16 (well, 17) & Pregnant: Worst Names EVER (from 5/17)

I want to start out by saying I haven't seen this girl yet because I haven't pushed play but I HATE that name.  I apologize if any of my readers are named Cleondra. I'm going to call her Cleo. Still bad but not as bad.

Cleo's sister had a baby when she was 17. The cycle of life and teen moms. Cleo's sister just comes and goes at home leaving her daughter Zyra to be raised by their mother and Cleo.

This is just the motherload episode of horrible names.  Cleondra, Dixie is the mom, Javon is the brother, Zerica is the sister and her daughter is Zyra.  I cannot wait to see what Cleo and Mario name their baby.   Dixie's boyfriend's name is Rob so he's the normal one.

Dixie has a sweet tattoo on her arm and I hope they show a full side view of Zerica because she's got a doozy as well.

Dixie provided her daughters with a "big ol' box of condoms" so she was surprised that Cleo got pregnant.

Cleo's boyfriend/baby daddy is Mario. He lives across the street. Easy access.  They've been together "since forever" according to Cleo. "Since forever" = 2 years.

Mario wants him, Cleo and the baby (a girl) to live at his house with his dad. It is a bit cramped with all the unfortunate named people at Dixie's house.  Cleo wants to stay at her house because of all the help there. She doesn't understand why Mario wouldn't want to live there.

Mario's mother Maria lives around the corner. She doesn't want to be called Grandma...probably because she's like 27.

Maria likes the name "Twilight" for the baby. What city do these people live in that they like such horrid names!?? 

Two side notes: #1 - I feel like this was filmed in 1990 or so...Cleo is wearing a vest and peace sign earrings.  #2 - Cleo is not the first teen mom to do this...she says stuff like "hang out" and actually pronounces the "g"...like "hang gout".  It's an epidemic, just like teen pregnancy!!

Time for the baby shower.  What is this scary looking thing that she opens first???

Of course she gets mostly clothes because teenagers don't know what to buy for a baby besides outfits and some creepy doll.

Mario is at work at the tire place and is taking a break with his 20 year old friend. This 20 year old already has a kid and another on the way. I bet his girlfriend/wife says "hang gout" too.

The baby is going to be named Kylee Sue. I hope that Sue is the middle name and just not part of the first name...you know, like Billy Bob?

Time for delivery.  The doctor is basically wearing a welder's mask.

Two days later, they get to go home. Cleo thinks that Mario will stay over and help with Kylee so she can get some rest. He says he will not stay there because it doesn't make any sense since he wants to get some sleep.  Kick him in the balls Cleo. Balls!

Luckily, Dixie and Rob are there to help and Zerica with her manly voice and ugly piercings is staying home more to care for her own daughter.

Mario doesn't come around. He doesn't want the baby to be around Zerica or Javon. So...leaving the baby there without you is better because....?

Cleo has to go take a midterm so she has Zerica and Javon watch Kylee for four hours. It sounds like even Dixie is questioning that decision later on when Cleo tells Mario.  Mario wants her to ask his mom or sister to watch Kylee before doing that again. But of course, minutes later - he just goes home.

When Cleo calls him to ask if he can come over and help with the baby his response is "I just don't feel like doing nothing today...I'm tired. I want to stay home and go to bed."  I'm confused as to why his balls are still intact at this point.

Cleo decides to take the baby and stay at Mario's for the night so she can prove a point and show him what it is like to take care of a newborn all night. When the baby wakes up at 4am, she asks him to make a couple of ounces of formula and Mario doesn't even flinch, he just stays asleep. Seriously Cleo, perfect opportunity to chop his balls off.

Once it is time for Cleo to go back to school, Kylee goes to a different babysitter every day of the week. (Rob, Mario, Mario's mom, Dixie, Mario's sister).  When they go out to eat Cleo and Mario continue to argue about who watches the baby, where they live, etc.  This pictures sums up how I feel about this episode.

Cleo and Mario's moms bring them together to make some compromises.  Suddenly in the next scene Mario is everything that Cleo could ask for in a boyfriend/baby daddy. If I still had anything left in my stomach after vomiting from watching the Real Housewives of NJ last night, I might have puked after that.