club from 4/25
16 & Pregnant from 4/26
Pregnant in Heels from 4/26
Survivor: Redemption Island from 4/27
The Real Housewives of NYC from 4/28
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Bad Girls Club (from 4/11)
This show is becoming quite difficult to recap. The girls are more annoying than ANY other season in the past. But...I'm not giving up yet.
We ended last episode with Ugly Wilmarie and Nikki fighting in the limo so this is where the episode begins. Blurred out crotch shots of Nikki, Wilmarie trying to bite. Gross, I would NOT want to be bitten by Wilmarie.
Lauren does the "clap talking" even when she's not yelling. She's clapping with each of these words while she talks to Nikki "If you need my help..." It's like she's trying to count how many words she's saying...can't go over the limit.
Nikki gets sent to the hotel for the night to "cool off". She calls her dad in the morning and thinks that none of the girls are on Wilmarie's side and that Lauren will never turn on her. Sounds like Oxygen put this conversation on the show to show how wrong she is later on.
The girls go for a hollywood bus ride and Jessica screams BAD GIRLS CLUB from the top of the bus and flashes everyone. They are going on a Mexican bar crawl.
Upon returning to the house the girls find out that they are going on a trip to Mexico. Prior to the trip Nikki and Lauren seem to be disagreeing. We know where this is going.
Smarty pants Char is explaining the hotel they are staying at and she says "It's white. It's Christine." Ummm...no, fucking idiot. She means "pristine." I hate her.
At dinner, Nikki is trying to have a conversation with Char about the first time they met. Char ignores her. She doesn't know when Nikki decided it was okay to speak to her.
Nikki and Lauren leave before dessert to go out drinking.
Char and Wilmarie go out dancing at a club that makes me almost have a seizure. Every guy that is dancing with Wilmarie is gay. I think they might think she's a man.
Jessica and Kori head to Senor Frogs (where Nikki and Lauren are) to get wasted. Kori lets some random guy lick whipped cream off her boobies. Again, her mom must be so proud.
Nikki runs into a friend of hers and is just talking talking talking talking...Lauren can't get a word in. As much as Lauren annoys the shit out of me, I am SUPER annoyed with Nikki right now too.
Lauren goes to the hotel early. She and Kori hang out on a trampoline at the beach. The beginning of the end of Nikki and Lauren's BFFness.
The next morning Nikki and Char are both sleeping in so the rest of the girls are hanging out on the beach. When Nikki and Char finally get up the rest of them head back to the hotel to get ready. Nikki keeps trying to have a conversation with Char. They say that Kori and Lauren are both followers.
Now suddenly Char and Nikki respect each other. Ugh. Char goes up to the room and Nikki follows a little while later. She thinks she's being funny by having a guy wheel her in on a cart saying "room service". She needs to learn about what comedy means.
Kori thinks she can read people because she is a licensed massage therapist. ????
In the van on the way to dinner and the club Nikki is sitting in the way back and she's mumbling about everyone - calling people followers, who is young, who is old, boring, etc. Then she spits water on Lauren's back.
Nikki is trying to poke Lauren in the face with one of those long balloons that people form into animals. She is seriously the most annoying person. She leaves and goes outside by herself so of course everyone talks about her while she's gone. I love how they all say that they don't hide how they feel and they tell people what they think to their face but I really haven't seen any of that in this episode.
When Nikki heads back into the club, the girls are dancing and she's kind of on the outskirts and below them a bit and looks like an idiot because she's still dancing.
Back at the hotel Nikki walks way behind the rest of the pack like a lost little duckling.
Finally Lauren confronts Nikki the next day out at the pool. Of course Nikki covers her face up with a big sombrero. It was a lame argument and Oxygen decides to play clips of their "friendship" as if we're sad about this separation.
The girls are back at home and Nikki goes out alone. She makes out with some random guy and she comes home super drunk.
She walks into the house yelling "replacement" at Wilmarie. She then throws Wilmarie's bedding over the inside balcony into the lobby. Wilmarie keeps telling Nikki to punch her. She slaps her instead. Then Wilamarie grabs her hair and starts fighting with her. This is where my DVD cut off but I'm sure they don't show the rest of the fight, they always do this.
I don't know how many episodes are left this season but I hope not too many more. These girls are getting on my LAST nerve.
We ended last episode with Ugly Wilmarie and Nikki fighting in the limo so this is where the episode begins. Blurred out crotch shots of Nikki, Wilmarie trying to bite. Gross, I would NOT want to be bitten by Wilmarie.
Lauren does the "clap talking" even when she's not yelling. She's clapping with each of these words while she talks to Nikki "If you need my help..." It's like she's trying to count how many words she's saying...can't go over the limit.
Nikki gets sent to the hotel for the night to "cool off". She calls her dad in the morning and thinks that none of the girls are on Wilmarie's side and that Lauren will never turn on her. Sounds like Oxygen put this conversation on the show to show how wrong she is later on.
The girls go for a hollywood bus ride and Jessica screams BAD GIRLS CLUB from the top of the bus and flashes everyone. They are going on a Mexican bar crawl.
Upon returning to the house the girls find out that they are going on a trip to Mexico. Prior to the trip Nikki and Lauren seem to be disagreeing. We know where this is going.
Smarty pants Char is explaining the hotel they are staying at and she says "It's white. It's Christine." Ummm...no, fucking idiot. She means "pristine." I hate her.
At dinner, Nikki is trying to have a conversation with Char about the first time they met. Char ignores her. She doesn't know when Nikki decided it was okay to speak to her.
Nikki and Lauren leave before dessert to go out drinking.
Char and Wilmarie go out dancing at a club that makes me almost have a seizure. Every guy that is dancing with Wilmarie is gay. I think they might think she's a man.
Jessica and Kori head to Senor Frogs (where Nikki and Lauren are) to get wasted. Kori lets some random guy lick whipped cream off her boobies. Again, her mom must be so proud.
Nikki runs into a friend of hers and is just talking talking talking talking...Lauren can't get a word in. As much as Lauren annoys the shit out of me, I am SUPER annoyed with Nikki right now too.
Lauren goes to the hotel early. She and Kori hang out on a trampoline at the beach. The beginning of the end of Nikki and Lauren's BFFness.
The next morning Nikki and Char are both sleeping in so the rest of the girls are hanging out on the beach. When Nikki and Char finally get up the rest of them head back to the hotel to get ready. Nikki keeps trying to have a conversation with Char. They say that Kori and Lauren are both followers.
Now suddenly Char and Nikki respect each other. Ugh. Char goes up to the room and Nikki follows a little while later. She thinks she's being funny by having a guy wheel her in on a cart saying "room service". She needs to learn about what comedy means.
Kori thinks she can read people because she is a licensed massage therapist. ????
In the van on the way to dinner and the club Nikki is sitting in the way back and she's mumbling about everyone - calling people followers, who is young, who is old, boring, etc. Then she spits water on Lauren's back.
Nikki is trying to poke Lauren in the face with one of those long balloons that people form into animals. She is seriously the most annoying person. She leaves and goes outside by herself so of course everyone talks about her while she's gone. I love how they all say that they don't hide how they feel and they tell people what they think to their face but I really haven't seen any of that in this episode.
When Nikki heads back into the club, the girls are dancing and she's kind of on the outskirts and below them a bit and looks like an idiot because she's still dancing.
Back at the hotel Nikki walks way behind the rest of the pack like a lost little duckling.
Finally Lauren confronts Nikki the next day out at the pool. Of course Nikki covers her face up with a big sombrero. It was a lame argument and Oxygen decides to play clips of their "friendship" as if we're sad about this separation.
The girls are back at home and Nikki goes out alone. She makes out with some random guy and she comes home super drunk.
She walks into the house yelling "replacement" at Wilmarie. She then throws Wilmarie's bedding over the inside balcony into the lobby. Wilmarie keeps telling Nikki to punch her. She slaps her instead. Then Wilamarie grabs her hair and starts fighting with her. This is where my DVD cut off but I'm sure they don't show the rest of the fight, they always do this.
I don't know how many episodes are left this season but I hope not too many more. These girls are getting on my LAST nerve.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Bad Girls Club (from 3/28)
Nikki announces that they are playing dodgeball. Char brags that she was good at dodgeball in elementary school. Great resume.
The walk into the gym where they are playing and it looks brutal but at least they aren't playing other people. Nikki, Wilmarie and Lauren lose almost immediately and during the rematch the exact opposite happens. The third game Char, Jessica and Kori win.
What was the point in this?
On the ride home Lauren is talking about what she likes in guys and they get extra extra extra points of they wear girl jeans. Um...ew!!!
Wilmarie, Lauren and Nikki are going out together to a place called La Vida. Nikki wants to find a "guido". It is so annoying. Using Jersey Shore lingo when you are not joking or making fun of them is not cool.
Wilmarie is fighting with Nikki and Lauren because she wants to dance. Nikki calls her a replacement which is the equivalent to the devil at the Bad Girls Club.
At home, Char suggests they play charades. When she says "one syllable", Jessica says that she doesn't even know what the word syllable. Holy shit.
She also says that she didn't know that North Carolina wasn't a part of California. Holy shit.
Char doesn't know what an adverb is and Kori suggests that a noun is what describes the verb. Holy shit.
In the sentence "Jessica ran across the street" Jessica thinks that the noun is "ran". Holy shit.
Wilmarie goes home early and cries to the other girls. When Lauren and Nikki get home Nikki argues with Wilmarie about the replacement comment. She's only been here four days and she mentions that the originals have been there for 8 weeks. I would DIE if I had to live with these slobby nasty annoying bitches for 8 weeks.
The next day Lauren and Nikki head out together and Lauren's wearing another romper/jumper thing.
