Survivor: Redemption Island: Covert Matters (from 3/9)

Ah, first night vision shot is a bunch of bats. This doesn't scare me as much as the snakes, spiders and frogs but I'm still worried.  Whenever I see bats I always picture Francis from The Goonies making a "cross" with his fingers to ward them away - like they were vampires.

Crazy Philip and his pink underwear are sweeping the dirt. What is the point in that?  Boston Rob is calling them "saggy-bottom panties" now. Finally someone says something about his underwear and they are as grossed out as I am. Rob calls them pink tightie-whities but they are really tightie-pinkies.

The tribe gets their note about sending two people to Redemption Island to watch the duel. Phillip definitely wants to visit because of his background as a "special agent with the United States government"...and us Americans lower our heads in embarrassment that Tightie-Pinkie was some kind of secret agent. What one has to do with the other is beyond me. Big Boobs goes with him.

Back at the purple tribe Russell's two pawns are sunbathing and still worshipping him.  Hairy Ralph reveals to all except the two that he has the immunity idol and Ralph is headed to watch the duel with one of the girls.

Matt and Russell are dueling on Redemption Island by playing some sort of Dominoes game. The way I play Dominoes anyway...setting them up standing up and knocking them down. Matt wins and Russell is crying. He makes some comments about his team basically sucking and Ralph decides to tell him and the others that are there that he found the immunity idol 15 seconds into the game. When Russell asks him to show him, Ralph starts rummaging through his bag and his teammate whispers "Don't do this" so Ralph says "I faked you!" I laughed out loud. "I faked you!" I'm going to start using that in my daily life...with Ralph's accent minus his hairy body.

Jeff confirms with Ralph that what he said about finding the idol was a lie. Mr. Secret Agent Tightie-Pinkie starts hollering that it wasn't a lie. I don't believe I've ever used the word hollering before but that is the only way I can describe Phillip's outburst.

Russell reveals to the orange team members who has an alliance on the purple team. Boy are the orange team members lucky that the super secret agent was there to decipher the cryptic clues.

While the duel was going on, Boston Rob plans a beach picnic with everyone and then pretends to be constipated and heads off into the jungle to secretly look for the immunity idol. For some reason even though I know he was lying about it I'm still grossed out picturing him squatting in the woods pushing out a hard poop.

He does find the idol up in a tree and while jumping to get it his sweat lands on the camera. Stinky.


At purple camp, Russell's pawns are for some reason still defending him and are upset that people are happy he's gone.

Phillip tells Big Boobs Kristina that they will NOT tell the tribe who has the idol on the other team. I am not sure of the logic on this one but I love that Kristina's response was "Well you have experience in these covert matters Phil, so whatever you think." Covert matters. hee hee

When the tribe ask if Russell revealed who had the idols or anything Mr. SSATP007 (Super Secret Agent Tightie-Pinkie 007) stammers "No...it was really weird."  I really hope he wasn't a spy.

Phillip tries to suck up to Rob by telling him everything that he said he was going to hold back.  This guy is awful. I'm thinking that his government job was actually just in his head...like in the movie A Beautiful Mind. Sorry...that was a spoiler to A Beautiful Mind. But if you haven't seen it by now you probably won't.


Immunity challenge time and it is sponsored by Craftsman/Sears. At one point in this little obstacle course two saws have to fall from the sky. Scary.

Grant on the yellow team basically flies through the air when he runs. He's the ex-NFL player. He's not as fast with the sawing. But he looked like a ballerina leaping through the course.

Purple team wins immunity and some food in a box from Sears. I think a lot of them will be pooping in the woods tonight!


At orange camp Phillip is trying to give a pep talk and everyone stares blankly. Phillip goes back into hunting mode to spear crabs and the tribe discuss voting Kristina or Phillip out.

I like Grant with his agile ballerina leaps and white guy dreads. He's my new crush.

Phil 007 is again making a fool of himself at tribal council. He's going on and on about how great he is and how he was honorably discharged from the army, yada yada yada. Don't they have to do psychological examinations to get on this show?

Kristina is voted out and is headed to Redemption Island.