Teen Mom Seaon Premiere: Here For Boobs (from 7/5)

I feel like it has been ages since I've blogged...and it certainly has been too long for us to be away from Farrah, Amber, Catelynn and Maci!

Maci kicks us off with a little recap on her breakup with Ryan and new relationship ups and downs with Kyle. 

Maci is having money troubles because Ryan's child support has suddenly stopped.  She calls the department for child services and says "This is Macy." I guess they are on a first name basis.

(Ok I know they just block out her last name on TV but what's the point? We all know its Bookout.)

She confronts Ryan about not getting child support. He says that it has automatically been coming out of her check. Maci believes him so they casually sit down and Ryan wants to ask Maci a question but he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  Maci suggests that he just text her.

He texts her...from 3 feet away...and it says "Is Kyle slow???" Evidently lots of people were asking Ryan about that.

The answer is no, according to Maci.  She forwards the text to Kyle and he's pissed. Duh.

Maci goes to lunch with her friend Keelie who may or may not have been in a fight or had some rough sex because she has a bruise on her arm that she tries to hide when she remembers.

Maci later discovers that her bank (named Maximus) screwed up so Ryan was telling the truth about the child support.



Farrah reviews last season with her crazy mom issues and tells us that she's in culinary school, waitressing and modeling.

She's going to further her career in waitressing by getting a boob job. Hooters, here comes Farrah!!!

Oh wait, its for the modeling. She says that the implants will be an investment for her and Sophia's future. Isn't that normally what strippers say? That their boobs are an investment?

She's at the plastic surgeon's office for a consult and has to fill out some paperwork.

On the form:            Please list which part(s) of your body bothers you and why?

Farrah's answer:     Here for Boobs.

I guess we should give her credit for using words. I was kinda expecting a sketch.

She's able to get a loan from the bank for her boobs.  I wonder if she wrote "Here for boob money" on the application.

Back at home, Debra wants Farrah to write a will because she could die when getting her new boobs.

It's boob job day. Is it just me or does Farrah look like some sort of Muppet with that hair net cap on?  I wonder if they will make her nose smaller while she's under anesthesia. Two for one! (Well I guess technically three for one).



During the commercial break, Farrah gets her boobs implanted.

Her dad comes to pick her up at the hospital. How weird is that? Obviously he's going to check out her chest.  At home, he needs to help Farrah down the stairs so he leaves Sophia in the entry way with the door open. The camera guys can watch her. New boobs are more important.



Catelynn's review includes showing her dirty awful mom April who looks like she's in her 60s and reminding us about Butch being in jail.

Catelynn and Tyler fell behind in school and they didn't graduate. Now there is more stress when Catelynn discovers that her bedroom window was attempted to be pried open.  They check Catelynn's little brother's room and his window was unlocked and open.  Nothing was stolen so we can only assume that someone has broken in to take photos of this celebrity home.

It scares everyone so they are going to try to find a new place.  Catelynn and Tyler are going to try to find a place together.  She hasn't told her mother yet so to appease her friends she calls her immediately. She doesn't seem to care too much. 




Train-Wreck is back and we get a flashback of her fights with Gary.  She's still dating the creeper she met at WalMart (Chris).  For some reason Gary still wants Amber back.  Gary is no prize but he obviously deserves someone better than this chick.

Amber and Gary are going to see a professional to work on their issues.  Basically she's cuddling on a couch at relationship counseling with her ex, while she's still in a relationship with another guy.  During this session, Amber looks stoned.

Later when Gary is at Amber's place, she gets on the phone with her WalMart boyfriend and then just gets in her car and drives to his house.  She is courteous enough to call Gary as she's driving away to let him know.

WalMart is devastated. No Teen Mom money for you, dude!

The Real Housewives of OC Reunion (from 6/12)

I think Andy needs to skip the "hello's" to each indivudal person on the reunion shows. It's really awkward.

What kind of prude is Vicki that she doesn't use the word 'vagina'?

GREAT...we get to see flashbacks of Tamra and Ugly Eddie making whoopie in the tub. I actually feel pretty nauseated because I just ate.