The other four go out together. Some random guy comes to their area and they pull his pants down. Then Kori gives him a lap dance, lifts up her shirt and puts his face between her boobs. I bet her mother is super proud.
At the house Nikki is taking apart Wilmarie's bed because that is obviously just as bad as being called a replacement. They then put the extra mattress in between Nikki and Lauren's beds. Wilmarie is moving into the "jinxed" room where all other occupants have gone home.
Kori talks to a friend on the phone and they both say "oh my gawd" and "yaaah" and "totally".
Nikki and Lauren go to a club to look for their next STD. Nikki wants to hook up with the valet guy because he does the Jersey Shore fist pumping thing where they start on the ground and go up in the air. I'm not from Jersey - but I would really like to believe that the stupid fist pumping from the ground up was kind of a Jersey Shore cast thing...not everyone in Jersey.
And you know what? Even if it was a Jersey thing - everyone should STOP doing that because they look fucking stupid for trying to be like a Jersey Shore cast member. Nikki calling guys guidos and her "snooki poof"?
L-O-S-E-R. That's a noun.
Char, Kori and Jessica go bowling. They all suck but I don't know how they are bowling with black lights everywhere and disco ball strobes. Char spills Jessica's drink and she's pissed but not for long.
Some large women come over to the girls and start yelling at them for being on the Bad Girls Club and that they are ho's. Char, Kori and Jessica get kicked out because of it.
Nikki makes a date with the valet parking guy and she calls him on the phone and invites him to go to a place called "Boho". She has to repeat the word "Boho" about 12 times so either there is some joke that I don't get or the guy was not listening or is just weird.
They go out to dinner and then meet up at a club later. She's yelling "You are SO Jersey bro!!!" Ugh. Someone needs to tape her mouth (and her legs) shut.
The other four girls have a feeling that Nikki wants to start something tonight. Ugly Wilmarie is going to take care of it.
They all get picked up in the limo so this is where the fight will happen. Nikki starts being really annoying with Jessica and Wilmarie is trying to tell her to stop. Now Wilmarie and Nikki are arguing and Nikki throws the "replacement" word at her again.
I understand that she's not one of the originals - but that isn't HER fault. It isn't like she signed up to be a replacement when someone left. It is a WEIRD insult.
I realize tonight that I HATE Nikki. She turns around and smacks Wilmarie and they start fighting. Of course, the episode ends so we don't see what happens after that.
In two weeks they go to Mexico and everyone is changing. Lauren's sick of Nikki so she's hanging out with Kori. Nikki's hanging out with Char. However, Nikki and Wilmarie still fight and the word replacement is still being used. PUKE.
This show needs to be DONE! How many episodes left?
Previous Bad Girls Club Recaps - click the episode to be linked to old recaps
The walk into the gym where they are playing and it looks brutal but at least they aren't playing other people. Nikki, Wilmarie and Lauren lose almost immediately and during the rematch the exact opposite happens. The third game Char, Jessica and Kori win.
What was the point in this?
On the ride home Lauren is talking about what she likes in guys and they get extra extra extra points of they wear girl jeans. Um...ew!!!
Wilmarie, Lauren and Nikki are going out together to a place called La Vida. Nikki wants to find a "guido". It is so annoying. Using Jersey Shore lingo when you are not joking or making fun of them is not cool.
Wilmarie is fighting with Nikki and Lauren because she wants to dance. Nikki calls her a replacement which is the equivalent to the devil at the Bad Girls Club.
At home, Char suggests they play charades. When she says "one syllable", Jessica says that she doesn't even know what the word syllable. Holy shit.
She also says that she didn't know that North Carolina wasn't a part of California. Holy shit.
Char doesn't know what an adverb is and Kori suggests that a noun is what describes the verb. Holy shit.
In the sentence "Jessica ran across the street" Jessica thinks that the noun is "ran". Holy shit.
Wilmarie goes home early and cries to the other girls. When Lauren and Nikki get home Nikki argues with Wilmarie about the replacement comment. She's only been here four days and she mentions that the originals have been there for 8 weeks. I would DIE if I had to live with these slobby nasty annoying bitches for 8 weeks.
The next day Lauren and Nikki head out together and Lauren's wearing another romper/jumper thing.
The other four go out together. Some random guy comes to their area and they pull his pants down. Then Kori gives him a lap dance, lifts up her shirt and puts his face between her boobs. I bet her mother is super proud.
At the house Nikki is taking apart Wilmarie's bed because that is obviously just as bad as being called a replacement. They then put the extra mattress in between Nikki and Lauren's beds. Wilmarie is moving into the "jinxed" room where all other occupants have gone home.
Kori talks to a friend on the phone and they both say "oh my gawd" and "yaaah" and "totally".
Nikki and Lauren go to a club to look for their next STD. Nikki wants to hook up with the valet guy because he does the Jersey Shore fist pumping thing where they start on the ground and go up in the air. I'm not from Jersey - but I would really like to believe that the stupid fist pumping from the ground up was kind of a Jersey Shore cast thing...not everyone in Jersey.
And you know what? Even if it was a Jersey thing - everyone should STOP doing that because they look fucking stupid for trying to be like a Jersey Shore cast member. Nikki calling guys guidos and her "snooki poof"?
L-O-S-E-R. That's a noun.
Char, Kori and Jessica go bowling. They all suck but I don't know how they are bowling with black lights everywhere and disco ball strobes. Char spills Jessica's drink and she's pissed but not for long.
Some large women come over to the girls and start yelling at them for being on the Bad Girls Club and that they are ho's. Char, Kori and Jessica get kicked out because of it.
Nikki makes a date with the valet parking guy and she calls him on the phone and invites him to go to a place called "Boho". She has to repeat the word "Boho" about 12 times so either there is some joke that I don't get or the guy was not listening or is just weird.
They go out to dinner and then meet up at a club later. She's yelling "You are SO Jersey bro!!!" Ugh. Someone needs to tape her mouth (and her legs) shut.
The other four girls have a feeling that Nikki wants to start something tonight. Ugly Wilmarie is going to take care of it.
They all get picked up in the limo so this is where the fight will happen. Nikki starts being really annoying with Jessica and Wilmarie is trying to tell her to stop. Now Wilmarie and Nikki are arguing and Nikki throws the "replacement" word at her again.
I understand that she's not one of the originals - but that isn't HER fault. It isn't like she signed up to be a replacement when someone left. It is a WEIRD insult.
I realize tonight that I HATE Nikki. She turns around and smacks Wilmarie and they start fighting. Of course, the episode ends so we don't see what happens after that.
In two weeks they go to Mexico and everyone is changing. Lauren's sick of Nikki so she's hanging out with Kori. Nikki's hanging out with Char. However, Nikki and Wilmarie still fight and the word replacement is still being used. PUKE.
This show needs to be DONE! How many episodes left?
Previous Bad Girls Club Recaps - click the episode to be linked to old recaps
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Bad Girls Club: Wanging in a Slophouse (from 3/21)
Sorry I'm so late with this recap but it is the least popular of all of the shows I recap so I figured it could wait.
I forgot how gross Wilmarie is. I feel like she's walking around in pee soaked shorts and hairy calves.
When they show the girls walking around the house - it is such a mess. How can anyone live like that? Pick up your shit!!!
Jessica's mom calls and Lauren answers the phone. Since Jessica isn't there Lauren asks if she could take a message. Jessica's mom (who sounds like she's a teenager) first wants to know who it is that she's talking to and isn't nice about it. Lauren ends up hanging up on her and I don't blame her.
Char finds out that there is some video online of her and people are making fun of her on the website.
Here is the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-50Vntuc21Y Nothing too exciting except she looks like an idiot and might have a smelly vagina.
Nikki, Lauren and Wilmarie pull the couch outside and watch everyone else leave the house. I don't really get it but I think it was supposed to be some kind of intimidation tactic.
Jenn, Kori, Char and Jessica go out to eat and I'm more annoyed with Jenn's voice than ever. How can anyone be near her?
The girls get home and throw water bottles from the car at the house (apparently aiming at the three girls who are still sitting on the couch outside).
Nikki says something to Jess like "I can't hear you, I don't speak hood rat." Awwwww snap. Nikki keeps saying something in Spanish and luckily Oxygen types it out for us on the screen.
Ya Tu Sabes
Spanish Slang
1. "You already know."
2. "Ya'll know how I do."
I still don't understand what any of that means.
The next day Jenn uses a plunger to rub the dry erase marker off of Wilmarie's picture. Since Wilmarie isn't there to see this, I don't know how it is an insult. In fact, Jenn is probably getting toilet poopie water on her hands from having to lift the plunger up in the air. She's only hurting herself.
Now she's hurting me by making this face:
Nikki's plan to get Jenn out of the house is apparently staring at her.
Kori, Jessica and Char go to a tattoo parlor so Kori can get her giant tramp stamp touched up. The camera does an unfortunate close up of Kori's face.
Back at the house, Nikki, Lauren and Wilmarie decide to gang up on Jenn who is alone. They block her from going up the stairs and walk really close to her. The camera does an unfortunate close up of Lauren's ass in a bright blue romper while picking her wedge.
The girls are telling Jenn that they are going to pack up her things. Jenn in her wailing nasal voice says "I'm not trash, I'm not trash. I was raised with class sweetie." Sure. I believe you. You're from Jersey.
Loud obnoxious yelling. Wilmarie basically dry humping Jenn and then Nikki pushing Jenn. The three bullies are packing all of Jenn's things and taking them down to the bottom of the driveway. Jenn packs up the rest of her things Angelina-style in trash bags and leaves. Not before Oxygen gives us a montage of her annoying voice.
