I can’t believe we’re already to the end of the season. I hope Nene redeems herself in this episode because she is usually my favorite but I REALLY didn’t like her last week when they were in Miami.
Lawrence is getting fake lashes and is going to perform his “Closet Freak” song. Everyone is attending except Cynthia because she might be working on wedding stuff. Of course she is, we saw the previews.
Quick rundown: Nene claims she will never have anything to do with Kim anymore. I think we’ve heard this before. Kandi has the stupid broom hair-do again. Someone needs to help her. Phaedra’s earrings are as big as napkins.
Lawrence’s voice is good, very unlike Kim’s. He also looks comfortable on stage. Ohhh shit…Nene just said the SAME thing. We are destined to be friends.
Cynthia has 2 days until the wedding. She is in organization mode. She says that when she returned from Miami, she decided to forget all of the problems and go ahead with planning the wedding. Wait…wasn’t THE MAJOR problem that they don’t have enough money for the wedding? I’m guessing she’s maxing out a few credit cards in the next 2 days.
I’ve only been to one wedding with an open bar and it was as Castle in the Clouds in the White Mountains. I had to drink the beer they made there so that sucked.
Anyway, for these people it is UNHEARD of to have a cash bar. According to Cynthia it is equivalent to going out and killing somebody. It is so incredibly backwards. The guests coming to this wedding can AFFORD to buy drinks. People like me on the other hand, really could use an open bar at a wedding. Those Coors Lights add up quick and who wants to keep running out to the cooler in the car to drink one in the parking lot?
To me, it sounds like Cynthia just wants to get married to have the actual wedding. She is ok with getting a divorce if things don’t work out.
Sorry, I don’t feel bad for her not having the money for her wedding.
Phaedra’s going back to work. I don’t know what lawyers dress the way she does and wear loads of white eye shadow. Oh wait, she’s got strippers as clients. She is correctly dressed.
She has feelings! She’s crying because she has to leave her baby Ayden at home while she goes to work. First surprise of the night = Phaedra is not made of stone despite the fact that she was frightened at her baby’s looks when he was first born.
The babysitter wore lots of white eye shadow too so the baby would be comfortable with her.
Kim is at Kandi’s place. Apparently Kim went around Kandi about money for the song. She’s supposed to go through the producer. Kim thinks that the producer (Kandi) works on the song for 2 or 3 days and then they are done. For some reason Kim can’t get it through her thick wig that she wouldn’t have gone on that “bus tour” if it weren’t for Kandi and her voice wouldn’t be remotely acceptable without autotune.
The way Kim needs to sell her song is by getting her boobs redone. Yes, she actually said this.
I think Kandi believes that she has explained everything to Kim and that she understands. We all know that’s not true.
Whatever Kim was drinking has made her tongue BRIGHT red. Its like she’s 9 years old.
Sheree…get ready to be embarrassed. She’s auditioning for a movie. Oh my god, my face is actually getting red for her and she hasn’t even gone in the room yet.
Oh no, she’s in the room. They’ve already stopped her once for being terrible.
Is it just me or is one of the people on the panel she’s auditioning for the shy girl “Keisha” who turns into some crazy demon-like freak in the back of Loc-Dog’s mail truck in “Don’t Be a Menace…”? I think that’s her.
They are saying “no no no no no” about Sheree’s acting. RUN AWAY SHEREE! YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL!
So they just showed the woman’s name on the panel – Terri Vaughn. I looked her up and I’m right! She played “Keisha” in Don’t Be a Menace (pic above!). I’m awesome. She’s yelling at Sheree too, I’m waiting for the demon face to come out.
Sheree thinks that the panel (directors, producers, etc.) want the character to be an “angry black woman” but Sheree thinks that is too cliché and she was trying to do it another way.
Hmmm…anyone want to bet the role she’s auditioning for is “angry black woman”. More embarrassment.
10 hours until Cynthia’s wedding. Her mother came up with $3k for the drinks for the wedding.
Everyone keeps asking her “Are you sure you want to do this?” and Cynthia doesn’t understand why. Maybe the fact that she looks ridiculously miserable. She even says that the wedding “doesn’t feel right”. Way to start the marriage to the old man…sad and in debt.
