The Real Housewives of NYC (from 5/12)

The STAR Ramona is up first tonight.  She's doing a photo shoot so she can put photos of herself on her product a la Alexis from Real Housewives of OC. She's stiff and bug-eyed but did we expect anything else?

This was actually one of the shots taken:

Jill is visiting Cindy. Cindy has a ton of nannies, assistants, etc. One of the twins starts crying and woooppp hand her to a nanny.

Cindy says how it is crazy and she can't sleep because she hears the babies cry in the night...and the nannies wake up with them. Cindy gets to lay in her bed, I guess.

They gossip about Ramona.  Apparently Cindy is the only one who will "stand up" to Ramona. Everyone else accepts her for who she is but Cindy is all set.  What's wrong with everyone? Tell her to shut the fuck up? Oh wait...she's a star!!!!!!!  The thing that pisses me off is that you KNOW Cindy will be inviting her to some event again. Pussies!!

Another day Kevin is the twins father and he is visiting. I didn't realize that he was the father until Cindy said it because I immediately thought he was gay. I don't have a good gaydar.



Sonja is throwing a masquerade party so she has a "costumist" over to help her out.  He doesn't seem very excited about Sonja's choices and this awful wig she has.

LuMann is out looking for a costume and Jill comes by to join her. The woman that works there says that period costumes are very glamorous and sexy and Jill chimes in "That's me!"  Since when? She says that the last time she was there she needed to wear a bra but now she doesn't because she's gotten a breast reduction.

LuMann and Jill might be the two most annoying people in NYC at the moment.



Sonja has friends' kids staying with her and helping her out because she's struggling a little bit with money since her divorce.  Why is she throwing this lavish party? She doesn't know the meaning of struggling with money, I think.

The costumist guy fixed up the awful wig and her costume.  While Sonja is in the limo on the way to the party, LuMann calls to tell her she can't make it becuase she's sick. Way to wait until the last minute Countess.  Money can't buy you class.

Alex and Simon are there dressed up. Ramona walks in and I swear she can't see through her mask because she's bumping into things and Mario is holding her arm. Jill comes with "three male escorts". (Her husband and two other people). Kelly has bedazzled her face and Cindy looks like Barbarella.

Jill was expecting a giant lavish party of 200 people and is quite snobby when she realizes that there are like 15 people in what almost looks like a church basement.  Jill, Miss Passive Agressive says to Sonja how honered she was to be invited when she only invited 30 people.

Ummm...this is Sonja's ass. She's bending over everywhere and suddenly realizes "Whoops, I forgot half of my costume!" I mean, no one in the limo told her that they could see her vag?

Jill goes with Cindy to a cosmetic dentist. Jill thinks that Cindy should get something done to bring attention away from her teeth since she has so many. Don't we all have the same amount of teeth?? Well, unless you lost one in a fight, a hockey game or you're a redneck.

Cindy is so lucky to have Jill with her because Jill and her family are like doctors...without the degree or license.  Run...run away fast Cindy.


Ramona is standing around a bunch of her Pinot Grigio bottles. Her friend that got married in one of the earlier episodes arrives. She tells Ramona that during her wedding reception, someone told her that Jill wanted to congratulate her so she (the bride) went to see her.  Immediately Jill grills her and asked "What are Alex and Simon doing here?!"  She also asked why she's friends with Ramona.  Way to make the day about the bride and groom, bitch!

Someone needs to take Jill on a long car ride into the countryside and just let her out.

LuMann is grilling Ramona about how the wine is made because now that LuMann is going out with Jacques she's automatically a wine conossieuor.  LuMann also says "Pinot Greegio"...using the "g" sound instead of the "j" sound.

Ramona, Miss Ill-Timed-Confrontation-Woman pulls Jill aside to confront her about what the bride (Jennifer) told her just a little while ago. Of course, Jill blames it on someone else who is not part of the show and they beep out the name.

Jill wants Jennifer to join in the conversation because she claims none of it is true.  They start yelling at each other. Jill is angry that Ramona attacked her and Ramona says that she didn't attack her and that she was just trying to have a conversation with her.  Yeah...that's it.

Jill runs outside and talks to Jennifer about it. She still doesn't want to admit that she did anything wrong but goes back inside to tell Ramona that she worked it out.  Ramona is not having it. "If you have a problem with me you tell me to my face!" so Jill invites her to lunch.

Is that the rich people term for "You wanna step outside?"

Ramona looks like a loon and she and Jill just start saying "You need to...." "You need to...." and then Ramona walks away.

Ramona is inside hysterically talking to Jennifer, the Bride. Ramona REALLY needs to get her bangs trimmed.

I also think Ramona should quit drinking and maybe pop some sedatives.

Jill is in a car outside crying to LuMann. LuMann doesn't make it any better and says that Ramona's never been her friend.  Jill hands her the little koala she bought at the airport that she meant to give to Ramona and tells LuMann to give it to her. That will show her who's boss...a tacky gift. BURN!