Jessica thinks that Jenn is being weak by leaving without punching anyone because she thinks Italians are supposed to stand up for themselves.
Jessica found out about Lauren hanging up on her mother so she asks Lauren about it while less than a half inch from her face. I can smell the halitosis.
Char is going out on a date with Eric, a guy from the tattoo parlor. She talks and talks and talks and talks and throws in the middle "I don't like Hitler."
This is their first date and she asks "Do you believe in marriage?" His answer is "Mmm...I'd get married but I don't believe in it." He doesn't trust women. At least he spoke a few words during the dinner.
Nikki is drunk and confronts Jessica about how she walked Jenn to the car and said she was her friend but then when she left, she drew all over Jenn's photo on the wall.
Jessica keeps using the word "wang" to mean "punch" or "fight" I think. Kori used this word too, last week. Where I come from wang is either a part of a name in an Asian restaurant or a penis.
Nikki starts a verbal fight with Jessica but on their way upstairs to get in this "wang" Lauren is yelling at the top of her lungs so Jessica confronts her first. Jessica pushes Lauren first and then they start fighting. Oh wait, wanging. Jessica throws Lauren down by her hair and starts punching her while she's down.
A crew member pulls Jessica away and Nikki comes over and punches Jessica in the face while she's being held back. WEAK!
Nikki goes downstairs and basically apologizes to Jessica. Lauren overhears it and is crying about it.
The next night everyone heads out to a place called The Parlor. Nikki and Jessica are looking like BFFs.
There is a live band playing and Char thinks one of the member is cute. He and his twin brother come to the girls' table and give their phone numbers. Back at the house Lauren found the piece of paper with the number on it and she hides it. Suddenly Wilmarie seems to be BFFs with Char and is trying to help her find it.
Looks like Wilmarie's turning to Char's side next week and for some reason they are playing dodgeball.
I forgot how gross Wilmarie is. I feel like she's walking around in pee soaked shorts and hairy calves.
When they show the girls walking around the house - it is such a mess. How can anyone live like that? Pick up your shit!!!
Jessica's mom calls and Lauren answers the phone. Since Jessica isn't there Lauren asks if she could take a message. Jessica's mom (who sounds like she's a teenager) first wants to know who it is that she's talking to and isn't nice about it. Lauren ends up hanging up on her and I don't blame her.
Char finds out that there is some video online of her and people are making fun of her on the website.
Here is the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-50Vntuc21Y Nothing too exciting except she looks like an idiot and might have a smelly vagina.
Nikki, Lauren and Wilmarie pull the couch outside and watch everyone else leave the house. I don't really get it but I think it was supposed to be some kind of intimidation tactic.
Jenn, Kori, Char and Jessica go out to eat and I'm more annoyed with Jenn's voice than ever. How can anyone be near her?
The girls get home and throw water bottles from the car at the house (apparently aiming at the three girls who are still sitting on the couch outside).
Nikki says something to Jess like "I can't hear you, I don't speak hood rat." Awwwww snap. Nikki keeps saying something in Spanish and luckily Oxygen types it out for us on the screen.
Ya Tu Sabes
Spanish Slang
1. "You already know."
2. "Ya'll know how I do."
I still don't understand what any of that means.
The next day Jenn uses a plunger to rub the dry erase marker off of Wilmarie's picture. Since Wilmarie isn't there to see this, I don't know how it is an insult. In fact, Jenn is probably getting toilet poopie water on her hands from having to lift the plunger up in the air. She's only hurting herself.
Now she's hurting me by making this face:
Nikki's plan to get Jenn out of the house is apparently staring at her.
Kori, Jessica and Char go to a tattoo parlor so Kori can get her giant tramp stamp touched up. The camera does an unfortunate close up of Kori's face.
Back at the house, Nikki, Lauren and Wilmarie decide to gang up on Jenn who is alone. They block her from going up the stairs and walk really close to her. The camera does an unfortunate close up of Lauren's ass in a bright blue romper while picking her wedge.
The girls are telling Jenn that they are going to pack up her things. Jenn in her wailing nasal voice says "I'm not trash, I'm not trash. I was raised with class sweetie." Sure. I believe you. You're from Jersey.
Loud obnoxious yelling. Wilmarie basically dry humping Jenn and then Nikki pushing Jenn. The three bullies are packing all of Jenn's things and taking them down to the bottom of the driveway. Jenn packs up the rest of her things Angelina-style in trash bags and leaves. Not before Oxygen gives us a montage of her annoying voice.
Jessica thinks that Jenn is being weak by leaving without punching anyone because she thinks Italians are supposed to stand up for themselves.
Jessica found out about Lauren hanging up on her mother so she asks Lauren about it while less than a half inch from her face. I can smell the halitosis.
Char is going out on a date with Eric, a guy from the tattoo parlor. She talks and talks and talks and talks and throws in the middle "I don't like Hitler."
This is their first date and she asks "Do you believe in marriage?" His answer is "Mmm...I'd get married but I don't believe in it." He doesn't trust women. At least he spoke a few words during the dinner.
Nikki is drunk and confronts Jessica about how she walked Jenn to the car and said she was her friend but then when she left, she drew all over Jenn's photo on the wall.
Jessica keeps using the word "wang" to mean "punch" or "fight" I think. Kori used this word too, last week. Where I come from wang is either a part of a name in an Asian restaurant or a penis.
Nikki starts a verbal fight with Jessica but on their way upstairs to get in this "wang" Lauren is yelling at the top of her lungs so Jessica confronts her first. Jessica pushes Lauren first and then they start fighting. Oh wait, wanging. Jessica throws Lauren down by her hair and starts punching her while she's down.
A crew member pulls Jessica away and Nikki comes over and punches Jessica in the face while she's being held back. WEAK!
Nikki goes downstairs and basically apologizes to Jessica. Lauren overhears it and is crying about it.
The next night everyone heads out to a place called The Parlor. Nikki and Jessica are looking like BFFs.
There is a live band playing and Char thinks one of the member is cute. He and his twin brother come to the girls' table and give their phone numbers. Back at the house Lauren found the piece of paper with the number on it and she hides it. Suddenly Wilmarie seems to be BFFs with Char and is trying to help her find it.
Looks like Wilmarie's turning to Char's side next week and for some reason they are playing dodgeball.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Bad Girls Club: Classin' It Up (from 3/14)
I wonder if there is going to be some maturity, quiet ladies and awesome makeup in this episode?
Kori says that if Ashley walks back into the Bad Girls house she's going to "pretty much wang her". Wang? Like Everybody Wang Chung tonight?
No wanging is going to happen though because Ashley is going home.
Jessica is picking up her brother Aaron at the airport. He is married so why is he visiting his sister at the Bad Girls Club? Jessica shows him around the house, including the bathroom and the "bombay". Yeah, that's a bidet.
Orange Jenn is on the phone with her boyfriend saying that her biggest pet peeve is when people talk about people behind their back...as she's talking about people behind their back. Her boyfriend is not really listening and says he has to go so that he can go eat some Subway.
The girls and Aaron, "minus the dweebs" (Mature Char's words...who says dweeb??) are going out to dinner to a nice restaurant. Aaron's wearing a classy t-shirt for the occasion that says something like "No one can take a Mexican". Jenn is in a puffy dress and she swears and argues with everyone at the table. I really hope this isn't actually a nice restaurant.
Either the Bad Girls house has some super fast handymen or Oxygen fucked up on the editing. When Jenn was on the phone with her boyfriend earlier, they focused in on the broken door handles to the phone room that someone attempted to use packing tape to fix. However, tonight Nicki is on the phone and when she closes the doors for privacy the handles are intact and no tape in sight.
Everyone goes out for the night...puffy dress, married classy shirt guy, Lauren Lips, the whole gang! There are some scrubby Chippendales there for some reason - Fauxpendales? GenericChippens? Whatever...some are missing teeth and others have some belly rolls. Lauren licks alcohol off of one of their chests and I imagine it tasted like sweat and cologne.
When dancing, Jenn starts making the "oooah? oooah?" sound (you know...like that squawk people make when they are raising the roof?) But she sounds like a pelican that has been harmed in some way.
Aaron is wasted and flirting with the girls. He also can barely walk. Back at the house he walks around in some tighty blue-ies and white sandals. He jumps into bed with Kori. Then in the middle of the night he gets up, takes his underwear off and lays on the floor. The next morning Kori said that he peed in Jessica's bed.
SHUT THE FUCK UP! He's an adult, a married man and gets so drunk while on TV that he pees in his sister's bed and then sleeps naked on the floor. I'm so mortified for his wife. I hope they don't have kids.
The next night or a couple nights later the girls take a limo to go out. The limo driver stops on the way to the bar and they are picking up the new roommate. Her name is Wilmarie, she's not good looking and she's wearing a hideous dress. Hideous. She also doesn't know how to disguse her cankles by wearing certain shoes.
Of course, no one is welcoming. She tells Jenn that where she's from in New Jersey is about 20 minutes away from where Jenn is from. Luckily Oxygen shows us a map to explain. Jenn says she lives in North Jersey and that South Jersey is dirty. However, on the map Wilmare is right, its about 20 minutes away from her...far from "south" Jersey.
At the bar Jenn suddenly looks like she has had a stroke and she's talking out of only one side of her mouth.
Nicki just said "haterade", did one of the armpit fart things with her hand and the new girl tells Lauren to remind her to pee because she WILL piss herself. Oooah! Oooah!
Back at the house we have a better view of Wilmarie's dress and it is even more hideous than I first thought.
While pouring four shots for the new girl, Char announces to her that she farted. On the way up the stairs Char tells her that she's glad that she's 27 like her and hopes she's not immature. Maybe she thinks that not admitting when you fart is immature?