Andy asks Tamra if her kids know Eddie. Tamra says that they don't know him well and that she's really strict with the fact that when she has the kids, they are at her house and when the kids are with Simon, she's with Eddie.

Alexis says what we're all thinking "Well they know Eddie now if they turn on the TV screen...in a bubble bath."  THANK YOU Alexis. Even though I hate you.

Tamra asks what her point was. Um...I think she just made her point idiot.

Tamra thinks Gretchen is jealous of her hot man. I think Slade is slimy as hell and he's hotter than Ugly Eddie. Tamra is delusional.


Vicki's turn. Failed marriage scenes.  At the reunion Vicki's skin looks TERRIBLE.  She has so much makeup on and it looks shiny and bumpy.

Don was interviewed by Bravo and I'm totally on his side. Vicki treated him badly, ignored him, never came home and then the way he found out that Vicki wanted a divorce was when the process server showed up at his work. Bitch.  I think Karma gave her that bad skin.

Well, at least she's taking responsibility for being cold to him.  She says her lawyer told her that she needed to throw him a surprise party for the divorce. Ok not a party. But Don had to be surprised by the process server.



Alexis' scenes show her making that little speech about being made from her husbands rib. PLEASE have someone confront her about that ignorant shit.

Andy asks if Alexis would discourage her daughters from running for president when they got older. Alexis says she would want them to do whatever they want but she feels safer having a man run the country.

Hey Gretchen - please take your stiletto and stab her in the eye. Thanks.

I'm distracted by everyone's EXTREMELY shiny legs.  Maybe it is the lighting because Peggy, Vicki and Tamra look like they've been soaking their legs in olive oil and Gretchen and Alexis' are dry and normal.

Regarding Alexis' house situation - she says that they sold their house and they are paying cash for a new one. Vicki and Tamra call bullshit because the bank wouldn't allow them to do a short sale if they knew they had other assets or other money to pay the difference in the mortgage to the bank.  Alexis is a moron for even answering these things on TV.

Tamra says that Jim put the house in a business' name, filed bankruptcy on the business which stopped the foreclosure and short sold the house all the while having other money to buy a new place. Suddenly Tamra seems smart. For a minute.



WHAT? Gretchen had a song? It's terrible. Why do the housewives think they can become singers?

Gretchen points out that it is obvious while watching the show that Tamra can't stop talking about her or Alexis. If you look at the two couches you can tell why Tamra hates those two...they are MUCH prettier than she is.  She's fine with Vicki and Peggy because they are beasts.

Tamra says she's been neutral the whole season and hasn't talked about Gretchen at all.

Again...Tamra is delusional. She has lost it. Well, I don't think she ever had it.

Tamra continues to tell Gretchen that she was sleeping with another guy while she was engaged to Jeff. I can't believe she can still just make these comments based on what she "heard" after the whole thing with Jeana happened. Shut your ugly fucking mouth Tamra!

End of Part 1

*******

I'm getting this all over with in one night!

Peggy discusses her depression. Andy asks Alexis if she knew about Peggy's post partum depression and Alexis says "Yes, I suffered from it too."

IS SHE SERIOUSLY GOING TO BE IN A COMPETITION ABOUT FUCKING DEPRESSION?

Everyone stops and looks at each other. Peggy says that Alexis only had it with the twins whereas she had it with both of her kids.  Alexis claims that when she was talking to Peggy one day she was the one who told Peggy that maybe she has depression.

Why hasn't Gretchen stabbed her in the eye yet? Maybe Tamra will. I'll go "like" her on FB if she does that. And I hate Tamra.

Alexis wanted to get Peggy on the RH but then changed her mind when she realized she would be in competition with her. Alexis doesn't admit this, she just says that she didn't want to ruin their friendship so she never ended up submitting her name for casting.  Apparently someone else did...

We know that Peggy dated Jim many years ago, before Alexis and Jim got together. Jim didn't tell Alexis until a couple of months before the season started filming.  Peggy says that Jim told her that she NEVER wanted Alexis to find out about it. Mr. and Mrs. Never Keeping Secrets have some skeletons in the closet. And Mr Jim's skeleton has ugly fake lips and giant fake boobs.

