I'll give the rundown on my opinions of the returning housewives.
Tamra - hate her, hate her, hate her. When I first started watching, I actually liked her. However, she has slowly become a petty, jealous, conceited and immature person.
Gretchen - I actually started watching this show because of her. I saw a preview for the season premiere when she was a new addition to the show and I just had to see this "gold digger". Now I like her best of the OC ladies.
Vicki - She's basically annoying but I don't hate her.
Alexis - She is one of those people who has more nannies than children even though she doesn't work. She is also one of those people who says that her "god" comes first, then her husband, then her children. As an atheist this doesn't make sense to me but also as a mother. My son comes first no matter WHAT. To each their own I guess.
Starting off with Tamra. She's divorced from her awful, controlling husband Simon. I'm annoyed that she keeps calling herself a "free bitch". She is too old to talk like this. She's already dating a guy and she's had more plastic surgery or botox. I can't tell if she's smiling or frowning but she always has these strange wrinkles on her nose near her eyes as if she's scrunching it up due to a bad smell.
She's throwing a shopping party and calling everyone to invite them, including Gretchen because I'm sure the producers told her she had to.
Last season Tamra had the bright idea to get her husband's name tattooed on her finger. She did this because their relationship was falling apart. Anyone see any logic here? Of course not because she's ridiculous. So now she's having it removed with laser surgery.
She also reveals another tattoo, a tramp stamp. Next to a tribal tattoo or a Japanese word it is one of the cheesiest and most cliche tattoos that I've ever seen: a yin-yang symbol as the center of a sun. What is even worse is that this tattoo matches one that Simon has.
What kind of man is he that he gets a yin-yang sun tattoo? Gross! I wonder if he has his on his lower back too. It is probably in between a dolphin and a rose.
Gretchen developed her makeup line in the last season and now she also has a handbag line. I assume she's selling this stuff on HSN. She's still dating Slade Smiley who is a smarmy, yucky guy who has now dated three housewives of the OC.
In the second scene with Gretchen I think she's used the word "like" about 47 times.
Vicki - we've already seen a little snippet of her basically making fun of Gretchen saying that she buys Louis Vuitton (and a bunch of other expensive brands) and will NOT be buying a Gretchen handbag. She can be such a snob.
Vicki and her husband Don are moving furniture around in the house and she's doing it in heels. Smart.
Alexis has cut her nannies down to only one for her three children. (I was wrong, she only had two nannies before). She says that she wakes up every day and tries "to do what Jesus would do". I guess she thinks that Jesus had breast implants, extensions and fake nails.
She says the bible says that the man is supposed to be the head of the household and the wife is to be second. This mentality makes me crazy, this is another reason I don't like her.
Tamra has a half naked bartender for her party - because that's what OC free bitches do! I guess they also pretend to be maybe bisexual in front of guys. No, that's when you're an attention seeking 21 year old. Tamra is fake flirting with her personal trainer/friend Fernanda who is a lesbian.
Evidently Jesus also rents limos when he goes to parties so he doesn't get a DUI. In the limo, Alexis says something about a credit card, her Amex...but she says "A - mex". What a D - ummy.
She's going with Gretchen and two other women to Tamra's party. One of the women is wearing Dirty Dancing shorts I think. I don't think that's allowed in Orange County or in limos. Or in any time period later than 1990. Or on anyone else but "Baby" Frances Houseman.
(from http://www.bennadel.com/)
The shopping party is awkward. I feel like everyone is saying "cute" "pretty" "I like that" but just so the woman showing the clothes doesn't feel bad. Some of the things have a bedazzled eye on it. "Oh, that's nice!"It is called the evil eye and Gretchen makes some comment about it towards Tamra that wasn't a big deal and really not even an insult, if it was it was lame.
When Vicki arrives with un-brushed hair, Tamra tells her that Gretchen just "ripped her a new asshole". The evil eye comment was not ripping a new asshole, it wasn't even close to the anal area at all. Tamra is looking for drama.
Vicki and Tamra go off by themselves to make fun of Gretchen. I was hoping Tamra was pulling her aside to give her a comb. Instead, she's asking Vicki to pinky swear with her. What's next, mud masks, truth or dare and a copy of Teen Beat magazine makes the rounds? Tamra YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR PINKY SWEARS.
The other ladies are buzzed (Gretchen is drunk) and are talking really loud even though they are a foot apart from each other.
Tamra puts on the bedazzled evil eye hat so that she can ask Gretchen if she was calling her an evil bitch earlier. Holy crap on a stick - GET OVER IT. I'm beginning to think the producers told her to stir up the issues between her and Gretchen again. BORING!
Before Vicki leaves she hugs Tamra and Tamra says "I miss you" to which Vicki responds with "Do you? Thank you." How embarrassing.
Gretchen and Alexis are arguing in the limo on the way home because Alexis called her a princess earlier.
I feel like I'm hungover and I haven't even been drinking.
Overall a tame first episode. If I hear Gretchen say "like" and Tamra say "bitch" one more time I'm probably going to puke and I have a feeling it will be bedazzled.
The previews for the rest of the season don't look as crazy as in the past except for Tamra fighting with (ex OC housewive) Jeanna and she actually pushes her from behind.
I actually kind of get the whole marriage before kids thing. It's like when you and your spouse are fighting, especially in front of your kid then the kid gets upset or a person has to kind of agree with the other partner on how to discipline the children. Parents kind of have to have united front with their kids, no matter what even if they are divorced or together. Also, when a marriage falls apart, the kids go through some trouble even during a peaceful divorce so sometimes its best for parents to get along to help the kids. I mean, that was what I was taught, that you have to get along with your wife/husband so your kids can have things a bit easier. With Alexis, I think she puts Greasy Jim in front of EVERYTHING and thats not how it should it. It has to be a cooperative thing, not "I am the husband and in charge thing" I was raised in a Christian household and we never were brought up to believe that husbands were in charge of everything but rather we have to compromise and Alexis and Jim don't..so its kind of sad to see that.
ReplyDeleteI saw the whole Alexis "princess" statement. It was nothing! I would have laughed it off. Anyways, the evil eye thing was blown up and it was kind of funny. Besides, why invite the cow when she doesn't want to?
ReplyDelete"What a D - ummy."
ReplyDeleteLOL!! I've been reading your blog a lot since I came across it recently but I feel compelled to leave my first ever comment on the entry with a Dirty Dancing reference since it's my favorite movie :) Your blog is hilarious, and we watch all the same shows so I'll be here a lot! =)