Teen Mom 2 (from 2/1)

 

Leah and Corey are back together and spending the day with his family at the beach. I HATE Leah for being so skinny after having twins. I guess having a baby in your teens you are much more likely to bounce back quickly.

Why is Corey’s father wearing a mohair sweater underneath his Hawaiian shirt? Oh…sorry…that was chest hair.

They are holding the twins in the water asking them how they like the beach. Ali’s answer to that is spitting up. Love it.

Corey wants them to move back in together. His too tightly curled brimmed hats, him, Leah and the twins, all in one place. Yeah!

Sometime later in the week or month or year, Leah and Corey go to a friend’s “house” for a “barbeque”. I put both of those words in quotes because I use the terms loosely.  The “house” is one of those non-mobile-mobile homes that almost looks like a metal storage shed and the “barbeque” consists of about 35 hot dogs.

Corey and Leah then find a non-mobile-mobile-home-shed to move into. There are a lot of them that look the same there. Even the non-finished porch with no fence is just like the fancy barbeque spot. Their new “house” is on a river that is the color of Grey Poupon. But I’m just glad they are all together.

As a final side note on Leah’s segments: Leah needs to give her mom her hair salon’s phone number. NOW.

 

Chelsea is claiming that Adam is actually helping with their daughter. Maybe he puts the baby in the red sleeping bag on the floor now instead of her.

The three head out to the zoo and when Chelsea’s dad calls she lies and doesn’t tell him that Adam is with her. She wants to make sure they will be ok first…or until the show airs…whichever comes first.

The next day (or a few days later) Chelsea’s father visits and tells her that he’s been hearing rumors that she’s back with Adam. Chelsea’s father has a good gossip circle. Or maybe Megan, the roomie, ratted her out. If she did, I like her.

Someone needs to show Chelsea her 16 & Pregnant episode again. Or re-read those texts he sent. She looks like an idiot for taking him back.

The air conditioning isn’t working so Adam goes to buy a new filter. However, Chelsea’s father comes by and tells her that she just needs to turn the switch on. Brilliant!

I’m not one to talk about getting “dressed up” being a stay at home mom, but Chelsea is on TELEVISION. Run a comb through that thing please.

While out for some Coca Cola Classics, Adam and Chelsea make the decision that he should move in with her…in her house…that her dad pays for.

Megan is NOT happy about this and I don’t blame her. However, I can’t wait to see Chelsea’s Dad’s reaction.

 

Kailyn and Jo are getting along better now that she’s not seeing Awkward Jordan. They go on a date where Jo bites and picks his nails all while avoiding eye contact. Looks like they might be planning on getting back together. Great idea.

Kailyn’s friend Kim always wears shorts that are too short and too tight. She’s going to be on television and these are the outfits she' has chosen. She’s walking into Staples looking like someone just painted some shorts on her with her hair in a side ponytail. Yuck.

Kailyn wants to go to school without paying. I think she expected the woman at the school to tell her that she could attend even though she has no money. I used to work in Student Accounts at a college so I’m annoyed with her. She should have applied for financial aid long ago and she’d probably be fully covered with grants and loans since she’s a single mother with a part time job.

She should have just told the woman that her salary from “Teen Mom 2” will be coming soon – aren’t the cameras following her around enough collateral?

Now this is a surprise, Jo works full time. Kailyn asks him to borrow $600 and he says yes. Holy crap, he has enough money that he can loan her $600 on short notice? I think she is probably now obligated to give him a hummer or something.

 

Jenelle says she’s still spending lots of time with Jace, even though her mother has custody.  Jenelle explains that on Saturdays, she babysits Jace by herself. Babysits…her own son. However, it is Friiiiiiiday and she’s going out with friends. Surprise, surprise.

I think Jenelle and her friend got baked right before arriving at her friend’s house. I also think everyone sitting at the table playing cards has smoked a bit too. I keep scanning the table for a glass bowl or a baggy.

Jenelle is flirting with the guy who is wearing a hoodie even though it must be July since last week’s episode was the fourth of July. I think he said he didn’t graduate high school and that still makes her sexy. That doesn’t make sense at all. They are definitely high. Allegedly. They are giggling at things that make no sense. Way to go, Jenelle. Way to go.

Oh and his name is "Reefer”. No, I’m kidding. It’s “Kieffer”. Close enough.

It is the next morning when Jenelle is supposed to be babysitting for Jace (I wonder how much she gets paid per hour?) but she’s just getting home. She spent the night with Reefer.  Way to go.

She walks in the house and Barbara sees lots of hickeys. Gross. Who gives or gets hickeys? How is that sexual…sitting there sucking the blood to the surface of the skin? Bunch of animals.

Because of these hickeys, Barbara tells Jenelle that she is going to arrange for a babysitter for Saturdays (other than Jenelle).  It REALLY bothers me that Jenelle doesn’t care at all. She just shuts the bathroom door. Way to go.

“Staying out all night, probably wasn’t a good idea” says Jenelle in her voiceover. Oh my god, really??!

A few days later, Jenelle decides to leave her son again so she can go on a date with Reefer.  I think they get high and then get ice cream. Jenelle can’t eat the ice cream without it melting all over her hands and then she drops it on the ground. It is just becoming way too difficult to eat ice cream these days.

Jenelle knows a place where there is an alligator in the water and Reefer wants to see it. He’s taunting it by putting his leg towards the water. Jenelle announces via voiceover that there is just something about him she really likes. Well, he didn’t push her into the gator’s jaws – that was a good sign. Way to go, Reefer.

Jenelle is busy putting eyeliner on while Barbara is telling her she’s going to be late for school. Meanwhile, Jace is getting into the cabinet under the kitchen sink which I can only assume contains baby food and teething rings because you know the Ajax, dishwasher liquid and other chemicals are stored in Jace’s room.

Jenelle meets with her school counselor who tells her that she’s a good student (from her high school transcripts). She has chosen “film editing” as her career choice – which totally makes sense now. The music videos she was lip synching to on youtube were for school!

The two high lovebirds go out for some lunch, leaving Jace with Barbara. Shocking! Both are wearing hemp necklaces. I cut my dirty ass hemp necklace off my neck in about 1997 so it is confusing that they are wearing them in 2010.

Jenelle is at her friend Amber’s house telling her about Reefer. Amber asks if he has met Jace yet and Jenelle says no. I think the question I want to ask Jenelle is “Have YOU met Jace yet?” She’s NEVER home.

Reefer is going home with Jenelle to meet Barbara and Jace. He’s wearing white shorts with symbols from a deck of cards on them, a black shirt with white writing and a light blue hat. Awesome first impression Reefer, way to match. He also trips as he’s going to shake Barbara’s hand. Probably shouldn’t have smoked that blunt prior to arrival.

Barbara is grilling him. He is from New Jersey but his parents don’t live here. He walked here with a forty pound bag of clothes by himself. He is laid off right now but he can “do so many things”. I mean, you can’t even lie and say you have a job?

Jenelle points out that he has also taken “like” two classes in culinary school.  Not two years or two semesters…two CLASSES.  He says he can “walk into any kitchen around here pretty much and cook with my resume.” Well, he was bragging at the diner that he could do a better job than the short-order cook flipping burgers. I bet those two classes in culinary school were about turning the on the stove and flipping meat. He’s all set to apply at Tavern on the Green or Spago.

I can’t wait to see where this goes.

Until next week – please wear a condom.