Ronnie is sad so he’s smokin’ butts on the roof deck. I just realized that there is an amusement ride very close to their house, when you’re on it, it looks like you can see everything on the roof. I wonder if that is the appeal of the ride.
“2 tokens to take a ride that overlooks the infamous Jersey Shore hot tub/roof deck. Rated R for nudity, sexual situations, violence and strong language”
People on the ride are watching Ronnie cry like a little girl. Well, not a little girl. A big fat girl.
The Situation arrives to help Ronnie by using every cliché quote in the book. If he says “The past is history, the future’s a mystery and now is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.” I’m going to shoot myself.
On another Situation note: why does he have designs shaved into his hair? Does it say Bel Biv Devoe
?The cameras have followed Sammi home. WTF? I thought we were rid of her? Her dog almost committed suicide by jumping over the railing on the stairs when she arrived home.
Ronnie is talking to the remaining girls and they are basically ignoring him. Why isn’t Cinderella “Don’t Know What You Got ‘Till its Gone
” playing in the background? Maybe Ronnie will go listen to it and cry.Because the house is beginning to seem like a funeral parlor, Deena and Snooki decide to put cake in Vinny’s hair. That’s the only logical thing to do when you’re bored and people are depressed, right?
Pauly D. is excited because now they can start a prank war. Deena and Snooki hide under their beds. I’m not sure how they fit, it must look like when a kid hides under a blanket and thinks that because he can’t see you…you can’t see him.
Vinny fills a water balloon at the sink and drops it before tying the knot. Since that didn’t work, they decide to take dog poop from the trash and put it in a ventilated plastic bag.
(BTW: Pauly D.’s hair has so much gel in it tonight, that it looks silver.)
The bag of poop goes under the pillow and Pauly D. says “Perfect. That will be there for weeks.” Who just gagged because that’s probably true?
Of course, Snooki and Deena are hiding under the bed so they know that something has happened so the poop bag gets transferred to Vinny’s bed.
The next prank is ruined by The Situation because he always opens his mouth. Vinny took Snooki’s stuffed crocodile and hung it with a rope over the railing of the deck. When Snooki notices it missing she searches through the house saying “Croc?” and Mike blows it up by showing her where it was.
(BTW: Pauly D. is so tan that even though he’s wearing a black tank top and black pants, it looks like a full bodysuit because his face and arms are the same color as the clothes.)
All three toilets in the house are clogged. All the blame is on Ronnie which doesn’t seem right because just a short while ago he was pissing and bleeding out of his ass.
Vinny is using a wire hanger to snake the toilet which doesn’t work. We see the brown water splashing around.
At work, Snooki needs to poop but Ronnie is crying in the bathroom so she has to hold it in.
Back at the House of Depression, the group discusses how Ronnie isn’t going to be “Single Ronnie” because he’s so sad. When Ronnie arrives, he gets on the phone to place an order for roses for Sammi and her sister since it is her sister’s birthday. The woman asks if he wants to add a balloon, a teddy near or chocolate with it and of course Ron says “How about all three
?”How’d you let him get away, Sam?
The boys take Ronnie to get haircuts while the girls move Sammi’s stuff from the upstairs bedroom down to their room. While packing things up Angelina-Style (in garbage bags), JWoww discovers a smell and they come to the conclusion that she just picked up “dirty drawers”. Someone pooped in their pants and it was either Ronnie, Sammi or the Situation.
For some reason it is a big secret that they took Sam’s things so both JWoww and Deena deny it. I don’t get it.
Later on, Deena has a belly ache and realizes that she, like the toilets, are backed up. Snooki suggests coffee because then it will “flow out of your butthole like friggen rainstorm.”
Pauly D. is in the bathroom getting “fresh to death, as I do”. At least that’s what I think he said. I’m 32 and a mom…I don’t know this lingo.
He sees some disgusting panties, needs to investigate them because you can’t get fresh in a bathroom with dirty underwear, so he takes them out of the room with a plastic fork. Why there was a plastic fork readily available in the bathroom is beyond me.
MTV has blurred out part of the panties, but it is clear that there are some yellow-ish brown stains inside these lacy white undies. Seriously?
He lays the underwear down with the fork on the red bean bag chair in the living room. Deena and JWoww deny that they are theirs and someone points out that they can’t be Snooki’s because there is no bronzer on them…(or is there?)
Before going out everyone makes fun of Deena for being constipated. Pauly D. announces that the “cabs ah heeeah” and he dives right on the bean bag chair where the crusty underwear were!!
(BTW: At the club, Ronnie’s wearing the ugliest shirt – almost like a bowling shirt and with sparkly designs on the back and although I paused it to see that it says “Black ‘n Royalty” (I think) I seriously thought it said “Bone, Thugs & Harmony”.)
Depressed Ronnie whines about missing Sammi to Snooki and I really hate that he says “Schnooki.” It’s like when people call it a papschmear.
Despite Deena’s constipation problems, she gets completely wasted, falls down on the way home and starts crying about missing her friends. Ronnie actually cheers her up before he attempts to cook some gross frozen hamburger patties on the grill that has no propane. Did they pop those burgers out of a can? Spamburgers.
Back at the house, The Situation falls onto the bean bag chair twice to make fun of Deena. Don’t they remember the dirty underwear? You know they didn’t clean that bag.
Snooki brought home a guy from the bar to have sex with, she doesn’t remember his name even though he told her it was Gianni about 6 times on the walk home. They go to the “smush room” to have sex on the disgusting bed that has no sheets. I’m thinking that there MUST be some poop schmeared on that mattress.
Until next week, stay regular.
hahaha hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI was so confused by the title until I watched it today! I thought for sure there would be another scene of Ronnie at the doc with a finger up his butt.........stay regular!!! HAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteHahahahaa.... I clicked on the "how about all three" link :)
ReplyDeleteSuper funny... as always!