Alexis now claims that it was Peggy's responsibility as her friend to come to her and tell her that she dated Jim.  WHAT? So she thinks that Peggy should have told her and NOT Jim? She needs some counseling.

She can't believe that Peggy could look her in the eyes every day and not tell her. Maybe Alexis and Jim don't look at each other in their eyes? Because how can she even say this? JIM should have told her. JIM looked at her every day and never said anything.  But wait, Jim is a saint. And a topless model.

Clips of Gretchen from this season really show her as a huge bitch. But Vicki and Tamra are consistently hypocritical so Gretchen still looks like the best one on the show.

Vicki thinks that Gretchen shouldn't have done the show in the first place because her fiance was dying. She should have made her relationship a priority and left the show.  Gretchen says the same back to Vicki - that if her marriage was a priority and was clearly failing, SHE should have left the show.  Vicki thinks this comparison is outrageous but I agree with her.  Yes, sickness/death and divorce are two different things - but they are both serious life issues that should be dealt with in private and be priority number 1.

Vicki can't say SHIT.

Jeff wanted Gretchen to continue with the show and this causes Vicki and Tamra to roll their eyes.

Now there is a lot of arguing about Alexis' fashion show extravaganza when Vicki was in the hospital and Tamra spent the time texting and announcing that Vicki's ass is bleeding.  Every single person except Andy are talking over each other so we cannot hear a full sentence. I almost want to mute it.


Slade is getting his own section on the reunion. He's been on the show as long as Vicki since he dated a few past housewives.

Tamra announces that Slade's son's mother (Michelle) called her the day before the reunion. Slade says that Michelle told him Tamra called HER, basically fishing for information. Tamra claims that's a lie and then yells out that Slade doesn't pay his child support.  She somehow thinks she knows everyone's personal and financial business.

Tamra doesn't want to listen to Slade say negative things about her so she walks off set. She thinks she knows what is going on in Slade's life because of his Twitter updates.

Backstage Tamra calls Michelle on her cell and puts her on speakerphone.  It TOTALLY sounds like Bravo has chopped up this conversation to make Slade look worse.

Does anyone else think that Tamra called a fake "Michelle"?

Back on stage Tamra keeps insisting that Slade is broke and doesn't have a job even though he and Gretchen say he does. It's just not what it used to be. The sad thing here is that I believe Slade and Gretchen - but only because I hate Tamra so much that I want to disagree with her.


Jeana's here. She's living with her new boyfriend and she's still not officially divorced from her husband. Who cares?

We see the clips from the party when Tamra confronted Jeana. Of course - no where in those clips did they show Jeana pushing Tamra (like she claimed).

Jeana makes a good point about how Tamra made a big deal about putting Simon in jail because he threw something at her because her kids should know that it is NOT ok to throw things at people. Yet in the final episode she threw a piece of paper and a glass of wine at Jeana.

Tamra just meant to say "cease and desist" but she said "ciss and asseese".

During the wrap up "what did you learn from this season" Alexis decides to talk about how she just got a text from Jim because she sent him one asking about Peggy.  Jim told her that Peggy was lying and that she went crazy and broke into his place. If that was truly the case, WHY would Jim "allow" Alexis to hang out with Peggy. Bullshit.

The Real Housewives of NYC: Santa Does Henna (from 6/9)

We begin where we left off - Jill and Ramona's "fight" with both of them crying.  LuMann and Kelly join Jill to discuss what happened.

Cindy pokes in and tells her it isn't worth it.  Not sure why people thought it was worth being her friend before this.

Downstairs Ramona is crying with Alex comforting her. Sonja stands there with a leopard scarf around her neck that drags on the floor - someone could choke her if they stepped on it.  When LuMann comes in she asks Ramona why she's causing trouble and Alex shoos her away to get Ramona some Pino Grigiot.  There must be some in a box under Ramona's bed.

Everyone feels the need to come in and talk to Ramona about the situation. Just mind your own fucking business everyone! Ugh.

