She’s joining Sonja, Kelly and LuMann for lunch to catch up. Jill hands the ladies a gift she bought them in Australia. Or maybe at the airport. Or in a junk store on the way to lunch. They are stupid little koala clips and she thinks they are going to put them on their purse.
She says she’s had a lot of time to think and that she’s done with the gossiping. Sure. And I’m done making fun of reality TV. She didn’t last 5 minutes of no gossip, they are already talking about Cindy/Ramona and Kelly/Ramona/drunk text.
Over in Brooklyn, Alex and Simon come home with their two sons and there is piano music coming from inside the apartment. I guess it is one of the boys’ birthday and Alex and Simon have surprised the boys with a strange man playing the piano in the house. Francois even says “Who is that guy?”
Weird.
Ok well apparently the piano is the gift, the guy playing it was just an extra surprise to scare the boys because some strange man was in their apartment. Francois couldn’t care less about this piano but Alex thinks he’s going to be a great pianist.
Kelly asks Sonja to come with her to confront Ramona at a restaurant. Ramona shows up wearing a pleated leather skirt. No one should ever wear that. Ever.
Kelly mentions for the 800th time that she has tons of acquaintances and she’s not interested in anymore acquaintances. She doesn’t want to fight with Ramona anymore.
BORING.
Sonja’s place. She has Cindy over and Cindy is wearing a white long sleeved shirt, brown shorts, gray thigh high socks and black knee high boots. WTF?
Apparently Sonja’s “butler” is a Latin dancer so Cindy starts dancing with her and Sonja seems mortified.
Sonja is confronting Cindy about her telling Kelly about her evil plan about getting Ramona and Kelly in the same place. Cindy denies that she ever mentioned to Kelly that Ramona was invited to the cooking party. Bravo is the best when they throw in the clip to prove that she is in fact lying. She DID tell Kelly that Ramona was going to the cooking party.
Sonja then tells Cindy that Ramona mentioned to her that she got all the way to her party in Quogue and she didn’t have Pinot Grigio for her. Holy shit Ramona…self absorbed much?? But for some reason Sonja is trying to convince Cindy that Ramona is a “star”. I’m so confused. Ramona's a star? In what universe? There is some sort of pecking order in the group of friends and Ramona is on top.
Ramona has apparently turned her jewelry business into like a Tuppware/Pampered Chef/Mary Kay type thing. She’s having a party at her house to show some new jewelry.
LuMann tells the camera that Ramona’s jewelry is very nice, it’s just not for her. As she’s wearing a GIGANTIC gold butterfly around her neck. At least it isn’t a moccasin or a teepee on a chain but damn…can you really make fun of someone’s jewelry when you’re wearing something like that?
Now Ramona is talking to LuMann about Cindy not having Pinot Grigio at her party for her.
Kelly and Cindy are taking a walk and they run into Jill walking her dog. Strike two Jill…gossiping again. But I’m bored. Please let something happen.
Oh, it’s the Toaster Oven Party. And Sonja’s toaster oven is from 1984. She claims to have cooked for royalty out of this toaster oven. I guess they like Stouffer’s French bread pizza?
It involves tinfoil. LuMann is shitting her pants. She’s not used to this kind of ghetto service.
And this isn’t a party – it is Sonja, Kelly and LuMann. What a disappointment.
Jill wants to make amends with Alex so she goes to her place in Brooklyn. Alex is wearing a shitload of makeup. She must’ve applied it herself though because she doesn’t say “I just came from a shoot.”
Alex brings up Bethenny and says that she was starting to see Jill treat her like she did Bethenny. She tried to ruin Simon’s business by saying he drank too much. Alex says that Jill called her kids animals. Jill denies it. No flashback by Bravo. Boo.
Cindy and Ramona are meeting for lunch – all these women do is eat, drink and gossip. Ramona’s wearing sunglasses inside like she’s going incognito or something. Oh wait, she's a "star".
Ramona orders….drumroll….Pinot Grigio. Cindy orders a martini – she needs vodka to deal with Ramona.
Holy shit they are actually talking about Cindy’s party and how she didn’t have Pinot there for her. She was disappointed in Cindy’s party because she had time with her husband, away from her daughter and she wanted to do adult things – not attend a “kiddy” party like Cindy’s was. I guess if there is no Pinot, it’s a child’s party. Ramona is so full of herself this season.
What a boring fucking episode!!
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