Willy and Jenn are fighting and Jenn is calling her a replacement even though Jenn herself just replaced someone two weeks ago. Willy's dress is so damn ugly I can't get past it.
Jenn is one of those people who thinks that the louder she is, the tougher she is. She also says how she's got class. Anyone who has to tell people that they are classy is NOT classy. That's like how you know they aren't...when they say it.
Willy threatens to throw Jenn in the dumpster and Jenn's response is "Oh with my fuckin' Gucci and everything?" and Willy says it is fake. But wait, Jenn is classy...its real Gucci. We know this because she tells the other girls that she's classy and has real Gucci. Sure Jenn...and that isn't a Member's Only jacket you're wearing in the narrative interviews.
Willy takes off her underwear and pees in the bed. How is it that no one can control their bladder?
Jessica talks to her mother and she tells her that Aaron's wife isn't living at home anymore. GOOD! Who wants to be married to a man that goes on the Bad Girls Club and wets the bed? In the hot tub later Jessica tells the other girls that she hasn't been able to set foot in her brother's house for three years - apparently his wife didn't allow it.
The next day Nicki and Willy are at the Pink Taco discussing the fact that Jenn is their target to get out of the house. When they come back we see that Willy is wearing ugly ass skin tight pants. WTF? She has a plastic bag that says "Fucci" on it and she's talking with a valley girl voice in the confessional. This makes no sense since she and Jenn are both from Jersey and have Jersey accents.
Nicki thinks she's insulting Jenn by calling her "weak sauce". How old is she again?
Willy and her ugly pants are drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. Gross.
Nicki, Willy and Lauren hang up pieces of paper that say WEAK on it all over the house. Oh snap, burn!!
Kori says that if Ashley walks back into the Bad Girls house she's going to "pretty much wang her". Wang? Like Everybody Wang Chung tonight?
No wanging is going to happen though because Ashley is going home.
Jessica is picking up her brother Aaron at the airport. He is married so why is he visiting his sister at the Bad Girls Club? Jessica shows him around the house, including the bathroom and the "bombay". Yeah, that's a bidet.
Orange Jenn is on the phone with her boyfriend saying that her biggest pet peeve is when people talk about people behind their back...as she's talking about people behind their back. Her boyfriend is not really listening and says he has to go so that he can go eat some Subway.
The girls and Aaron, "minus the dweebs" (Mature Char's words...who says dweeb??) are going out to dinner to a nice restaurant. Aaron's wearing a classy t-shirt for the occasion that says something like "No one can take a Mexican". Jenn is in a puffy dress and she swears and argues with everyone at the table. I really hope this isn't actually a nice restaurant.
Either the Bad Girls house has some super fast handymen or Oxygen fucked up on the editing. When Jenn was on the phone with her boyfriend earlier, they focused in on the broken door handles to the phone room that someone attempted to use packing tape to fix. However, tonight Nicki is on the phone and when she closes the doors for privacy the handles are intact and no tape in sight.
Everyone goes out for the night...puffy dress, married classy shirt guy, Lauren Lips, the whole gang! There are some scrubby Chippendales there for some reason - Fauxpendales? GenericChippens? Whatever...some are missing teeth and others have some belly rolls. Lauren licks alcohol off of one of their chests and I imagine it tasted like sweat and cologne.
When dancing, Jenn starts making the "oooah? oooah?" sound (you know...like that squawk people make when they are raising the roof?) But she sounds like a pelican that has been harmed in some way.
Aaron is wasted and flirting with the girls. He also can barely walk. Back at the house he walks around in some tighty blue-ies and white sandals. He jumps into bed with Kori. Then in the middle of the night he gets up, takes his underwear off and lays on the floor. The next morning Kori said that he peed in Jessica's bed.
SHUT THE FUCK UP! He's an adult, a married man and gets so drunk while on TV that he pees in his sister's bed and then sleeps naked on the floor. I'm so mortified for his wife. I hope they don't have kids.
The next night or a couple nights later the girls take a limo to go out. The limo driver stops on the way to the bar and they are picking up the new roommate. Her name is Wilmarie, she's not good looking and she's wearing a hideous dress. Hideous. She also doesn't know how to disguse her cankles by wearing certain shoes.
Of course, no one is welcoming. She tells Jenn that where she's from in New Jersey is about 20 minutes away from where Jenn is from. Luckily Oxygen shows us a map to explain. Jenn says she lives in North Jersey and that South Jersey is dirty. However, on the map Wilmare is right, its about 20 minutes away from her...far from "south" Jersey.
At the bar Jenn suddenly looks like she has had a stroke and she's talking out of only one side of her mouth.
Nicki just said "haterade", did one of the armpit fart things with her hand and the new girl tells Lauren to remind her to pee because she WILL piss herself. Oooah! Oooah!
Back at the house we have a better view of Wilmarie's dress and it is even more hideous than I first thought.
While pouring four shots for the new girl, Char announces to her that she farted. On the way up the stairs Char tells her that she's glad that she's 27 like her and hopes she's not immature. Maybe she thinks that not admitting when you fart is immature?
Willy and Jenn are fighting and Jenn is calling her a replacement even though Jenn herself just replaced someone two weeks ago. Willy's dress is so damn ugly I can't get past it.
Jenn is one of those people who thinks that the louder she is, the tougher she is. She also says how she's got class. Anyone who has to tell people that they are classy is NOT classy. That's like how you know they aren't...when they say it.
Willy threatens to throw Jenn in the dumpster and Jenn's response is "Oh with my fuckin' Gucci and everything?" and Willy says it is fake. But wait, Jenn is classy...its real Gucci. We know this because she tells the other girls that she's classy and has real Gucci. Sure Jenn...and that isn't a Member's Only jacket you're wearing in the narrative interviews.
Willy takes off her underwear and pees in the bed. How is it that no one can control their bladder?
Jessica talks to her mother and she tells her that Aaron's wife isn't living at home anymore. GOOD! Who wants to be married to a man that goes on the Bad Girls Club and wets the bed? In the hot tub later Jessica tells the other girls that she hasn't been able to set foot in her brother's house for three years - apparently his wife didn't allow it.
The next day Nicki and Willy are at the Pink Taco discussing the fact that Jenn is their target to get out of the house. When they come back we see that Willy is wearing ugly ass skin tight pants. WTF? She has a plastic bag that says "Fucci" on it and she's talking with a valley girl voice in the confessional. This makes no sense since she and Jenn are both from Jersey and have Jersey accents.
Nicki thinks she's insulting Jenn by calling her "weak sauce". How old is she again?
Willy and her ugly pants are drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. Gross.
Nicki, Willy and Lauren hang up pieces of paper that say WEAK on it all over the house. Oh snap, burn!!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
The Bad Girls Club (from 3/7)
The name of this episode is "Beat Down Barbie". YEAH!!!
Jenn doesn't look as orange today. She calls her boyfriend and he says that he saw a video of her with two guys. Gross. She's looking up videos on porn sites to verify that she's not online. Gross.
For some reason the Bad Girls are going on Love Line with Dr. Drew Pinsky. I thought that was a show in the 90s but I guess it is still going. I can't imagine taking advice from any of these girls unless it is a course on how to be annoying.
Kori is talking to Nicki and Lauren Lips and being nice to them. Char pulls her aside and tells her not to do that. Of course Kori explains herself. Char is so ridiculously annoying and without question the most immature person ever on this show. It is strange that suddenly Kori is very friendly with Nicki and Lauren but since they aren't in the 7th grade they shouldn't care.
Why do people say "I could care less"? They need to stop and think about it.
Nicki and Lauren go out to meet up with Nicki's "boy toy" Smitty. Lauren is wearing shorts that are SO short that I think she's actually going to get arrested for prostitution. She looks ridiculous. Nicki is going to have sex again. She's nasty. She brags to the camera about how slutty she is. I can practically smell her dirty vagina through the TV. Ew.
Ashley is having a fit because Kori used her credit card to pay for everyone's fast food in the drive thru...probably a total of $8.59. She handed it to her...did she think Kori was going to have the drive thru guy do separate checks?
Jessica and Jenn are talking about how everyone comes to the Bad Girls Club to fix something about themselves. Ummm...no. I believe they do it to live for free, drink their asses off, not work, get laid, fight and become famous.
Jenn calls her boyfriend again and it sounds like they might have broken up. If I were a dude there is no way in HELL my girlfriend would be going on the Bad Girls Club.
The girls split off into three groups to go out for the night. Jenn and Jessica go to a Hooka bar. Char, Kori and Ashley go to one bar and Nicki and Lauren go to another. Char decides that she thinks a guy (who has a girlfriend) is cute and when he talks to Kori, Kori tells him that his breath stinks and he needs a mint. He gets upset and says "You ruined it, SLUT!"
He comes up to Kori and Ashley a little while later and says that it was a "wrong move". Suddenly the guy's girlfriend throws a drink on Kori. She loves fighting and screaming. My head hurts. In the limo on the way home Kori argues with Ashley and Char. I want to hit the mute button.
At home Char calls her friend to talk about how she can't help it that people want to follow her, that everyone wants to be around her and she's the life of the party. She thinks that everyone in the house says her name at least 500 times a day and there are 6 of them. "So that's about 1,100 or 11,000." I laughed out loud at that one. She's delusional AND dumb!
Kori and Ashley are arguing some more and Kori does the clapping move before she pushes Ashley who flies all the way across the room and into the wall. She comes flying back but Jessica blocks it. Char thinks that they are fighting over her.
Ashley punches Kori hard in the face and they start fighting. I actually rewound it three times to see it. Lots of hair pulling and hard punches. Why can't someone punch Char like that?