Everyone goes out to dinner. A belly dancer is flinging herself around the restaurant.  For some reason Ramona is treating her like a stripper and putting money in the dancer's waistband.  This whole thing is embarrassing.  Now Alex and Ramona get up and dance with one of the belly dancers. Oh my goodness I would leave.

The next day Jill, Alex, Sonja, Cindy and Kelly go somewhere to get some historical tour. Jill asks a million questions. This is boring.


Later on Alex checks in with Ramona to see how she is doing after the fight with Jill. Ramona is "crying" on a chaise lounge outside. Alex promises to be Ramona's wingman tonight.


LuMann, Kelly and Cindy get henna tattoos. Ramona and Sonja are upstairs in their rooms.

Well - because we had some thunderstorms tonight, my Direct TV obviously got a little messed up because suddenly I was on a commercial and now we are back and Kelly is telling Alex that she's being weird.  Alex has the worst timing ever.

It looks like Alex came downstairs to defend Ramona.  She says that Ramona asked her to protect her from LuMann. Holy cripes. If Ramona really said that - Alex isn't supposed to repeat it. What an idiot.

Kelly keeps telling her to stop and to just stay out of it but for some reason Alex thinks that during this Moroccan vacation while the ladies are getting henna done is the perfect time to discuss drama.

Kelly walks away talking to herself calling Alex an idiot and she's stupid.  She says something about Alex's scarf. It's equally as weird as Alex's ranting.  Somehow Kelly's tattoo is ruined and she blames it on Alex.  She comes back in and tells Alex that this is not normal behavior.  (I think there is a mirror over there Kelly...take a look.)  At one point she exclaims to herself "Who's going to fix my tattoo? Santa?"

They go outside and Kelly just shhsshhs Alex over and over again. Alex is shouting and has hives all over her neck and chest.  Kelly actually calms her down and tells her that sometimes it is better to observe and not participate in chaotic situations.  When the fuck did Kelly become the voice of reason??? If she hadn't said Santa would fix her henna tattoo and would just stop saying the word "weird" in every single sentence I would almost consider her borderline somewhat a teeny bit normal.


Sonja tells Ramona that she snuck a peek at the dresses that were made by the designer for them.  Ramona wants to sneak and look at it too. Ramona actually tries hers on over her clothes. She doesn't seem to like it so she tries on another. None of this seems like a good idea.  They run back to their room, Alex joins them and they discuss the events.


Downstairs, Jill, LuMann, Cindy and Kelly are sitting down for dinner.   Apparently Alex and Ramona asked for dinner to be sent to their rooms instead but they told the kitchen this and not the ladies.  LuMann and Kelly again say that Alex was acting weird and dark.  Damn - I can't believe Direct TV cut off Demon Alex.  Can anyone tell me what happened? I will watch "Watch What  Happens Live" after this so maybe Andy will show a clip.

Alex suddenly shows up looking shocked that dinner is happening. LuMann says the kitchen is closed so Alex can just have the salad that is already on the table.  Alex says she wasn't told about the 8:00 dinner but LuMann thinks she did and says that because she has an education, she should know that telling LuMann that she wasn't coming to dinner was the right thing to do.  Oh yes, I learned about that in my Dinner Etiquette in Morocco with Annoying Bitches 101 class.

Apparently LuMann got her Masters Degree at Condescending University.  She says to Alex "You started it, not me." Did I just see her stick her tongue out?  Alex continues to talk on and on and Kelly leads her out of the room telling her that she's saving her.  Kelly has a Bachelor's Degree from CU.

Kim Zolciak should step in and start singing "Tardy for the Party."

Ramona and Sonja burst into the room later (I don't know how much later than 8pm) and Ramona asks what is for dinner.  LuMann says "What dinner?" It's already done and they had their sent to their room. Or they had wine sent to their room - I guess that is the same thing to Ramona and Sonja...dinner=wine.

Ramona said that the wine was a 5:00 snack and everyone keeps calling each other "darling."  For those who didn't graduate from Condescending U, they must be taking evening courses.

