Survivor: Redemption Island (from 2/23)

Well, we left off last week with "Fransessqua" being voted off and sent to Redemption Island. She's there by herself in the dark and I'm scared.  But wait, she's not really alone, there are camera men. So if she needs a snake or a frog to be killed I'm sure they'd do it for her.

Back in the orange tribe, crazy pink underwear man Phillip pulls Boston Rob aside to babble on about meaningless nonsense. Boston Rob knows this former federal agent is not all there and makes a true statement "Government jobs? Stressful."

Its daytime now and Phillip is walking around in his pink undies again. Now he's trying to catch a tiny crab with a javelin. Ok it's a stick shaped into a spear but doesn't it sound more exciting if it were a javelin?

During his interview behind a tree he's basically crying while talking about the good old U.S. of A. and himself.

Over on purple, Russell is trying to gather up some of the gullible girls to be on his alliance.  So, the young one and the blonde one. If I were on this team I would take it as such a compliment if he didn't approach me to be on his alliance.

Ralph, the hairy man in overalls who Russell believes is the dumbest man on the planet is picking up rocks for some reason. He drops them all when an ant crawls on his hand and discovers the immunity idol. That was easy.

Ok, there are red frogs with black legs where they are. I'm freaking out.

On the orange tribe, blonde boy (Matt) and blonde girl (Andrea) are flirting openly. I can practically smell the B.O. through the screen. Animals.

Time for an immunity challenge. Phillip announces in some strange accent that he will outlast any man over there (Redemption Island). Where did this accent come from? Isn't there some frog that you lick and trip your balls off? I think he was licking those frogs.

The reward that will be won along with the immunity idol is fishing gear. I'd totally be screwed on Survivor because I hate fish. I'd need some kind of kit to make Big Macs to get me moving.

Now, in this challenge, part of it is diving in some water, swimming a bit and then climbing up a ladder. All of the girls have to pick up their bikini bottoms as they climb the ladder.  Yes, you look lovely in your string bikini but thanks for losing the challenge for us because your ass crack was hanging out and you had to pull it up. Common sense would tell them to wear one piece bathing suits...but then some guys wouldn't watch the show and the girls wouldn't get offers from Playboy afterwards...so I guess the bikinis are necessary.

Purple team wins immunity and the reward. Boston Rob is PISSED. He's even more pissed that blondie Matt goes over to shake the other team's hands.

Russell carries the reward back to camp because he knows the clue for the hidden immunity idol is in it. He sneaks it into his pocket and supposed "dummy" Ralph sees him.  When Russell goes off with his two followers, Ralph tells the rest of the tribe about what he saw. 

Of course, Ralph HAS the immunity idol. Right now, he looks like the smartest one on the tribe. Don't judge a hairy book by its overalls.

Orange tribe - Phillip is making his little speech to the tribe as if he's some kind of leader. No one responds and it is embarrassing.

Boston Rob is much smarter at this game than anyone else. He's putting on a big to-do with Phillip and telling him that he'll put his hand on the shoulder of the person he wants him to vote for.  However, this is just a test to see if Phillip will blab this all at tribal council.

Here we are and so far Phillip isn't blabbing about what Boston Rob told him, he's going on and on about his tattoos, animals and his country. He's making no sense. I think the effects of licking that frog are still lingering. People are giggling at him, including myself.

He's looking forward to meeting his nemesis on Redemption Island. Franchesca. Hilarious that this former federal agent's arch nemesis is a woman he just met. And he still pronounces is Fransessqua.

Big Boobs Kristina plays her immunity idol, although it was unnecessary. Matt and Andrea are completely shocked that Matt was voted out.

I'm still wondering what Phillip did with that crab he stuck with the javelin.