Teen Mom: Coonskin Park (from 3/1)

Oh goody goody gumdrops we're starting the episode off with Miserablyn (Kailyn).  She's working a lot and going to school so we see Jo bathing Isaac and unlike the girls, he doesn't walk away from him while in the tub. Score one point for the boys' team.

Jordan, the awkward guy that Kailyn dated recently asks her to hang out again. They go to an arcade in their Sports Authority uniforms. Rad.

Jo's mom, Janet pulls Kailyn aside to talk about her relationship Jo. Can we have a big party for Janet because she's the most level headed person on Teen Mom ever.  Actually, probably on all of MTV. She reiterates her feelings about Kailyn seeing someone else while living in their house. GO TEAM JANET!

Not caring about this at all, Kailyn leaves Isaac with Jo so she can go rock climbing with Jordan. She texts Jo to tell him she's working late. He'll never find out the truth.

Kailyn is sneaking around with Jordan. Jo is smart enough to know that Kailyn is lying to him.  Next week he calls her a whore. Whore.


Jenelle is getting "serious" in her apartment search. She's still wearing the weird club/concert paper bracelets and I'm also now seeing she has a dirty hemp bracelet in addition to a dirty hemp necklace. WHAT YEAR IS THIS????

Reefer still hasn't found a job, he's just hanging out in a Surf shop with a hood on. He and Jenelle realize they will soon not have any place to live. I realize that while Jenelle's eyebrows are normal length, each of them are half dark and half light/somewhat bald. They look like a small worms leaving entrails.
She needs to fill that shit in.


Jenelle has the wonderful idea to ask her mom if her and Reefer can live there. This should be good.

She thinks that her mom has been happy with her lately because she's in school and working...however when she walks in the house Barbara doesn't say hi, she says "What are YOU doing here?"

The first thing Jenelle does is hand Jace a bottle of prescription pills to play with.

Barbara is okay with Jenelle and Reefer moving in. The countdown begins to a blowup.

They have to do some chores if they want to stay there so while Reefer watches Jenelle is sweeping the driveway.


She then proceeds to unflinchingly video her son as he falls on the hardwood floor and his toy lands on top of him.  She says "oooohhh!" as if she just saw a friend of hers wipeout on a skateboard. When Barbara goes to the store, she lets Jace play around the glass coffee table.


So - Reefer also has one of those club/concert paper bracelet things and I think his says FUCK. No wonder you can't get a job you moron.

I'm unclear as to what happened but there is some sort of liquid on the couch. Neither Jenelle nor Reefer make any attempt to clean it.

Jenelle pretends she has never seen it before when Barbara notices it.  Barbara complains as she cleans it up that they've only been there a week and Jenelle says "I knew she'd blame that on me, told you Kiefer." She forgot the lie she told just moments before.

Jenelle blames the spill on Jace. Someone please submit her name for mother of the year.

Here we go. Jenelle and Reefer need to take the edge off living with Barbara. While she's inside with Jace, they go out in the yard to get baked. Barbara comes outside with Jace and yells "You're smoking weed in front of my house!" Reefer giggles. Wrong move "hustler!" (That's what Barbara calls him).

Barbara is flaming pissed, and rightly so. Jenelle just quietly rocks back and forth, not a care in the world. Barbara says that Reefer doesn't have a job and does nothing and Reefer's rebuttal is "Whatchu mean, I get money."

After this confrontation, Reefer and Jenelle's conversation is about how they are going to make lots of money and have a bigger house and a nicer car than her someday. I'm seriously nauseated and genuinely sad that this poor baby Jace has a mother like this.

Since leaving Barbara's house, Jenelle and Reefer basically break into the house they were staying in previously because the guy's parents' will not be there for another week. Jenelle cries about the fact that he'll have to move back to New Jersey because they have no place to live. No one to tell her that they love her everyday. This is her main concern.





Chelsea and her dad take Aubree to the park. They discuss Adam again. Chelsea's reasoning behind being happy with him now is that before she used to have to "beg him to hang out" and now she likes that he's just always there.  Time to raise your standards Chelsea. This girl is very pretty and while not the sharpest tool in the shed, she seems like a nice girl. She deserves a lot better than Adam.

Chelsea's dad only wants $300 a month from Adam. I'm really beginning to see where Chelsea gets her pushover nature.  One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

It's a new day and I think Chelsea is wearing Aubree's bedding.

Adam applies for a couple of jobs.  Amazing what people will do to stay on TV these days. Ambition.

Chelsea is letting Aubree play with her curling iron. I know it isn't plugged in at the moment but it will be at some point - am I nuts to think she shouldn't be letting her hold it even when it's not on? Its like "Hey go play in the middle of the street right now because there are no cars."

When Adam gets home she asks him to fill Aubree's bottle with juice, and it isn't watered down. I think dentists in her town are hearing CHA CHING in their heads right now because they can see the cavities coming from miles away.

Chelsea is "glad" Adam is looking for a job and he's clearly overjoyed to have to work for a living but now her concern is that he won't have any time for her and Aubree. Also, he has cheated on her in the past when he worked nights at a restaurant so now she's paranoid he'll cheat again. I guess where they live assholes with part time waiter jobs get a lot of tail.




Leah and Corey are hanging out at her mom's house. Not only is Corey wearing his too tightly curled brim hat, he has a neon green T-shirt that says "Corey" on it.  Leah's hair looks so pretty when it is all straight, I'm glad she doesn't scrunch anymore.

I have to hand it to these two - not many people could handle having twins, nevermind as teenagers and on top of that they have these health problems with Ali.

Thanks to my awesome friend Carrie Sinwelski, I was on the lookout for Coonskin Park. This is where Leah and Corey want to get married. They enter a building named "C. Richard Foutche Clubhouse". I wonder if they offer a camoflauge theme?

I feel like an awful person for making fun of them because they really are cute together and are decent parents!

Oh my goodness, Leah's mother's hair is straight for a day! I guess she finally went to Leah's hairdresser! Also, MTV has used more subtitles in this episode so I can understand a third of what Corey is saying. Progress all around.

The day has come for Ali's MRI.  I feel nervous for all of them and damn, now I'm crying. I truly wish them the best and hope that everything turns out ok.

I can't even give a sarcastic sign off because this episode's ending was so emotional.

I'm just kidding.

Until next week, tell your baby daddies to cut the sleeves off t-shirts and stop shaving!