Sonja walks away quietly and Ramona seems to wander around trying to find the exit.  LuMann gets up to storm off.   Oh wait, Ramona comes back with plates full of the "snacks" she was talking about.

It seems as though no one knew when dinner was except LuMann, Kelly and Cindy.  Jill had shown up earlier but was gone the whole time finding Diet Coke? She comes in the room at the end and says that she's starving. Where has she been?

Ramona pulls the apology "I'm sorry you feel hurt."  That's not an apology. "I'm sorry I hurt you" is an apology.

Oh - it's 9:30pm. Why didn't someone just call up to their room or go and get them? They waited an hour and a half because maybe some food was sent to their rooms earlier in the day?


The next day is packing day.  Jill and Ramona talk again. It is a much calmer situation. They say they will let bygones by bygones and try to be more sensitive to each other's feelings. We'll see.



Back in NYC Mario and Simon are out playing pool. Some woman joins them and Simon takes a picture of Mario posing with her.  Bad timing there, probably.


Belly dancing. Ramona in a bikini top. Enough said.

It is the night for the ladies to wear their designer dresses. They get their makeup done. They actually all look really great.

LuMann wants to everyone to say their favorite part of the trip and Alex starts going on and on about feelings. For some reason LuMann keeps saying "yahabibi".

The Real Housewives of OC: Season Finale (from 6/5)

Vicki had been hospitalized from ulcers in her colon. She got out of the hospital and filed for divorce. She's been crying for a while and for some reason during this entire first scene she just keeps rubbing her eyes over and over with her fingers, tissues or something else.  Gross, stop rubbing your eyes!!

Since she had already planned a "fall party" months ago, she's still going to put it on. Fucking idiot. But maybe it's in her Real Housewives contract. They need a big party at the end of the season for dramatic reasons.


Tamra is annoyed with Eddie as he tries to pick out an ugly shirt. But really she's just stressing about seeing Jeana at Vicki's party. Apparently she talked to the press and told them she witnessed Tamra hitting Simon.  She continues to bitch and talk about it to Eddie and I feel like he wants to bash her over the head...I certainly do.


Gretchen wants Slade to go to Vicki's party and I don't blame him for not wanting to do so.  Not only because they all talk shit about him but he makes a good point that Vicki always wanted to pass judgement on others' relationships and here she is going through a divorce.


Alexis has forgiven Vicki for bleeding out of her ass and missing the Alexis Couture party. She's getting dressed to head to the party.  For some reason Alexis has invited four of her friends. We know Jim isn't going since he hates everyone.

I have to repeat word-for-word what I just heard come out of Alexis' mouth.

"The problem with liberal America today is that this is the decade of being so liberal and women being able to run for president, women being able to do everything their man can do and excuse me, but I am a woman and I'm made from my husband's rib. I want to be the wife and be his baby and his cherish what he cherishes."

Oh yes Alexis...it is SUCH a problem that us women can actually do everything a man can. I am NOT made from anyone's fucking rib.

Please tell me all of you want to shove her head into her oven like I do.


Tamra is pissed that Vicki didn't tell her that she filed for divorce and that she had to read about it on the internet. Because it is ALL about you Tamra.  She has a letter from her lawyer to give to Jeana at the party about not talking to the press anymore. Eddie wants to throw her out the window of the limo.


Gross...when someone brings oysters over to Peggy, Eddie and some woman, Peggy says "Oysters...ooooh so we get horny?" No one should ever say the word horny. I hate it. But coming from Peggy it's even worse.

Oh wait...much worse coming. Eddie says "No, me get horny...you get the benefit."  I think my vagina just dried up forever.


Meanwhile inside, Tamra is talking to Vicki about the divorce situation and I can't get past the fact that she's wearing about 12 pounds of makeup.

For some reason when Vicki starts to cry Tamra's response is to yell at her and tell her to play with her boobs.  I'd hate to see her at a funeral.


On orders from Tamra, Peggy spreads the word to everyone at the party to not mention Don.  Awkward.


Peggy decides to confront Alexis about the lip comment in the limo while they were in Texas.  Alexis' dumbass doesn't actually "get" that Peggy is confronting her about being the asshole that she's been over the last few weeks. She actually thinks it is about plastic surgery. 