This may be the most violent fight I've ever seen on the BGC. Lots of guys from the crew break it up and it takes a little while because they are holding each other's hair. They replay the fight a few times and I can't believe how many times each of them hits the other in the face. Ashley has a black eye! I love it.
This fight made the whole episode better!
Jenn doesn't look as orange today. She calls her boyfriend and he says that he saw a video of her with two guys. Gross. She's looking up videos on porn sites to verify that she's not online. Gross.
For some reason the Bad Girls are going on Love Line with Dr. Drew Pinsky. I thought that was a show in the 90s but I guess it is still going. I can't imagine taking advice from any of these girls unless it is a course on how to be annoying.
Kori is talking to Nicki and Lauren Lips and being nice to them. Char pulls her aside and tells her not to do that. Of course Kori explains herself. Char is so ridiculously annoying and without question the most immature person ever on this show. It is strange that suddenly Kori is very friendly with Nicki and Lauren but since they aren't in the 7th grade they shouldn't care.
Why do people say "I could care less"? They need to stop and think about it.
Nicki and Lauren go out to meet up with Nicki's "boy toy" Smitty. Lauren is wearing shorts that are SO short that I think she's actually going to get arrested for prostitution. She looks ridiculous. Nicki is going to have sex again. She's nasty. She brags to the camera about how slutty she is. I can practically smell her dirty vagina through the TV. Ew.
Ashley is having a fit because Kori used her credit card to pay for everyone's fast food in the drive thru...probably a total of $8.59. She handed it to her...did she think Kori was going to have the drive thru guy do separate checks?
Jessica and Jenn are talking about how everyone comes to the Bad Girls Club to fix something about themselves. Ummm...no. I believe they do it to live for free, drink their asses off, not work, get laid, fight and become famous.
Jenn calls her boyfriend again and it sounds like they might have broken up. If I were a dude there is no way in HELL my girlfriend would be going on the Bad Girls Club.
The girls split off into three groups to go out for the night. Jenn and Jessica go to a Hooka bar. Char, Kori and Ashley go to one bar and Nicki and Lauren go to another. Char decides that she thinks a guy (who has a girlfriend) is cute and when he talks to Kori, Kori tells him that his breath stinks and he needs a mint. He gets upset and says "You ruined it, SLUT!"
He comes up to Kori and Ashley a little while later and says that it was a "wrong move". Suddenly the guy's girlfriend throws a drink on Kori. She loves fighting and screaming. My head hurts. In the limo on the way home Kori argues with Ashley and Char. I want to hit the mute button.
At home Char calls her friend to talk about how she can't help it that people want to follow her, that everyone wants to be around her and she's the life of the party. She thinks that everyone in the house says her name at least 500 times a day and there are 6 of them. "So that's about 1,100 or 11,000." I laughed out loud at that one. She's delusional AND dumb!
Kori and Ashley are arguing some more and Kori does the clapping move before she pushes Ashley who flies all the way across the room and into the wall. She comes flying back but Jessica blocks it. Char thinks that they are fighting over her.
Ashley punches Kori hard in the face and they start fighting. I actually rewound it three times to see it. Lots of hair pulling and hard punches. Why can't someone punch Char like that?
This may be the most violent fight I've ever seen on the BGC. Lots of guys from the crew break it up and it takes a little while because they are holding each other's hair. They replay the fight a few times and I can't believe how many times each of them hits the other in the face. Ashley has a black eye! I love it.
This fight made the whole episode better!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Bad Girls Club: Get a Dictionary (from 2/21)
Please don't let Char talk about being mature this week. I can't handle it. I would also wish that Lauren Lips to stop putting her hair in that ugly side braid but she's already on the screen with her side braid.
A new roommate is coming - Jennifer from Jersey. She does NOT look cute. In the confessional room her nose looks dark brown and the rest of her skin is somewhat orange.
Oh my god I'm so distracted by her orange skin. Her name is Tangerine from now on.
Anyway - Mature Full Grown Char has already explained to the new girl that Nikki and Lauren Lips are basically losers. I'm so glad she's grown up this week.
Nikki has a guy friend come to visit and he looks a little like Ashley. He definitely looks more girly than Nikki does.
Tangerine is explaining that she is obsessed with Playboy, she sleeps on silk sheets, she auditioned, was half naked at the Playboy mansion and basically just admitted she has some kind of STD because she has been in the Grotto.
Getting ready to go out we actually get to see Lauren Lips applying her lip stick/gloss all the way around her mouth. Why does she think she only has one giant lip. YOU HAVE TWO SEPARATE LIPS!
Tangerine has a dress on that actually should be a shirt because I can see her underwear. She meets up with a Playboy producer so now the girls are in the VIP section with a bunch of ugly Playmates. Ashley and Tangerine start making out with the ugly girls. Whatever happened to having good looking Playmates? Hef must be losing his eyesight.
In the limo on the way home, Char is representing her mature self by yelling and clapping at the same time. She continues yelling and clapping in the house and somehow Jessica gets involved and it looks like she punches Lauren Lips in the head. Char is by far the most childish of them all.
Kori shows the girls her modeling/Playboy photos. Someone says "They are so classy!" while looking at a shot of Kori in a red bra and underwear with her legs spread wide open. Where did these people learn what the words "mature" and "classy" mean?
Because someone lied to them.
Nikki and Lips head out to the bar with the red Jeep. They plan to leave it downtown and take a cab home. So the next morning Nikki and Lips take the black jeep downtown so the rest of the girls are left with no vehicles.
The Playboy guy calls the house to invite Ashley, Kori and Tangerine to do some test shots for Playboy. Char is jealous. Tangerine calls her boyfriend and tells him she's going to do an interview at Playboy...yeah, I'm pretty sure they don't give a shit what you say, Tangerine. And when they see your orange skin, they probably won't care how you look either.
Ok wait, they ARE interviewing them before they take their clothes off. I stand corrected. Ashley is clearly the best looking one and it looks like when they girls leave, the producers think the same thing. Tangerine and Kori are going to be pissed.
Back at the house Lips is instigating Char and she throws some kind if liquid at her. Char does nothing except say "Rotate". I think she's missing part of that insult, right? I mean, telling someone to rotate isn't really a "bad girl" thing. She's essentially telling them "Turn around!" That's not scary, Char.
Nikki and Lips are hanging out in the phone room. Char comes in to make a phone call and Lips hangs up the phone so Char is screaming about an inch from Lips' lips. She then throws an empty can directly at her head.
Lips' retaliation is to throw Char's mattress out the window. She must be on steroids because she does it all by herself. Char comes to yell at her and says not to touch her as she's pointing her finger in Lips' face and ends up smacking her in the forehead. Now they are sort of fighting with each other. I never know when the line is crossed on this show.
Char is crying and feels so wonderful about herself because she didn't fight back. For a reward, Tangerine and Jessica carry the mattress upstairs for her.
Char is happy to be going out with the "mature girls in the house" which includes the three that just auditioned for Playboy. Seriously, someone needs to get them a dictionary.
Tangerine is getting wasted in her shit-brown Member's Only jacket. Back at the house she is acting insane. I think she's now auditioning for a mental institution. She's got that in the bag!
She has taken off her top and is walking around in a bathing suit bottom and knee socks. She punches Nikki's light up picture (all the girls have one on the wall) and says she's happy she punched the picture so she doesn't have to stare at Nikki's picture all the time. Well, just avert your eyes, idiot. Why are you staring at a picture of Nikki all the time?
Char is in the kitchen with Jessica and says she has self control but she will use Tangerine as a pawn.
Tangerine is still screaming topless.
This episode was junk. This season has pretty much been junk. Thank goodness for Jersey Shore & Teen Mom.
A new roommate is coming - Jennifer from Jersey. She does NOT look cute. In the confessional room her nose looks dark brown and the rest of her skin is somewhat orange.
Oh my god I'm so distracted by her orange skin. Her name is Tangerine from now on.
Anyway - Mature Full Grown Char has already explained to the new girl that Nikki and Lauren Lips are basically losers. I'm so glad she's grown up this week.
Nikki has a guy friend come to visit and he looks a little like Ashley. He definitely looks more girly than Nikki does.
Tangerine is explaining that she is obsessed with Playboy, she sleeps on silk sheets, she auditioned, was half naked at the Playboy mansion and basically just admitted she has some kind of STD because she has been in the Grotto.
Getting ready to go out we actually get to see Lauren Lips applying her lip stick/gloss all the way around her mouth. Why does she think she only has one giant lip. YOU HAVE TWO SEPARATE LIPS!
Tangerine has a dress on that actually should be a shirt because I can see her underwear. She meets up with a Playboy producer so now the girls are in the VIP section with a bunch of ugly Playmates. Ashley and Tangerine start making out with the ugly girls. Whatever happened to having good looking Playmates? Hef must be losing his eyesight.
In the limo on the way home, Char is representing her mature self by yelling and clapping at the same time. She continues yelling and clapping in the house and somehow Jessica gets involved and it looks like she punches Lauren Lips in the head. Char is by far the most childish of them all.
Kori shows the girls her modeling/Playboy photos. Someone says "They are so classy!" while looking at a shot of Kori in a red bra and underwear with her legs spread wide open. Where did these people learn what the words "mature" and "classy" mean?
Because someone lied to them.
Nikki and Lips head out to the bar with the red Jeep. They plan to leave it downtown and take a cab home. So the next morning Nikki and Lips take the black jeep downtown so the rest of the girls are left with no vehicles.
The Playboy guy calls the house to invite Ashley, Kori and Tangerine to do some test shots for Playboy. Char is jealous. Tangerine calls her boyfriend and tells him she's going to do an interview at Playboy...yeah, I'm pretty sure they don't give a shit what you say, Tangerine. And when they see your orange skin, they probably won't care how you look either.
