Since she had already planned a "fall party" months ago, she's still going to put it on. Fucking idiot. But maybe it's in her Real Housewives contract. They need a big party at the end of the season for dramatic reasons.
Tamra is annoyed with Eddie as he tries to pick out an ugly shirt. But really she's just stressing about seeing Jeana at Vicki's party. Apparently she talked to the press and told them she witnessed Tamra hitting Simon. She continues to bitch and talk about it to Eddie and I feel like he wants to bash her over the head...I certainly do.
Gretchen wants Slade to go to Vicki's party and I don't blame him for not wanting to do so. Not only because they all talk shit about him but he makes a good point that Vicki always wanted to pass judgement on others' relationships and here she is going through a divorce.
Alexis has forgiven Vicki for bleeding out of her ass and missing the Alexis Couture party. She's getting dressed to head to the party. For some reason Alexis has invited four of her friends. We know Jim isn't going since he hates everyone.
I have to repeat word-for-word what I just heard come out of Alexis' mouth.
"The problem with liberal America today is that this is the decade of being so liberal and women being able to run for president, women being able to do everything their man can do and excuse me, but I am a woman and I'm made from my husband's rib. I want to be the wife and be his baby and his cherish what he cherishes."
Oh yes Alexis...it is SUCH a problem that us women can actually do everything a man can. I am NOT made from anyone's fucking rib.
Please tell me all of you want to shove her head into her oven like I do.
Tamra is pissed that Vicki didn't tell her that she filed for divorce and that she had to read about it on the internet. Because it is ALL about you Tamra. She has a letter from her lawyer to give to Jeana at the party about not talking to the press anymore. Eddie wants to throw her out the window of the limo.
Gross...when someone brings oysters over to Peggy, Eddie and some woman, Peggy says "Oysters...ooooh so we get horny?" No one should ever say the word horny. I hate it. But coming from Peggy it's even worse.
Oh wait...much worse coming. Eddie says "No, me get horny...you get the benefit." I think my vagina just dried up forever.
Meanwhile inside, Tamra is talking to Vicki about the divorce situation and I can't get past the fact that she's wearing about 12 pounds of makeup.
For some reason when Vicki starts to cry Tamra's response is to yell at her and tell her to play with her boobs. I'd hate to see her at a funeral.
On orders from Tamra, Peggy spreads the word to everyone at the party to not mention Don. Awkward.
Peggy decides to confront Alexis about the lip comment in the limo while they were in Texas. Alexis' dumbass doesn't actually "get" that Peggy is confronting her about being the asshole that she's been over the last few weeks. She actually thinks it is about plastic surgery.
They keep calling each other 'honey' and Alexis tells Peggy that she's not "allowed" to talk about her husband. This is the worst most boring argument ever.
Apparently Peggy agrees with me because that wasn't enough drama for her. She confronts Jeana about saying things to the press about Tamra. They pull Tamra over. Jeana says the press twisted her words.
Tamra just keeps saying "really, really, really?" Then she suddenly grew balls and starts pointing her finger at Jeana and yelling at her.
What's up with Quinn's terrible wig?
Tamra throws her letter from her lawyer into Jeana's face. Jeana threatens to throw her in the pool. (Time to work on your comebacks Jeana).
Tamra calls her a bitch and throws her wine directly into Jeana's eyes.
Jeana throws hers but since she's obviously blinded by the alcohol, the drink just hits some other chick in a blue dress. I was wondering why they actually "introduced" this girl earlier in the episode - its because SHE is the one who pushes Jeana from behind.
Less than a minute later, Jeana's man-boy throws his drink at the girl in the blue dress.
Tamra is no where to be found. Her balls disappeared.
Oh wait - she's out front in the driveway wearing no shoes. She tells Vicki that Jeana tried to throw her in the pool and that's why she threw the drink in her face.
The blue dress bitch suddenly asks Quinn if she can borrow her wig because Jeana got her hair wet. Who is this fucking chick?
Alexis talks to Tamra and she says that she doesn't get into the press and that she doesn't read. Big surprise. She probably thinks that she's not allowed to read because her husband does all the reading. Tamra says that Jeana pushed her and that's why she threw her drink. Is she THAT fucking stupid? There are cameras on you!
Gretchen basically tells Tamra that she did the same thing to her that Jeana did. Talked to the press about things that she didn't know anything about. Karma's a bitch.
"The problem with liberal America today is that this is the decade of being so liberal and women being able to run for president, women being able to do everything their man can do and excuse me, but I am a woman and I'm made from my husband's rib. I want to be the wife and be his baby and his cherish what he cherishes."
ReplyDeleteUm, wow. I have no idea what she's saying... I think this is drunklish. But apparently she wants to be cherish, the noun and verb.