They keep calling each other 'honey' and Alexis tells Peggy that she's not "allowed" to talk about her husband.  This is the worst most boring argument ever.


Apparently Peggy agrees with me because that wasn't enough drama for her.  She confronts Jeana about saying things to the press about Tamra. They pull Tamra over. Jeana says the press twisted her words.

Tamra just keeps saying "really, really, really?" Then she suddenly grew balls and starts pointing her finger at Jeana and yelling at her.

What's up with Quinn's terrible wig?

Tamra throws her letter from her lawyer into Jeana's face. Jeana threatens to throw her in the pool. (Time to work on your comebacks Jeana). 

Tamra calls her a bitch and throws her wine directly into Jeana's eyes.

Jeana throws hers but since she's obviously blinded by the alcohol, the drink just hits some other chick in a blue dress. I was wondering why they actually "introduced" this girl earlier in the episode - its because SHE is the one who pushes Jeana from behind.

Less than a minute later, Jeana's man-boy throws his drink at the girl in the blue dress.

Tamra is no where to be found. Her balls disappeared.

Oh wait - she's out front in the driveway wearing no shoes.  She tells Vicki that Jeana tried to throw her in the pool and that's why she threw the drink in her face.

The blue dress bitch suddenly asks Quinn if she can borrow her wig because Jeana got her hair wet. Who is this fucking chick?

Alexis talks to Tamra and she says that she doesn't get into the press and that she doesn't read.  Big surprise. She probably thinks that she's not allowed to read because her husband does all the reading. Tamra says that Jeana pushed her and that's why she threw her drink. Is she THAT fucking stupid? There are cameras on you!

Gretchen basically tells Tamra that she did the same thing to her that Jeana did. Talked to the press about things that she didn't know anything about. Karma's a bitch.

The Real Housewives of NYC (from 6/2)

Oh yes, we left off when the psychic told Ramona that there was another woman. Both Kelly and LuMann are translating for Ramona and I can't believe I actually like Kelly right now.  LuMann keeps "shhsshhing" Kelly because she doesn't like that she's translating while LuMann is trying to interpret what the woman is saying.

Ramona is in denial of any kind of other woman. Of course she does because she's so full of herself. But also because this is a psychic.  Who the hell is going to listen to some psychic in Morocco about your life at home in the NYC?

Brad's friend pulls Ramona aside and tells her not to take things personally. Ramona says she knows lots of women hit on Mario, even LuMann the first time she met him.

Over in another conversation Jill says that she's heard from her "crowd" that Mario is cheating on Ramona. And she only brings this up to the ladies after a psychic does? What a bitch!

While farting, Sonja is crying and making it sound like she knows about Mario cheating. She's worried that Ramona is going to be separating from Mario. Do people actually leave their spouses based on what a psychic says??


The next day (?) the ladies are taking a van to go shopping. LuMann needs to run to the bathroom so she tells Sonja to save her seat for her in the front of the van.  When Cindy gets in 30 seconds or so later, Sonja tells her she's saving her seat for her and Cindy is just not having it.  For some reason Kelly forfeits her seat and leaves the van.  Looks like they are traveling separately.

Sonja is worried that her money will be stolen - but she's dressed like a "rich American" according to Jill.  She should be wearing a fanny pack in order to look like someone from whom people won't steal.

Yes...Jill is wearing a fanny pack.

Cindy confronts Sonja about her saving the seat in the van. Sonja is appalled. I used to love Sonja but she's going downhill quickly. Cindy is overreacting a little and I seriously wish I could put some duct tape over everyone's mouth right now except Kelly. I'm SHOCKED at myself for saying that.


Camel toe time. I mean...camel riding time. Sonja is scared to ride because she fell off the horse with Kelly a few weeks ago. But Alex thinks that something else is going on with her. I have no idea what kind of clues she's getting from her refusal to ride a camel. Sonja walks next to them.

