Dexter is based in Miami and too many people wear white pants and silly hats. Just during the intro to this RH episode, I saw the ugliest bathing suit I've ever seen. I could rest my case right now.
First we meet Lea. I enter into evidence a hideous blouse and ugly gold jewelry. A few scenes of her and I can't keep up with describing the ugly clothes.
Lea is somehow involved with celebrities like Dennis Rodman. I'm too distracted by her ugly outfits to understand what she does for a living, but I'm sure we'll find out as the season goes on.
Larsa is married to Scottie Pippen. They have three sons and one daughter. So far the kids dress better than any of the adults.
Larsa goes out shopping and is wearing what I can only assume is a silky pajama romper. She holds up something that looks like a scarf with a belt and asks "Is this for the bedroom or to go out to dinner?" Ummm, I think it's some kind of scuba gear but I don't know.
Larsa is heading to a gun range to learn to shoot a gun. She screams after every shot. Afterwards, they walk out onto the field to pick up their targets. I am not walking onto a gun range field, ever.
Surprisingly, no one gets shot and Larsa takes her target home. Out of let's say 60 or so shots, she hit it three times.
Adriana, an art dealer, IS wearing pajamas outside in her first scene. She's having breakfast by the water with her fiance and her son. Her son is eating an egg out of its shell in an egg cup. I've never seen such a thing.
Now, I would never eat an egg this way, but now that I've looked up pictures of egg cups, I SO want to collect gaudy egg cups.
(from www.7gadgets.com, www.applesundermybed.blogspot.com, www.oneinchpunch.net, www.germancarblog.com)
Back to the show.
One of Adriana's tops has little mirrors on it. She's the one who was wearing the worst bathing suit ever in the opening scene.
Cristy is Cuban American, was married to an ex-NBA player, is wearing blue nail polish and talks WAY too fast. She seems like the drinker of the group.
Adriana, Larsa and Cristy go to a fashion show. Adriana is embarrassed that they are very early to the show and are the first ones in the front row. I'm wondering if they aren't actually early and no one goes to fashion shows in Miami because all the clothes are ugly. But we'll see.
Adriana likes the men wearing speedos in the fashion show. In New England when you see a guy in a speedo at the beach, he's usually a pale Canadian and a little pudgy. We don't see men up here like that and I'm glad. I like regular 'board shorts' on guys, not banana hammocks.
The three girls go out to a club after the fashion show. They awkwardly get up and dance. A boy wearing a buttoned up vest like he's in a wedding comes up to dance with Cristy. Larsa, feeling uncomfortable with guys around sits down and Adriana calls her a stick in the mud. I'm with Larsa here...she's married. No need for anyone to be rubbing their banana hammock on her.
A guy who is wearing a scarf - yes a scarf...the AC must be blasting or something - tells Larsa that it is weird that she's happily married. Yup, time to go home.
Alexia is blonde with brown eyebrows. From far away she could pass for Beth Stern (Howard's wife) but Beth is prettier. Alexia looks young but she has a 17 year old son who doesn't know what "grass fed filet mignon" means on the menu. Oh my.
Alexia's husband has the unfortunate name of Herman. He looks like he could be her father.
When Alexia talks, her sounds like my friend Melissa pretending to have an accent.
Her son Peter is going on a cruise with his girlfriend and she's nervous about it because she knows he'll be stuffing his face. Umm...I'd probably be more nervous that he's a teenager going on a cruise with his girlfriend but hey, my son is only 9 months old so how can I talk.
Marysol has had some work done on her lips. She owns a PR firm. Her lips are awful. In the little staff meeting she asks her employees how their weekend was and one responds that it is Friday. Her lips are awful.
At a lunch with two guys, one wearing a silly white hat (see, I told you!), Marysol says she's anti-plastic surgery. Ok so maybe I'm wrong about her lips and she's just wearing one of those Barbie masks for Halloween - remember those, when your face sweat underneath it? Hmmm...I'll look for the white elastic.
Marysol's mother is scary looking. I think she is also wearing a Barbie mask but this one is Grandma-Cat-Woman-Barbie. She looks like a less scary version of Jocelyn Wildenstein. If you don't know who that is, just Google "bad plastic surgery"...you'll see.
Marysol looks much more natural and pretty when next to her mother.
Lea is having a girls night that involves cooking, eating and drinking. She's wearing a peace sign necklace, a white button down with stripes on the inside, mom jeans and a pinky ring that could knock someone out. Seriously, I'm not making this stuff up.
Holy shit, I see something I like on one of the women! Cristy is wearing like 5 inches of beaded bracelets and I am in love with the look. After this I'm going on a hunt for a bunch of colored beaded bracelets.
You can sort of see them in this photo but she has even more on in the scene I'm talking about.
I guess I needed to put the picture up to prove that they aren't hideous like the rest of the clothes and accessories on this show.
The women drink from huge wine glasses that are probably sold in the home & garden section of the store because they can be used to grow plants.
Well, the previews for this season look great. I'm looking forward to recapping the fighting, the gossip and the hideous clothes!
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