Ok wait, they ARE interviewing them before they take their clothes off. I stand corrected. Ashley is clearly the best looking one and it looks like when they girls leave, the producers think the same thing. Tangerine and Kori are going to be pissed.
Back at the house Lips is instigating Char and she throws some kind if liquid at her. Char does nothing except say "Rotate". I think she's missing part of that insult, right? I mean, telling someone to rotate isn't really a "bad girl" thing. She's essentially telling them "Turn around!" That's not scary, Char.
Nikki and Lips are hanging out in the phone room. Char comes in to make a phone call and Lips hangs up the phone so Char is screaming about an inch from Lips' lips. She then throws an empty can directly at her head.
Lips' retaliation is to throw Char's mattress out the window. She must be on steroids because she does it all by herself. Char comes to yell at her and says not to touch her as she's pointing her finger in Lips' face and ends up smacking her in the forehead. Now they are sort of fighting with each other. I never know when the line is crossed on this show.
Char is crying and feels so wonderful about herself because she didn't fight back. For a reward, Tangerine and Jessica carry the mattress upstairs for her.
Char is happy to be going out with the "mature girls in the house" which includes the three that just auditioned for Playboy. Seriously, someone needs to get them a dictionary.
Tangerine is getting wasted in her shit-brown Member's Only jacket. Back at the house she is acting insane. I think she's now auditioning for a mental institution. She's got that in the bag!
She has taken off her top and is walking around in a bathing suit bottom and knee socks. She punches Nikki's light up picture (all the girls have one on the wall) and says she's happy she punched the picture so she doesn't have to stare at Nikki's picture all the time. Well, just avert your eyes, idiot. Why are you staring at a picture of Nikki all the time?
Char is in the kitchen with Jessica and says she has self control but she will use Tangerine as a pawn.
Tangerine is still screaming topless.
This episode was junk. This season has pretty much been junk. Thank goodness for Jersey Shore & Teen Mom.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Bad Girls Club aka “Full Grown Mature Char” (from 2/14)
I didn’t even post a recap from the last episode because it was pretty lame but I put it up so that it makes sense going to this week’s episode.
Does anyone else bob their head along with the theme song? For some reason I love it.
Char says “Words cannot describe how much I could care less about Sydney being gone.”
HELLO??? It’s “couldn’t care less”.
She’s now on the phone with her friend saying that she’s so mature – and I LOVE that Oxygen cuts in all the clips of her acting like a child. I love it.
I can’t stand looking at Nikki. Yes, it is pure shallowness but I can’t stand that she has no lashes and barely any eyebrows. It’s like they were burned off in a freak accident.
The “ladies” (using that term VERY loosely) go out to a bar to eat and drink. Char is too mature for Nikki and Lauren Lips so their burping is just upsetting her.
That night, Jessica is sick so she’s chugging some sort of medicine. She’s in the “confessional” room and saying that there are bugs all around and they are making her sweat…she jumps up on the seat. I think you took too much of that cough medicine, dear. Or maybe she just dropped some acid, I don’t know.
The skanks head out in some classy outfits. As one describes Nikki’s – it’s like a “under wear, a bra and then a dress in between.” Believe me, no one wants to see Nikki’s crotch. Even though she has no eyelashes or eyebrows, I have a feeling there’s a jungle down there.
Char is jealous that Nikki is making out with some dude at the bar so she claims the guy is “shady” and it is embarrassing.
Suddenly, Natalie Nunn from Season 4 shows up. Talk about a reality TV whore. She shows up at the club on every season of the BGC. I cannot STAND this girl. She’s the one who always says “I run LA”. Ok no one besides me and the other 25 people that watch the Bad Girls Club know who you are.
Does anyone else bob their head along with the theme song? For some reason I love it.
Char says “Words cannot describe how much I could care less about Sydney being gone.”
HELLO??? It’s “couldn’t care less”.
She’s now on the phone with her friend saying that she’s so mature – and I LOVE that Oxygen cuts in all the clips of her acting like a child. I love it.
I can’t stand looking at Nikki. Yes, it is pure shallowness but I can’t stand that she has no lashes and barely any eyebrows. It’s like they were burned off in a freak accident.
The “ladies” (using that term VERY loosely) go out to a bar to eat and drink. Char is too mature for Nikki and Lauren Lips so their burping is just upsetting her.
That night, Jessica is sick so she’s chugging some sort of medicine. She’s in the “confessional” room and saying that there are bugs all around and they are making her sweat…she jumps up on the seat. I think you took too much of that cough medicine, dear. Or maybe she just dropped some acid, I don’t know.
Char is jealous that Nikki is making out with some dude at the bar so she claims the guy is “shady” and it is embarrassing.
Suddenly, Natalie Nunn from Season 4 shows up. Talk about a reality TV whore. She shows up at the club on every season of the BGC. I cannot STAND this girl. She’s the one who always says “I run LA”. Ok no one besides me and the other 25 people that watch the Bad Girls Club know who you are.
(from http://www.zimbio.com/)
(I have to warn you – don’t Google images of Natalie Nunn because I saw what seems like a still from a sex tape and she has some ugly nipples).
Of course Lauren Lips is STARSTRUCK by Natalie. This doesn’t surprise me. Char is upset about this because she’s too cool for Natalie. I’m going to have to agree with that, actually.
Char doesn’t like people around her that do embarrassing things and she doesn’t like to be embarrassed…why the fuck did you audition for The Bad Girls Club? Next to Las Vegas Jailhouse or Cops this is the most embarrassing show to be on. Well and any VH1 reality show.
She also says she’s “too grown”. Why do people think that “grown” and “mature” are the same thing? We have a full grown dog who eats his own poop. Grown does not equal mature.
Full grown Char is walking around the house in tiny purple boy short underwear and a tank top that is pulled up so her stomach is revealed. She’s putting her fingers into an “L” on her forehead to explain that someone is a “loser”. Now all she needs is some Cheetos cheese on her fingers and she’s in Britney Spears territory.
Kori (blondie) pulls Char aside for some reason to tell her about her childhood. She was basically abducted and thrown into rehab by her parents when she was 12 because she ran away from home and was misbehaving. She wasn’t doing drugs or drinking at that time, just being “bad”. I am so distracted by the fact that she talks out of the right side of her mouth and I just keep wondering if she had a mini-stroke or something. Oh – and we find out Kori wanted to tell Char this because she’s so “mature”. Seriously.
Anyway, Nikki invites the guy she met at the bar and his friends over. Char, viewing their entrance from the balcony upstairs says that the roommates “have men spending the night that don’t get up and go to work in the morning. I’m grown, like, I don’t want a man that does not have a job.” Ugh, enough with the grown!
Nikki changes from her mini dress and climbs into bed very asexually with a sports bra and what looks like boxer briefs. She claims (to the camera during interview time) that Char needs to pick up her game because she’s taken home more guys and gotten more numbers.
If picking up your game means picking up some herpes, I’m not sure people want to follow your lead Manly-no-eyebrows-Nikki. But damn, go to Victoria’s Secret if you’re going to have sexy time with strangers.
The next day full grown Char is laying on the couch, legs spread open while wearing cotton bikini underwear. She’s really showing her maturity here. At the bar later that night she sees a guy she thinks is cute, a “blasian” (black and Asian guy). Miss Maturity writes on a napkin “Do you like her, check yes or no?”
The guy has a girlfriend and her friend comes to say something to the “seventh grader” who wrote the note. Hilarious.
Back at the house, Char and Kori are making fun of Lauren Lips’ accent. Lauren pushes Char and now they are arguing by pointing their fingers into each others face. Char tells Lauren she’s “going to look like Oprah” (?????) and then throws water at her.
Somehow Lauren’s strapless dress comes down as she fights with Char and Kori. Kori just keeps throwing her body at Lauren as if her arms are stuck to her side. Lauren is actually throwing punches.
Char says she’s not a child, she’s 27 and she did that when she was 21 and 25. I guess at 22, 23 and 24 she kept her mouth shut.
I’m so sick of this mature, grown shit, especially coming from someone who is clearly the most immature in the house. The next day she’s AGAIN walking around in her underwear and making stupid comments to Lauren Lips. She goes over to the corner of the living room in her undies to workout.
When Kori walks in the room, Char says “The beluga whale has been quiet all morning, she must be sick or something!” talking about Lauren. OMG. PLEASE someone punch Char in the vagina. Please.
Bravo again to Oxygen for showing previous clips to prove the hypocrisy!!
That night at the club Natalie is there again (surprise, surprise). She introduces some singer who is wearing a black leather bathing suit, fishnets and a side ponytail.
I definitely think Char has won the honor of the most annoying “Bad Girl” ever. I’m actually embarrassed for her. She’s repeating the insults she spewed in the limo to herself in the kitchen. Most of it doesn’t even make sense.
Next week there’s a call from Playboy, a new roommate who thinks having fun means getting naked and lots of fighting between Full Grown Char and Lauren Lips.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Upcoming Recaps
The Bad Girls Club - from 2/21
Teen Mom 2 - from 2/22
The Real Housewives of Miami - Season Premiere - from 2/22
Survivor: Redemption Island - from 2/23
Jersey Shore - from 2/24
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Bad Girls Club (from 2/7)
DISCLAIMER: I never posted this one from last week because nothing happened but I’m posting it anyway just in case I recap the one from 2/14. I apologize if it isn’t funny or doesn’t make sense, I didn’t even re-read it like I normally do before posting.
We left off last week with the fight between new girl, Ashley and Lauren Lips. Ashley had Lauren by the neck.
I don’t even remember what the fight was about at this point.
Suddenly blondie has Ashley’s hair and will not let go and vice versa. I can’t imagine how much it would hurt if these girls didn’t have extensions!