LuMann's camel tries to buck her off several times. In the previews they made it seem like she was thrown off but this unfortunately did not happen.  LuMann gets off and one of the guides has to walk with it and it is almost throwing him on the ground.

At the end of the camel ride they all have dinner and drinks in a large tent in the middle of the desert. They are playing a "game" where they tell everyone something that they don't know about each other. Everyone's is pretty boring but somewhat upbeat.  Alex decided to tell them that her father died when she was 11 years old. Sonja tells them about all of her hobbies like taking baths and yoga.

Sonja talks about her fears of traveling to Morocco and everyone just tries to talk over each other. Cindy is finally fed up and she walks out. Of course, then everyone except LuMann and Kelly follow her outside and they all talk over each other out there.  Jill and Ramona start hugging for some reason.

The next day some of the ladies have diarrhea. This is more than I've ever needed to know about the Real Housewives. To make things worse, Sonja says that Ramona has blown up her room. Gross.

Everyone goes to some sort of spa. Kelly informs us that the scrub rub-down happens everywhere on the body. Gross.

I'm so bored with this Morocco trip, especially finding out that LuMann did NOT fall off a camel.

Jill and Ramona decide to have a talk about their fight later on at the resort.  Ramona tells Jill that she's two-faced. Ramona brings up lots of little comments that Jill has said, stupid jokes that Ramona takes too seriously.

They continue to talk over each other. I want to rip the ears off my head but I'm afraid that I would still hear them.

Jill jumps up and starts screaming at Ramona. Ramona doesn't doesn't want to hear anything Jill is saying. Jill tells Ramona that unless she apologizes to her they can never be friends. This still has something to do with the St. John trip and Jill's falling out with Bethenny.

Jill asks where her nice friend Ramona is and tells her that she's changed.  Ramona comes back with the very adult "You've changed...everyone says it."  I think she's going to put her thumbs against her temples and start waving her fingers saying "Neener neener neener!"

They end the conversation and they both cry.

Next week looks a little more interesting...lets hope so.

Sorry - late on 16 & Pregnant Recap

I remembered the previews were boring so I wasn't jumping at the chance to watch and recap last night. But I will do it tonight. I heard it was boring so hopefully there is something of which I can make fun!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey (from 5/30)

Kathy is telling her husband Rich about what happened at the fashion show. She doesn't think she did anything wrong by confronting Teresa.  Well of course not, no one thinks they are wrong on this show.  She wants to speak with Caroline about it...maybe she's afraid.

She sets a date and goes to Caroline's house with a godawful basket and giant bouquet flowers. She begins to basically apologize and explain herself. Caroline clearly doesn't give a shit but she does back Teresa up a little bit and says that she felt bad for Teresa when she heard what was going on (when Kathy attacked Teresa's parenting).

Kathy grows some balls right before our eyes and says that she was upset with Caroline with the way she came in and made a judgement call. Hello??? It was Caroline's family's place of business. Of course she is going to tell people to calm down and take it elsewhere.

In interview Kathy is saying that she is a grown woman and she doesn't need anyone's approval or to win a friendship. The giant bouquet of flowers says differently.

At home, Rich feels bad for the way that Teresa treated his wife so he buys her a brand new car.




Caroline's sons are moving into their new apartment. Jacqueline has given them a couch for their new place and also...a stripper pole. Why did Jacqueline have a stripper pole??

Caroline is carrying the pole into the apartment and she says "This thing is going to make me throw up, that's all I know. It's choking me and it's itchy."

TOTALLY thought she was talking about the pole...but it's the feather boa around her neck.



Teresa is writing her second cook book and is having photos taken of the food. She's talking to a couple of people at the shoot and asking how they like the recipes. One says she likes it because there aren't any fancy ingredients. This is when Teresa says that in lots of cookbooks she read there were so many "ingredientses".

Yeah, we know what's going in their heads here.

For some reason at the photo shoot Teresa talks to her husband on speakerphone. He ran into her brother at the gym and the two of them talk about it, making everyone in the room uncomfortable. The photographer is thinking "Get the fuck off the phone and pay attention!"