Even Cynthia’s sister is crying because she knows this just seems moronic. Cynthia goes and takes a walk to a park and her mom follows where they cry. This amount and type of crying should NOT be happening on your wedding day.
I feel like she’s getting ready to turn herself in to start serving a life sentence!
What I don’t understand is what Cynthia is worried about…is it just the money thing? Or is something else going on? I can’t imagine someone being so sad about money when you’re spending it that day on a giant PARTY? Get married at city hall and save yourself hundreds of thousands of dollars.
We haven’t seen Greg, Nene’s husband in a while…since he did the interview on the radio about giving Nene money to promote herself. Nene told Greg “You have done me wrong as your wife.” He had, it seemed, and he didn’t care. So for the finale they’ve decided to talk about it. Producers must’ve told them they needed to “wrap up that storyline”.
He’s apologizing to her but she doesn’t seem to be accepting it. I’m bored with this whole conversation and storyline. I’m honestly yawning and I’m never tired at night. Maybe I’ve found my cure for insomnia…Nene and Greg’s conversations.
6 hours until the wedding. Cynthia’s sister finds out that there are no wedding bands – that was one of Peter’s “to-do items”. Cynthia is drinking champagne to stop her from crying. Not sure if that’s a good plan. While talking to her daughter she definitely looks a bit buzzed.
3 hours until the wedding. Cynthia is not wearing white to get married, which I love. However, the silver dress is POOFY and it ties at the side of the neck in a giant poofy bow.. Second surprise of the night = dress is hideous.
Back at Smokey Smokerson’s place, Kim has a microphone in bed with her and she’s screaming “sweetie” into it to get her assistant Sweetie up there. Kim had her boobs done. They look just as big as before but now are apparently more smooshy. She is just so classy with that butt hanging out of her mouth while she’s getting ready.
Kim is dating Kroy, the football player she met at the Dancing with the Atlanta Stars or whatever. She has taken off “Big Poppa’s” engagement ring and she’s now actually dating a man who is not married.
Peter gets to the wedding and immediately says “I’m so fucked up right now.” He’s drunk…looks it, sounds it and apparently smells like it.
Cynthia forgot the marriage license. Someone may or may not have taken it from the house.
Diabolical events happening…Cynthia’s sister has the marriage license but is wondering if she should give it to Cynthia or not. I did not see this coming. Third surprise of the night = that Cynthia’s sister and mother would hide the marriage license in hopes she’d take it as a sign or something.
Kim shows up to the wedding with her own bottle of wine. She says that there is no way that Cynthia has good wine since they had money problems. She has a glass and dumps ice in it. Classin’ it up with the cleavage, butts and BYOW.
Phaedra arrives and is excited to show off her lactating breasts.
1 hour to the wedding. The sister hasn’t fessed up about the license. She just told her “everything’s good with the marriage license.” I wonder how Cynthia will react when she finds this out since the sister didn’t hide her actions from the cameras.
Since they are getting married at a museum with dinosaur bones and statues, it isn’t your normal wedding venue. On the way to their seats, Apollo asks his wife Phaedra “Where are the flowers?” Phaedra’s answer is “Well…I guess the dinosaur is a wonderful accent…” and that cracked me up.
Sheree, snobby as ever: “The wedding was nice but you could see where they cut corners.” I’m so glad she embarrassed herself at that movie audition.
More classy Kim, pulling up her dress at the boob area. Yank it up, Kim. At this point, she’d look more classy if her boob popped out of her dress.
Cynthia looked very pretty makeup-wise…but that fucking puffy dress. Ugh.
The person who announced the “new couple” said “Mr. and Mr. Peter Thomas” TWICE. Kim’s already betting they won’t be together within a year. What a doomed, awful day.
Dwight and Nene’s conversation and dancing was very awkward. Everyone dancing was awkward.
Most awkward. Wedding. Ever.
Now drumroll for the fourth and most surprising thing about the finale = Sheree got the part in that movie.
Huh?
All in all, this was a really shitty finale. At least New York is coming up – Krazy Kelly Kiloren-Bensimon is sure to provide us with lots of which I can poke fun. Yay!
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