Bad Girls Club aka “Full Grown Mature Char” (from 2/14)

I didn’t even post a recap from the last episode because it was pretty lame but I put it up so that it makes sense going to this week’s episode.

Does anyone else bob their head along with the theme song? For some reason I love it.

Char says “Words cannot describe how much I could care less about Sydney being gone.”
HELLO??? It’s “couldn’t care less”. 

She’s now on the phone with her friend saying that she’s so mature – and I LOVE that Oxygen cuts in all the clips of her acting like a child. I love it.

I can’t stand looking at Nikki. Yes, it is pure shallowness but I can’t stand that she has no lashes and barely any eyebrows. It’s like they were burned off in a freak accident.

The “ladies” (using that term VERY loosely) go out to a bar to eat and drink. Char is too mature for Nikki and Lauren Lips so their burping is just upsetting her.

That night, Jessica is sick so she’s chugging some sort of medicine. She’s in the “confessional” room and saying that there are bugs all around and they are making her sweat…she jumps up on the seat. I think you took too much of that cough medicine, dear. Or maybe she just dropped some acid, I don’t know.

(from www.theopenend.com)

The skanks head out in some classy outfits. As one describes Nikki’s – it’s like a “under wear, a bra and then a dress in between.”  Believe me, no one wants to see Nikki’s crotch. Even though she has no eyelashes or eyebrows, I have a feeling there’s a jungle down there.

Char is jealous that Nikki is making out with some dude at the bar so she claims the guy is “shady” and it is embarrassing.

Suddenly, Natalie Nunn from Season 4 shows up. Talk about a reality TV whore. She shows up at the club on every season of the BGC. I cannot STAND this girl. She’s the one who always says “I run LA”. Ok no one besides me and the other 25 people that watch the Bad Girls Club know who you are.

(from http://www.zimbio.com/)

(I have to warn you – don’t Google images of Natalie Nunn because I saw what seems like a still from a sex tape and she has some ugly nipples).

Of course Lauren Lips is STARSTRUCK by Natalie. This doesn’t surprise me. Char is upset about this because she’s too cool for Natalie. I’m going to have to agree with that, actually.

Char doesn’t like people around her that do embarrassing things and she doesn’t like to be embarrassed…why the fuck did you audition for The Bad Girls Club? Next to Las Vegas Jailhouse or Cops this is the most embarrassing show to be on. Well and any VH1 reality show.

She also says she’s “too grown”. Why do people think that “grown” and “mature” are the same thing? We have a full grown dog who eats his own poop. Grown does not equal mature.

Full grown Char is walking around the house in tiny purple boy short underwear and a tank top that is pulled up so her stomach is revealed. She’s putting her fingers into an “L” on her forehead to explain that someone is a “loser”. Now all she needs is some Cheetos cheese on her fingers and she’s in Britney Spears territory.

Kori (blondie) pulls Char aside for some reason to tell her about her childhood. She was basically abducted and thrown into rehab by her parents when she was 12 because she ran away from home and was misbehaving. She wasn’t doing drugs or drinking at that time, just being “bad”. I am so distracted by the fact that she talks out of the right side of her mouth and I just keep wondering if she had a mini-stroke or something.  Oh – and we find out Kori wanted to tell Char this because she’s so “mature”. Seriously.

Anyway, Nikki invites the guy she met at the bar and his friends over. Char, viewing their entrance from the balcony upstairs says that the roommates “have men spending the night that don’t get up and go to work in the morning. I’m grown, like, I don’t want a man that does not have a job.” Ugh, enough with the grown!

Nikki changes from her mini dress and climbs into bed very asexually with a sports bra and what looks like boxer briefs. She claims (to the camera during interview time) that Char needs to pick up her game because she’s taken home more guys and gotten more numbers.

If picking up your game means picking up some herpes, I’m not sure people want to follow your lead Manly-no-eyebrows-Nikki. But damn, go to Victoria’s Secret if you’re going to have sexy time with strangers.

The next day full grown Char is laying on the couch, legs spread open while wearing cotton bikini underwear. She’s really showing her maturity here. At the bar later that night she sees a guy she thinks is cute, a “blasian” (black and Asian guy). Miss Maturity writes on a napkin “Do you like her, check yes or no?”

The guy has a girlfriend and her friend comes to say something to the “seventh grader” who wrote the note. Hilarious.

Back at the house, Char and Kori are making fun of Lauren Lips’ accent. Lauren pushes Char and now they are arguing by pointing their fingers into each others face. Char tells Lauren she’s “going to look like Oprah” (?????) and then throws water at her.

Somehow Lauren’s strapless dress comes down as she fights with Char and Kori. Kori just keeps throwing her body at Lauren as if her arms are stuck to her side. Lauren is actually throwing punches.

Char says she’s not a child, she’s 27 and she did that when she was 21 and 25. I guess at 22, 23 and 24 she kept her mouth shut.

I’m so sick of this mature, grown shit, especially coming from someone who is clearly the most immature in the house. The next day she’s AGAIN walking around in her underwear and making stupid comments to Lauren Lips. She goes over to the corner of the living room in her undies to workout.

When Kori walks in the room, Char says “The beluga whale has been quiet all morning, she must be sick or something!” talking about Lauren. OMG. PLEASE someone punch Char in the vagina. Please.

Bravo again to Oxygen for showing previous clips to prove the hypocrisy!!

That night at the club Natalie is there again (surprise, surprise). She introduces some singer who is wearing a black leather bathing suit, fishnets and a side ponytail.

I definitely think Char has won the honor of the most annoying “Bad Girl” ever. I’m actually embarrassed for her.  She’s repeating the insults she spewed in the limo to herself in the kitchen. Most of it doesn’t even make sense.

Next week there’s a call from Playboy, a new roommate who thinks having fun means getting naked and lots of fighting between Full Grown Char and Lauren Lips.