Another day, Teresa, Caroline (with strangely slicked back wet hair) and Jacqueline go to a friend of Kim D's (the Posche owner) place to look at her clothes and see what they want before the new season's stuff comes out. Teresa tells the friend (Cynthia) that she used to be in the fashion industry too. She worked at Macy's.  Oooh oooh...I used to be an opthamologist. I was a receptionist at an eye doctor's office.

Kim points out that now Teresa's job is taking care of four kids and Teresa throws in "And I'm an author."  Oooh oooh...I used to be a journalist. I wrote a letter to the editor once.

Kim says "That's right. Writing her lil' recipes." Where did this condescention come from? Maybe she's becoming BFFs with Melissa.

Caroline and her wet head also becomes condescending with Teresa when she brings up Kathy visiting her. I sort of don't blame her because Teresa won't let Caroline finish a thought and she keeps throwing out there what "happened" at the fashion show.  Caroline just wants her to listen. She gets through one complete sentence and Teresa starts yapping again.

Teresa explains that she has tried to get in touch with her brother via his best friend but that she has four kids, she doesn't have TIME to be chasing her brother around. She says this as she's standing in a store with a glass of champagne in the afternoon with friends gossiping.

Caroline suggests that Teresa write a letter  because there is obviously an issue with communication. Teresa says "Not on my end." She's not listening again. If anyone has an issue with communication it's Teresa. Caroline looks like she's ready to strangle her.

At the Gorga household Joe comes home and isn't really talking to Melissa because she hasn't given him sex for a few days. She was tired from the fashion show and Joe thinks she needs to wake up to have sex with him. After she cooks, cleans and irons his clothes.

As they are eating together (just the two of them), their daughter comes in the room to tell them that Gino (her brother) spilled some water. Are they not eating in the same room? The kids have to eat separately?

Joe calls their daughter a cock block - well, Melissa says "blocker" but we all know that's what he says.  He says that not having sex basically builds up "poison" in his system. Great. Now all I can hear is the guy on Howard Stern saying "Release the poison" to the girl on the Sybian.



Jacqueline is visiting a psychic.  The psychic tells her that Ashley is very emotional right now and it is like she has constant PMS. Well, damn...I watched last season too so can you call me a psychic?  I predict that Ashley will act like a spoiled brat who wants everything handed to her.  That will be $400.

She also brings up Teresa and her family issues. She's clearly in the NJ gossip ring.


Another day, Teresa goes to Jacqueline's house to go through the letter that she's written to her brother per Caroline's advice. She "wrote" a rough draft on her bedazzled phone. If Solid Gold was still on the air, the dancers would have that phone.

She doesn't mention Melissa at all in the letter. Teresa feels that she's up to this point with them BECAUSE of Melissa. Jacqueline thinks she needs to mention her and take some responsibility but we all know Teresa isn't going to do that. She isn't listening to Jacqueline, in fact - she's rummaging through her purse as Jacqueline tries to give her advice.

Oh...she's looking for her phone because apparently it was ringing. She doesn't say anything to Jacqueline and just answers it. Ironically enough, as she was looking for her phone Jacqueline had been saying something about Teresa being self absorbed.

Teresa says that none of this is her fault and that it is hard to write this letter with Jacqueline because it has nothing to do with her. Oh Teresa, Teresa, Teresa. There is nothing going on in that little head of yours, is there?

Eventually Jacqueline lays on the couch with her son and Teresa frantically writes on shitloads of paper on the table.

It seems like it has taken all day and I feel bad for Jacqueline. She tells her that she's made the same point several times but Teresa just keeps writing, ending her note with the ever so passive aggressive "Your only sister, Teresa."

On the way to deliver the letter she says "I hope my brother changes...yada yada yada...he can't try to change me. I don't want to change him." When Jacqueline points this out she just gets a dirty look.

She leaves the letter on the door.

When Melissa and Joe get home, Joe makes Melissa read the letter out loud to him. Melissa wants him to talk to her and work things out.  Joe doesn't want to make peace with the "new Teresa".


Next week is Thanksgiving. Mmm...turkey...and apparently lasagna with not fancy ingredientses like "come-in".