People keep separating everyone but they are all running and escaping! Looks like Ashley is leaving in a van as the rest of the girls in Bad Girls Club fashion, throw all of her belongings out in the yard.
Cops came again…no one is arrested.
The next morning, Ashley’s things are in a pile in the yard and that includes a big curly black wig…if I didn’t know any better, I’d think someone was actually passed out underneath the pile of stuff. It was a little creepy.
For some reason, one mattress is lifted up against the wall and there is a towel and a bucket in the middle of the boxspring. I hope someone explains this because it makes no sense at all. Is the ceiling leaking? Did someone use that to puke and if so, why is the bucket in the middle of the boxspring and not on the floor? Is there some sort of animal sacrifice going on? Is there a human head in there? Perhaps the head that belongs to the hair in the driveway? It could be anything.
The girls go out to the bar in hopes of picking up some guys. Manly Nikki makes out with a guy and her tongue is lapping him up like a dog with his head in the toilet. Gross. Who taught her to kiss like that?
Nothing crazy happens.
The next morning, Ashley walks up – apparently she wasn’t kicked off, she just stayed in a hotel for a day.
For some reason lots of these girls when they are excusing their fighting behavior, they say “I’m from __________” fill in the blank “and we don’t put up with that” or something along those lines. I want to hear one of them say something like “I’m from Fart, Virginia and we know how to fight.”
Real city name…seriously. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1590659/top_50_cities_with_funny_names_from.html
Lauren calls Ashley “an extra” as an insult. She’s SUCH a bad girl. Next she’s going to whip out the “nitwit” or “geekburger” a la Kimmy Gibler.
Jem calls from her on location video shoot with the Holograms. She’s coming back, Ashley picks her up from the airport.
Char is upset that Jem isn’t picking sides upon her return.
Nikki and Lauren go to a tattoo parlor. Lauren gets “GTL” tattooed inside her bottom lip. We have a Jersey shore crossover! Fucking loser.
Lauren gets “fuck you” tattooed in HER bottom lip. Fucking loser.
Char – the person who has thrown clothes, cameras and other’s belongings over the balcony into the yard and the pool – claims that because she is 27, she and her friends are much more mature than the other girls. However, she is angry at Jem for writing on Ashley’s picture that she’s her “best friend”. Someone get Char a dictionary please! She does not know what the word “mature” means.
We’re now a 1/2 hour in and nothing has happened. BORING. Miami was much more exciting.
The girls get a package the next morning that says “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to San Francisco!” Since when is San Francisco a “bad girls” place? It just didn’t sound right.
Shouldn’t it have been Vegas or Miami or something?
Jessica is excited for the “safe deposit box” in the hotel room’s closet.
While preparing to go out in San Fran, Nikki uses a “bump it” in her hair so she has a poof in front like Snooki. (Jersey Shore crossover!) Char says that people are going to be like “I want to climb Mount Everest, can I climb you?”
Crickets…at least on our end. Lauren thinks this is hilarious and probably pees a little. I hope there was something cut out that was actually funny because otherwise this is just sad.
Nikki asks a guy at the bar how old he is and he says “It starts with twenty and rhymes with ‘ive’”.
Crickets.
Seriously Oxygen? This is the shit you’re giving us?
Jem is trying to pick up a guy by talking about her bisexuality. Is she 21 and is this 1999? It works because she’s making out with him despite the fact that she has a boyfriend. This is the second time she’s cheated.
Suddenly a man in a sailor suit is sitting next to Lauren, trying to get her to talk. I’m so confused.
Nikki is wasted, laying on the floor of the limo, her dress is riding up and down at the same time.
The next day the girls go sailing, complete with a “king of the world” Titanic reference. What’s next a trip to the library to sit through a reading of The Grapes of Wrath? BORING!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m seriously considering just erasing this entire recap because it is just not worth talking about. All of the girls seem miserable and annoying.
We left off last week with the fight between new girl, Ashley and Lauren Lips. Ashley had Lauren by the neck.
I don’t even remember what the fight was about at this point.
Suddenly blondie has Ashley’s hair and will not let go and vice versa. I can’t imagine how much it would hurt if these girls didn’t have extensions!
People keep separating everyone but they are all running and escaping! Looks like Ashley is leaving in a van as the rest of the girls in Bad Girls Club fashion, throw all of her belongings out in the yard.
Cops came again…no one is arrested.
The next morning, Ashley’s things are in a pile in the yard and that includes a big curly black wig…if I didn’t know any better, I’d think someone was actually passed out underneath the pile of stuff. It was a little creepy.
For some reason, one mattress is lifted up against the wall and there is a towel and a bucket in the middle of the boxspring. I hope someone explains this because it makes no sense at all. Is the ceiling leaking? Did someone use that to puke and if so, why is the bucket in the middle of the boxspring and not on the floor? Is there some sort of animal sacrifice going on? Is there a human head in there? Perhaps the head that belongs to the hair in the driveway? It could be anything.
The girls go out to the bar in hopes of picking up some guys. Manly Nikki makes out with a guy and her tongue is lapping him up like a dog with his head in the toilet. Gross. Who taught her to kiss like that?
Nothing crazy happens.
The next morning, Ashley walks up – apparently she wasn’t kicked off, she just stayed in a hotel for a day.
For some reason lots of these girls when they are excusing their fighting behavior, they say “I’m from __________” fill in the blank “and we don’t put up with that” or something along those lines. I want to hear one of them say something like “I’m from Fart, Virginia and we know how to fight.”
Real city name…seriously. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1590659/top_50_cities_with_funny_names_from.html
Lauren calls Ashley “an extra” as an insult. She’s SUCH a bad girl. Next she’s going to whip out the “nitwit” or “geekburger” a la Kimmy Gibler.
Jem calls from her on location video shoot with the Holograms. She’s coming back, Ashley picks her up from the airport.
Char is upset that Jem isn’t picking sides upon her return.
Nikki and Lauren go to a tattoo parlor. Lauren gets “GTL” tattooed inside her bottom lip. We have a Jersey shore crossover! Fucking loser.
Lauren gets “fuck you” tattooed in HER bottom lip. Fucking loser.
Char – the person who has thrown clothes, cameras and other’s belongings over the balcony into the yard and the pool – claims that because she is 27, she and her friends are much more mature than the other girls. However, she is angry at Jem for writing on Ashley’s picture that she’s her “best friend”. Someone get Char a dictionary please! She does not know what the word “mature” means.
We’re now a 1/2 hour in and nothing has happened. BORING. Miami was much more exciting.
The girls get a package the next morning that says “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to San Francisco!” Since when is San Francisco a “bad girls” place? It just didn’t sound right.
Shouldn’t it have been Vegas or Miami or something?
Jessica is excited for the “safe deposit box” in the hotel room’s closet.
While preparing to go out in San Fran, Nikki uses a “bump it” in her hair so she has a poof in front like Snooki. (Jersey Shore crossover!) Char says that people are going to be like “I want to climb Mount Everest, can I climb you?”
Crickets…at least on our end. Lauren thinks this is hilarious and probably pees a little. I hope there was something cut out that was actually funny because otherwise this is just sad.
Nikki asks a guy at the bar how old he is and he says “It starts with twenty and rhymes with ‘ive’”.
Crickets.
Seriously Oxygen? This is the shit you’re giving us?
Jem is trying to pick up a guy by talking about her bisexuality. Is she 21 and is this 1999? It works because she’s making out with him despite the fact that she has a boyfriend. This is the second time she’s cheated.
Suddenly a man in a sailor suit is sitting next to Lauren, trying to get her to talk. I’m so confused.
Nikki is wasted, laying on the floor of the limo, her dress is riding up and down at the same time.
The next day the girls go sailing, complete with a “king of the world” Titanic reference. What’s next a trip to the library to sit through a reading of The Grapes of Wrath? BORING!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m seriously considering just erasing this entire recap because it is just not worth talking about. All of the girls seem miserable and annoying.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Bad Girls Club aka Drunk Angry Skanks (from 1/24)
We’re only on episode 3 of this season so I’m still learning the girls’ names. I’m sure one of them is named Amber, right? There’s always an Amber.
Previously on The BGC, Jem of Jem and the Holograms aka Sydney cheated on her boyfriend with some random guy with those big ugly holes in his ears. The strange thing is, she didn’t have sex with him – she gave him a hummer and she was all excited about “getting some”. Ummm, Jem I think the only thing you got was oral herpes.
Her boyfriend comes to visit and Nikki told him that Jem cheated on him. Nikki also accidentally sliced up Blondie’s (Kori) hand with a purse. Evidently a purse made of razor blades.
Everyone hates Nikki and wants her to go home. They have a house meeting about it but Nikki claims “I run this house” and she is not leaving. The other girls scribble on her picture like a TRUE bad girl in hopes she’ll leave. Surprisingly, the markers don’t change Nikki’s mind.
Lauren, who doesn’t look like a bad girl at all, puts bright red lipstick around her mouth as if she just has one long lip instead of an upper and a lower lip. Why? She looks like Bozo the Clown. She just needs Jem’s hair color and some big shoes.
Since one girl went home in the very first episode, a new one is coming in to replace her. The new girl’s name is Ashley. She keeps using “is” instead of “are” so I hate her already. She also looks like she’s about to turn 14 but with a body of a short stripper.
Ashley shows up at the house while all of the girls except Nikki are gone. So of course, those two go out to eat at the Pink Taco. I thought that was a strip club because isn’t a pink taco another word for a vagina? However, they are actually eating tacos and there are no visible vaginas.
Later that night, Ashley is going out with the rest of the girls. She tells the girls that back home she doesn’t really have friends that are females. She’s one of THOSE types…”people don’t like me because they are jealous.” The girls’ plan is to get Ashley really drunk but then when she falls down they make fun of her and say she can’t hold her liquor.
The camera guys aren’t playing around in this episode, for half of the conversation in the limo the girls’ heads were cut off and we just saw boobs and legs.
Commercials…I of course fast forward through them but I stopped forwarding on the one right before the show came back on and it happens to be for Vagisil. Marketing at its best!
Char announces another house meeting. Since Nikki won’t get out of bed they will bring the meeting to her. This involves carrying Ashley’s drunk ass as if she were a dead body. Jessica didn’t want to leave her passed out because “she’s part of this house, she gotta roll”. At least I think that’s what she says. However, they don’t roll her, they carry her and flop her on a bed so she can be at the important meeting.
The meeting is only to tell Nikki that she should leave. Char doesn’t look 14 but she acts like she is. She’s throwing all of Nikki’s clothes, shoes, wallet, etc. out over the balcony into the pool. She hit Nikki in the head with a pillow and started a staring contest. Their faces are about 2 inches away from each other.
I don’t know who won the staring contest but Char needs to shave her armpits so she loses automatically. She also loses because in some of her “confessional interviews” she’s wearing a turtleneck with a big necklace stuck to it.
The next morning all of the girls are sleeping on the floor instead of in beds. Are they just used to passing out on the floor so they don’t even attempt to get in bed?
Nikki files a police report about the damage that Char has done to her property. She makes sure that her “crocheted Uggs” are on the list. Check.
The cops are there taking Nikki’s statement and Lauren Lips is just sitting there with a bottle in her mouth as if her tongue was stuck inside it. Not tipping it back, not drinking it…just putting her lips around it. Advertising, I guess. I’m sure there was a dark red ring of lipstick around that bottle too.
The next day Jem gets some information online that her “uncle has been bombed in Afghanistan” and she must go home. Of course Char thinks that there are other reasons she’s leaving because she’s just a bitch. Yup, that’s right I said it. But who am I to say…maybe the Holograms need Jem back home to shoot a truly outrageous video?
That night, all the girls quickly get ready – which means snapping hair in for Kori and side braids, a romper and red lips for Lauren.
Ashley announces to the girls that she’s better than all of the girls but they all hear “prettier” so they are angry. All fired up already, they are heading out to the limo and some blonde bystander says “Bad Girls my ass!” This starts a whole lot of finger pointing in the face and smacking themselves in the chest. What a letdown.
Nikki’s clothes are still all over the yard and in the pool. It looks like the biggest white trash house west of Jersey Shore. Char basically apologizes to Nikki and now she’s diving down in the pool and getting Nikki’s clothes out. No surprise, Kori, Jess and Lauren Lips follow suit and turn against Ashley instead. I just think that now they realize that Nikki is ugly so she’s better to go to the club with than Ashley.
Ashley stays home tonight because her one friend is coming to visit. The friend walks in and her name on the screen is “Ta’lor”. I wonder if she did that just for the show. Ta-apostrophe-lor brought some friends and they write some bad words on the other girls’ pictures. Damn these people are HARDCORE.
The girls come home to Ashley’s guests and they are not happy. One of Ashley’s friends says to Nikki that she’s gonna “sleep a bitch”. Huh? I think she might be friends with Brandi from the Miami season who says “Brandi been sleep!”
They are really clueless as to what the word sleep means. Either that or I’m not up on the fighting lingo.
Lauren Lips is angry at Ashley for bringing these guests in and confronts her. They push each other because that is allowed in the BGC. Lauren Lips is up against the counter and now Ashley is dirty dancing with her just to fuck with her. Manly Nikki comes in to separate them and Ashley kind of pushes her in the face and then grabs hold of her dress.
One of the male friends is in the middle of it and I can see him panicking, it is hilarious.
Suddenly Ashley has Lauren Lips by the neck and the hair and there are lots of people (including the crew) breaking it up. The episode ends with a big pile up in the corner.
Looks like Ashley’s going to end up having to go home already but we won’t know until next week!
Until then, I be sleep! Me is sleep. I’m’a sleep a bitch.
Previously on The BGC, Jem of Jem and the Holograms aka Sydney cheated on her boyfriend with some random guy with those big ugly holes in his ears. The strange thing is, she didn’t have sex with him – she gave him a hummer and she was all excited about “getting some”. Ummm, Jem I think the only thing you got was oral herpes.
Her boyfriend comes to visit and Nikki told him that Jem cheated on him. Nikki also accidentally sliced up Blondie’s (Kori) hand with a purse. Evidently a purse made of razor blades.
Everyone hates Nikki and wants her to go home. They have a house meeting about it but Nikki claims “I run this house” and she is not leaving. The other girls scribble on her picture like a TRUE bad girl in hopes she’ll leave. Surprisingly, the markers don’t change Nikki’s mind.
Lauren, who doesn’t look like a bad girl at all, puts bright red lipstick around her mouth as if she just has one long lip instead of an upper and a lower lip. Why? She looks like Bozo the Clown. She just needs Jem’s hair color and some big shoes.
Since one girl went home in the very first episode, a new one is coming in to replace her. The new girl’s name is Ashley. She keeps using “is” instead of “are” so I hate her already. She also looks like she’s about to turn 14 but with a body of a short stripper.
Ashley shows up at the house while all of the girls except Nikki are gone. So of course, those two go out to eat at the Pink Taco. I thought that was a strip club because isn’t a pink taco another word for a vagina? However, they are actually eating tacos and there are no visible vaginas.
Later that night, Ashley is going out with the rest of the girls. She tells the girls that back home she doesn’t really have friends that are females. She’s one of THOSE types…”people don’t like me because they are jealous.” The girls’ plan is to get Ashley really drunk but then when she falls down they make fun of her and say she can’t hold her liquor.
The camera guys aren’t playing around in this episode, for half of the conversation in the limo the girls’ heads were cut off and we just saw boobs and legs.
Commercials…I of course fast forward through them but I stopped forwarding on the one right before the show came back on and it happens to be for Vagisil. Marketing at its best!
Char announces another house meeting. Since Nikki won’t get out of bed they will bring the meeting to her. This involves carrying Ashley’s drunk ass as if she were a dead body. Jessica didn’t want to leave her passed out because “she’s part of this house, she gotta roll”. At least I think that’s what she says. However, they don’t roll her, they carry her and flop her on a bed so she can be at the important meeting.
The meeting is only to tell Nikki that she should leave. Char doesn’t look 14 but she acts like she is. She’s throwing all of Nikki’s clothes, shoes, wallet, etc. out over the balcony into the pool. She hit Nikki in the head with a pillow and started a staring contest. Their faces are about 2 inches away from each other.
I don’t know who won the staring contest but Char needs to shave her armpits so she loses automatically. She also loses because in some of her “confessional interviews” she’s wearing a turtleneck with a big necklace stuck to it.
The next morning all of the girls are sleeping on the floor instead of in beds. Are they just used to passing out on the floor so they don’t even attempt to get in bed?
Nikki files a police report about the damage that Char has done to her property. She makes sure that her “crocheted Uggs” are on the list. Check.
The cops are there taking Nikki’s statement and Lauren Lips is just sitting there with a bottle in her mouth as if her tongue was stuck inside it. Not tipping it back, not drinking it…just putting her lips around it. Advertising, I guess. I’m sure there was a dark red ring of lipstick around that bottle too.
The next day Jem gets some information online that her “uncle has been bombed in Afghanistan” and she must go home. Of course Char thinks that there are other reasons she’s leaving because she’s just a bitch. Yup, that’s right I said it. But who am I to say…maybe the Holograms need Jem back home to shoot a truly outrageous video?
That night, all the girls quickly get ready – which means snapping hair in for Kori and side braids, a romper and red lips for Lauren.
Ashley announces to the girls that she’s better than all of the girls but they all hear “prettier” so they are angry. All fired up already, they are heading out to the limo and some blonde bystander says “Bad Girls my ass!” This starts a whole lot of finger pointing in the face and smacking themselves in the chest. What a letdown.
Nikki’s clothes are still all over the yard and in the pool. It looks like the biggest white trash house west of Jersey Shore. Char basically apologizes to Nikki and now she’s diving down in the pool and getting Nikki’s clothes out. No surprise, Kori, Jess and Lauren Lips follow suit and turn against Ashley instead. I just think that now they realize that Nikki is ugly so she’s better to go to the club with than Ashley.
Ashley stays home tonight because her one friend is coming to visit. The friend walks in and her name on the screen is “Ta’lor”. I wonder if she did that just for the show. Ta-apostrophe-lor brought some friends and they write some bad words on the other girls’ pictures. Damn these people are HARDCORE.
The girls come home to Ashley’s guests and they are not happy. One of Ashley’s friends says to Nikki that she’s gonna “sleep a bitch”. Huh? I think she might be friends with Brandi from the Miami season who says “Brandi been sleep!”
They are really clueless as to what the word sleep means. Either that or I’m not up on the fighting lingo.
Lauren Lips is angry at Ashley for bringing these guests in and confronts her. They push each other because that is allowed in the BGC. Lauren Lips is up against the counter and now Ashley is dirty dancing with her just to fuck with her. Manly Nikki comes in to separate them and Ashley kind of pushes her in the face and then grabs hold of her dress.
One of the male friends is in the middle of it and I can see him panicking, it is hilarious.
Suddenly Ashley has Lauren Lips by the neck and the hair and there are lots of people (including the crew) breaking it up. The episode ends with a big pile up in the corner.
Looks like Ashley’s going to end up having to go home already but we won’t know until next week!
Until then, I be sleep! Me is sleep. I’m’a sleep a bitch.
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